On The Air: Judge Mathis (1999)

 While Judge Judy retired from syndicated television after last season (Judy Justice is an online series), Judge Mathis, in its 23rd season, remains fresh & relevant, with healthy doses of humor.

Greg Mathis is a former judge in real-life, the culmination of a redemption story. As a youth, Mathis had his issues with the law himself. On the show, he gives his litigants equal time to present their cases. 

Early on, Mathis was popular enough to merit a crossover with Steve Harvey's WB sitcom. A few years later, Mathis appeared on Harvey's self-titled talk show. We wouldn't be surprised if the next step, if not already taken, is doing Celebrity Family Feud.

So you can pretty much guess where Mathis gets his inspiration in this clip, in which an unrepentant, bigoted plaintiff gets pwned not only by the judge, but the defendant as well!

Unfortunately, the verdict was edited off. The show airs while I work, so I don't get to watch too often. Hence, no rating.

Names making news

 Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's back in the news.

Reports are that Palin is planning to refile a defamation lawsuit against the New York Times, this after a judge threw out the suit last week because Palin and her lawyers didn't have enough evidence to back up their claims. What a surprise.

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Does Russian President Vladimir Putin want to reunite the Soviet Union?

Maybe not, but Putin's invasion of Ukraine this week would recall how the USSR was the enemy of all of America during the Cold War years. However, as Putin is directing his army toward Ukraine, right wing media is on his side here in the US, with Tabloid Carlson on Fox Shmooze leading the charge. 

Unsurprisingly, former US president Pecos Pampers (Donald Trump), who idolized Putin, is cheering for him. Anything to humiliate and embarrass Joe Biden, the current president, right? Trump wished he could do what Putin's doing now, and many believe that if Trump does weasel his way back to the White House in 2024, he will. 

Scary, but unlikely, given Trump's legal troubles.

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One of Trump's best friends in the entertainment business wants to get back in the ring. At age 76.

It has been 12 years since Vince McMahon had a match at Wrestlemania, losing a street fight to Bret "The Hitman" Hart, ending 13 years of on-air acrimony between the two.

But, then came word on Smackdown on Friday, in an announcement made by color analyst-radio talk show host, and former NFL player Pat McAfee, that the CEO-Chairman would appear on his radio show in Indianapolis on March 3.

File photo circa 2006. Courtesy Wikipedia.

F4WOnline, the online arm of The Wrestling Observer Newsletter and Figure Four Weekly, almost immediately released a report that claimed McMahon would be involved in a match at this year's Wrestlemania, taking place April 2-3 in Arlington, Texas, presumably against the younger, more athletic McAfee, who had a total of two matches in NXT not long ago. Online commentators are being more realistic, suggesting this would be the end game for McMahon's current mentoring angle with wrestler Austin Theory on Raw.

One way to try to explain away McMahon's supposed need to get back in the ring at 76 would be to make a run toward erasing the legendary Lou Thesz from the record books if McMahon can hold out long enough to wrestle past his 80th birthday. I think I read somewhere that Thesz wrestled into his 80's, but that was 30-odd years ago, and I believe it was in Japan. McMahon has appeared less and less on TV in recent years, but this does seem a little odd.

I'd make it more likely he'll be in Theory's corner vs. McAfee, but we'll see.

On The Air: Naomi (2022)

 Adapted from the DC/Wonder Comics miniseries by Brian Michael Bendis, David Walker, & Jamal Campbell, Naomi made her TV debut last month on the CW, with the returning Superman & Lois as the lead-in, which explains why The Flash has been displaced from Tuesdays, and moving to Wednesdays when it returns next month from a 3 month vacation.

Anyway, the story centers on Naomi McDuffie (Kaci Walfall), who is, at the start, unaware she's from another earth. That aside, CW and WB, with producer Ava DuVernay, are framing this as another teen-centric drama, albeit that rare one not produced by DC's go-to producer, Greg Berlanti.

Check the trailer:

This freshman season, of course, is a season of discovery, as Naomi discovers who and what she really is, with some long forgotten DC characters thrown in for good measure. The follow-up to the first miniseries hits stores next month as well, and if you can get the trade paperback for the 2019 book, do it. You'll be caught up in no time.

Rating: B-. You may need to watch this show more than once if you don't have the books to get a better understanding.

Musical Interlude: Rock The Casbah (1982)

 Talk about making a statement for MTV!

The Clash's 1982 album, "Combat Rock", produced its first single, "Rock The Casbah", but the visuals were not what you might've expected. A wandering armadillo, a Hasidic limo driver partying with a Muslim, and one of the band members reading a DC Limited Collectors Edition compilation of classic Dick Tracy. 

The story is that guitarist Mick Jones was not in a good mood when the video shoot started, hence the camo hat & mask until being removed by singer Joe Strummer. Drummer Topper Headden left the band after the album was recorded, so another drummer is keeping time in the clip.

On The Shelf: Case studies of old friends reborn

 We're going to do things a wee bit differently this time.

See, as time passes, the heroes of times past are rebooted for new generations of readers, and the original ideas don't always travel well into the new generation.

Take, for example, The Peacemaker.

Created initially by Joe Gill & Pat Boyette for Charlton Comics in 1966 as a backup feature to The Fightin' 5, the Peacemaker was among those acquired by DC Comics 20 years or so later, and the transition has not been smooth.

In 1987, the first attempt at establishing the character into the DC Universe saw his origin rebooted as Christopher Smith being the son of a dead Nazi soldier. Predictably, that didn't work. Sure, Peacemaker has been associated with some form of The Suicide Squad on and off since then, including the current series, which ends in May. The basic idea has been that Smith loved peace so much, he'd kill to achieve it.

In conjunction with the just-concluded 1st season of HBO Max's Peacemaker, DC issued a 1-shot special, Peacemaker: Disturbing The Peace, written by British writer Garth Ennis (The Boys, Preacher, Hitman), which recasts Smith as having been adopted by robbers as a youth when he was found in a stolen car they used for a getaway. As Smith tells his story to a psychologist in the open air of a park, you wonder if these are real memories or programmed into his system. Anyone that's been reading Suicide Squad knows that Smith is reluctantly a part of the current team under the even more corrupt than ever Amanda Waller, and implanting false memories is something she'd sanction. Ennis leaves the reader with more questions than answers. Not good.

Rating: C.

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When Pantha was introduced at Warren in the 70's, she was, and still is, a were-panther, but today's version, again, is not the same.

Back at Warren, Pantha was, like Vampirella, from the planet Drakulon. Today, Dynamite has rebooted Pantha as the reincarnation of an Egyptian Princess cursed with the shape-changing abilities she has. Something about angering the gods.

The funny thing is, there is little, if any, mention of the original series online. Same with Peacemaker. Now, Pantha has no ties to Vampi, which is bad news, and her current book isn't exactly choice reading material. While Dynamite is pimping out Vampi and Red Sonja like there's no tomorrow (ya don't believe me? Check the racks), Pantha is completely unrecognizable to older readers.

Rating: C.

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50 years ago, Marvel introduced Ghost Rider in the pages of Marvel Spotlight. Not to be confused with a Western hero of the same name that the company had acquired a few years prior, this was the story of a stunt rider who gave up his soul to save his girl. There have been others bearing the "curse" of Ghost Rider since then, but the original brimstone biker, Johnny Blaze, is back.

Last seen as a lord of hell, the new Ghost Rider, just out, brings Johnny back to earth, caught in a bizarre delusion where nothing is what it seems. He's married his lady love, Roxanne Simpson, has two kids, but it's not real, as Johnny soon discovers.

Benjamin Percy, who came over from DC last year, is at the helm for this series. From an artistic standpoint, they're trying to recapture the vibe of the 90's series, which created a new Rider for the era. Turning Johnny into an alcoholic who's in therapy? Not my cup of tea. Some things are better left alone.

Rating: B--.

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We mentioned earlier that Suicide Squad's current run is ending in May with issue 15. So is Teen Titans Academy, also with #15. That book went off the rails with an antichrist story arc. Rest assured, both series will return down the line, because that's how these things work these days.

A solicitation for an issue of DC Vs. Vampires suggested that Jayna, the surviving Wonder Twin after Zan was killed in issue 1 of this non-continuity series, would go on a vengeance hunt. Seems James Tynion IV & Matt Rosenberg changed their minds, and now it is Damian Wayne who becomes a vampire hunter in a 1-shot tie-in special in May. Apparently, these two mooks ain't exactly fans of the Twins, unlike Brian Bendis & Mark Russell. Something tells me it has something to do with the end of the current Justice League series in April.

Current League scribe Josh Williamson is also responsible for Jurassic League, out in May, which posits dinosaurs in the iconic costumes of Batman, Wonder Woman, & Superman. The crazy ideas being green lit these days would suggest there's something in the water at DC.

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I was at Walmart the other week, and picked up one of those four packs of DC books. I wish I hadn't.

The first issue of Task Force Z was at the front. Ya might as well say it's Red Hood (Jason Todd) fronting a zombie Suicide Squad without answering to Amanda Waller. Kinda behind the curve, aren't we? Marvel was doing this a while ago, and DC's only now trying to catch up. Spare me.

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If you're like me, and you've been waiting for the conclusions of Batman '89 and Suicide Squad: Get Joker, both have been pushed back to mid-April, partially due to supply chain issues. Another reason to hate those Canadian faux patriots protesting because of "losing freedom" due to COVID vaccines. Batman-Catwoman apparently is now bi-monthly, with the next issue set for April, meaning issue 12, the finale, would be in June. Writer Tom King is taking some obscure heroes and throwing them to Danger Street in a bi-monthly series out in May. Caveat emptor, since this is a Black Label line book, marked for a $7 cover price.

Musical Interlude: Look What You've Done to Me (1980)

 The soundtrack to "Urban Cowboy" blanketed the charts in 1980-1. 

You had Johnny Lee atop the country chart with "Lookin' For Love", which also crossed over to the pop chart. The soundtrack also boasted Charlie Daniels Band, Mickey Gilley, and Boz Scaggs, whose ballad, "Look What You've Done to Me", peaked at #14 on the Hot 100. Co-written with David Foster, "Look" also features members of Toto and The Eagles.

It would be seven years after "Look" peaked before Scaggs would return to the charts.

Someone needs to let go

 And that someone is Ye, aka Kanye West, who just can't let go of his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Kim Kardashian.

It's been nearly a year since Kardashian filed for divorce from the rapper, and months after filing, began dating Pete Davidson (Saturday Night Live, "The Suicide Squad", "The King of Staten Island"). Davidson, to his credit, wanted to stay as far above the fray as possible, but Kanye doesn't play like that.

This apparently dates back to an SNL skit in 2018 in which Davidson took a shot at West and his questionable mental health (West has self-diagnosed as bi-polar), claiming at the time that West was off his medication. Based on the steady reports of Kanye taking shots at Davidson & Kardashian, and even going so far as to try to block his ex's legal filing to be officially single, I'd say at this point, West is off his medication, though he'd never admit to it. He just split with Julia Fox after just a couple of weeks, because his obsession with his ex has consumed his every thought. Not good. Something like that will destroy a man's career and reputation fairly quickly if not checked.

West claims to have given his life to Christ, and if that's true, given recent "Sunday Service" concerts at various churches, he should be looking up passages about forgiveness. It's clear that he is jealous that Kim has moved on, as she has every God-given right to do, perhaps afraid of what effect that has on their four children.

At this point, short of having to go to court since the divorce is not yet final, there are two places West definitely needs to go:

1. Confessional.

2. A psychiatrist's office.

Believe me, I know. I've had ex-girlfriends with psych issues. You want to remain friends, and ultimately, both sides move on. That's the part Kanye West can't comprehend, but he should. Yesterday.

DeStupid is screwing 12 school districts in Florida. This cannot be allowed.

 In case you're not familiar, "DeStupid" is Florida Governor and Donald Trump wanna-be Ron DeSantis, who is not allowing mask mandates in Florida, all in the name of advancing his political ambitions at the expense of innocent lives. 12 school districts are getting funding slashed from the 2022 budget because they dared to do the right thing.

Florida resident Farron Cousins explains:

DeStupid is begging President Biden to go after him, don't you think? DeStupid has eyes on the White House in 2 years time, regardless of whether or not his idol, Trump, decides to run again, and to be honest, it's starting to look like he might not if he loses his court battles. However, DeStupid's voter base is shrinking, and it's all his fault!!!

Names making news

 Empty-G loves playing the stereotyped dumb blonde in public, because you'd think she'd know by now one simple truism in Congress, and I stressed this when Tabloid Carlson got the Dunce Cap on Sunday.

You don't mess with Alex From The Block!!

Marjorie Taylor Greene, Valedectorian of the Class of 2020 from Gracie Allen University (people of a certain age will get the joke), was in Texas over the weekend, and once again went after Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, this time questioning the NY Congresswoman's intellect.

Jealous much, Empty-G?

AOC owns a degree in International Relations & Economics from Boston University, so I'm pretty sure she could carry on stimulating conversations with barflies hoping to emulate the cast of Cheers were she still a bartender. Unfortunately, any rebuttal she has for Empty-G will go right over the Georgia Peach Pit's head. Not that hard to do.

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After Eminem's performance at the Super Bowl Halftime spectacular last week, Rudy Goofiani, who should not be heard nor seen, whined on his radio show about Eminem taking a knee in support of Colin Kaepernick.

Stephen Colbert had fun with that, dubbing over some lyrics from Eminem's 2002 hit, "Lose Yourself" (from "8 Mile"), and mixing in some Goofiani footage.

At least Eminem knows Stephen's got his back.

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HBO's Last Week Tonight should have a sanitized syndicated version for those unwilling to subscribe to HBO. It's either that, or host John Oliver should get a media pass to do some press conferences.

Like other comics, Oliver stays on top of the issues that Fox Shmooze would rather gloss over or misrepresent, in the latter case their ongoing misinterpretation of critical race theory, which is a college level course not taught in high schools, but Fox Shmooze and the GOPers don't want you to know that. They want to control your children's educational narrative, if you will.

Uh, dummies, there's also such a thing as libraries that have reference materials you can't censor, so there. This week's episode is on YouTube presently, but due to the coarse language, we can't post it here. We'd likely lose it anyway once WarnerMedia decides to pull it.

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It's not enough that Johnny Knoxville will be at Wrestlemania in Arlington on April 2-3 to satisfy Vince McMahon's obsessive need for mainstream attention.

Boxer and YouTube star Logan Paul has signed on to team with The Miz (Mike Mizanin) to take on Rey Mysterio and his son, Dominic (Oscar & Dominic Gutierrez) at the big dance. Miz was on the losing end last year with then-partner John Morrison vs. Damian Priest and Bad Bunny. Celebrity heels, on the other hand, don't win. Then again, celebrities are likely to go 0-2, if rumors are true that Knoxville is to challenge Sami Zayn, who regained the Intercontinental title on Smackdown on February 18 (show was taped a week earlier due to the Saudi trip). I don't think McMahon wants to put one of his major titles on Knoxville. Vince Russo, he's not.

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Some years ago, Donald Trump purchased the Turnberry golf course in Scotland, occasional site of the British Open.

Now, Trump is negotiating with the organizers of a Saudi golf league to host events at his American courses, including Doral and Bedminster, and maybe at Turnberry, too. I guess he sees how well the Saudis have treated his pal McMahon, and wants some of that action. Australian Greg Norman is the commissioner of the nascent league. The PGA, however, is threatening lifetime bans to any player that jumps to the new league. Why worry? With Trump involved, the Saudi league will fold in about 5 years or less.

Forgotten TV: Shivaree (1965)

 Not content with Shindig! airing as much as twice a week (until the winter of '66), ABC produced & distributed to syndication Shivaree, hosted by popular LA radio DJ Gene Weed, which lasted just one season. A half hour crammed with musical performances by some of the top acts, and some special, occasional, celebrity guests, such as, in this sampler, John Astin (The Addams Family), who performs his own composition, "Querida Mia". Also on the bill: The Yardbirds and Johnny Nash.

Edit, 2/25/22: Unfortunately, the YouTube poster decided to privatize the video hours after we posted. In its place is John Astin's performance of "Querida Mia" as a stand-alone clip:

Weed would later work as a producer for Dick Clark. You might've seen his name in credits for American Bandstand in succeeding years.

Rating: A.

Dunce Cap Award: Tabloid Carlson

With three stories dominating the headlines during the week, including the idiot blockade in Canada, and Russia's pending invasion of Ukraine, you'd think Fox Shmooze's Tabloid Carlson would have plenty to talk about on his Friday garbage hour.

Instead, he made the same mistake most right wingers tend to do these days. Pick a fight with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Carlson went on the air and tried to claim that AOC is a "privileged white lady", when it's pretty obvious she is a Latina. Of course, his low-information, intentionally ignorant viewer base will eat it up like chocolate.

Unsurprisingly, AOC fired back, and threw some subtle shade at Carlson, making reference to the Spanish word for a-hole, pendejo. If all Carlson wanted to do was what comes naturally, being a spineless jackass, he certainly accomplished that goal. You'd think he'd have taken the hint after AOC had previously spanked Texas Senator Ted Cruz on Twitter. You do not pick fights with Alex From The Block.

That said, you know what Tabloid gets for this foot-in-mouth stupidity.....

Appropriate, don't you think?

Musical Interlude: Crimson & Clover (1981-2)

 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts started 1982 off with "I Love Rock & Roll" holding the top spot on the Hot 100. So, how do you follow that up?

In Joan's case, you cover Tommy James & The Shondells' "Crimson & Clover", which peaked at #7 after being released as a single to radio stations in April.

Yeah, I know I posted a duet James & Jett did years later, but I thought I'd bring this out.

What Might've Been: Hawaii Five O (1997)

 It's been almost two years since the 21st century revival of Hawaii Five-O ended its run (reruns are now spammed at least 1-2 days a week on Ion). But would this have gotten the green light had a 1997 pilot from Stephen J. Cannell not misfired?

Cannell was able to coax James MacArthur out of retirement to reprise as Dan Williams, now the Governor of Hawaii. Local product Russell Wong (ex-Vanishing Son) and film veteran Gary Busey, whose son Jake would have a short lived TV career of his own (Shasta McNasty, anyone?), were posited as the headliners for the proposed series. Original cast members, including Kam Fong and Herman Wedemayer, were brought back as well. Cannell also called on Branscombe Richmond (Renegade) to play a mob boss being set up as a fall guy. I'm not going to bother with any Lee Majors jokes from the 80's.

The problem was that Chin Ho Kelly had been killed off in the original series, and if this pilot was to pick up where the original left off in 1980, continuity needed to be retained.

Check it out for yourselves.

Apparently, Cannell couldn't get the rights to the classic recording of the theme by The Ventures, and I'll guess, since there are no closing credits or definitive information online, that Cannell's go-to music guys, Mike Post & Pete Carpenter, covered the track.

No rating. Just a public service.

They gave up Mike Douglas for this? Hour Magazine (1980)

 Group W (Westinghouse) cut their ties with Mike Douglas at the dawn of the 80's, as the traditional talk-variety show, they felt, was dying. The suits wanted to try something new. While Douglas and his new distributor, Syndicast, lasted maybe a couple of years, Group W got nearly 10 out of their new show, Hour Magazine.

Gary Collins (ex-The Sixth Sense, Iron Horse, Born Free, The Wackiest Ship in The Army) served as host for the entirety of the series' 9 year run, with a variety of co-hosts. The show was geared toward the type of audience attracted to, say for example, Phil Donahue's daytime yack-fest.

This sample from 1988 features Linda Kelsey (ex-Lou Grant) as co-host, with Dr. Joyce Brothers and Dean Butler (The New Gidget, ex-Little House on The Prairie) among the guests. I believe Gary plugged Day by Day, which might've been the show Kelsey was working on at the time, at the end of the show.

Collins cut his interview chops on Sixth Sense, when film legend Joan Crawford was the guest star. Collins barely appeared in character as Dr. Michael Rhodes, and the story ended early to allow Collins to interview Crawford.

Rating: A. Yeah, my folks watched this back in the day.

Names making news

 We told you earlier this week how MyPillow founder Mike Lindell wanted to send some of his product to the anti-vax truckers in Canada. Unfortunately, Lindell and the truck driver he hired were blocked from entering the country because----wait for it----neither one of them is vaccinated. Now, Lindell says he's renting a helicopter to drop the pillows in via parachute.

Like, Lindell doesn't get it, eh? Flying over Canadian airspace isn't going to solve your problem, hoser. Canada has enough problems without right wing peabrains like you supporting these brainwashed clowns.

So, to that, we say:

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A NYC judge has ruled that Donald Trump, Sr. & Jr., and Trust Fund Barbie (Ivanka) have to appear in court, testifying under oath as part of the investigation into the family's questionable business practices.

To have them plead the 5th is a waste of everyone's time, with the evidence already in the hands of prosecutors. One slip, and they'll get tagged for perjury. I think part of the reason Citizen Pampers is so afraid of going to prison is because he'll be cut off from his favorite dining halls. You know. McDonald's, Arby's, Burger King, and so on.

And, no, while I'd joke about it, giving them designer prison wear isn't in the cards.

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Valentine's Day has come & gone, and there's still the soap opera drama between Kim Kardashian, her current steady, Pete Davidson (Saturday Night Live), and her last one, rapper Kanye West.

Like, we get it. Ever since Kanye's mother, Donda, for whom he's now named two CD's, passed away in 2017, West has lost his, ah, moral center, if you will, and for someone who openly admitted to having bi-polar disorder, which would explain some of his behavioral patterns, you'd think West would stop with the juvenile jealousy drama and seek help. He can't deal with the fact that Kim decided on her own to end their marriage (which, admittedly, was inevitable), and that his being labeled a control freak by the media isn't helping him at all.

Trust me, it's only going to get worse before it gets better.

Stupid-E wants to file a lawsuit against the attorney general. He's barking up the wrong tree, but there's a reason for that

 "Stupid-E", of course, is Eric Trump, who says he plans to be in court on Thursday to file a lawsuit alleging that attorney general Letitia James' civil investigation into the Trump family's operations is partisan in nature. The key word here, though, is that this is the civil investigation, not the criminal one that started with the Manhattan Attorney General's office. Of course, being dumber than three bags of hammers, Trump is barking up the wrong tree for the wrong reasons.

Farron Cousins breaks this down. After that, I'll explain why Stupid-E is going after James.

Yes, I think the Trumps are going after James because she is a woman in a position of authority, and the Trumps, especially Citizen Pampers himself, don't like that. The fact that James is also African-American is a factor here, too.

Misogyny. Sexism. Racism. The warts in the Trump men's bio-chemistry, if you will, came out during Citizen Pampers' 1st run for the White House (2015-6). Eric's never going to be mistaken for a Rhodes scholar, but at least he doesn't look like he's taken one toke over the line before saying something stupid, unlike his brother, Dumb Donald II. This will not end well for the Trumps, because they don't understand that all the protections they've hidden behind all these years broke down like a hacked firewall during Pampers' administration.

The bottom line, again, is that no one is above the law, no matter their financial status or personal station. We've seen two governors taken down in recent times. The current Department of Justice is dragging its collective feet out of fear or reprisal from the GOPers. This climate definitely needs to change yesterday.

A little of this and a little of that

 Disgraced ambulance chaser Silly Sidney Powell is whining about being labeled "a dangerous lunatic" as she fights a defamation suit filed last year for pushing falsehoods about the 2020 election. File this under "reaping what you sow".

Farron Cousins explains:

Do yourself a favor. Retire.

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You've heard about the Canadian truckers who blocked some important roadways connecting Canada to the US last week. These anti-vaccine geeks are, of course, getting support from right wing geeks here in the US, including Prince Pillow himself, Mike Lindell, who is sending some of his MyPillow pillows to the Canadians. 

Get a clue, eh? You've been misled by these right wing hosers, so take the jab and take off, eh?

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Prior to the Super Bowl, right wing morons were claiming the halftime show, starring Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Kendrick Lamar, and Mary J. Blige, was supposedly satanic in content. No, it wasn't. Even conservative host Candace Owens liked the show, from what I'm reading.

Snoop, who, as reported in brief the other day, recently purchased Death Row Records, and Dre in particular, were representing the home state (California). You have Eminem, one of Detroit's own, reprising his 2002 hit, "Lose Yourself", from "8 Mile", then taking a knee in support of former San Francisco QB Colin Kaepernick, who's still blackballed from the league, even though the demagogue partially responsible for said blackballing, isn't pestering the league anymore because he doesn't have a power base. If you don't know who that is, you haven't been paying attention the last 5 1/2 years.

While Owens was digging, her followers weren't. Go figure.

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You know things are bad in WWE these days when a rumor starts circulating that one of the matches being talked about for Wrestlemania (April 2-3) in Arlington would have Canada's Kevin Owens (nee Steen) taking on Hall of Famer "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, who hasn't had a match since 2003.

We get it. Vince McMahon wants coverage of the "Show of Shows" on Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, Extra, et al, in addition to SportsCenter, and he doesn't care how his paying customers feel about it. It's all about those headlines as much as it is the revenue coming out of the event, the 2nd one to take place at AT&T Stadium in 4 years. However, coaxing Austin out of retirement is not the answer. Matching Owens with a rising star, like, for example, Austin Theory, who's already beaten Owens on TV, makes more sense.

Commentators on Reddit are already saying it's more than likely not going to be a match, but a meeting of the minds, if ya will, leading to Owens eating a Stone Cold Stunner, which he himself has adopted as a finisher the last few years to save wear & tear on his knees, as opposed to a pop-up version of the powerbomb. Ring of Honor fans will recall that Owens used the F-5 (or, as they say in Quebec, F-Cinque), but he can't use that in WWE. Why? Two words. Brock. Lesnar. 'Nuff said.

Count me among those seeing an in-ring skit between Austin & Owens. For both their sakes.

Cinderella left Cincinnati behind (Super Bowl LVI)

 The late baseball commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti wrote that the game "is meant to break your heart". It applies to football, too.

It had been 33 years since the Cincinnati Bengals last played in the Super Bowl, losing to San Francisco. Current NBC color analyst Cris Collinsworth was on that team, so you'd understand if he had to keep his emotions in check during Sunday's Super Bowl. These Bengals, with Heisman winner Joe Burrow, a 2nd year pro out of LSU, at the helm, were poised to bring a title home to Cincinnati for the first time since the Reds won the World Series in 1990.

The Los Angeles Rams, though, were just three years removed from being outplayed by Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. Sean McVay's club had collected a receipt on Brady already, knocking Tampa Bay out in the NFC divisional round. Ending this Cinderella story wasn't going to be easy.

Nearly halfway through the first quarter, Matthew Stafford hooked up with ex-Giant Odell Beckham, Jr. for the game's 1st score. Beckham, however, would injure his knee in the second quarter and did not return.

After an Evan McPherson field goal cut the lead to 7-3, Stafford connected with Cooper Kupp for a touchdown, but punter Johnny Hekker, holding for kicker Matt Gay, nearly had a Garo Yepremian moment when he botched the hold on the extra point. Burrow then hit Tee Higgins with a 6 yard TD toss, and the Rams led, 13-10, at the break.

Higgins struck again just 12 seconds into the third quarter, but got away with tugging the face mask of the Rams' Jalen Ramsey. The zebras were largely letting them play, of course, as Collinsworth observed in the first quarter. This second touchdown toss covered 75 yards, and Cincinnati had its first lead. Following a Stafford interception, McPherson increased the lead to 20-10.

It stayed that way until Gay hit a 41 yard field goal with just over 9 minutes left in the frame. Late in the fourth quarter, things just went crazy. Kupp had a TD catch called back due to offsetting fouls. Then, another ex-Giant, Eli "Baked" Apple, was called for pass interference, then was beaten by Kupp for the game winning score. Apple had been burned earlier by Beckham.

Burrow, who led the league in being sacked, was dropped 7 times by the Rams' defense. In contrast, Stafford was only sacked twice. Kupp was named game MVP as the Rams won, 23-20.

We'll talk about the commercials another time.

Names making news

 Kanye "Ye" West should've titled his new CD, "Non-Stop Drama", because that's what we've been subjected to all this week.

Still butt-hurt over his pending divorce from Kim Kardashian AND her relationship with Pete Davidson (Saturday Night Live, "The Suicide Squad"), West has been making headlines all week, from begging God for forgiveness to bring his family back together to excluding fellow rapper Kid Cudi from the new album, "Donda 2", to rumors that his new lady, Julia Fox, may have cooled things a bit (not confirmed).

West claims to have given his life to Christ, but like a certain "friend" of his, whom we'll talk about shortly, he behaves like anything but. It's been reported in the past that West was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, but he's denied being off his medication. Oh? I've known people in the mental health system since the 80's. Denial is not a good thing.

The next CD should be titled, "Pariah", because that's what "Ye" has become.

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Farron Cousins reported earlier today that Donald John Narcissus Trump is still trying to pass the buck on the blame for the 1/6/21 Capitol riot on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

"WAAAAHHHH! It's her fault, not mine! WAAAHHHH!"

Deflecting & denying blame are Trump hallmarks, passed on to the Repugnant Party of this decade. Trump, not Pelosi, was the one who had the authority to call in the Capitol Police before the riot, but didn't. He's so deathly afraid of the inevitable indictment that should be coming against him soon enough, not only for the riot, but for the bazillion charges facing him in New York, Washington, & in Georgia. He's unwilling to admit to any wrongdoing, thinking he's above the law. He isn't, and it's way past time he learned that basic truism.

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Traditionally, the network carrying the Super Bowl, in this case NBC, would premiere a new show right after the game.

Not this year.

NBC will flip to Olympic coverage after the game tonight, breaking only for news at 11 (ET). Most of today's coverage, while streaming on Peacock, is airing on USA Network. It might be the only thing that gets the Olympic ratings out of the Nielsen basement.

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Due to a trip to Saudi Arabia next weekend, WWE taped the February 18 episode of Smackdown following Friday's live broadcast from New Orleans. Not to spoil anything, but rumors are that after their interaction at Royal Rumble two weeks ago, "Jackass Forever" star Johnny Knoxville will again cross paths with Sami Zayn, with possibly higher stakes in mind, at Wrestlemania. Again, this is so WWE Chairman-CEO Vince McMahon gets mainstream media attention outside of sports networks for his major shows. Zayn, a Canadian of Syrian background, is on the longest extended heel run of his career, but is also doing charity work off camera that WWE won't acknowledge on the air.

You'll have to tune in this Friday to see where this all leads.

Forgotten TV: One in a Million (1980)

 It was a reasonable premise. A cab driver inherits a company owned by one of her favorite customers, and her whole world changes.

So what went wrong with One in a Million?

Shirley Hemphill (What's Happening!!) landed the lead role as cabbie Shirley Simmons, who has that life changing experience. The ensemble also includes Carl Ballantine (ex-McHale's Navy), Keene Curtis (ex-The Magician), and Mel Stewart (ex-Roll Out!, who played, I believe, Shirley's dad).

There are episodes available on YouTube, but they have been privatized to the point where the poster does not want them viewed outside of the service. We're seeing that a lot lately. The series was cancelled after 13 weeks, but had it been on a different night than Saturday, maybe it succeeds.

Following is the intro. Hemphill sings the title song.

Hemphill would later turn up on All's Fair and What's Happening Now!. Stewart moved on to Scarecrow & Mrs. King, and Curtis, after a stint in cartoons (narrator on Space Stars), resurfaced on Cheers.

No rating. Never saw the show.

Advertising for Dummies: If you don't complain, you get a better deal

 In the 70's, Union 76 oil ran a series of spots with a couple. George is played by comic Dick Yarmy, brother of Don Adams (ex-Get Smart, Tennessee Tuxedo). Yarmy never headlined his own series, unlike Don. Casey Kasem is the announcer at the end.

Here, George assumes that he's paying as much as $50 for some repairs, but gets the shock of his life, after vowing not to complain.

Super Bowl preview

 This year's Super Bowl is a truly fresh matchup, loaded with storylines.

For the Cincinnati Bengals, the AFC North champions, it is their 3rd trip to the big dance, and the first since after the 1988 season. In both of their previous appearances, the Bengals fell to the San Francisco 49ers. We almost got a 3rd meeting of the two teams, had today's Niners not lost the NFC title game 12 days ago.

2nd year QB Joe Burrow has come of age, largely thanks to a former college teammate at LSU, JaMarr Chase, joining him in Cincinnati. Ex-Giant Eli Apple surfaced with the Bengals after a run in New Orleans, and is having a career year. If there are any regrets, it's the fact that star receiver AJ Green decided to chase the money (Arizona), and left town. Chase has more than filled the void.

The Los Angeles Rams, the NFC West champions, make their 5th appearance in the Big Game with their 4th different quarterback. 23 years after Kurt Warner, the subject of a recent biographical movie, took the Rams to the promised land, coach Sean McVay has the Rams back in the Super Bowl, a few short years after an el foldo against New England. For those of you scoring at home, the Rams QBs in the Super Bowl have been:

Vince Ferragamo (lost to Pittsburgh).

Warner (defeated Tennessee, lost to New England).

Jared Goff (lost to New England).

Matthew Stafford. The former Lions QB was traded to LA for Goff, and has reaped the benefits. While Goff struggled with another historically underachieving Lions team, Stafford finally made a long post-season run that mattered. And it would be a coincidence if, 34 days after his alma mater, Georgia, won college football's national championship, Stafford brings the Lombardi trophy back to the Rams, who called St. Louis home when Warner led them to the title.

The one thing the Rams cannot do is lose the football. Turnovers nearly cost them against Tampa Bay and San Francisco, and Cincinnati also has a ball-hawking defense. The Rams are the 2nd straight NFC champion to double as the host team (Tampa Bay last year), but that doesn't mean they'll also win.

Let me just address the drama surrounding the halftime show. Hip hop flavored with Dr. Dre, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Mary J. Blige, and Kendrick Lamar, and conservative ding-a-lings are having a whine-fest for no other reason than to throw shade and call attention to themselves. Calling rap and hip-hop satanic, for example, is beyond laughable. It's just sad. Snoop, who just bought his old label, Death Row Records, is also a big supporter of youth sports in the LA area, so his inclusion in this year's show was inevitable and well earned.

Back to the game. This will be a high scoring affair. Burrow to Chase vs. Stafford to Odell Beckham, Jr., Cooper Kupp, Robert Woods, et al. Von Miller only has to show the ring he won with Denver to motivate the defense. Aaron Donald is hoping to win his 1st. In short, Burrow is in for a long night. So is Stafford, but it is the team with the fewest mistakes that takes this home.

Prediction: I've slept on Cincinnati most of the postseason, but there's a feeling that the 3rd time could be the charm for a team whose home city hasn't seen a championship since the Reds last won the World Series in 1990. Bengals, 49-45.

Of course, I could be wrong.

Musical Interlude: What You Won't Do For Love (1978)

 Singer-songwriter Bobby Caldwell made his first inroads on the charts in 1978 with "What You Won't Do For Love". Some of you might remember when it was used in an ad campaign for Mitsubishi back in 2013. In between, Caldwell re-recorded "Love", and it's been covered by a number of artists as diverse as Roy Ayers and Elliot Yamin.

Empty-G needs to go to the library

 We have often referred to Georgia Misrepresentative Marjorie Taylor Greene, aka Empty-G, as, well, a real-life Dumb Dora, the inspiration coming not so much from a Golden Age comic strip by Blondie creator Chic Young, but a recurring segment on Match Game back in the day. Here's an example:

We all believe Empty-G says the things she says for the sake of keeping her name in the headlines to extend her 15 minutes of infamy, which won't last much longer if she doesn't survive a primary this year.

Empty-G with 2 of her closest friends, DoorMatt and Screwy Louie. File photo courtesy of Detroit Free Press.

Appearing on One America News on Wednesday, Empty-G, in trying to accuse House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of using the Capitol Police as a personal police force, a la the Nazi Gestapo in World War II, got the Gestapo confused with gazpacho soup, a cold, vegetable-based delicacy from Spain.

Of course, arch-nemesis Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez couldn't resist the opportunity to throw shade on Ms. Moldy Peaches. Alex From The Block came up with this gem:

"At least she leads by example. She clearly banned all books from her house years ago."

Instead of being a national disgrace, Empty-G should start visiting the local library. I recommend starting with dictionaries.

Musical Interlude: We Are The World (1985)

 In response to the British supergroup Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?", Lionel Richie & Michael Jackson co-wrote "We Are The World", and, with the help of producer Quincy Jones, assembled an all star group of their own under the heading, USA For Africa.

It has been said that when the recording session was scheduled, Jones posted a sign on the door that read, "Check your ego at the door". Message sent & received. Richie & Jackson were joined by Jackson's sister, LaToya, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Hall & Oates, Kenny Rogers, James Ingram, Kim Carnes, Al Jarreau, Huey Lewis, Kenny Loggins, Steve Perry, Stevie Wonder, Dionne Warwick, Harry Belafonte, Dan Aykroyd, Diana Ross, Cyndi Lauper, and Ray Charles, among the luminaries. Most of the artists were signed to the Columbia family of labels (Columbia, Epic, Portrait, et al), with Aykroyd, Lewis, Wonder, Rogers, and Richie among the non-Columbia artists at the time.

Today, an uplifting song of this magnitude could also rally us against COVID.

Dunce Cap Award: Lauren Boebert

 Colorado Misrepresentive Lauren Boebert went on Mike Huckabee's Newsnax yack-fest, and tried to excuse her pathetic behavior by blaming Jesus.

SAY WHAT?

Like, seriously? When was the last time this brunette airhead read a Bible, much less quoted or recited actual scripture?

Farron Cousins tries to sort all of it out.

You'd think Huckabee, who also, at last check, had a weekend show on TBN, unless that was dumped, given how TBN has made over their lineup, would've cut Ms. Bow-Wow off before she went too far off the deep end. Someone must've mixed Kibbles 'n' Bits with her Cocoa Krispies to explain this nonsense.

You know what we're sending to Mile High Country:

At least now, Lauren Bow-Wow and Empty-G have something else in common, besides being 1st term misrepresentatives in danger of losing their seats.

Video Valentine: It Only Takes a Minute (1975)

 "It Only Takes a Minute" may be Tavares' best known song, released in 1975, but it still resonates with couples today.

We posted this over at Saturday Morning Archives a ways back, since this clip comes from Soul Train.

In memory of Ralph Tavares, who passed away in December.

A little of this and a little of that

 You've seen the promos prior to the Olympics with actor Terry Crews, fresh from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, touting himself as an Olympic Superfan. While NBC commentators are working remotely while the action takes place in Beijing, China, giving new meaning to the phrase, "plausibly live", another celebrity fan has some heat with NBC.

Leslie Jones, while on Saturday Night Live, was employed as a special commentator at a couple of Olympiads for the network, and is live-tweeting the current Games. For now. Jones, currently hosting Supermarket Sweep for ABC, has said she may end the live-tweets because NBC doesn't want her using their videos without their permission. Well, that's understandable.

File photo courtesy of Yahoo!.

Maybe they should've signed her to reprise her previous Olympic gig, and then, there wouldn't be any drama.

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It wasn't enough that the AFC got the better of the NFC in the Pro Bowl----again----on Sunday, winning, 41-35 and fending off a late NFC surge, but now one of the NFC's top runners got an unexpected escort out of Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas. 

New Orleans running back Alvin Kamara was arrested after the game, and charged with battery. I didn't read all the details, but it sounds like a domestic abuse case. Just the last thing the NFL needs right now.

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If you're a GOPer being investigated on an assortment of charges, the last thing you want to do is add more gasoline to the fire by either giving interviews where you are angling for sympathy points from your brainwashed base or appearing at campaign rallies absent of any semblance of reality by spewing the same garbage that got you in trouble in the first place.

This applies to the following:

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton.

Florida Misrepresentative Matt Gaetz.

Disgraced former mayor, soon-to-be-disbarred lawyer, and national embarrassment Rudy Goofiani.

Citizen Pampers and his sons, Dumb Donald II & Stupid-E.

Disgraced ambulance chasers Silly Sidney Powell and Looney Lin Woodchips.

STFU and go away!

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When I was attending a private Christian academy in town between 1977-9, the church had no problem accepting some books I had to part with due to my family moving to the ginormous spread I still live in. This included biographies on Davy Crockett, Buffalo Bill Cody, John Paul Jones, and a generous collection of Hardy Boys novels, plus 2 volumes of a Funk & Wagnalls encyclopedia set my mom acquired from A & P back in the day, but never finished.

Tame stuff compared to the fiction being destroyed by a crackpot pastor in Tennessee.

Greg Locke organized a bonfire in which copies of the Twilight and Harry Potter series of novels were destroyed, all because of the arcane, dark themes depicted in the books. Both series spawned movies, of course, earning pop culture icon status.

But where Locke falls off the rails is in claiming that the spells created by Potter's creator, J. K. Rowling, are real. No, they're not, dumbass. 

Locke fabricated the claim about the spells to scare people into giving up the books. This guy is so out of touch, he'd even burn copies of Scooby-Doo comic books to make his point, and probably did.

I wonder if his church is in the jurisdiction of a certain mayor in Tennessee who'd like to debate some of the points.........!

Remember the Chex Scarecrow? (1966)

 Over at Saturday Morning Archives, we mentioned that Ralston-Purina had used a scarecrow as a mascot for their Chex line of cereals (now made by General Mills). Only one commercial is available online, and here it is. 

It is believed, but not entirely certain, that actor-singer and future game show host Bobby Van played the Scarecrow. Unfortunately, the ad campaign was gone by the end of the decade.

Mike Pence got it right. America's Oldest Baby doesn't want to accept it

 On Friday, former Vice President Mike Pence came out and admitted that he had no authority to overturn the 2020 presidential election, and the same goes for current VP Kamala Harris should the Repugnants reclaim the White House in 2024.

"Trump is wrong.", he said.

Unfortunately, Donald John Narcissus Trump won't accept that reality.

"WAAAHHHH!!! Yes, he could overturn the election, but he didn't! WAAAAHHH!"

It is clear that America's Oldest Baby did not have a clue about what exactly the powers of the president & vice president were and are. He rode the wave of support from disillusioned, disgruntled suburbanites, playing them for fools in an elaborate con game that just won't end. His marks will stand by him, oblivious to the fact that he's lied to them from the go.

It is like the Biblical story of Jacob & Esau. Their father, Isaac, meant to bestow a blessing to Esau, but Jacob deceived him, and claimed the blessing himself. In this writer's opinion, Trump did that to Pence in 2016, but, to cover his trail, offered Pence the VP position. In reality, Pence, not Trump, should've been the GOP candidate in '16 vs. Hillary Clinton. Instead, the Republicans opted for a more polarizing figure in Trump, a political neophyte with a national reputation carefully created. Over the course of the last few years, from the point of Trump declaring his candidacy in 2015, that image was irretrievably destroyed, with his repeatedly playing the race card against Latinos and his misogyny toward women. His marks didn't care. However, in 2020, Trump's intentional mismanagement of the COVID pandemic did him in, more than anything the Democrats tried against him, but Trump will never openly admit that for fear those same marks, who've already turned on him for taking the vaccines, would leave him in droves.

Had Mike Pence, the former governor of Indiana, been the GOP candidate in 2016 instead of Trump, things might be different, but he and the party gave in to the whims & wishes of a 70-something man-baby who never grew up.

Video Valentine: The One That You Love (1981)

 Australia's Air Supply began making inroads in the US at the beginning of the 80's, having already released four albums in Australia before 1980's "Lost in Love".

A year later, the group hit the top of the charts with "The One That You Love", the title track from the album. The single was released in April 1981, so figure this got some play at high school proms.

An Oklahoma GOPer wants to ban biology in schools. What's wrong with this picture?

 In an effort to retain the support of evangelical Christians, GOPers are proposing new legislation that makes no sense.

Take, for example, Rob Standridge, a GOPer state senator in Oklahoma, who wants to ban, basically, biology in his state's schools, threatening to fine and/or fire teachers if they don't comply.

SAY WHAT??

GOPers are acting butt-hurt because the LGBTQ+ community is getting too much attention. Banning biology from being taught would prevent future generations of high schoolers from learning about gender identity, preferences, et al. They might as well ban sex education, too, if they haven't already done that.

Standridge is also proposing legislation to ban certain books (here we go again) about sexual topics.

Farron Cousins explains:

GOPers think they know what's best for today's kids. No, they don't. They won't allow education to do what it's supposed to do, threatening to fine teachers $10,000 per "violation", then firing them and banning them from finding work in the state for five years. That is wrong.

At this rate, all the southern states will be in the dark ages with all of this irresponsible legislation. We solicited a comment from a concerned citizen:

My sentiment exactly. It's 2022, not 1952. Get with the program, Standridge!!

What Might've Been: Getting By (1993)

 To be honest, Getting By should've attracted more attention than it did when it bowed on NBC in March 1993. It marked the return to series television of Cindy Williams (ex-Laverne & Shirley), working once again with producer Thomas Miller, who now had a successful partnership with Robert Boyett (i.e. Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters) through Lorimar, later Warner Bros..

That would've all been great if Getting By landed at ABC. Instead, it turned up at NBC, which didn't insert it into its Thursday block. If my memory is correct, it aired on Tuesdays, which, of course, was home to Laverne & Shirley for most of its run.

Williams plays a single mom sharing space with a widowed co-worker (Telma Hopkins moved over from Family Matters) in a Chicago suburb. Co-starring Deon Richmond (ex-The Cosby Show) and Merlin Santana, later of The Steve Harvey Show, Getting By got 2 seasons, nothing more.

Let's take a look at a sample episode, with special guest star Lark Voorhies (Saved by The Bell):

Rating: B.

Names making news

 If his name was Smucker, he'd really be in a jam.

Sorry, bad joke. TV veteran Jeff Zucker stepped down from his post at CNN on Wednesday after it was revealed he was in a relationship with a CNN employee. In other words, he was having an affair.

Rumors are circulating that former evening host Chris Cuomo put the word out on Zucker as revenge for Cuomo's dismissal back in the fall over his helping his brother, former governor Andrew Cuomo, with his issues. Predictably, from headlines we've seen, former president Donald John Narcissus Trump was happy to see Zucker sacked.

No truth to the rumor that Zucker might be related to the Zucker brothers of "Airplane!" fame.

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On Monday's The View, moderator Whoopi Goldberg misspoke when she said the Holocaust during World War II was more about "man's inhumanity to man".

After an apology issued on Tuesday's broadcast, following a pre-taped appearance on one of the late night talk shows, Goldberg was suspended for 2 weeks by ABC suits, likely on orders further up the Disney chain.

The Oscar winner will return, of course, barring any online trolls digging up other misstatements. Word is they're looking for a Jewish commentator to fill the seat vacated by Meghan McCain when she left the show a few months back.

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Speaking of online trolls, some of these nameless goofs ruined veteran wrestler Brian Kendrick's chances of landing a gig with All Elite Wrestling.

24 hours after it was made official that Kendrick was released by WWE, it was reported that Kendrick was bring brought in to face Jon Moxley on Wednesday's episode of Dynamite. However, so-called "internet sleuths", in truth mischief making trolls, dug up an old video interview Kendrick gave in 2013 where he made some anti-semitic remarks and commented on long debunked conspiracy theories. Invitation rescinded. AEW went in-house for Moxley's opponent, selecting Wheeler YUTA, an associate of the Best Friends tag team, to face Moxley in Wednesday's opener. I won't spoil it for you. The show should be available On Demand on the TBS portal on Spectrum's Entertainment On Demand channel.

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Once upon a time, Shane McMahon was thought to be the heir to the throne in WWE.

But that was a long time ago. Today, McMahon, 52, is a chairman of Medianomics, and for the 3rd straight year was brought in to help as a producer for the Royal Rumble. However, he was inserted into the field for the men's Rumble, and, it is alleged, he went into business for himself before being eliminated.

Rumors say the plan was for McMahon to start a program with former champion Seth Rollins (Colby Lopez), culminating at Wrestlemania in April. By Monday, those plans were scuttled, and Shane was shown the door by his father.

In all honesty, the younger McMahon fits the part of the weekend gladiator, not in perfect physical condition, and in a lot of appearances dating back to 2009, he appears to be "blown up", in wrestling terms, just before he reaches the ring if he runs down the ramp. He'd left the company initially in 2010, realizing that sister Stephanie had moved ahead of him in the pecking order, and began seeking his fortunes elsewhere. While with Medianomics, McMahon has also built a modest acting career, with guest appearances in recent years on NCIS: Los Angeles following a silent cameo in the remake of "Rollerball" in 2003.

He had to have known whatever ideas he had, including taking over the bloated creative team, wouldn't fly with his father, and, poof, he gone. 

His birthday was last month. Can we send him some Weight Watchers meals anyway?

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Fox's Masked Singer begins its spring season on March 9, but a taping last week has already spoiled one of the contestants, leaving Fox suits to consider the possibility of scrubbing what has already been leaked to the press.

By now, it's gotten out that disgraced former mayor and soon-to-be-disbarred legal beagle Rudy Giuliani, fresh off an embarrassing cameo in "Borat 2" last year, is in the field. The reveal disgusted half the judges, namely singer Robin Thicke and actor-comedian-Fox personality Ken Jeong, to the point where the two men walked off the set. While it is not known what costume the geriatric Goofiani was given, the upside is that he's the first one eliminated----provided they don't turn around and reshoot the episode and scrub Goofiani altogether.

It is not the first time the series had a GOPer in the field. Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin was a contestant in 2020. I think they'll leave things intact, knowing the show's going to get higher than normal ratings next month.

Puffs riffs on the Platters (1982)

 Procter & Gamble's Puffs facial tissues have been around for a while. When they decided to emphasize how velvety smooth the tissues are, well, it lent itself to a commercial jingle based on the Platters' "Magic Touch", hence "The Velvet Touch":

America's Oldest Baby wants his vice president investigated for not overturning the election. It's official. He's crackers

 The latest reports have it that Citizen Pampers, aka Donald Trump, is petitioning the January 6 select committee to----get this---investigate his own vice president, Mike Pence, the former governor of Indiana, for not doing what the oldest baby in America wanted, and that, of course, was to overturn the 2020 election.

It's gotten beyond ridiculous at this point. Pence, unlike Trump, did his job as he was supposed to, certifying the election, but Trump doesn't comprehend that. The Archduke of Affluenza is desperate and scared, knowing the walls are closing in on him in Georgia & New York, as well as in Washington, DC.

Farron Cousins explains.

Trump wanted the power that came with being president, but didn't know what to do with it, and treated it as just another CEO gig, spending more time on the golf course than actually doing anything significant. But, when he got his butt whupped 15 months ago, he couldn't, and still can't, handle it.

Suffice to say, this is the lasting image of the biggest presidential disgrace of the modern era:

And it's his own fault.

Video Valentine: Baby Come To Me (1982)

 Written by Rod Temperton, produced by Quincy Jones, and with contributions in the background by Michael McDonald, Temperton, Greg Phillinganes, David Foster, and Toto's Steve Lukather, Patti Austin & James Ingram hit #1 on the Hot 100 the 2nd time around with 1982's "Baby Come To Me", which was heavily featured on General Hospital.

Unfortunately, it would be Austin's only #1 on the Hot 100. Ingram, who'd previously charted with Jones on two singles off the legend's 1981 album, "The Dude" ("Just Once" & "One Hundred Ways"), would score again with duets with McDonald ("Yah Mo Be There") and Linda Ronstadt ("Somewhere Out There").

Edit, 9/6/23: Had to change the video. This is a 1983 clip from Solid Gold: