Weasels of The Week: DoorMatt, Empty-G, Screwy Louie, and some other GOPer idiot

 "You knew the job was dangerous when you took it!"---Super Chicken to his sidekick, Fred, many times, 1967.

That is directed at Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar, who decided to accompany the GOP's Three Stooges, DoorMatt Gaetz, Screwy Louie Gohmert, and Empty-G (Marjorie Taylor Greene), to a jail earlier this week, hoping to speak with some of the January 6 rioters who are currently in jail. Problem is, the four of them decided to violate protocol and show up unannounced with an unauthorized camera crew, hoping to make a mountain out of the proverbial molehill.

I know it's an insult to the legacy of the legendary comedy team, but the bumbling of these modern day imbeciles is just laughable. Of course, these morons decided to have a presser after being turned away.

Farron Cousins explains:

This is too easy. Four Weasels, with a collective IQ of about 20. Here's a song that fits them perfectly:

Nothing more need be said.

Musical Interlude: The Ballad of The Green Berets (1966)

 A one-hit wonder with a patriotic beat.

Sgt. Barry Saddler scored his only hit in 1966 with "The Ballad of The Green Berets", a huge success, which landed him on The Ed Sullivan Show. The lyrics are shown on the screen in this video.

Sports this 'n' that

 NFL training camps are opening this week, but some teams don't have key players due to the usual reasons (i.e. contract holdouts), such as the Jests, who've spoiled 1st year coach Robert Saleh's 1st camp by being unable to come to terms with 1st round draft pick Zach Wilson (Brigham Young).

Pre-season games start in about two weeks.

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With the baseball trading deadline at 4 pm (ET) today, teams are making deals, separating the haves from the have-nots. To wit:

The 2019 World Series champion Washington Nationals have waved the white flag in the NL East, for example, sending slugger Kyle Schwarber, whom they obtained from the Chicago Cubs in the off-season, to the Boston Red Sox for prospects. Washington also shipped speedy shortstop Trea Turner and ace pitcher Max Scherzer to the defending champion Los Angeles Dodgers, and closer Brad Hand, also acquired in the off-season (Cleveland), heads back to the American League, shipped off to the Toronto Blue Jays. Reliever Daniel Hudson goes to San Diego.

The Seattle Mariners, who lost reliever Hector Santiago for the season (PED suspension), acquired Diego Castillo from Tampa Bay after sending Kendall Graveman to Houston for sidewinder Joe Smith earlier in the week. The Cubs & White Sox made a deal, with reliever Ryan Tepera heading to the southside. The Dodgers also picked up pitcher Danny Duffy from Kansas City.

But the biggest splash, to little surprise, belongs to the Yankees.

First, the Bombers acquired slugging outfielder Joey Gallo from Texas on Wednesday, then picked up 1st baseman Anthony Rizzo from the Cubs, which means Luke "AMF" Voit is on the trading block. What the Yankees need is offense from the left side to complement Giancarlo Stanton, Aaron Judge, and Gary Sanchez from the right side. New York sits in 3rd place in the AL East behind Boston & Tampa Bay. The Yankees also ended Justin Wilson's 2nd tour of duty in the Bronx (and New York in general as he came over from the Mets) by shipping him to Cincinnati earlier in the week, and the Mets could see Wilson as early as tonight.

But will the Mets make a move? We'll see.

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With Simone Biles sitting out (mental health issues), Sunisa Lee stepped up to the plate, and delivered a gold medal for the US in the women's all-arounds in gymnastics on Thursday. There's still a chance that Biles could return for individual disciplines over the next week.

However, that wouldn't be enough to silence conservative media and certain political nannies who are butt-hurt over Biles' decision to protect her team due to her issues. Right wing whiners need something to complain about to avoid discussing the current investigation into the January 6 riot at the Capitol, if but because they know eventually, the investigation will uncover plenty of GOPer suspects with plenty to lose (like, for example, their careers). As a wire service article suggests, some of these critics probably wouldn't know the first thing about gymnastics.

What a surprise.

Where GOPers roam

 They held a runoff election in Texas the other day, and former president Dumb Donald Trump put his endorsement behind Susan Wright. Which amounted to the kiss of death, because Jake Ellsey won the GOP nod.

Photo courtesy of Yahoo!

If the national Repugnant committee hasn't figured out yet that most of the country has Trump Fatigue, they never will. For his part, ol' Pecos Pampers himself is trying to spin this as a win-win for the party. He just doesn't want to admit failure. Can someone see if his old psychologist, Dr. Zigmund Ziff, is still practicing? Old school wrestling fans will get the reference.

Back at home, NY Rep. Elise Stefanik certified her membership in the GOPer Liars' Club Tuesday by trying to pass the buck on blame for the January 6 insurrection, accusing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who's in charge of the committee investigating the incident, of being responsible.

Just tell me something. How much extra do these lawmakers get paid to compromise their personal beliefs to lie to the public?

And, then, there's the sad story of Empty-G (Marjorie Taylor Greene) & DoorMatt Gaetz getting chased away from their own hastily scheduled presser at the Department of Justice by protesters shouting them down. The more those two dimwits are seen together, the more likely it could be, though we don't know for sure, that there's something going on behind the scenes......! Just sayin'.

Musical Interlude: Sleeping Bag (1985)

 ZZ Top returned in 1985 with "Afterburner", the follow-up to "Eliminator", and the red "Eliminator" car returns in the video for "Sleeping Bag". 

The video itself concerns a young couple and a bag of money. John Dye (later of Touched by an Angel) and Heather Langenkamp (Just The Ten of Us, "A Nightmare on Elm Street") co-star.

In memory of bassist-vocalist Dusty Hill, 72, who passed away earlier today. Rest in peace.

A little of this and a little of that

 Olympic gymnastics champion and Uber Eats endorser Simone Biles withdrew from the team finals on Tuesday, and will not compete in the all-arounds tomorrow due to what she has acknowledged are mental health issues.

And like tennis star Naomi Osaka, who was eliminated from the Olympic tournament, representing host Japan, on Tuesday, Biles is being unfairly blasted on social media, mostly by conservative jackasses who don't know any better, and don't care. The volatile political climate in this country is not helping women like Biles & Osaka, who took similar heat after withdrawing from the French Open & Wimbledon before advancing to the 3rd round of the Olympic tournament.

Making matters worse, after losing to Sweden in a pre-Olympic match, the US women's national soccer team was targeted by America's Oldest Baby, because he just had to get a headline, claiming the team lost due to what he calls "wokeism". 

Still, the US leads in the overall medal count heading into today's competition. 

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As hearings into the January 6 riot at the Capitol began on Tuesday, certain conservative whiners tried to paint false pictures of what happened, in a vain effort to discredit witnesses.

Photo courtesy Yahoo!/Getty Images.

Why mistake legitimate human emotion for "crisis acting"? Because the Repugnants don't want the truth to override their brainwashing their low information base. Word is that Fibber McGee's real-life grandson, Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan, could be subpoenaed. So could Dumb Donald Trump. While they're at it, the committee should subpoena Spam Hannity, Laura Inkblot, Tabloid Carlson, and the rest of the Fox Shmooze trash distributors, and hold them accountable.

They should remember that if you cry wolf too long, no one will listen when the wolf does come around.

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WWE CEO/Chairman Vince McMahon has entered into an agreement with Blumhouse to make a movie or docuseries chronicling the 1993-4 steroid trial, in which McMahon and certain associates were accused of distributing anabolic steroids to certain members of the troupe of that era. With McMahon himself set up as an executive producer, that means he could possibly try to rewrite the history of the trial to make himself look good, at a time when he nearly lost everything. The United States of America vs. Vince McMahon (working title) is ticketed for Netflix within the next year or two. McMahon, like Donald Trump, wants to control his narrative so badly, reality is like a foreign country to him.

The balance of power in southern college football is shifting. Again.

 When ye scribe was growing up, the University of Texas played in something called the Southwest Conference, and Oklahoma was a member of the Big 8 (now Big 12) Conference. The annual Red River Showdown between the two rivals, held every October, is one of college football's equivalents to Yankees-Red Sox in baseball.

Since 1996, when the Big 8 became the Big 12, the two schools played under the same roof, the marquee attractions for recruits. However, the Southeastern Conference (SEC) poached away two Big 12 schools in Missouri & Texas A & M after the 2011 season, just in time for the Aggies to introduce who they thought would be a future superstar in Johnny Manziel. However, Manziel was also a man-child who left school too early, and flamed out in the NFL after 2 seasons in Cleveland. The SEC's TV deals with CBS (football on Saturdays) and ESPN/ABC (everything else) made them the kings of college football.

So it surprises few observers outside of the south that the Longhorns and the Sooners would pull up stakes and leave the Big 12, sometime around 2025 when their media deals expire or sooner, for the SEC. Thus, the rich get richer, and the Big 12, which only has 10 teams for football to begin with, is faced with a contraction back to a Big 8 unless an "affiliated" school, such as, say for example Air Force, which otherwise is in the Mountain West, would switch as well.

Problem is, Kansas has initiated discussions with the larger-than-its-numbers Big 10 in the east about jumping, a move that would revive old Big 8 rivalries with Nebraska, which jumped a few years ago, but has been more of a weak sister in the Big 10, a fish out of water.

The motivation, of course, is money, and lots of it. The Big 12, as presently constituted, is dying. The SEC's political dominance is evident come playoff time, and the Big 12 is lucky to get an entry in the playoff, such as Oklahoma. They might as well rename the College Football Playoff as the SEC Invitational, since the league and its media partners are bent on fixing it so that an SEC school wins the playoff every year, with rare exceptions. They don't believe in, for example, Alabama fatigue.

However, the upside to Texas & Oklahoma in the SEC includes reviving old rivalries with Texas A & M and Missouri, as well as challenging Alabama for league supremacy.

The Southwest Conference died because the bigger leagues expanded with the help of TV money. Unless the Big 12 adds another marquee school in their region, perhaps poaching off the Pac-12, they're next to go, and the Power 5 would become the Power 4. You can't say I didn't warn you.

What Might've Been: Chicken Soup (1989)

 After the early success of Roseanne, Marcy Carsey & Tom Werner sold another series to ABC, which was coupled with Roseanne. Unfortunately, Chicken Soup lost a ton of viewers from its lead-in, and was gone before the holidays.

Carsey & Werner teamed with veteran producers Saul Turtletaub & Bernie Orenstein for this short-lived series, a star vehicle for comic Jackie Mason, paired with Lynn Redgrave (fresh from House Calls). Those lost viewers, coupled with some incendiary remarks Mason made about the New York City mayoral election, caused the show's demise.

Mason, who passed away over the weekend at 93, became even more involved in politics in later years as a supporter of Donald Trump.

No episodes are available, so we have this sample intro:

No rating.

Germany changes its women's gymnastics uniforms. So why are they in 9th place?

 In the first Olympiad since the Larry Nassar scandal broke here in the US, it is Germany that has decided to combat the stereotypical sexualization of female gymnasts. 

Elisabeth Seitz. Photo courtesy of Getty Images/Google.

The women's gymnastics team have swapped the traditional leotards for bodysuits, or, unitards, that extend down to the ankles. You'd think the US team would've done that, too, but, nope. Team USA is sticking with the leotards, for now, anyway, and they sit in 2d place after qualifying rounds. The Germans? 9th place.

SAY WHAT?

It would seem that despite the progressive decision by the Germans to break the stereotype, despite the talent on the team, the judges might not see it that way. Yet. The new unitards are meant to be more comfortable to wear, perhaps allowing some extra freedom of movement. Remember, too, that the men have worn more comfortable uniforms, including loose fitting uniform pants, for forever.

I think part of the reason the Americans haven't yet followed suit is because Madison Avenue doesn't want them to. Former Olympian McKayla Maroney is in a commercial for GEICO. Current superstar Simone Biles has done ads for Uber Eats with one of the guys from the rebooted Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Advertising agencies have their own stereotypes that they are less willing to break. In other words, there's a different form of conditioning that has to be broken.

Gold medals=money. We promote our heroes, then exploit them. Instead of truth, justice, and the American way, as promoted in the TV version of The Adventures of Superman in the 50's, promoters and advertisers see it differently. Promote, exploit, & profit. That, to them, is the American Way.

Watch. Next, they'll try to revamp women's swimsuits......!

On The Air: Jupiter's Legacy (2021)

 Mark Millar successfully transitioned his Image comics series, Kick-Ass & The Secret Service (as the "Kingsmen" movie series) to films. Adapting his Jupiter's series of comics miniseries, on the other hand, was less successful on the first try.

Jupiter's Legacy, which bowed on Netflix in May, was quickly cancelled, and the streaming service quickly pivoted to announce they had other plans for the series rather than renew it for a 2nd season. Well, at least it's a little more positive fate than what Swamp Thing got from DC Universe several months back.

Anyway, Millar's take on generational superheroes is far more violent and graphic than any Marvel or DC adaptation. Josh Duhamel, Leslie Bibb, & Matt Lanter are among the stars. Ex-wrestlers Tyler Mane (Sabretooth in the X-Men movies) and Robert Maillet are seen in the course of this 8 episode series. Following is the trailer.

The tension between parents and super-offspring comes off as Superman & Lois on steroids.

Rating: B.

A little of this and a little of that

In the wake of the Cleveland Indians' decision to change the team nickname to Guardians, beginning with the 2022 season, a petition has been circulating in and around Atlanta, asking the Braves to do the same.

Dr. Charles Shepard, a Marietta native, believes the best move would be to honor Hall of Famer Henry Aaron, who passed away during last offseason, and rechristen the Braves as the Hammers.

Sorry, but "Atlanta Hammers" doesn't swim around in the brain so easily. Nice try. Personally, given how dominant Atlanta was in the 90's and early '00's, winning several consecutive division titles, I'd say "Champions" would be a more fitting name, considering the team is the current, defending NL East champion, and would need to mount a major comeback to overtake the Mets and win their 4th straight division title.

On the other hand, given the aviary theme to Atlanta's other sports teams (Hawks, Falcons), maybe Condors would do? Stay tuned.

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10 years ago, Troy elected a political novice in college professor Lou Rosamillia as Mayor, swapping out his position as a county legislator to do so. Rosamillia served one term, and walked away from politics, heeding the advice of his Christian faith.

Five months ago, blogger and WHAZ personality Alicia Purdy announced her candidacy for Mayor of Albany, knowing full well she's fighting an uphill battle to break the Democratic vice grip on City Hall.

Interviewed this morning on Albany Street, a public affairs program airing on WROW, Purdy, 43, admitted she does take COVID seriously, and is more interested in civic affairs, rather than push the national GOP agenda. The only topic ye scribe objected to was Purdy stating that current police chief Eric Hawkins, who took his name out of consideration for a similar post in Toledo, Ohio last month, would likely be gone once she is sworn in, assuming, of course, she upsets current Mayor Kathy Sheehan. Good luck with that. Targeting Hawkins, the city's 1st African-American police chief, is a bad look, given the current racial tensions simmering in the city. Granted, the gun violence in the city this year is troubling---a Lark St. eatery was shut down briefly yesterday due to a Friday shooting---, but scapegoating Hawkins isn't the answer. 

Unfortunately, the chances of Purdy winning aren't that great. You'd have a better chance at an instant lottery ticket.

Sports this 'n' that

 Sometimes, peer pressure can be a good thing, if applied correctly.

The Buffalo Bills are hoping that's the case as training camp opens next week.

Receiver Cole Beasley has been very anti-vaccine when it comes to COVID-19. However, fellow receivers Stefon Diggs & Emmanuel Sanders are trying to convince him to get over himself and take the vaccine before camp opens. The NFL has made it clear that any COVID outbreaks during the 2021 season will result in team forfeitures, and, possibly, additional penalties.

Beasley, who came over from Dallas a couple of years back, just doesn't get it. Now is not the time to be selfish. And that goes for other NFL players who have the same mentality. Stay tuned.

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A Minnesota race track announcer, filling in at a stock car track in Iowa, was booted from the latter gig for a racist rant prior to a recent program. His primary employers in Minnesota are planning to salute him when he returns to their track.

The ignorance of these idiots is just ridiculous. Nothing like this ever happens at Lebanon Valley.

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As part of the opening ceremonies at the Olympics in Tokyo, the People's Movie Star, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, whose next film, "Jungle Cruise", opens next week, made a video saluting the competitors.

Need we add the games are airing on NBC, home of Young Rock?

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While the Washington "Football Team" is delaying a formal name change until next year, the Cleveland Indians didn't waste much time making a change.

Come 2022, the team will be known as the Cleveland Guardians. The team rolled out a press conference, complete with a video, narrated by 2-time Oscar winner Tom Hanks, explaining the decision.

Photo courtesy of Yahoo!

The name refers to the city's rich history, but there are some folks who are a little salty over the decision. Including a certain geriatric brat.....

"WAAAAHHH! They shouldn't change it! WAAAAHHH!"

America's Oldest Baby just had to complain so he could make another headline.

Conversely, some folks on social media made references to the "Guardians of The Galaxy" movie series, including director James Gunn, whose next film, "The Suicide Squad", opens in two weeks.

Your move, Daniel Snyder.

Dunce Cap Award: Marjorie Taylor Greene

 This is just too easy.

Certain members of the Repugnant Party insist on blaming China for the COVID-19 pandemic, when there is little or no evidence to support such claims. It was the Trump administration's intentional mishandling of the pandemic that cost Dumb Donald his re-election, and if he wanted credit for Operation Warp Speed, well, sorry, it was too little, too late in the game, bubbelah. America had already made its decision.

That brings us to Empty-G, aka Georgia peach-brain Marjorie Taylor Greene, who went on Steve Bannon's podcast, and, like the political Dumb Dora she is, she ranted that all Chinese, either native Chinese or Chinese-Americans, should be deported from the US.

Photo courtesy Getty Images/Yahoo!

In this country, we're supposed to be ending racism & xenophobia, not enabling it, Dumb Dora. Yet, here you are, proving once again that your political IQ is about -10000 with this garbage. Sure, go ahead, let the whole world know you're a xenophobic, racist airhead who's making stupid remarks like this to deflect from the fact, as reported by Farron Cousins on Friday, that you and your BFF, DoorMatt Gaetz, are bleeding money on your self-serving "Save America First" tour, which is drawing more crickets than cash. You're going to places where people can't vote for you (i.e. California), and continuing to be a national embarrassment to women everywhere. Certain groups have disowned you and Lauren Bow-Wow of Colorado because between the two of you, there's only a split Milk-Bone biscuit for your brain cells.

That being said, Empty-G, we've got a little something for you:

I think it'll look good on you.

Here there be Weasels

 This week's Weasels are repeat offenders who are so afraid of litigation against them, such that they'll do anything to take attention away from their legal troubles.

First, there's conspiracy theorist-podcaster Alex Jones.

Already on the hook for fines in Texas for lying about the Sandy Hook massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, Jones had his legal beagles petition to have former Secretary of State and Senator Hillary Clinton deposed in a case in Connecticut, claiming she had somehow funded the lawsuits against Jones.

Photo mashup courtesy Getty Images & Daily Beast.

Let's cut right through the BS, shall we? There is little or no evidence to prove that Clinton had anything to do with the litigation already facing Jones, an unrepentant piece of human trash that apparently isn't willing to pony up the cheddar to pay his fines. I'd love to see this jackal strapped to a lie detector. On national television, so all of America can see what kind of lying dirtbag he really is.

And, then, there is Prince Pillow himself, Mike Lindell.

He continues to claim that Donald Trump won the 2020 election, claiming that Trump had 80 million votes, but he has not a shred of evidence to support his fever dream of a scam claim.

However, he is offering people a chance to prove him wrong, but there's a catch, making this another scam.

Lindell is hosting a cyber-conference next month in South Dakota. He's offering $5 million to anyone who can debunk his false claims. Problem here, though, is that you have to attend the conference to collect the money, which likely isn't going to happen. You try debunking him, and he'll double & triple down on the lies, but if you have, say, some Federal agents on the trip, stick a fork in him. He's done. Because otherwise, why would Lindell risk everything on an insane quest to perpetuate a lie that's nearly 9 months old? He won't disclose the evidence he claims he has, and claims he'll reveal at the conference. Yeah, right.

May some rabid sheep from Serta haunt your dreams from now on, Prince Pillow.

And, as for Alex Jones, STFU, pay the money, and go away. 

Enjoy the Weasel ears, losers.

Videos of Summer: Olympia (1984)

 A year after peaking at #4 on the Hot 100 and topping the Adult Contemporary chart with "Never Gonna Let You Go", Sergio Mendes returned with the theme to the Los Angeles Summer Olympics. Joe Pizzulo, who sang lead on "Never", also returns to sing "Olympia":

With the Olympics officially underway in Tokyo, I thought this might be appropriate music.

Forgotten TV: The Rousters (1983)

 Stephen J. Cannell, with The A-Team entering its 2nd season on NBC, sold another series with most of the same production crew, to the network in the fall of 1983. Unfortunately, The Rousters, a comedy-adventure series set at a carnival, was a bust.

The hook had to do with the grandson of Wyatt Earp, also named Wyatt (Chad Everett, ex-Medical Center), who acts as a bouncer for the carnival. Timothy Gibbs, fresh from Father Murphy, played his son. The supporting cast also includes actor-singer Hoyt Axton and a pre-Ernest Jim Varney, who is definitely comedy relief.

Airing on Saturdays, the network hype claimed Rousters would torpedo ABC's Love Boat, but such idle boasting often backfires, and it did here. Ronnie Milsap performs the theme song, while the music otherwise comes from Cannell's go-to composers, Mike Post & Pete Carpenter.

Coming as it did some 20-odd years after another short-lived carnival drama, Frontier Circus, Rousters suffered from the exaggerated hype and a bad time slot.

Here's the pilot movie:

Guest star Fred Dryer, of course, would stick with Cannell, and score with Hunter.

No rating. Just a public service.

Texas GOPers don't want kids to learn about Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony, & Cesar Chavez, and they want kids to think the KKK wasn't morally wrong. Yeah, right!

 If Texas GOPers have their way, children in Texas schools will be, in their warped minds, "shielded" from actual history, such as the following:

*---Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s famous "I Have a Dream" speech, which can be easily accessed online, anyway.

*---Susan B. Anthony and the fight against suffrage, which led to the 19th Amendment.

*---Cesar Chavez, and the plight of migrant workers in California.

*---The truth about the Ku Klux Klan.

BOLLOCKS & BALDERDASH!!!

Why do Texas Repugnants want to do this, anyway? This is taking the fight against "critical race theory" a bit too far. Farron Cousins explains:

What these morons don't realize, or don't care to admit, is that this is denying students the truth about historical events that shaped this country. These fools are threatening to drag the Lone Star State back to the days of the Civil War, or further. Next thing ya know, they'll try to whitewash the Alamo.........

The GOPers don't want the truth about 1/6 known. Their saboteurs won't get very far

 House minority leader Kevin "The Body Snatcher" McCarthy picked five fellow GOPers to be on Nancy Pelosi's January 6 commission. Unfortunately for McCarthy, two of the five have already been rejected.

The real life Fibber McGee, Jim Jordan of Ohio, and "Diamond" Jim Banks of Indiana were bum-rushed, leaving three lesser lights in Kelly Armstrong, Rodney Davis, & Troy Neihls. Of course, McCarthy is pitching a fit, threatening to have the GOPers start their own investigation (yeah, right) if Pelosi doesn't reverse course. McCarthy is an idiot, but I'm willing to bet that if someone did a geneology study, they'd find he'd be related to Joseph McCarthy, he of the Communist witch hunts of the 50's.

In other words, McCarthy, acting as a consigliore for Citizen Pampers, wants to ensure the GOPers control the narrative. That's not going to happen, not with so much video evidence available for use. And with Liz Cheney already on the committee, the GOPers are in deep trouble anyway if they try to obfuscate the facts.

I think they'll be opening a sanitarium just for the Repugnants real soon.

Remember Arthur Treacher's Fish & Chips restaurants? (1979)

 Arthur Treacher's Fish & Chips, named for the British actor who, at the time the chain launched in 1969, was Merv Griffin's announcer/sidekick after a movie career that saw him typecast as a butler, often with Shirley Temple, is down to one location in Ohio, more than 50 years after its founding.

Once upon a time, my folks decided to try the brand out when it had a location in the home town. The last Arthur Treacher's in the 518 was linked up with Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs at Colonie Center a few years ago. One wishes the chain would expand anew, amidst all the hamburger chains trying to outdo each other.

Here's a sample commercial for the chain from 1979. Danny Dark (Super Friends), long time Keebler announcer, has those chores here.

Why does Fox Shmooze insist on lying to the public about COVID? It's all about the dolla-dolla-bill, y'all

 While reality is finally starting to settle in at Fox Shmooze, with Sean Hannity, John Roberts, & Steve Doocy, among others, encouraging viewers to get vaccinated for COVID-19, and, in Hannity's case, do some research to allay the fears that have been stoked by colleagues such as Laura Inkblot and Tabloid Carlson, Carlson is swimming in the same direction as he has, misleading his core audience by asking questions the way a six year old would.

Former Fox medical expert Carl Cameron went on CNN's New Day to explain why Tabloid takes the tack he does, and the answer, really, shouldn't be a surprise (of course, I actually spoiled it in the subject box).

Ratings. Ad revenues. Tabloid knows his "opinions" are protected speech, but he's about as credible as a blade of dead grass, and yet, the Legion of The Brainwashed still listens to him.

But when Hannity, whose program follows Tabloid's, decides to toss aside the BS, and plead with his audience to "take the shot", as Doocy put it (his brother's a moron, but hey), would Tabloid actually pay attention? You decide.

A bitter form of deja vu, but with a happier ending

 As you know by now, the Mets got off to a terrible start Sunday, giving up six runs to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Three runs scored on a freak play when Mets starter Taijuan Walker misplayed a squibbler down the 3rd base line, ruled fair by the plate umpire. The Mets thought the ball went foul, and manager Luis Rojas went all wacky-doo before getting tossed.

Rojas has been suspended for tonight's & tomorrow's games at Cincinnati. The Mets recovered from their early faux pas, and won the game, 7-6.

32 years ago, they weren't quite so lucky vs. Atlanta, and yesterday's shenanigans brought back some bad memories for Mets fans. In 1990, there was a similar play vs. Atlanta.

The Braves won the game that night, 7-4, but David Cone's gaffe, arguing with 1st base umpire Charlie Williams instead of calling time out, was the turning point in the game. At least yesterday, today's Mets could breathe a sigh of relief when it was over.

If you get butt-hurt, sue. It's the Repugnant Way in 2021

 By now, I'm sure you've heard that disgraced ex-Fox Shmooze yakker Bill O'Reilly is planning to go on a speaking tour with America's Oldest Baby, Donald Trump, starting this winter.

We're not even five months away from the start of the tour, and O'Reilly is threatening to sue media outlets such as Politico for reporting that ticket sales are not what he & Citizen Pampers claim it is. Depending on which old fart you listen to, they claim to have sold anywhere from $5-7 million in tickets. Politico says no, you haven't.

Farron Cousins explains:

Imagine if Beavis & Butt-Head were actually real people, grew up, and registered as Repugnants. There ya go.

And while we're on the subject of GOPer litigation, DoorMatt Gaetz is threatening to do the same, playing the victim card because he & Empty-G were denied three times to hold indoor rallies in Southern California, which is famous for its traditional smog. They don't need any additional artificial smog coming from those two morons.

None of those lawsuits will get very far. Trust me.

Baseball this 'n' that

 The Yankees finally snapped a season-long losing streak vs. the Boston Red Sox Saturday night, winning, 3-1, in a game shortened to six innings due to a driving rainstorm.

In the pivotal, and what would be the final, inning, Gary Sanchez hit a 2 run homer that was challenged by the Red Sox due to possible fan interference, as a Yankee fan reached out, and cradled the ball in his arms. However, the umpires determined there wasn't enough evidence to show that the fan had gone too far over the boundary between the bleachers and the field to warrant reversing the call. The next batter, Gleyber Torres, also homered.

With the game called after six, Gerrit Cole picks up his 2nd straight complete game, but in all reality, they should've stopped the game much sooner due to the heavy rain. Why didn't they? Ratings. The ancient rivalry means big bucks to MLB's media partners, in this case, Fox. Tonight's game is scheduled for ESPN at 7 pm (ET).

But, there was some additional, unnecessary drama between the raindrops. Another fan, this one a total idiot, threw a ball at Boston outfielder Alex Verdugo, prompting manager Alex Cora to pull his team off the field. Rivalry's one thing, but this is just plain stupid.

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Just when it looked like the Mets had snapped out of an offensive funk to start the 2nd half, they blew another game late against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

For the 2nd time in a week, the bullpen melted down. Seth Lugo couldn't get out of the 8th inning, as the Bucs began another comeback. With 2 out and the bases loaded against Edwin Diaz in the 9th, Jacob Stallings sent everyone home happy with a grand slam that flew out of the reach of outfielder Kevin Pillar, offsetting two homers by J. D. Davis. Diaz suffered his 2nd straight blown save & loss.

As of now, however, only the Atlanta Braves have benefited, shutting out Tampa Bay, 9-0, and gaining a game on the Mets. That's because the Miami-Philadelphia game was suspended in the 10th inning due to rain, and, in Washington, the Padres-Nationals game was also suspended, but for a different reason.

Photo courtesy of Yahoo!

A drive-by shooting took place outside of Nationals Park, which had fans scrambling for cover, thinking there was an active shooter in the ballpark. Some sought shelter in the dugouts as the teams retreated to their clubhouses.

It's not the first time there's been an active shooter incident in and around Nationals Park. There was one in 2019, but I don't think the Nats had a game that night.

Suppose you schedule a rally, and no one wants to host?

 California, like much of the West Coast, is being besieged with wildfires, just as they usually do this time of year. To that end, they don't want a two-person human nuclear storm hitting the Los Angeles area.

Empty-G (Marjorie Taylor Greene) and DoorMatt Gaetz planned on bringing their speaking tour to Southern California, but three venues in two weeks, including two in the last 24 hours, have decided not to take a chance on security risks, and cancelled the dimwitted duo and their brand of poisoned speech.

Just so you know this is legitimate, here is a message from an official in Anaheim.

AMEN!

A more appropriate tour stop would be at a mental institution for Greene & Gaetz, the latter of whom can spend the time listening to Britney Spears albums. As long as he's strapped down.

Musical Interlude: Just a Friend (1989)

 Biz Markie's "Just a Friend" was in heavy rotation on MTV in the winter & spring of 1989-90. "The Clown Prince of Hip-Hop" showed off his talent for comedy and piano playing in the clip, including reaching for a powdered wig to impersonate Mozart. Wack.

If I referred to a girlfriend as "Bla-bla-bla", I wouldn't get anywhere.

In memory of Biz, 57, who passed away Friday from complications from Type-2 Diabetes.

Classic TV: A Dickensian Twist in Colonial Times (Daniel Boone, 1968)

 From season 5 of Daniel Boone:

Israel (Darby Hinton) falls in with a gang of thieves led by a Colonial-era Fagin (Vincent Price), while Rebecca (Patricia Blair, ex-The Rifleman) & Daniel (Fess Parker) try to convince Rebecca's uncle (J. Pat O'Malley) to visit them in Boonesborough. Elena Verdugo, a few months before Marcus Welby, MD, and Butch Patrick (ex-The Munsters) also guest star.

Charles Dickens would've been proud.

Rating: A-.

A little of this and a little of that

 Word is getting out now that Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB Tom Brady played the 2020 season with a torn MCL in his knee, and waited until after the Super Bowl to have surgery. So now we're supposed to cheer for his brave, season-long effort?

It's an ego thing. Watch. While the Bucs will be prohibitive favorites to repeat, they won't.

By the way, Brady may want to avoid another made-for-TV golf special, after he & Phil Mickelson were beaten last month by Aaron Rodgers & Bryson DeChambeau. Rodgers extracted a little bit of payback for losing the NFC title game.

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DoorMatt Gaetz must be a Britney Spears fan, the kind the singer doesn't need.

The Florida Congressional pervert has thrown his support behind Spears, as we've previously reported, but all he did in insulting Britney's father, James, was throw gasoline on the fire.

File photo courtesy of Getty Images & Yahoo!

I'm not going to repeat what he called the elder Spears, but DoorMatt is better served keeping quiet. In case he doesn't know, Brit's already spoken for, so if he's looking for a date, he's SOL.

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Thursday, the Yankees & Red Sox were supposed to have the baseball theatre all to themselves in the Bronx.

Unfortunately, the Yankees have a COVID problem, as several players, allegedly including All-Star Aaron Judge, are in COVID protocols, forcing a postponement of Thursday's game, and likely also tonight's game. That should be a message to the players who've still not gotten vaccinated. Stop vexing on the vaccine, and take the shot(s).

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About the only thing ye scribe can agree with NY Post gadfly Phil Mushnick on is how Screamin' A. Cosell (Stephen A. Smith) can get away with the stupid things he's said, as we've documented earlier this week, regarding Angels All-Star Shohei Ohtani. ESPN pays him a chunk of cheddar to be an idiot, just as Fox Shmooze pays morons like the Doocy brothers, Tabloid Carlson, Laura Inkblot, Spam Hannity, et al, to lie to the public.

I think the reason Screamin' A. doesn't get punished enough is because he'd turn on his bosses on the turn of a dime and play the victim, playing the race card. Yeah, sure. Like that'll work. NOT!

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Richard Sherman's career may be over.

The veteran defensive back, who has been with Seattle & San Francisco, was picked up the other day on a variety of charges, including burglary and domestic abuse. If the NFL takes an aggressive tack on the case, Sherman won't be playing this fall. We'll just have to stay tuned.

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COVID has also hit the Olympic basketball team. 

With the Tokyo games set to start in a week's time, Bradley Beal was cut after being placed in the protocols earlier this week. There are also calls to cancel the games for the 2nd straight year because of the Delta variant of COVID hitting Japan.

The medical drama that never ends, friends.

Musical Interlude: You Can Do Magic (1982)

 By the early 80's, the pop group America had changed labels from Warner Bros. to Capitol. 1982's "View From The Ground" was their 3rd album for Capitol, and after two previous records had flopped domestically, "View" produced the band's first hit in six years.

"You Can Do Magic" got a ton of airplay on the radio, but not as much on MTV. What you might not know was the personnel that were in the studio with Gerry Beckley & Dewey Bunnell for the album:

Timothy B. Schmidt (Eagles).

Christopher Cross.

Jeff & Steve Porcaro (Toto).

Actor-singer-songwriter Bill Mumy, who co-wrote two songs and played guitar. At the time, Mumy had been in Barnes & Barnes.

Russ Ballard, who would produce the next couple of albums in addition to tracks on this record.

That just scratches the surface.

None of those guests appear in the video for "Magic":

Dan Peek had left the group to go solo as a contemporary Christian artist in the late 70s, and passed away 10 years ago, ending any chance of a full reunion.

Weasel of The Week: Tucker Carlson

 Just when you think Tucker "Tabloid" Carlson couldn't sink any lower, he did.

The Fox Shmooze garbage salesman ranted on the air the other night about a 1st grade teacher, a Mrs. Raymond, whom he says helped make him what he is today. According to Farron Cousins, though, Mrs. Raymond tells a different side of the story to the Washington Post:

So what was it, really, that turned Carlson into a opinion host dealing in tall tales and untruths that belong in the pages of the National Enquirer? I guess we'll never know. Mrs. Raymond says she never cried at her desk, contrary to what Tabloid claimed. She never brought politics into the classroom. Of course not. 1st graders wouldn't know anything about politics at that age anyway.

I've often used a line attributed to one of my senior year teachers, I actually forget which one, who took an assessment of her class on a bad day, and would declare that "stupidity runs rampant". That certainly applies to Carlson and his Fox Shmooze colleagues, who deal in misinformation purposely to keep their base ignorant.

For attempting to throw an innocent 1st grade teacher under the bus as a scapegoat for his present day attitude, Carlson picks up another set of Weasel ears. They'd certainly fit.

Musical Interlude: Here Comes My Baby (1999)

 The Mavericks just missed the top 40 on the country chart in 1999 with their cover of the Cat Stevens-penned "Here Comes My Baby", which Stevens wrote & recorded in the winter of 1967. Stevens and the Tremeloes each released the song a month apart.

Check the choreography of the dancers for a homage to June Taylor, Jackie Gleason's long-time choreographer.

They say there's no honor among thieves. There's no honor among deranged lawyers, either

 A virtual hearing was held on Monday in Michigan involving pro-Trump ambulance chasers Looney Lin Woodchips and Silly Sidney Powell, in which each tried to throw the other under the bus.

Both are facing possible sanctions in Michigan for pushing false claims of election fraud on behalf of America's Oldest Baby, and, if they do get sanctioned, there's the very real possibility of disbarment in Michigan, as well as in Georgia and other states.

Between the two of them, Woodchips and Powell have a tray of ice cubes where their brain cells should be, and would be better served officially retiring from practicing law before their careers and reputations are permanently destroyed, if they weren't already.

Farron Cousins explains:

I wouldn't trust those two to actually play pinochle honestly. Would you?

Musical Interlude: I'm Easy (1975)

 Keith Carradine earned an Oscar with his ballad from 1975's "Nashville". "I'm Easy" gets plenty of airplay on oldies & adult contemporary radio channels to this day.

YouTube commentators have compared Carradine to Cat Stevens and the late Jim Croce. Judge for yourselves.

A little of this and a little of that

 The hype surrounding this year's Home Run Derby had to do with Angels pitcher/DH Shohei Ohtani, the major league home run leader with 33 round-trippers. The bracketing had Ohtani set up to face defending champion Pete Alonso of the Mets in the semi-finals.

The thin air in Denver certainly worked in Alonso's favor, but not Ohtani's. Alonso mopped the floor with Kansas City catcher Salvatore Perez in the first round, as the two obliterated the event record books. However, Ohtani couldn't keep his end of the deal, and was upset by Washington's Juan Soto in double overtime. They're now claiming Ohtani was "exhausted" upon arriving in Denver. And he's the AL starting pitcher AND DH tonight!

Alonso dismissed Soto in the semi-finals, and that led to a matchup in the finals with the feel good story of the tournament, Baltimore's Trey Mancini, a recent cancer survivor. Mancini had eliminated Oakland's Matt Olson and host Colorado's Trevor Story to get to the final. Alonso came from behind to claim his 2nd straight Derby trophy and a $1,000,000 grand prize.

Steve Cohen, show him the money!

Photo courtesy of Yahoo!

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ESPN's resident idiot savant, Screamin' A. Cosell (Stephen A. Smith), might have accidentally sabotaged Ohtani's chances with an unhinged rant on First Take where he claimed Ohtani couldn't be the face of Major League Baseball because of the language barrier.

By the end of Monday, Screamin' A was eating crow, and apologized for his insensitive remarks, promising a lengthier mea culpa on this morning's First Take. Coincidentally, the apology came after Ohtani was eliminated from the Home Run Derby. Hmmmmm. At least, Smith is apologizing, but, just the same, the bloviator is ESPN's answer to Tabloid Carlson. You know what they say about birds of a feather......!

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And speaking of the unhinged........!

GOPers are trying to paint the January 6 riot at the Capitol as anything other than violent, and casting Ashli Babbitt, an Air Force veteran who bought into the QAnon garbage, as a martyr after she was shot by a Capitol officer. Citizen Pampers wants to know who the shooter was, even though the officer was cleared of any and all charges.

Disgraced barrister Rudy Goofiani, who really needs to stay away from cameras for the rest of his life, went on Newsmax on Monday, and tried to whitewash the riot. Like Citizen Pampers, Goofiani had no evidence to support any claims that the Democrats had anything to do with Babbitt's death.

Spare me.

And at the CPAC convention over the weekend, a right wing group handed out cards that outlined a 7 point plan to reinstate Citizen Pampers to the presidency. Unfortunately, that plot has more holes than a cake of Swiss cheese. DoorMatt Gaetz has said recently he would nominate Pampers as the next Speaker of the House if the Repugnants retake control of the House in 2022. I don't think so. Citizen Pampers and his family of swine will be facing legal problems from now until, oh, I don't know, 2024?

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Death has been busy lately.

First, former San Francisco 49ers tight end Greg Clark passed away near the end of last week at 49.

Then, there was a trifecta on Monday.

Former Denver Broncos offensive line coach Alex Gibbs, 80, passed away after an illness.

Actor Charlie Robinson, best known for his role on Night Court in the 80's, passed away at 75.

College football hero-turned-wrestler Paul Orndorff, 71, passed away due to complications from dementia. Orndorff was a cancer survivor a decade ago. We have more on him over at Saturday Morning Archives.

Rest in peace, one and all.

Dunce Cap Award: Mike Lindell

 If there wasn't already enough proof that MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell either fell off the wagon, or got hold of some of Dumb Donald II's secret cocaine stash, Lindell now claims that people being vaccinated for COVID-19 are getting the Biblical mark of the beast from The Book of Revelation. No, they're not, dumbass.

Farron Cousins explains:

Anyone that's ever studied Revelation knows what the mark of the beast is, and it has nothing to do with vaccines. Of course, Whinedell is tying this to his earlier false declaration of former president Donald Trump being reinstated come Friday the 13th next month. Yeah, sure, tell us another tall tale.

There's no legal precedent that allows for Citizen Pampers to return to the White House after he was beaten like a rented goalie last November at the polls (apologies to Keith Olbermann). Whinedell's been too long away from a Bible to remember what actually happens in Revelation.

They say if you lie with dogs, you're bound to get fleas. If that dog is Donald Trump, you're bound to get one of these, too:

Enough said.

Sports this 'n' that

 Miami's Pablo Lopez made history in Sunday's win over Atlanta.

Lopez struck out the entire Braves lineup over the first three innings. However, any hope of a no-hitter ended in the 4th inning as Atlanta began to mount a comeback. It would've really been news if Lopez had broken Hall of Famer Tom Seaver's record of 10 straight K's, set in 1970 vs. San Diego.

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Speaking of the Mets, which we weren't, they blew an early 5-0 lead, as the Pittsburgh bullpen shut them down, leading to the Pirates salvaging a split of their four game weekend series, 6-5. Edwin Diaz suffered his 2nd blown save of the season and took the loss. 

The two teams will meet again starting Friday in Pittsburgh. 

In other Mets news, the team selected Vanderbilt pitcher Kumar Rocker with their first round pick in the MLB Entry Draft Sunday night. Now, I'd not be surprised if there's some folks who are a little salty over the fact that Rocker's teammate, Jack Leiter (Al's son), was gone before the Mets' pick came up.

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The Euro 2020 soccer tournament, delayed a year because of COVID, wrapped up Sunday, with Italy taking on England.  The Italians won, but, unfortunately for England, the loss also brought some social media blowback, as the bigots came out after three African-British players who'd failed during the penalty kick shootout. England's Football Association condemned the racially charged hate-mail, if you will, and rightfully so. To the uninitiated, we're probably dealing with some drunken clowns who'd bet heavily on the game, and lost their alcohol budgets.

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WWE had a chance to make a statement of a different kind last week after Jimmy Uso (real name: Jonathan Fatu) was popped for his 2nd DUI in three years, but because he is central, along with twin brother Jey, to cousin Roman Reigns' current story arc, WWE chose not to discipline him right away. A wellness suspension is still likely, pending the outcome of the case.

However, Naomi (Trinity Fatu), Jimmy's wife, had to deactivate her Twitter account because of trolls getting on her case, even going so far as to call for her husband's termination from WWE. Reportedly, there were some racist slurs and remarks involved, too.

Haters need to hate, but they often do so without legitimate context.

In Theatres: Black Widow (2021)

 There are folks who are still a little salty over Marvel Studios' decision to kill off Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), in "Avengers: Endgame" 2 years ago. "Black Widow" is equal parts a biography of the fan favorite superspy and a flashback of events leading up to "Endgame".

As comics fans know, there is another Black Widow, Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh). The story in the movie purports that the two future Widows were part of a manufactured family with Russian hero Red Guardian (David Harbour), who, years later, is disgraced. The plot also purports that the notorious Red Room, which trains Widows, has far more sinister intentions in mind.

Harbour chews up the scenery as Alexi, aka the Guardian, such that you could've gotten a comedian to play the part, and get the same result. The post-credits scene sets up a future Marvel series on Disney+ involving Yelena.

Check the trailer:

Based on that post-credits teaser, I've a feeling we may see the Thunderbolts or Dark Avengers in the MCU in due course.

Rating: A-.

Arizona GOPers are still recounting. It's over. Get over yourselves!!!

 It's been 2 1/2 months since the Florida-based Cyber Ninjas began auditing ballots from the 2020 election, despite having zero experience in this task. Separate from this, Arizona GOPers have decided to recount the ballots again, not the votes this time, just the ballots, all because, 8 months and change later, they're still trying to find some non-existent fraud that Citizen Pampers claims cost him the state. The taxpayers have washed their hands of this whole imbroglio, but the GOPers stupidly slog on.

Farron Cousins explains:

Maybe country singer Jamie O'Neal was right when she sang, "There is no Arizona" some years back. The state now is at the mercy of these brain dead GOPers trying to appease a 75 year old man-baby. We reached out to a representative for comment:

"No comment."

What a surprise.

President Biden dumps a Trump-appointee in charge of social security. You can guess the response

 On Friday, President Joe Biden ordered the termination of Andrew Saul as the commissioner of the Social Security Administration after Saul had declined a request to resign from the position. His deputy had similarly been asked to step down, and quietly complied.

It's understandable that Biden wants to put his own people in place, as is common when control of the White House shifts back & forth between the Democratic Party and the GOPers. A Supreme Court ruling gives Biden that authority to make the change, but Saul, appointed by then-president Donald Trump in 2019, is refusing to leave, claiming he is "term-protected".

Photo courtesy of Yahoo!

Saul, obviously, didn't get the memo, but the reports of his undermining social security for seniors has a familiar stink to it. Saul, then, is just like Postmaster General Louis DeJoyless, who was similarly tasked last year with wrecking the postal service to appease America's Oldest Baby and help him win re-election by making absentee & general mail-in votes late.

Saul's term was to end in 2025, but because of what has been reported about his corrupting of social security, likely in the same capacity as DeJoyless, has proven costly. And, if this is any barometer, if I'm DeJoyless, I'd start looking over my shoulder, because I think changes will be made that will allow for him to be next to go.

You know what they say. You reap what you sow.

On The Shelf: A new Justice League animated book hits the shelves

 Justice League Unlimited ended its run on Cartoon Network nearly 20 years ago. In fact, this year marks the 20th anniversary of the series, when it was simply titled, Justice League.

DC, seeing how well Batman: The Adventures Continue did last year, decided to take the next step with a new miniseries based on JLU.

Justice League Infinity is co-written by veteran TV & comics writer J. Marc DeMatteis, who was a principal writer on the show, and producer James Tucker. Artist Ethen Beavers is making his DC debut, but worked on the series as a artist at WB.

The plot is simple. While the Martian Manhunter has taken leave of the League after the series' conclusion, he has set out on a journey to learn more about Earth life. Meanwhile, Amazo, the android programmed with the powers of the League, is on a quest of his own, to seek & discover his true purpose. Now, Amazo was repackaged for television as a golden construct with red eyes and no nose or mouth. He was treated as more of a sympathetic character in his appearances on JLU, and that continues here.

While the League celebrates the birthday of the Flash (Wally West), the party is disrupted by warring factions from Apokolips. See, when JLU ended, Darkseid was killed off, though he remains a major player in main line DC continuity. Something tells me ol' crater-face will return before this is all over.

Rating: A-.

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With season 2 of Stargirl to begin next month on CW & HBO Max, DC is whetting readers' appetites by bringing Stargirl to the printed page.

Stargirl Spring Break Special, written by series creator (and co-executive producer) Geoff Johns, sets the stage for a new Stargirl solo series, due later this year, and a possible revival of the Justice Society. If you can get past the artwork of Todd Nauck, you're fine. His cartoony style is no longer fitting.

Rating: B.

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80's hero He-Man will return in a new animated series on Netflix later this month, which we've discussed over at Saturday Morning Archives. After a recent crossover miniseries with DC's Injustice line, the Masters of The Universe are moving to Dark Horse for a 4 issue miniseries. Filmmaker Kevin Smith, who is curating the new cartoon, is also co-writing the book. Tim Sheridan, a DCAU veteran who's worked on a number of movies for WB, and made his solo writing debut on Teen Titans Academy, is also on board. Sheridan has gotten mixed reviews for TTA, largely because he is not an experienced comics writer. Movies are a completely different animal, as he's found out.

Anyway, Smith, Sheridan, & company are putting some meat into the backstory surrounding He-Man and his alter-ego, Prince Adam of Eternia. Mike Young tried that nearly 20 years ago, but Cartoon Network torpedoed his series without proper closure. Seems as though the 1990 series helmed by Jean Chalopin has been ret-conned out, which is good. Skeletor looks scarier than ever, and that says something.

This and the TV show should be fun.

Rating: A-.

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Other stuff: Marvel Comics is playing with fire again, this time deciding to kill off Doctor Strange in a miniseries debuting in September. Why do that when there's a movie coming out? Money, of course. Marvel knows their audience are mostly marks.......Aquaman's arch-enemy, Black Manta, and his son, the new Aquaman (formerly Aqualad), will each have their own miniseries from DC, out in September, while the original Sea King teams with Green Arrow for a 6-issue miniseries, set to debut in October. Let's put it this way. Manta's finally getting some respect & recognition after more than 50 years.......For those who haven't seen Disney+'s WandaVision, be prepared for a shock, as Marvel is also killing off the Scarlet Witch pro tempore so that her supposed father (they're not sure from one year to the next), Magneto, can headline a miniseries. Wanda Maximoff also figures into the Doctor Strange mini, so, yeah, Marvel's soaking the marks worse than anyone.......Turns out that the Shield 1-off from Archie, which we reviewed last week, might not get any continuation. Rob Liefeld quit the project over retailer variant covers that would've spoiled some details, and now the entire revival of the Mighty Crusaders is in turnaround. Again. Liefeld had the same problem at IDW over a GI Joe-related project he was working on for them, but that was resolved. Not so much at Archie, which can't buy a break. Rob is growing up, after all.

Weasel of The Week: One guess

 This shouldn't come as a shock to anyone, but former president Donald Trump is using his frivolous lawsuits against Facebook, Google (which owns YouTube), and Twitter as a means of scamming the Legion of The Brainwashed out of more money, and he's getting roasted on social media because it's so obvious what kind of scam he's running this time.

"WAAAHHHHH! I'm too lazy to pay my own bills! Help me with legal expenses! WAAAAAHHH!!"

As Rudy Goofiani is finding out, Citizen Pampers will never spend his own money for anything. Which, of course, contradicts the Christian faith he supposedly embraced five years ago. God loves a cheerful giver, but not an unrepentant grifter like Trump, who picks up yet another set of Weasel ears this week.

"WAAAAHHH! WAAAAHHH!!"

Sports this 'n' that

 Mets ace Jacob deGrom has opted not to pitch in the All-Star Game in Denver on July 13. The MLB ERA leader is thinking long-term in terms of health and making sure the first place Mets can win their first division title since 2015.

He's not alone in opting out. Houston's double play tandem of Carlos Correa (paternity leave) and Jose Altuve (leg injury) will not play, either.

See, these are things that the parochial sheep who vote in excess don't consider. Neither Altuve nor Correa were voted as starters, but were chosen by AL skipper Kevin Cash as reserves. Since each team needs to be represented at the game, the Mets almost certainly will have someone replacing deGrom in Denver, and the ace is touting Taijuan Walker to take his place. Stay tuned.

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Another idiot got on the golf course to disrupt a tournament in a case of monkey see, monkey do.

After an idiot got on the course at the US Open last month, a copycat brazenly stole one of Rory McElroy's clubs at the Scottish Open, and took a few practice swings before security finally bum-rushed him off the course and off the premises. In this case, he committed his act of stupidity at the tee, not on the fairway.

On Wednesday night, in Miami, an inebriated moron disrupted the first episode of AEW's Dynamite away from Jacksonville, and ended up getting smacked by former champion Chris Jericho.

The late Andy Warhol said that in the future, everyone would be famous for 15 minutes. What he didn't plan was how some of these people get those 15 minutes.

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A Yahoo! article Thursday touted Washington Nationals ace Max Scherzer as a likely replacement for Jacob deGrom.

Later that night, in the 4th inning against the San Diego Padres, Scherzer, staked to an 8-0, had already given up two runs when relief pitcher Daniel Camarena stepped to the plate. Don Orsillo & Mark Grant are on the call:

San Diego eventually won the game, and Scherzer ended up with a no-decision, as Padres starter Yu Darvish was bailed out.

Now, that's how you earn your 15 minutes of fame.

Goofiani suspended in Washington, DC. Just disbar the old goof already!

 In The Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow lamented that he didn't have a brain.

Rudy Goofiani gave his brains up, and now, he's paying a steep price.

Photo courtesy of Yahoo!

On Wednesday, Goofiani had his law license suspended in Washington, DC, pending the resolution of his case in New York, which was the first to suspend the former mayor of New York and US Attorney General last month.

The backlash was swift. Son Andrew finished dead last in a GOP straw poll just days later, killing his chances to run for governor. Like his father, the younger Goofiani suffered from guilt by association with Donald Trump, serving in the former president's administration, another nepotism-fueled patronage job as a favor to the elder Goofiani.

Unsurprisingly, Rudy Goofiani played the victim card, calling the Washington ruling a disgrace.

No, Rudy, you're the disgrace. You fell for the con right along with everyone else in Citizen Pampers' orbit, and now, you're suffering the consequences. It's just a matter of time before more states suspend your license, or outright disbar you, and the latter, really, should be a mere formality at this point.

Time and Trump have eroded your mind to the point where an X-ray would reveal what few brain cells you have left have been reduced to mush. If Gerber made meals for seniors the way they do baby food, we'd recommend that to you.

And if you thought Citizen Pampers would actually pay his bill to you, then you don't know him as well as you thought you did. Bellevue will take good care of you, though......

Just another day in the land of the stupid

 In just a few minutes, Citizen Pampers is holding a press conference where he intends to announce he's suing Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey and his Facebook counterpart, Mark Zuckerberg, alleging censorship simply because America's Oldest Baby has been banned from both platforms. He's eligible to return to Facebook in January 2023, but that's not good enough for the Orange Onion.

"WAAAHHHH! I've been censored! WAAAAHHHH!"

Actually, no you haven't, Dumb Donald. You abused your privileges on those platforms, just like any other user. 

Former WWE CEO Linda McMahon, who knows a thing or three about dealing with the mentally ill, since husband Vince put on the act of being an insane demagogue for a few years, will be at the presser as well.

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Empty-G was at it again on Tuesday.

Marjorie Taylor Greene, who apologized last month for comparing COVID face mask policies to the Holocaust of World War II, tweeted that the Biden administration's heavy push to vaccinate everyone in the country was being handled by "medical brown shirts".

I'd be interested in finding out if Empty-G could ever pass an IQ test against a box of hammers.

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On his garbage hour on Fox Shmooze Tuesday night, Tabloid Carlson made some lame suggestions, as usual.

This time, he pushed the idea that cameras should be installed in classrooms to ensure that teachers don't use "critical race theory" as part of their curriculum. I doubt very seriously that Carlson even knows what he's talking about, but then, since his core audience is one flight above a box of hammers, well.....! He also accused Missouri Rep. Cori Bush of being "stupid".

Projecting much?

Ms. Bush has also been a registered nurse and an ordained pastor while Carlson, a trust fund baby whose education was probably centered at Toys 'R' Us as a child, blows hot air that could be sold at a balloon stand at a discount. So much for being "stupid". We reached out to his press secretary for a comment:

"No comment at this time." 

What a surprise.