Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Wrestlemania 27 predictions

WWE presents Wrestlemania 27 on Sunday in Atlanta at the Georgia Dome. The 4-hour card has, as of now 9 matches and plenty of star power, including promotion for the revival of Tough Enough, which returns the next night on USA in back of Monday Night Raw. Let's take a look at the card.

Monday Night Raw matches:

WWE title: The Miz (w/Alex Riley) vs. John Cena.
Miz (Michael Mizanin, ex-The Real World) won the title in November, but has a problem. Every time he has a quality match with someone like Randy Orton, whom he beat for the title, or ex-partner John Morrison, Miz gains credibility with critics and fans. However, that credibility is flushed right down the tubes in his very next match when he gets outside help to win a match. Miz's biggest asset of late has been his ego, which has, predictably, given his character, spiraled out of control. In the tradition of past champions such as Orton, Cena, Triple H, et al, Miz has done the talk show circuit to promote PPV's and WWE-related products like their newest video game. However, when he calls himself "the most must-see champion in WWE history", it's more hyperbole than anything else, because the ratings aren't exactly moving when he's on. Cena, a 9-time champ, has been distracted by the presence of former champ-turned-movie star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who has a movie, "Fast Five", due in May, but isn't using his former employers to help promote that. Instead, Johnson has put his movie career aside to address an outside-the-ring issue with Cena stemming from an interview Cena gave some three years ago in which he questioned Johnson's loyalty to the wrestling industry. Sounds like a lot of sour grapes, considering that Cena's first two feature films didn't crack the top 5 at the box office, and his rap career stalled after his lone CD peaked in the top 20 in 2005. Johnson is giving some love back to WWE, and giving Cena---and, to an extent, Miz---a painful reality check. It's been reported that Johnson is willing to dust off his tights and boots after 7 years away from the mat, but the window of opportunity is rather small, considering other movie commitments on the table. Back to the match. Johnson is the x factor, but I don't see him screwing Cena out of the title. Once he grasps onto Miz's overbearing self-hype, which has Miz, an admitted Rock fan back in the day, putting himself ahead of the People's Champion, you can bet there will be a RockBottom for both champ & challenger by the end of the night. Miz is not leaving Atlanta as champion. Pick--Cena.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton.

One by one, the members of Nexus, the faction Punk took over in January, have been punted back to developmental by Orton. Punk didn't really need them anyway, in this writer's opinon. He has, however, wounded Orton, who was selling a knee injury from the previous week on last night's Raw. This feud is far from over, but this chapter won't end on Sunday, contrary to what Punk said last night. This will continue at Extreme Rules. Pick--Punk.

US title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan.

2-time WWE champ Sheamus won the title on March 14. The reigning King of the Ring has ditched his cloak, scepter, & crown and rediscovered his killer instinct. Bryan (Bryan Danielson) may be wrestling one of his last matches for the red team, as I see him being moved to Smackdown in next month's draft. Way too soon for another title change. Pick--Sheamus.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole (w/Jack Swagger). Special guest referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Cole (former WFLY news anchor Sean Colthard) has morphed into an annoying heel announcer over the last 13 months, coinciding with the launch of NXT last year. His hairstyle and mode of speech & dress of late suggest that Vince McMahon's "Mr. McMahon" persona has been transferred to Cole, who has been with WWE since 1997. Austin's presence will checkmate Swagger, who won the Money in the Bank ladder match at last year's Wrestlemania, and is definitely getting stunnered back to Smackdown for his troubles. I personally believe Cole is nearing the end as an announcer, just like McMahon before him. Lawler, after announcing 16 of the last 17 Wrestlemania PPV's, wrestles at the big dance for the first and probably only time. This is the best bet of the evening. Pick--Lawler.

Friday Night Smackdown matches:

WWE World title: Edge (w/Christian) vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Brodus Clay & personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez).

Del Rio won the Royal Rumble in January and has since claimed that it is his destiny to be World champ. He'd be the first Latin World titlist since Rey Mysterio last held that belt last year, so history's not a factor. He has a face like actor Antonio Banderas (and was known as Alberto Banderas while in developmental), attitude & charisma like another famed actor, Ricardo Montalban, but the growing entourage bogs him down. People are already speculating that Christian will screw his former partner out of the title, but I don't see that. It would be too predictable and cliched. Edge, though, has lost 4 matches in a row at Mania. Unfortunately, that streak is going to reach 5. Pick--Del Rio.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes.

The story is that Mysterio supposedly broke the nose of Rhodes, the youngest son of Hall of Famer Dusty Rhodes, prompting Rhodes to wear a plastic faceguard that doubles as a licensed weapon. Rhodes has eschewed wearing tights & boots in the ring of late, opting for dress slacks & shoes. The gimmick is transparent, short-term, and short-sighted, just like Cole's commentary defending Rhodes and blaming Mysterio, all the while ignoring the fact that Rhodes precipitated the entire scenario in a January match by exposing Mysterio's knee brace, leading to the 619, Mysterio's trademark. It will be a clean sweep for the Latin contingent. Pick--Mysterio.

Crossover matches:

The Corre (Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, & Justin Gabriel) vs. Big Show, Kane, Vladimir Kozlov, & Santino Marella (w/Tamina).

Slater & Gabriel are 3-time tag team titlists. Barrett just cheated his way to the Intercontinental title thanks to his compadres' help. The Corre thinks they can control Smackdown, but there are unanswered questions about how Barrett, Slater, & Gabriel were able to move over from Raw back in January without so much as a trade being announced between the brands. The answer has slipped through the collective fingers of WWE's much maligned creative staff, but we won't go into that here. You have 2 sets of former champions who'd like to get back into the title picture and put the Corre out of business. This match would be a good start. Pick: Show/Kane/Kozlov/Marella.

Triple H vs. The Undertaker.

This is the match that most fans want to see. These two last met at Wrestlemania 10 years ago, when Undertaker was not the supernatural Phenom we see now. Back then, Triple H was the most despised man in the company, and was humbled by the then-American Bad Ass. Undertaker's spotless record at the big dance is on the line, but the pre-match hype has ignored the 2001 meeting, perhaps because the personas then were vastly different. Undertaker just turned 46 the other day. Triple H, already with an office job on the side, preparing for inevitable retirement, will be 42 later this year, and has had several major injuries in the last 10 years. The chase for Ric Flair's record of 16 World titles doesn't matter to him anymore. He's willing to revisit the ruthless side of him that has been dormant for so long, and the no holds barred stip protects both men. Undertaker is returning too early, some say, from shoulder surgery, but after more than 20 years with WWE, he is the very definition of the term, "company man", as much as Triple H also is. However, you just can't fight fate. Smackdown's central theme on this night is destiny, from Alberto Del Rio all the way to Undertaker. Pick--Undertaker.

LayCool (Michelle McCool & Layla El) & Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. John Morrison, Trish Stratus, & Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.

Snooki (Jersey Shore) is being brought in to goose PPV buyrates, after 2 of her castmates have turned up in rival TNA over the last year. Vince McMahon just can't resist the tabloid bait. Like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Stratus, a 7-time women's champ, is there to pump interest in Tough Enough, where she'll be a trainer. Predictably, the press is reporting that current "divas" are complaining about being left out in the cold, but then, most of the heat is also being reserved for McCool, whom some say gets preferential treatment because she's married to the Undertaker. Well, that's been news for a while, kids. Morrison, himself a former Tough Enough winner (2003), is likely being punished for some misadventures outside the ring with real-life love Melina Perez recently, but penance time is over. Ziggler and his storyline lover, the widow Guerrero, rebounded after being fired from Smackdown last month for attempting to overthrow GM Teddy Long. The only friends they have left on the blue brand are, of course, LayCool, whose act is so stale, they may be checked for bread mold when it comes time for their annual physicals. The only reason LayCool continues to exist has already been explained, but their comeuppance is long overdue. The guys will carry the bulk of the action. They have to, but in the end, it'll be Snooki collecting the pin. Pick--Morrison/Stratus/Snooki.

Of course, I could be wrong......

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