One advantage to having a day off from work is having time to play some DVDs that have collected dust on my shelf for way, way too long. And, then, there's the harsh reality that there were some bad investments sitting there.
Critics panned "Tarzan & the Lost City" when it came to theatres in 1996, and I wondered why. It just happened that I bought the DVD practically dirt cheap, which should've been a sign.
Anyway, our story has Tarzan (Casper Van Dien, "Starship Troopers"), just days away from marrying his lady love, Jane Porter (Jane March), when he gets a vision of an African village burned to the ground by treasure hunters trying to find the lost city of Opar. Jane's not digging the idea of Tarzan, aka John Clayton, aka Lord Greystoke, heading back to Africa, but she follows him anyway. Nigel Ravens may make claims of historical discoveries when it comes to seeking Opar, but it's the jewels and other riches that are luring him. You know, the usual lust & greed that get in the way of common sense.
But as Tarzan discovers, his time away from the jungle has made him soft in the eyes of some of the native tribesmen. Now, he has two challenges. One, to protect and preserve Opar, and, two, to restore his heroic reputation.
Now I begin to understand why the critics were all over this movie like a cheap suit. It's just that. Cheap. As Tarzan, Van Dien just doesn't fit the part. Looks too much like a yuppie. Small wonder that there wasn't a sequel.
Edit: 4/11/14: Here's the trailer:
Rating: D.
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