Timex Cruz is at it again.
The Texas Senator, speaking at Texas A & M University the other day, told students that he was actually thinking of having the Lone Star State secede from the rest of the US. Uh, that was tried many, many years ago, and nothing came of it, jackass.
Even worse, Timex decided that podcaster and UFC commentator Joe Rogan (ex-The Man Show, NewsRadio, Fear Factor) would be appointed as president of Texas.
Farron Cousins explains why Timex plays the dummy card so much.
Oh, like, you were expecting him to name Jerry Jones or Mark Cuban? He's pandering to the students, whom he thinks are low information. Cuban, the owner of the NBA's Dallas Mavericks and a frequent contributor to ABC's Shark Tank, would probably flip off Timex, anyway.
For his low-rent babblings the last couple of days, Cruz gets a low rent Dunce Cap:
It's not a good idea to use your classroom to intentionally misinform your students about government.
On October 18, a history teacher at Anacapa Middle School in Ventura, California decided to rant that Citizen Pampers (Donald Trump) is still president, and tried to sell her students on vaccine hesitancy.
Said teacher has since been removed from Anacapa, and reassigned somewhere else in the district.
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We were all hoping the Super Bowl would've been the State Farm Bowl back in February, were it not for Green Bay coach Matt LaFleur's bone-headed decisions in the NFC title game against eventual champion Tampa Bay.
So the NFL schedule makers decided to match up Green Bay and Kansas City during the regular season this year.
However, for the 2nd time, Aaron Rodgers couldn't keep a date with fellow State Farm pitchman Patrick Mahomes. As previously reported, Rodgers sat out Sunday's game as he was in the COVID protocols, as the Chiefs beat the Packers.
It's gotten out that Rodgers, acting on the bad advice of the aforementioned Joe Rogan, decided to take ivermectin instead of a COVID vaccine. State Farm doesn't agree with Rodgers' stance on COVID vaccines, but apparently, there's too much value in keeping Rodgers as an endorser, so they're not cutting bait. Yet.
Personally, I thought Rodgers' run as a State Farm shill had jumped the shark a while ago.
Personally, I thought Rodgers' run as a State Farm shill had jumped the shark a while ago.
I guess you know what'll be in Rodgers' mailbox.....
Regular readers know I'm not too fond of commercials that treat the insurance industry like a joke.
The latest example comes from USAA, which serves members of the military and their families.
If you've been watching football this season, you've probably seen Tampa Bay's hard-partying tight end Rob Gronkowski, cast as a dimwit, trying to scam his way into a USAA policy, even though he's never served in the military, nor has anyone in his family.
What we're seeing, however, is Gronkowski being typecast as a brainless buffoon when he's not on the field. We saw this when he was shilling for Tide detergent a while back, when he was still with New England.
Someone call Mel Brooks. If he wants to remake "Blazing Saddles", he's got his new Mongo.
Cancun Cruz is just doing what he always does: pandering to the stupid Trumpublicans. The guy probably didn't even know who Joe Rogan was until about five minutes before his speech. Yeah, I was originally going to listen to the world's doctors and scientists but the dude-bro shock-jock made some valid points.
ReplyDeleteSomeone there should've informed Raphael ('cause that's Timex's real name) that if Texas were to secede, they couldn't take the military or NASA with them because they don't belong to Texas; they belong to the US Govt., which Raphael so badly wants to ditch. Secession would also mean that Texans would say goodbye to all of their gov't subsidies, their Social Security, medical and veterans' benefits, all of their educational funding and their infrastructure, they'd have to start manufacturing their own currency and a ton of other things, but I'm sure Cancun already knows this; his hood wearing, slack-jawed, one-toothed base, not so much.
The sad thing is that Cruz is actually a fairly intelligent person (and I use the term 'person' as loosely as possible), but he was unfortunately born without a spine and was tempted by the Dark Side years ago, so instead of actually making policies that would benefit Americans, he's instead decided to just be a professional troll, a lame version of a WWE villain. I didn't think Cruz could get more pathetic than picking a fight with a guy in a giant bird costume, but Republicans constantly show us that there's no bottom with them.
How do you get Ted out of Raphael?
ReplyDeleteI guess he changed his name so he can't be confused with a Ninja Turtle.