There wasn't a "Good, Bad, & Ugly" review last week because Raw was so wretched from the jump, but this week is a different animal, in the "go home" show before Summerslam on Sunday.
Actor and former WWE writer Freddie Prinze, Jr. hosted this week's edition. Predictably, he owned up to being a long time fan, and still having many of the older action figures still in his closet. The comedy started early when Santino Marella, starving for airtime, came out dressed as the Fisherman from "I Know What You Did Last Summer". Marella was trying to convince Prinze to land him a gig in a movie, even going so far as to be a walking advertisement for Prinze's next TV gig, a role on Fox's 24 when it returns next year.
Sidebar #1: Marella is better served being sent down to Florida Championship if the creative staff can only come up with marginally funny comedy bits for him to do. It's gotten progressively worse for him over the last two months.
Marella departed, and WWE Champion Randy Orton came out, demanding to be removed from the main event tag match. Well, I saw that one coming. Prinze wouldn't budge, so Randy decided to attack. Anything to get on Access Hollywood and all the other gossip shows, I guess. Prinze was laid out with an over-the-back backbreaker. That is to say, Orton drapes his victim across his own back to execute the move.
The match quality was hit and miss again. The best match on the show, unsurprisingly, was the first one, a US title match between current champ Kofi Kingston and former titlist Carlito Colon, who last held the belt for a few months in 2004 while he and the US title were on Smackdown. Colon has acquired the services of Rosa Mendes as his new valet, the end result of their successful teaming on Superstars last week. Rosa, unfortunately, wasn't much help. She just stood there, looking pretty. After a back & forth battle, Kingston retained after hitting Trouble in Paradise, a twisting, spinning front enziguri. Carlito sold it great, as a young veteran should.
The other title match on the card saw Mickie James defend the "Divas" title vs. Gail Kim, who earned her title shot last week. These two matches were booked for Raw because they won't have room for them at Summerslam. Blame that on the creative team. Anyway, we've seen better from both women. The match ended rather abruptly, as it appeared that Gail may have been legitimately concussed on a botched attempt at blocking Mickie's standing tornado DDT finisher, only to get a love tap of a roundhouse kick, then a forearm shiver, to end it.
Sidebar #2: This was just brutal, despite the talent involved. You have to hope that Gail isn't legitimately injured, because that is the last thing WWE needs right now.
They spent the bulk of the first hour hyping the latest reunion of DeGeneration X (Shawn Michaels & Triple H), but this got old in a hurry. Hunter couldn't even start his spiel before Legacy (Ted DiBiase, Jr. & Cody Rhodes) ambushed the duo and laid them out, sending a clear message that they will be there to put up a fight at Summerslam.
Sidebar #3: All well & good, but it would take a minor miracle for Legacy to win, because it's so obvious now that they're being set up to lose. Again.
While Prinze got all the hype as the host, WWE snuck in another actor under the radar. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. was put in yet another gimmick match vs. Hornswoggle, this time a falls count anywhere match. Now, on paper, this kind of gimmick favors the veteran Guerrero, since he can find as many allies as he can to help him, just as 'Swoggle would. However, no help was coming. Choosing between two doors in the backstage area, Guerrero heard a click and chose the one to his right, only to be met with a paint can rapping him between the eyes. 'Swoggle emerged on the other side, surveyed the area, and covered his enemy. Referee Justin King caught up and tolled the count. Post-match, Mark Henry came out, but he was a decoy. The paint can was a gag straight out of the "Home Alone" movies, and sure enough, Kevin McAllister himself, Macaulay Culkin, emerged next. Chavo was speechless. Enough said. Hopefully, that's the end of this storyline.
Meanwhile, Mike "The Miz" Mizanin is making a move toward challenging for the US title. Ditching the armbands and the long pants, Miz, following the lead of Chris Jericho, is now sporting short tights. The yin/yang logo on the front will remind some of Rob Van Dam, but maybe for the wrong reasons. Miz dismissed Evan Bourne in an all-too-short match with the "Skull Crushing Finale", a full nelson dropped into a front leg sweep, a la Jeff Jarrett's "Stroke" finisher.
Sidebar #4: Miz needs a better name for his new finisher.
Jack Swagger & MVP weren't given time for their entrances, and the match was just starting after a commercial. It only goes a minute or two before Swagger is DQ'd for ignoring the ref's 5 count in the corner. Their hostilities will resume at Summerslam. Nice to tease, but not like this.
The main event was another short affair, and after being sent to a "local medical facility" earlier, Prinze returned and made it a lumberjack match at the last minute, two weeks after Orton bullied Jeremy Piven into doing the same thing. Surprisingly, Orton, in front of the home town fans, played face in peril, rather than the arrogant, selfish champion we expected to see. Unsurprisingly, John Cena collected the fall for his side, pinning Chris Jericho after the Attitude Adjustment. Jericho & Big Show, the tag champs, were made to look like chumps even after the match when they took advantage of Orton RKO'ing Cena. The lumberjacks bought Cena some time, and then the former champion dismissed Jericho & Show himself to end the show.
Raw division predictions for Summerslam:
WWE title: Orton over Cena. I'll be shocked if they put it on Cena at this point. I'd rather they did, but I just can't see it just yet.
DX over Legacy
MVP over Swagger
We'll have full predictions this weekend.
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