Barney Ross (Stallone, who also directed) is hired by an enigmatic government operative known only as "Mr. Church" (Bruce Willis, "Die Hard") to bring down the dictator of a small country. Said dictator, though, is actually fronting for an ex-CIA agent named Monroe (Eric Roberts), who's built up a sizeable nest egg. Monroe's bodyguard, if you will, Paine (Steve Austin, "The Condemned") does little more than stand around and look mean until the final, climatic battle sequence, which includes Paine throwing down separately with Ross and with the oddly named Toll Road (former UFC champ Randy Couture). With Austin & Couture, you know you're going to get some wrestling moves thrown in for good measure, and at one point, Ross actually has a vertical cross-armbreaker applied on Paine.
There's also a brilliant fight scene between Yin Yang (Jet Li) and turncoat Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren, "Rocky IV"), and a great sequence on a neighborhood basketball court in which Lee Christmas (Jason Statham, "The Transporter") snaps open a phat can of whoop-ass on a half dozen weekend warriors, if you will, all in the name of avenging an ex-girlfriend (Charisma Carpenter, ex-Angel) who was beaten by her current flame after Lee came home to visit. And, yet, there are people who want to see martial arts legends Chuck Norris and/or Jean Claude Van Damme in a sequel? Do you really need them when you have Li & Statham, who previously worked together in "War" a couple of years back? I don't think so. Christmas is also proficient with knives.
But perhaps one of the best scenes in the movie came very, very early, with a meeting of 80's action icons Stallone, Willis, & Arnold Schwarzenegger. In a church, of all places. The mind boggles. Being the only one in the theatre for a matinee today, I had a hard time holding back the laughter at some of the classic one-liners. None of them from Stallone, of course.
The way the movie was promoted, you were led to believe that Stallone, Willis, Austin, Couture, Li, Statham, & Lundgren were all on the same side. Not entirely so. Toss in Mickey Rourke as a former teammate turned tattoo artist, hot off his villainous turn in "Iron Man 2" just 3 months ago, and Terry Crews (ex-Everybody Hates Chris), who is also currently in the comedy, "Lottery Ticket", and you understand exactly why some fanboys were marking this release on their calendars.
If memory serves me correctly, this was also one of the last films Brittany Murphy (ex-King of the Hill) worked on before her passing earlier this year. However, either her role was recast, or it was edited out of the film altogether, as there was no sign of her that I could detect.
Update, 12/19/23: Here's the trailer:
Will there be a sequel? Based on the fact that "Expendables" has been #1 at the box office the last two weeks, I'd say it's possible, but let's remember, too, that Stallone, in particular, is a little longer in the tooth than his co-stars, and if a sequel is going to get done, it'd have to be very soon.
Grade: A.
Will there be a sequel? Based on the fact that "Expendables" has been #1 at the box office the last two weeks, I'd say it's possible, but let's remember, too, that Stallone, in particular, is a little longer in the tooth than his co-stars, and if a sequel is going to get done, it'd have to be very soon.
Grade: A.
Now that I think of it, it strikes me as a neanderthal version of the Ocean's Eleven movies, what with the all-star gimmick. That would mean that the only point to a sequel would be to bring in more stars -- of the appropriate sort. Stallone's only options would seem to be JC Van Damme (who rejected his proposed role this time), Steven Seagal (who reportedly has a beef with the producer) and Jackie Chan (who doesn't need to do this). Those look like limited prospects, but maybe Stallone will have put the Expendables brand over enough that he can get away with less next time.
ReplyDeleteI alluded to this in the review, Sammy. Someone on one of the message boards threw Chuck Norris' name in there, but I doubt we'll see that happen. Seagal has a new movie coming out ("Machete") soon, and I can see him fitting in, provided things can be smoothed out with the producers. I doubt seriously, too, that Van Damme would even consider it a 2nd time.
ReplyDeleteI suppose you could toss in any number of 80s has-beens from the "pro" wrestling arena. Hulk Hogan? NWO? It's a film I haven't the least bit of nostalgic interest in seeing. Once I achieved an appreciation for the art of film, Anything that has a taste of 80s action movies is too much junk food for my tastes.
ReplyDeleteHogan? Fuhgeddaboutit! I think Stallone satiated his need for wrestlers by casting Austin. I could see another UFC star, say, "Rampage" Jackson ("The A-Team"), getting into the sequel, and the Nogueira brothers had brief roles in this film.
ReplyDelete