What Might've Been: Shirley (1979)

 5 years had passed since The Partridge Family had ended. Ratings hungry NBC thought that its star, Shirley Jones, could still pull viewers in on Friday nights. I think you know where this is going.

Shirley bowed in October 1979, with Jones fronting a new ensemble that included veteran John McIntire (ex-Wagon Train, The Virginian), and future stars Tracey Gold and Peter Barton. Jones also sang the theme song. 

However, and this was a lesson NBC would learn again and again, viewers' habits would change on different nights as time passes. In 1979, CBS had taken over Fridays with The Incredible Hulk, The Dukes of Hazzard, & Dallas. Shirley lasted just 1 season, and Shirley Jones didn't land another series gig.

Here's the opener:

Peter Barton would return a couple of years later with another 1-season wonder, The Powers of Matthew Star, before joining up with Gene Barry for a 90's revival of Burke's Law, which went 2 seasons. Tracey Gold would find greater success with Growing Pains, which was a mid-week staple for ABC in the 80's.

No rating. As has been previously noted, my folks were into Hulk and The Dukes.

Musical Interlude: All The Small Things (2023)

 Recently, WWE's Miz (Michael Mizanin) and Alexa Bliss (Lexi Kaufman-Cabrera) appeared on That's My Jam, one of Jimmy Fallon's spin-offs from The Tonight Show. Fallon serves as host and executive producer for Jam, which is good, clean fun.

Here, Alexa plays Magic Mic and takes a shot at Blink-182's "All The Small Things". Check out Miz playing air guitar left handed to support his friend.

This follows up Alexa's recent gig on Fox's The Masked Singer, where she said she had gotten over her stage fright. 

By the way, congrats to Alexa and singer-husband Ryan Cabrera, who are expecting their first child, due in December.

Dunce Cap Award: Do I really need to tell you?

 "Dumb Dora is really dumb!"----Gene Rayburn, many times on Match Game between 1973-84.

Consider the following picture:

Notice the problem, pilgrims? Only 18 stars, instead of 50. What nearsighted troll came up with this?

A certain Congressional Dumb Dora from Georgia, that's what.

Yup, Marjorie Taylor Greene, in her never-ending quest to get a headline a day, posted the above image on Twitter Monday, but failed to notice there were just 18 stars. I read that the last time someone tried to create a flag with 18 stars, it was when Louisiana was granted statehood many moons ago.

Now, you'd think Empty-G would know better, or at least, the trained squirrels helping her with her Twitter accounts. We'll excuse the fact that she also paraphrased the last line of "The Star Spangled Banner" because it was, after all, Memorial Day, but, as usual, Empty-G got roasted on Twitter for the graphic faux pas shown above.

We'd recommend Greene take a vacation to relieve whatever stress she has, but, I think the sun may have already roasted what few brain cells she has left. 

Of course, she gets another Dunce Cap. This was too easy.

Apparently, the DJ wasn't paying attention.........

 Sunday's Angels-Marlins game included the following absurdity.

The Los Angeles Angels think they've turned a double play. However, Miami is challenging, and, as Lindsay from Close Call Sports explains, umpire Jeff Nelson is having issues with the DJ spinning the tunes over the Angels' PA system.

Also, Lindsay explains a runner's lane interference call from today's Tigers-Rangers game.

Hey, if the umps can have vacation fill-ins, so can the team DJ's, it seems. The one in Anaheim had the attention span of a deaf chipmunk.

What Might've Been: Those Amazing Animals (1980)

 It had been nearly a decade since the likes of Animal World and Wild Kingdom had moved to syndication. Buoyed by the early success of That's Incredible!, producer Alan Landsburg gifted ABC with a 2nd reality series at the end of the summer of 1980.

Those Amazing Animals premiered in August of 1980, with Burgess Meredith (ex-Batman, Search, Korg: 70,000 BC), in between "Rocky" movies at the time, singer Jim Stafford, and Priscilla Presley as hosts. It seems so fitting that the opening segment in the following episode has Stafford, who scored a big hit a few years earlier with "Spiders & Snakes", stepping aside for a rattlesnake handler.

The series ran 1 calendar year before being cancelled, caught in the usual Sunday night ratings wasteland. After it ended, Presley moved on to Dallas, and Meredith landed another series gig opposite Sally Struthers in Gloria. Stafford didn't get another series, and went back on tour.

Rating: B.

Videos of Summer: California Dreamin' (1966)

 Australia's The Seekers covered The Mamas & The Papas' "California Dreamin'" in 1966, and this clip has the band on a flight, presumably to the US, we think, while Judith Durham sings over the video. Good way to start Memorial Day weekend and our annual "Videos of Summer":

Ed Ames (1927-2023)

 This hurts.

Many of us grew up with Ed Ames as the cerebral, Oxford-educated Cherokee, Mingo, on Daniel Boone, during its first four seasons (1964-8). After the breakup of the Ames Brothers, Ed turned to acting, starring on Broadway before 20th Century Fox signed him for Boone. After leaving Boone, Ames returned to music, and made the rounds. We've seen clips of him on The Johnny Cash Show, for example.

Sadly, Ed Ames passed away on Sunday, May 21, at 95, two months shy of his 96th birthday.

At one point, Ames owned a share of the NBA's Phoenix Suns. Aside from Boone and his singing career, Ames is also remembered for one of the most infamous sketches on The Tonight Show during the Johnny Carson era. Asked to demonstrate his ability with a tomahawk, Ames accidentally hit the illustrated cowboy in the groin, leading to four minutes of laughs from the audience, recorded as one of the longest sustained laughs in television history.

We're going back to 1955 and The Ed Sullivan Show for the Ames Brothers performing "On Moonlight Bay":

Ed was a frequent musical guest as a soloist during the 60's, in addition to the Ames Brothers' frequent visits in the 50's.

Rest in peace, Ed.

What Might've Been: Wojeck (1966)

 Credit goes to fellow blogger Chuck Miller for this one.

If you're subscribed to, say, for example, Max or Amazon Prime or Netflix, you're accustomed to series having short seasons of 10 episodes maximum. Turns out it's not unique at all.

Like, the Canadians did it first, eh? Many decades ago, eh?

Wojeck, inspired by the career of real-life coroner and politician Morton Shulman, ran for 2 seasons of 20 episodes before its star, John Vernon, was lured away by the promises of big bucks in Hollywood. That certainly proved to be true, as Vernon is best known to American audiences for "National Lampoon's Animal House" and its short-lived spinoff, Delta House, and as a character actor often cast as a villain or heavy.

Steve Wojeck (Vernon) is a coroner who also is a social activist. If this sounds familiar, well, Quincy, M. E., which came along a decade later on NBC, was also inspired by Shulman, and went from your average procedural mystery to a hour-long format that allowed for stories about sensitive subject matter of the period. The difference was, Quincy had a longer run.

American audiences got their first look at Wojeck when the episode, "Tell Them The Streets Are Dancing", was imported by NBC for the Bob Hope Chrysler Theater. The fonts used for the titles and credits on Wojeck have often been used at Universal as well for a number of series over the years (i.e. McHale's Navy, The Six Million Dollar Man), which suggests to me that maybe NBC & Universal were interested in bringing Wojeck over as a summer replacement at some point, then passed. What I'm not sure of is if there were some litigation over any similarities between Wojeck & Quincy. One YouTube commenter noted that the episode, "Another Wonderful Day", may have inspired an episode of Quincy.

Cartoon fans know Vernon from The Marvel Super Heroes Show (Iron Man & Sub-Mariner) and Batman: The Animated Series (as mobster Rupert Thorne, who also figured into the DTV, "Mystery of The Batwoman"). Carl Banas was also heard in Rocket Robin Hood, The Raccoons, & Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, among his toon credits. Graydon Gould was heard on Supercar.

Here's "Another Wonderful Day":

The opening made me think this show also inspired a UK series, Department S, which had nothing to do with the coroner's office, but did specialize in odd mysteries.

Rating: A.

Classic TV: Wild, Wild World of Animals (1973)

 The beauty of syndicated programming was that stations could program shows on any night they chose. In the case of our next subject, it wasn't confined to the weekends, unlike the show it was created to be a contemporary of.

Time-Life Television began making inroads into syndication with 1973's Wild, Wild World of Animals. The series lasted five seasons (1973-8) as a weeknight answer to Wild Kingdom, which had itself moved to syndication a couple of years earlier after ending a run on NBC.

William Conrad (Cannon) narrated the series, while the show was filmed on location. Unlike Kingdom's Marlin Perkins, Conrad never left the studio, recording his voice-overs during breaks in filming Cannon.

After the series ended, reruns would air on USA Network, WTBS, and elsewhere during the 80's. Warner Bros Discovery currently owns the rights to the series, but is in no hurry to release it on DVD, when it can still be used in schools.

Here's the intro:

Rating: A.

Musical Interlude: What's Love Got to do With It? (1984)

 "What's Love Got to do With It?" marked the return of Tina Turner to the pop mainstream after several years away, the lead single off her 1984 album, "Private Dancer". It went to #1, and was in heavy rotation on MTV much of that summer, right alongside the likes of Bruce Springsteen.

In memory of Turner, 83, who has passed away at her home in Switzerland.

Sports this 'n' that

 Reports have circulated that Tom Brady, who recently retired after finishing the 2022 season with Tampa Bay, capping a 23 year career, is joining the Las Vegas Raiders' ownership group.

This may seem like it's coming out of left field, but Brady has seen how other former players, such as Denver icon John Elway, have transitioned into front office roles after retirement. All Brady needs to do, really, is take a look at one of his failed reclamation projects at the end of his Patriots tenure, Antonio Brown, and how he's created a toxic atmosphere here in the 518 with the Albany Empire, as an object lesson.

It could work.

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They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Unfortunately for AEW's Outcasts stable, their gimmick involves using spray paint on defeated opponents, a tactic used by the New World Order in WCW early in their run (1996-7), but then they moved on.

The Outcasts (Toni Storm, Saraya, & Ruby Soho) act like a trio of juvenile drama queens, which, in truth, devalues all three wrestlers. The spray paint has to go, like, yesterday.

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As WWE is celebrating two of their alumni topping the box office charts last week, three current wrestlers are getting ready for the big screen.

On the heels of "Fast X" (w/John Cena) & "Guardians of The Galaxy, Volume 3" (w/Dave Bautista) finishing 1-2 at the multiplexes last weekend, comes news of Seth Rollins (Colby Lopez) landing a part in the next "Captain America" movie for Marvel & Disney, but that ain't all.

Charlotte Flair (Ashley Fliehr) and Liv Morgan have been cast in a feature film biography of women's wrestling pioneer and Hall of Famer Mildred Burke, based on a best selling book by Jeff Leen. Emily Bett Rickards (ex-Arrow) has been cast as Burke, with Flair as June Byers, and Morgan as Clara Mortensen.

In other WWE news, WWE President Nick Khan, in an interview, said the company is open to moving its primetime flagship, Raw, off Monday nights, and to another night, likely to suit the needs of a new network home, should that be necessary when the current network rights expire next year.

Raw, which marked its 30th anniversary in January, has only been on USA (1993-2000, 2005-present) and what is now Paramount Network (2000-5). Smackdown, currently on Fox on Fridays, may be looking for a new home again, and could head back to NBC-Universal, with rumors that NBC itself would take it over, after the series has previously been on USA & SyFy, in addition to UPN (1999-2005), MyNetwork TV (2005), & CW (2006-10), before landing at Fox in 2019. Khan also indicated that they are exploring the idea of expanding Smackdown to 3 hours to match Raw, but, as a number of fans have repeatedly noted, 3 hours is one hour too many for Raw, with too few matches over the course of three hours, as opposed to NXT on Tuesdays, which can cram as many as 9 matches into that time frame.

Here's a better idea. If Fox is willing to part with Smackdown, becoming the 3rd broadcast network to drop the show, let it go back to USA, and keep it 2 hours, while cutting Raw back to 2 hours, so all 3 primetime shows have a uniform format. Can't go wrong with that.

Florida vs. Disney continues in a classroom. Florida parents need to stop listening to conservative lies

 Let me make note to start this piece that I have relatives and former classmates living in Florida. One classmate invited me to take a vacation down there in the Sunshine State two years ago, and I turned the guy down, but didn't tell him why.

Another friend recently moved back to the 518 after the passing of his mother, who passed at 102 while living in Florida. As I told him, I wouldn't go down there for any reason, even on vacation.

Why should I spend time down there in a state run by narrow minded bigots?

Florida, dating back to at least the 70's and Anita Bryant's anti-gay public stands, has been a bastion of homophobia for a very long time. Now, former president Donald Trump makes his home there, and one of his wanna-be clones, Ron DeSantis, is the governor, whose unconstitutional policies target the LGBTQ+ community, as well as other minorities, as he aspires for the White House next year.

However, the controversial Parental Rights in Education act, aka "Don't Say Gay", is in fact discriminatory, and its vague wording (intentional) opens the door for parents to let loose their inner bigots against things they don't understand or care to accept.

Case in point: On May 3, 5th grade teacher Jenna Barbee screened Disney's 2022 film, "Strange World" for her class. A central character acknowledges early on that he's gay, but it's not a pertinent plot point.

Still, Shannon Rodriguez, a member of the local school board, supported by the right wing activist group Moms For Liberty, raised a stink, even though the objectionable content is, at best, minimal. You can't tell bigots things like that, because they don't think. They only react.

Farron Cousins breaks it down:

We live in a more inclusive, welcoming society in 2023, Mrs. Rodriguez, and it's way past time you and your fellow bigots understood that. As Farron points out, the Parental Rights Act only applies to grades Kindergarten through 3rd grade, and no further, though that could change if these narrow minded screwballs have their way. In other words, Mrs. Rodriguez, you are out of line, and you owe Ms. Barbee an apology yesterday. You don't care if she loses her job, because you don't want the truth to get in the way of a manufactured narrative that is wrong.

And if Ms. Barbee loses her job in Florida, I know a few schools here in the 518 that would happily welcome her.

Visit to a small world: Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

 In equal doses a love letter to fans of "Star Wars" & "Fantastic Voyage", among science-fiction classics, "Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania", the 3rd film to top-line the size changing couple (Paul Rudd & Evangeline Lily), who venture into the quantum realm, quite by accident this time.

Scott Lang (Rudd) is now an author, his memoir a big hit, since coming home. Daughter Cassie (Kathryn Newton) has become a teenaged social activist, and winds up in jail, which doesn't sit well with Scott.

However, there are details of Janet Van Dyne's voyage to the quantum realm that finally come to light, forcing Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer) to have to explain to husband Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and the rest of the family. Cassie is experimenting with a device that ends up sending them to the quantum realm for a battle with Kang (Jonathan Majors) and MODOK (Corey Stoll), who was previously Hank's rogue protege from the first film. MODOK ends up being treated as a tool. Because he was.

Anyway, "Quantumania" is currently streaming on Disney+, and a post-credits scene sets up the immediate follow-up in this adventure, as a certain time travel series is set to return later this year.

Here's the trailer:

It was a shock seeing Bill Murray in this one, and, I have to say, would it be a big ask to have him find a stylist?

The final act is a hoot and a half, and the rest of the movie isn't that bad, either.

Rating: A-.

On The Shelf: Final look at Free Comic Book Day 2023

 Random House's recent best seller, The Last Kids on Earth, is adapted into comics form, and retitled, The Last Comics on Earth. Max Brailler & Joshua Pruett's look at DIY independent comics is an amusing little flight of fancy & imagination, reflecting the growing trend of independent creators to self-publish, something we've seen here in the 518 with Mike Spring, who has a new graphic novel coming out soon. Last Comics on Earth is aimed for tweens & teens.

Rating: B.

From the brilliant mind of writer Greg Pak comes Mech Cadets, a love letter after a fashion to those giant robot animes we've seen since the 60's (i.e. Gigantor). Mech Cadets debuts in August on Netflix, so Kaboom, an arm of Boom! Studios, is warming readers up with this nugget of joy. It isn't drawn the same as your average manga, but the designs do look like something from out of the past.

Rating: A.

Aftershock Comics offers up Seismic Stories to preview a pair of titles, particularly The Darkness We Brought Back. An original series, Animosity, leads off the volume with a 4 page teaser. In a word, bizarre. The whole book, in fact, is.

Rating: B-.

Remember when there was an anime on Fox a number of years ago, Shaman King? From that series comes a manga, Shaman King: Flowers, from Kodansha. Flowers was actually released two years ago, and an anime is headed for Netflix.

Rating: B.

Not to be outdone, Viz serves up Choujin X, a black & white manga that will be hard to understand for the uninitiated. Strictly for manga fans.

Rating: B.

Ablaze's Animal Castle introduces readers to not one, but two volumes of the graphic novel. Volume 2 is cover featured, but inside, it's prefaced by volume 1. A curious tale aimed at grade schoolers.

Rating: B.

Oni Press presents a double feature.

Lights, written & illustrated by Brenna Thummler, hits stores in September, and is previewed with 10 pages of story. Thummler's previous graphic novels have been titled, Sheets & Delicates. Is there a pattern here? Maybe.

Zachary Sterling's Punch Up leads off the volume. For teenagers, that's all I will say.

Rating: B.

Finally, Titan Comics blesses us with Runescape: Untold Tales of The God Wars, which boasts some of the best artwork of the lot. I believe Runescape is a video game? Could be a companion piece for Titan's forthcoming Conan The Barbarian, as it may reach the same audience.

Rating: A-.

Meet Bush's Baked Beans' new spokesman----Peyton Manning! (2023)

He may be retired from football, but you just can't escape Peyton Manning.

Manning has landed two new endorsement deals in recent months. For one, he's joined the growing lineup of endorsers for Subway, as a "correspondent" for "sports anchor" Charles Barkley. As for the other, well, I've already spoiled it.

Manning was also signed to trade barbs with Bush's Baked Beans' mascot, Duke.

Bush's released this "audition" tape.

Now, I know I've ragged on him because of his folksy charm, but it lends itself to speculating on what he could do as an actor beyond commercials. Remakes of "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" or Gomer Pyle, USMC or No Time For Sergeants come to mind. Shoot, could you picture Peyton in Mayberry?

Musical Interlude: Norman (1961)

 "Norman" was a pop-country crossover smash for Sue Thompson in 1961, peaking at #3. With a voice rivaling Brenda Lee, Thompson had a few more hits, but it seems "Norman" was the only one I've ever heard on the radio, mostly on country channels, over the years.

On The Shelf: More Free Comic Book Day 2023

 Part 3 of our Free Comic Book Day review.

While Marvel has been the home of Star Wars books for a while now, kid-centric Adventures titles based on the franchise are at Dark Horse.

One such title is built around The High Republic, but what isn't clear is if this story ends on a cliffhanger. No ad for a forthcoming title.

The back-up features Nickelodeon's Avatar: The Last Airbender, written by Amy Chu, and a little more lighthearted than I'd expected.

Rating: B.

Rick Remender's latest at Image is The Sacrificers, previewing a new series debuting in the summer. In a word, bizarre. Not really sure what Remender is going for here, but it does read like a good vs. evil morality play.

Rating: B-.

Another entry from Image is Jeff Lemire's Fishflies, written & drawn by the creator himself. Lemire's art style is very simplistic and to the point. Making it black & white on the interior, however, is not something I agree with, however. A 6 issue double-size miniseries debuts in July. Image would be better served going back to censoring the coarse language, though. Takes away from the aesthetic.

Rating: B-.

West of Sundown, from Vault Comics, is a tale of a vampire debutante and the Confederate soldier who becomes her consort in the old west. Already out as a hardcover trade. Tim Seeley crafts an interesting tale, aided by Aaron Campbell.

Rating: B.

In the 90's, Valiant began building a line of heroes, including X-O Manowar and Shadowman. 30 years later, the characters have been revamped for a new generation. Bob Hall writes & draws Shadowman, whose alter ego is a jazz musician based in New Orleans. Not much has changed, except for the fact that we now have more of a reluctant hero. Michael Conrad & Becky Cloonan are in charge of X-O Manowar, which looks interesting.

Rating: A-.

Paying no heed to the fact that DC's Teen Titans Academy flamed out in less than 18 months, Boom! Studios is forging ahead with Ranger Academy. As in, the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangersm who already have two titles to begin with. If they're trying to expand the backstory to explain the existence of the Rangers, ok, cool. The artwork is a homage to the franchise's roots in Japan. It's ok for the target audience, though I'd recommend some Santayana to the publisher.

Rating; B.

Remember "Fright Night", back in the day? With Chris Sarandon, Roddy McDowell, and a decent cast? Well, creator Tom Holland (not to be confused with the actor) has licensed it to American Mysthology for a new series, previewed here. Decent, with 80's vet Neil Vokes contributing to the artwork.

Rating: B.

We'll finish this on Sunday.

Sounds of Praise: Didn't it Rain? (1964)

 Sister Rosetta Tharpe has been regarded as the "Godmother of Rock". An early pioneer as a guitar player, her use of sound distortion opened the door for generations of guitarists and singers, from Chuck Berry, Keith Richards, and Eric Clapton to Lita Ford, Joan Jett, and Chrissie Hynde.

From 1964, Sister Tharpe brings forth the tale of Noah in "Didn't it Rain?":

Dunce Cap Award: Marjorie Taylor Greene

 Georgia Misrepresentative Marjorie Taylor Greene is obsessed with impeachment, all because former president Donald Trump was impeached twice, but acquitted both times. In Empty-G's mind, the acquittals don't matter. What does matter inside her tiny brain, aside from what are likely peach pits substituting for brain cells, is that she feels she needs to impeach someone, anyone at all, just to get even with the Democrats. And this is despite the fact that her targets are just doing their jobs more efficiently than she ever could.

Farron Cousins explains.

Merriam-Webster defines impeachment as a charge of misconduct made against a holder of a public office. You'll recall that Empty-G threatened to impeach President Biden every week, until someone convinced her that wasn't a good idea. However, her threats against a Washington DC attorney who is prosecuting suspects in the 1/6/21 Capitol riot, and against FBI director Christopher Wray, don't even come close to having anything in connection with misconduct.

Instead, it feeds into her other obsession, the need to be in the headlines every day, a la Trump. Her latest articles of impeachment won't go anywhere, and, in addition, practically demanding public support doesn't help her at all.

In addition, you've probably heard by now about her latest one-on-one scuffle with a Democrat, in this case Jamaal Bowman, in which Empty-G's nemesis, Alex From The Block, happened along to tell Bowman that "she ain't worth it, bro'". Ouch!

Greene gets yet another Dunce Cap, because she clearly does not comprehend what constitutes impeachment.

To paraphrase an old cliche, Empty-G, be careful what you wish for, because it might just happen. To you.

Refunded sympathy: Goofiani gets sued for costing a man his job

 11 months ago, on a campaign stop on behalf of his son, Andrew, Rudy Goofiani was at a Staten Island Shop-Rite, where a store employee, Daniel Gill, patted him on the back, while addressing him as a scumbag. Goofiani falsely claimed he'd been assaulted, largely to get sympathy points from his base. Gill lost his job, and spent 24 hours in jail before the charges were dropped.

Two days after being sued by a former assistant who says he engaged in racist and sexist misbehavior, Goofiani is being sued by Gill. 

Civil rights attorney Ron Kuby, who, like Goofiani, has been on the radio in NYC (a former on-air partner of Curtis Sliwa), is representing Gill, alleging false arrest. Not only is Goofiani being sued, but so are a few others. Brian Tyler Cohen explains, and also breaks down Goofiani's other legal troubles.

One week after Donald Trump was held liable for sexually assaulting E. Jean Carroll, a verdict Trump has since ignored as he continues to defame Carroll, fellow geriatric Goofiani is on the hot seat. Between Gill & Noelle Dunphy, the former assistant, the only thing Goofiani can hope for after losing both suits, is that he handles things with something Trump lacks. Dignity. I wouldn't hold my breath on it, though.

Notes from around town

 Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer is leading a push for WW1 veteran Henry Johnson, for whom a street in Albany is named, to be featured on a postage stamp. Johnson was previously awarded a posthumous Medal of Honor, again thanks to Schumer, and, next month, Fort Polk in Louisiana is being renamed Fort Johnson in memory of Johnson's heroics in World War 1.

A movie biography is almost inevitable at this point.

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Personal note: Since 2017, my brother, along with an aunt & cousin, would spend Thanksgiving at Denny's in Latham. The last two years, Denny's was short-staffed on Thanksgiving, and would close shortly after we had left.

The tradition has ended.

Denny's quietly closed its Latham location along Route 7 and it Wolf Road eatery in Colonie. No explanation has been offered by the chain as of press time, but one must assume that this is another outgrowth of the COVID pandemic.

What's left of the Colonie Denny's. Courtesy of the Albany Times-Union.

This fall, my brother & I will be making reservations at another restaurant for Thanksgiving.

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An Albany summer tradition returns June 15 as Alive at 5 begins its 2023 season. This year's series has expanded in terms of time. In past years, the show would start roughly around 5 pm, ending around 8 or so.

This year, the start time at Jennings Landing has been pushed up to 4:30 pm, and now, the shows figure to end around 9. Now, the 4:30 start is a bit of a problem for working stiffs like ye scribe, as in transit from work to the show, you're missing at least the 1st half hour or better. The Office of General Services didn't take that into account, you see.

The lineup:

June 8: Hawthorne Heights w/Bad Luck (Emo Pride Night).

June 15: Mihali w/Side B (Jam Night).

June 22: Matt Stell w/local favorites Skeeter Creek (Country Night).

July 6: Plush w/hometown stars Super 400 (Rock Night).

July 13: The Sweet w/Sly Fox & The Hustlers (Classic Rock Night). Fellow blogger Chuck Miller reminds that this version of The Sweet isn't the same as the group that had hits like "Little Willy", "Ballroom Blitz", & "Fox on The Run" in the 70's. Like most nostalgia acts, someone co-opted the copyright to the band name, and, well......!

July 20: The Skatalites w/Dr. Jah & The Love Prophets (Reggae Night). Dr. Jah's been around since at least the 90's, and the Skatalites are no strangers to the 518, either.

July 27: Rakim (as in late 80's-early 90's rap duo Eric B. & Rakim) w/DJ J-Ronin & Camtron5000 (Hip-Hop Night).

August 3: 90's star Montell Jordan, last seen recording gospel records, with DJ TGIF opening (R & B Night).

The expanded 4 1/2 hour time frame suggests extra acts will be inserted at the last minute, but we'll see.

An umpire redeems himself, and a Yankee pitcher gets tossed

 Last month, Yankees pitcher Domingo German was checked for an illegal substance on his hand. Umpire James Hoye let him off, advising him to wash his hands. In that case, the game was at the Stadium.

Tonight, in Toronto, things took a turn.

While Toronto starter Kevin Gausman was checked at 3rd base, German was checked at 1st base. I'll let Lindsay at Close Call Sports take it from here.

German will get a 10 game suspension, and, unlike the Mets' Max Scherzer, will likely go through with an appeal. In both games, German was working on a perfect game. Once he comes back from his suspension, it'll be worth seeing if he learns anything, and gets rid of the "unfair advantage".

What Might've Been: Yahtzee (1987-8)

 I spent many a night growing up playing Yahtzee with my mom, and sometimes, also with my brother. 

In 1987, veteran game show producer Ralph Andrews, partnered with actor-turned producer Larry Hovis (ex-Hogan's Heroes) and his business partner, Gary Bernstein, to develop a game show based on the long running dice game, which, at the time, was marketed by Milton Bradley, and since then, by Hasbro.

A pilot was offered to ABC that fall, with Peter Marshall, more than a year removed from All-Star Blitz, as host, aided by Teresa Ganzel (ex-The Duck Factory). Yahtzee, the game show, was an amalgam of High Rollers, which had been revived that year by Merrill Heatter and his new partner, Rick Rosner, Hot Potato (competing teams of 3 contestants under a specific theme), and any number of celebrity panel games, such as Blitz, Match Game, and, of course, Hollywood Squares, which was in its 2nd season under Rosner's stewardship.

Our panel: Charles Nelson Reilly (ex-Match Game, The Ghost & Mrs. Muir, etc.), Jo Anne Worley (ex-Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In), Rhonda Bates (ex-Rollergirls, Speak Up America), Bruce Baum, and Robert Ridgely (ex-The Gallant Men), by this point known more for commercials and cartoons (i.e. Flash Gordon, Tarzan, Sky Commanders).

ABC passed, and the series went into syndication in January, with Ganzel now part of a rotation of co-hostesses working with Marshall. Unfortunately, the series never got out of the starting gate due to a lack of station interest. It didn't play in the 518, as I recall, as it would've been killed by High Rollers, Hollywood Squares, Jeopardy!, & Wheel of Fortune. When the series began, Hovis, who had been a writer-producer-panelist on Liars Club, took on those same gigs, plus taking over as announcer.

Unfortunately, this really does have an unhappy ending. A falling out between Hovis & Bernstein and Andrews led to the former pair being arrested in February. Hovis would later sue for defamation over the incident, which all but ended his TV career. I think part of the reason Worley was a regular was because she & Hovis had previously worked together on Laugh-In.

Rating: B.

Rockin' Funnies: I Love Rocky Road (1983)

 2 years after Joan Jett & The Blackhearts took "I Love Rock & Roll" to the top of the charts, "Weird Al" Yankovic parodied it to celebrate a particular flavor of ice cream. Dr. Demento appears briefly as a cashier, while Al's band play soda jerks in "I Love Rocky Road":

Literally sweet music.

Notes from around town

 Cyber-bullying remains a problem in schools. At least one school district in the 518 is looking to do something about it.

The Albany Times-Union reports today that Bethlehem High will require students to lock their phones during the school day, starting in September.

The stated objective is to enable students to focus more on schoolwork (of course) and save their social media needs for after school. There's bound to be some pushback, of course, but if this works out, other schools in the area will follow suit. It's also meant to be a deterrent against bullying, so we'll see how it goes.

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A few months ago, Midtown Grocery, aka Lucky Stop, on the corner of Congress & 3rd streets, was shut down by the city. Improvements were made, and the store reopened. However, it's gone dark again, and this time, there is no indication that city officials had anything to do with it, which suggests the store may be permanently closed this time.

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Glenville realtor John Bevilacqua has been in business for over 20 years, but until last fall, flew under the radar.

WROW morning host Ben Patten did something about it.

Patten brokered a deal with Bevilacqua for a new home in the area, and, impressed with Bevilacqua's efficiency and business sense, Patten put in a good word with his bosses at Albany Broadcasting, WROW's parent, and, right before the holidays, he began recording commercials on the air for Bevilacqua's business, Your Home Sold Guaranteed Realty, sometimes with Bevilacqua. Last month, Bevilacqua joined the WROW roster with a half hour talk show, moderated by John Gabriel. Listeners are encouraged to call in during the 30 minute show.

Let's just say Bevilacqua is finally getting his just due.

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I have to share this last item.

Saturday, I was on a bus en-route to Walmart in Brunswick. A fellow boarded at Samaritan Hospital, looking rather shabby. By the time he came off the bus, other passengers were happy to see him leave. He told the bus driver he'd lost his pass, so she let him on. Others were moving to the back because of an odor on the fellow. You'd swear he was Pepe LePew in human form, but the truth is, as he pulled up his pants (wasn't wearing a belt), he had one giant poop stain on the back of his briefs. I'm not making this up. The sweatshirt he was wearing didn't reach his waist because he didn't pull it all the way down. An orange bracelet suggested he was a patient at the hospital (one guess), but that could not be confirmed.

It's safe to say once the bus reached the garage, though, that they had to fumigate it with Lysol........

CNN has hit rock bottom----pandering to a felonious man-baby

We are learning that the 400+ attending Wednesday's CNN town hall disaster with Citizen Pampers were being coached on how to respond. No booing was allowed, although it was certainly warranted, given that the Oldest Baby in America lied non-stop, putting moderator Kaitlan Collins in a no-win situation.

No, what happened was that the floor manager the network sent to New Hampshire told the audience they were not allowed to boo, likely because of Trump's fragile, onionskin ego. The right wing dirtbags now in charge of CNN (i.e. David Zaslav, Chris Licht, John Malone) were pandering to this 70-something nut job. As Farron Cousins explains, CNN has lost his respect.

As Farron points out, since things were so much to the liking of Donald John Beavis Trump, the former president wants to do another town hall on CNN. The 43 year old network has hit rock bottom, catering to the whims of a narcissistic brat who never grew up. Problem is, the persistent lying on Wednesday leaves Trump open to another defamation lawsuit from E. Jean Carroll, to whom Trump now owes $5 million, despite his denials, and maybe more lawsuits from other parties.

I'd rather have Trump conduct his next town hall someplace where he can't control the audience. I recommend Bellevue.

Did the Hardy Boys really meet one of the 60's Avengers? (1978)

 If you thought having the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew meet up with some of TV's best known sleuths of the period in season 2 was novel, it was topped in season 3 when Frank & Joe (Parker Stevenson & Shaun Cassidy) travel to London when their father (Edmund Gilbert, no relation to ye scribe) disappears while on a case yet again.

While Patrick Macnee's character wasn't readily identified, there is a certain bowler hat and a umbrella/cane that also has a sword hidden inside, if you recall The Avengers back in the 60's. Known simply as Sir John, he lends the brothers a hand, along with Pernell Roberts (ex-Bonanza, a year away from Trapper John, MD). Radio & film star Dana Andrews (ex-I Was a Communist For The FBI) also appears in "Assault on The Tower":

Sources say this was an unofficial Avengers crossover. Producer Glen Larson must've been a fan, such that he also cast Macnee in an episode or two of Battlestar Galactica that same season. And, yeah, that's Jack Kelly (ex-Maverick, Sale of The Century) as their contact with the government, as seen in the open.

Rating: A-.

Sports this 'n' that

 This has to be seen to be believed:

Edit, 1/23/24: The video was deleted.

Seems the McCamey High catcher was having a bad day, and while she wasn't ejected for unsportsmanlike conduct (throwing the ball at the batter's head), this incident is still being investigated. We've seen parents go postal on umpires and opposing players, but this is just ridiculous. Suffice to say, McCamey was eliminated from the playoffs by losing the game.

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With NFL schedules being rolled out Thursday, some teams are doing some pretty odd things.

For example, the Chicago Bears called on superfan Seth Rollins from WWE to help with their presentation. Rollins (Colby Lopez) is a native of Davenport, Iowa, but a big time Bears (and we must assume also Cubs) fan. Not to be outdone, the Cleveland Browns got help from local native Michael "The Miz" Mizanin for an animated hype video that we'll post over at Saturday Morning Archives later on. Even though he calls LA home these days, Miz will wear his fandom for the Browns, Guardians, and Cavaliers forever.

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A week ago, some AEW wrestlers disrupted the Washington Nationals' Presidents Race in order to promote AEW being in the area. AEW International Champ Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, Kris Statlander, and Wheeler Yuta appeared to impede some of the costumed racers. 

AEW fans are taking this as a sign that Statlander, who has been on the injured list for months, might be ready to return.

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AEW/Ring of Honor wrestler Mark Briscoe shared the story the other day about why he & his late brother, Jay, never worked for WWE. Briscoe said that then-VP of talent John Lauriniatis said they were not "cosmetically pleasing". I guess the wrestler formerly known as Johnny Ace didn't know how to say or spell "telegenic', which would've made more sense.

Weasels of The Week: David Zaslav and some deranged 70-something

 Last night's CNN town hall special, designed for former president Donald John Beavis Trump, was exactly as bad as you'd think. Moderator Kaitlan Collins has been raked over the coals for not doing enough to rein in the Oldest Baby in America and put his feet to the fire over his persistent lying about, well, everything.

On the 2020 election:

"WAAAAAHHHHH! It was stolen! It was rigged! WAAAAAHHHH!"

No, it wasn't, Collins reminded, but Trump refused to admit he's wrong, because, well, of course not. The audience in New Hampshire was entirely made up of Republicans and on-the-fence undecided voters who sympathized with Citizen Pampers.

On E. Jean Carroll, and the fact that Trump is on the hook for $5 million for sexually abusing Carroll in a NYC department store and then lying about it, defaming her.

"WAAAAHHHH! I don't know her! WAAAAAHHHH!"

As noted, there are pictures that say otherwise. The Granite State partisans lapped it up like water. How could they be so ignorant of the facts?

CNN is getting trashed for going ahead and letting this garbage hour go on as planned. Why? Because Warner Discovery CEO David Zaslav, realizing Trump is, according to some polls, the GOP front runner for next year, wanted the ratings. There were some people calling for CNN executive Chris Licht to be let go after this debacle, but a sensible network executive would've said, screw the ratings, this guy (Trump) is toxic, we can't put him on after all. Keep in mind that Zaslav was programming this directly opposite one of his own sister networks (AEW Dynamite on TBS) AND former Trump press shill Kaylame McEnany on Fox No News. We knew about Zaslav's true colors a while ago, and it's pretty obvious he wants to position CNN to dethrone Fox No News as the #1 news channel in primetime. I wonder, though, if he was able to get his dog & pony show sponsored by Depends, Evenflo, Phillips Milk of Magnesia (now part of Bayer), Gerber, Dannon yogurt, and Trump's favorite drink, Diet Coke.

That being said, Zaslav & Trump get the Weasel ears this week.

A sex offender in denial, a serial liar gets nailed. What else could go wrong for the GOP?

 Federal authorities arrested NY Misrepresentative George "Pinocchio" Santos this morning on 13 counts of financial fraud, including embezzlement. Six months after being elected to Congress, Santos is now in danger of losing his seat, whether the Republican Party likes it or not. Santos ran on a platform that only Joe Isuzu or Pecos Bill would've been proud of, and now, it's come back to haunt him.

Then again, this comes less than 24 hours after another serial liar was found liable for defamation and sexually assaulting an advice columnist nearly 30 years ago.

Donald Trump is so deep in denial, he needs a riverboat to get back to shore. In a sore loser rant on Truthless Social Tuesday, Trump continues to claim he doesn't know E. Jean Carroll, and continues to deny anything that happened at Burgdorf Goodman on that fateful day in 1996.

"WWWAAHHHHH! I didn't do anything! I never met her! WAAAAHHH!"

There are pictures that say otherwise. Trump is on the hook for $5 million in total damages, and of course, he'll grift his gullible base to raise the money because he's so cheap. Judge Lewis Kaplan should stipulate that the money has to come from Trump himself, not his supporters, to ensure the sentence is carried out. Trump, unsurprisingly, says he'll appeal, but that's a waste of time.

Trump has other legal issues pending in NY, Atlanta, and Washington, and if the results are the same in those cases, there go his chances of getting back to the White House next year. As far as his denying ever meeting E. Jean Carroll, there is that picture shown to him where he got Carroll confused with Marla Maples. The denials are for show, to grift the base. It bothers him that, like Harvey Weinstein and the late Jeffrey Epstein, he's being held accountable for things that he wouldn't have 30-40 years ago. The rules have changed, and the captains of industry are slow to change along with them, Trump included.

With Santos' arrest, I'd not be surprised if there are more dominoes falling in Congress, with the likes of Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert going under the investigative microscope in due course.

And, so, the implosion of  the GOP begins.

The first domino falls in court for Donald Trump

 “If you look over the last million years, that’s what’s been largely true of the stars — unfortunately or fortunately.”---Donald Trump.

"Those who fail to remember history are condemned to repeat it."---George Santayana.

It doesn't matter if you're a captain of industry, as Trump was, or a pop culture legend, like Bill Cosby, in the 21st century, the famous are being held accountable for sexual assault and/or harassment against women.

Cosby did his time. His career was destroyed.

Harvey Weinstein did time.

Jeffrey Epstein died in his prison cell.

Television producer Andrew Kreigsberg, along with Weinstein, found out the hard way that the "casting couch" hiring system in Hollywood is no more.

England's Prince Andrew was irretrievably disgraced, and stripped of his royal duties.

And, now, Trump joins this list, after a NY civil jury found him liable for sexually assaulting advice columnist and former cable personality E. Jean Carroll at Burgdorf Goodman sometime in the 90's. Trump also was found liable for defamation, which may be a sign of things to come in other cases that are pending against him. It's widely believed that Trump will appeal the verdict, but there should be no appeal. Even after the verdict was read some 2 or so hours ago, he's still in denial, claiming on Truth Social that he "doesn't know" Carroll. This says otherwise:

Online commentators are in agreement that Trump will grift his base in order to raise the money, because he's too cheap to pay it himself out of his own pocket. However, this is just the first domino falling against Trump, who still has to answer for allegations that he tried to strongarm Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger to find non-existent votes after the 2020 election, as well as additional cases in NY & Washington, DC, the former of which figures to begin trial in early 2024.

Trump destroyed his own professional reputation prior to becoming president, when he let his inner bigot loose to cater to the suburban voters. Now, it would appear that his chances of gaining the GOP nomination in 2024 took a massive hit, one he's not going to recover from.

On The Shelf: Free Comic Book Day, part 2

 Let's take a look at another batch of Free Comic Book Day entries.

Fantagraphics is reintroducing older readers, and also introducing new readers, to underground legend Gilbert Shelton's most famous creations, The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, and, in the backup, Fat Freddy's Cat. Fantagraphics is gleefully boasting about the Freak Brothers predating the emergence of the likes of Cheech & Chong in relation to drug-centric humor. Definitely for mature readers. With the legalization of marijuana in many states, mostly for medicinal purposes, the humor here is not as relevant as they think.

Rating: None. Just not my jam.

Papercutz is marking the 65th anniversary of the Smurfs with a new graphic novel compilation. There's at least one or two stories in this volume that eventually were adapted for television in the 80's. The book is a little smaller than the average comic in terms of height (you'll see what I mean). Parents, your kids will love it.

Rating: A.

Golden Age hero Crimebuster, not to be confused with the DC hero from the 80's, is being rebooted by Comic House for the modern era. Not only that, but Chuck Chandler, Crimebuster's alter ego, is now much, much younger. If it was possible to make Lev Gleason & Charles Biro's go-to villain, Iron Jaw, scarier than ever, Comic House pulled it off beautifully.

Rating: A-.

The legendary Frank Frazetta has found a home at Opus Comics. Frazettaverse previews three different books in the line. This is one book that should've been kept far away from the little ones because of language and nudity, the latter in the first story in the volume. Mature readers only.

Rating: B.

Marvel has partnered with Mars Wrigley for a 1-shot featuring those M & M's mascots, except it seems this story was written before they added Purple. Mistaken Identity borrows a plot idea from a classic Sherlock Holmes novel (and if you don't know which one, I'm embarrassed for you), but with six "detectives" on the case. Silly fun.

Rating: A+.

Marvel is also teaming with Disney Junior for a 1-shot comics & activity book based on Spidey & His Amazing Friends. Here, a female version of Dr. Octopus factors into two short stories. The format is similar, slightly to Spidey Super Stories, a spin-off from the original Electric Company that ran in comics form longer than it did on TV (the book was cancelled in 1981-2). And they say Marvel doesn't want to do comedy?

Rating: For the target audience: A+. For the rest of us, A.

Tom Scioli's latest biography chronicles the life of Marvel legend Stan Lee. If you thought you knew everything, Scioli takes you all the way back to Stan's earliest days during the Golden Age. The complete tome isn't due until September.

Rating: A.

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Fans of Netflix's Disenchantment, while they're waiting for part 5, which would start season 3, can check out more than 500 pages of unpublished story & art in a graphic novel collection coming from Titan in September. Series creator Matt Groening (The Simpsons, Futurama, Life is Hell) closed down Bongo Comics a while ago after the end of Simpsons Comics and its associated series, so it'll be great to see his creations back in print.

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On a lark, I picked up a Batman Beyond trade paperback, dating back to the New 52 era or earlier. Unfortunately, "Batgirl Beyond", the story that is supposed to be the central entry in this volume, shows up in the center of the tome instead, sandwiched around unrelated reprints scattershot throughout. Maybe, if fans want it, a compendium might put everything in order and perspective, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Rating: C-.

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Unfortunately, for readers in the 518, we have to close on a sad note.

As Albany's Earthworld Comics marks 40 years of business this year, owner JC Glindmyer, who acquired the store in 1988, passed away due to heart issues on Monday. Do yourselves a favor, pilgrims, and drop a sympathy card at Earthworld on Central Avenue. They'll thank you for it.

Origin of a Classic: The Family (1973)

 One of the most popular sketches on The Carol Burnett Show was The Family, which premiered during season 7 (1973-4). Burnett & Harvey Korman played Eunice & Ed Higgins, who always seemed to be squabbling. And, then, there was Mama, as played by Vicki Lawrence, who, ironically, was the youngest cast member.

If you've seen the infomercials hawking a Burnett DVD collection, you've probably seen a clip of Mama scolding Eunice by telling her that "you've got splinters in the windmills of your mind".

30 sketches, all written by the veteran team of Dick Clair & Jenna McMahon, aired between 1973-8, and the last was in a short-lived revival a couple of years after Burnett left CBS. Mama's Family, starring Lawrence, launched on NBC in 1983, then moved into syndication from 1986-90.

From 1974, Mama, Eunice, & Ed play Sorry!:

Ya know, I can relate as far as Sorry! goes, because I actually had that game as a youth. Like Monopoly, it takes forever to finish.

I've caught up with these sketches via Carol Burnett & Friends, currently on Me-TV.

Rating: A-.

A lecture on beer in a disco? (1978)

 How's this for an odd couple?

The master of malaprops, Norm Crosby (The Comedy Shop), meets up with Steve Landesberg (Barney Miller) at a disco, of all places, to shill for Natural Light. 

Yeah, it does seem Steve is in character as Det. Arthur Dietrich, the 12th Precinct's resident know-it-all, but not really.

On The Shelf: Some old friends return, and part 1 of Free Comic Book Day '23

 Before we dive into this year's Free Comic Book Day haul, let's check some recent releases.

Several years ago, when Steve Rogers gave up the role of Captain America in a convoluted plotline, he'd suit up as simply The Captain for a few months before reclaiming the red, white, & blue.

Comics historian Mark Waid thought it'd be a good idea, since DC's unable to actually use Captain Marvel, to rechristen Billy Batson's super-powered adult self as The Captain.

This is one of the changes in the first issue of an all-new Shazam! series, which launched last week. This new series is spun from the recent Lazarus Planet event, but things are happening that no one would've seen coming beforehand.

For example, the seven entities that make up the name Shazam, including the Biblical king-prophet Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, & Mercury, referred to as "The Elders" on the live-action Shazam! series nearly 50 years ago, are not happy with the way Billy is comporting himself as The Captain, and decide to do something about it, and if it makes The Captain look bad, so be it.

Ugh. And there's a mini-series co-starring Wonder Woman that's also on the way. I'd rather see The Captain vs. classic enemies like Dr. Sivana, Mr. Mind, and Ibac, not get in the crosshairs of the gods of Greek myth.

Rating: C-.

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Green Arrow is back, too, in a 6-issue miniseries by the increasingly busy Joshua Williamson, illustrated by Sean Izaakse, a relative newcomer that I'm not familiar with.

Long story short, Oliver Queen's extended family reunites, now including Roy Harper's daughter, Lian (with Cheshire), but it doesn't last, as Lian joins Ollie in another dimension that won't let them go home after a happy reunion with Roy. Lian, as Cheshire Cat, has appeared in the pages of Catwoman of late. There are other surprises, like villains we haven't seen in years. Sci-fi elements aside, this looks more like my bag.

Rating: A-.

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55 years ago, Adam Warlock, then known as Him, debuted in the pages of Fantastic Four. Since then, Roy Thomas, Jim Starlin, and others have refined the character into what he is today. However, he is not as unique as you think.

Warlock: Rebirth marks the return of Adam, along with Pip the troll, and sexy Gamora (from Guardians of The Galaxy), as well as Eve Warlock, formerly known as Her, who debuted in Marvel 2-in-1 (1st series), reimagined as a prospective replacement for Adam. Well, we'll see about that. A pair of guys named Ron---Marz & Lim----are the geniuses behind this one, but one wonders if Starlin ever envisioned something like this.

Rating: A-.

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While Marvel let another license for Conan The Barbarian lapse, they reacquired the rights to Planet of The Apes as part of the new 20th Century Studios imprint. David F. Walker's tale is one of a relationship between apes & humans that, at first, parallels the COVID-19 pandemic of 2020-3 because of misplaced blame, paranoia, and hostility, except, in Walker's story the simian flu epidemic is still raging, and that's bad news.

Rating: A.

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May is Asian American-Pacific Islander Heritage Month. To mark the occasion, DC is launching a trio of miniseries, starting with Spirit World, out this week. This series, along with City Boy & The Vigil, also spin out of Lazarus Planet. Batgirl (Cassandra Cain) co-stars with Xanthe, one of the new faces of DC, and so does John Constantine, because of the supernatural themes.

The Vigil is a new superhuman team which, continuing with the ties to the Bat-franchise, meets Red Hood while trying to shut down a smuggling operation. In turn, City Boy, Greg Pak's latest creation, meets Nightwing, and, ultimately will cross paths with the Batman. Interesting stuff. These might be trade-waiters.

This We Are Legends special breaks down thus:

Spirit World: B.

The Vigil: A-.

City Boy: B-.

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Now, let's move on to Free Comic Book Day, and take a look at the first batch of freebies.

As noted, Conan The Barbarian moves to Titan Comics, starting in July. Marvel veteran Jim Zub, who'd worked on the franchise during its last run at Marvel, follows the Cimmerian to Titan. The publisher pays homage to Marvel by assigning nicknames to the creative staff, including editor "Merciless" Matt Murray. Stan Lee would be proud. Conan marked his 90th anniversary last year, and Zub starts things off with a story that has no speech balloons. It's all narrative dialogue, as Conan doesn't talk at all. That'll change in the 1st issue, you can bank on it.

Rating: A-.

Remember Sweet Valley High, when Francine Pascal's series of youth novels was adapted by Haim Saban for syndication in the 90's? Welp, Random House's new comics imprint is serving up Sweet Valley Twins, set in middle school, and, as such, intended for young ladies at that level. Sisters Elizabeth & Jessica have to prepare for a ballet recital, which disrupts Jessica's weekend plans. This is a preview of the graphic novel, Teacher's Pet.

Next thing ya know, Random House will start publishing comics based on the works of Dr. Seuss, their most famous licensee. Maybe.

Rating: B.

Archie Comics' horror line laid another egg with The Cursed Library, an anthology volume starring Jinx Holliday, formerly known as L'il Jinx, but now a teenager. The Cursed Library collects material from 3 recent 1-offs, Betty: The Final Girl, The Cult of That Wilkin Boy, & Pop's Chock'lit Shop of Horrors. I'd read the last two online on a free comics site, and was unimpressed. Here we go:

"Rosemary's Babysitter" (from Betty: The Final Girl): The title of the 1-shot implies a send-up of slasher movies, done with everyone's favorite girl next door. Mical Ostow comes up with a weird twist ending that no one sees coming, kind of like those DC or Marvel mystery shorts from back in the day. This might've been the best of the lot. B.

"Night Shift" (from Pop's Chock'lit Shop of Horrors): Kevin Keller is a new employee at Pop's, but this ain't the Pop's your parents remember, no sir. Too short, and too wack for words. D.

The Cult of That Wilkin Boy preview: This 1-shot was already out in time for FCBD. Cullen "Hot Cross" Bunn reimagines Bingo Wilkin as a successful rocker who made a deal with the devil, and he wants out of it. No one took Bingo seriously when he had his own book from the 60's to around 1982-3, or when he was retconned as being Jughead's cousin. I think you know where Bunn is going with Bingo's confrontation with a rival....! B-.

The Cursed Library overall gets a B-.

The video game Animal Crossing has been adapted into a manga for Viz Comics, with a backup feature starring 80's video game icon Kirby. For grade schoolers.

Rating: B.

One of DC's cornerstone events of their new Dawn of DC initiative is Knight Terrors, in which heroes & villains alike are pulled into their worst imaginable nightmares. Joshua Williamson is the mastermind behind this, with Chris Bachalo among the artists. I liked the idea of Damian Wayne trying to fight his way out, but in vain. I'm not digging the concept otherwise.

Rating: B--.

What happens when the X-Men & Avengers unite on a team? In Uncanny Avengers, readers are meant to get the best of both, coming out of this year's Hellfire Gala event. Cyclops took on the identity of Captain Krakoa after the original X-Man had seemingly perished, but now someone else is using the Captain Krakoa guise for more sinister purposes. This and Iron Man-inspired giant robots? No sale.

Rating: B--.

A preview of Jonathan Hickman's Gods, starring Dr. Strange, is the backup feature. Meh. B.

The annual Spider-Man/Venom FCBD special is no different from any past year. Spidey is pulled into a trap set by Kraven the Hunter and Dr. Octopus. Nothing new. Venom's new challenge is a bizarre symbiote introduced in 1940, of all places. Like, seriously? Nothing says overexposed like this. C.

The final entry is a preview of Ultimate Invasion, from Hickman & Bryan Hitch. Too bad they didn't devote enough space to this. B.

If you recall Star Trek: The Next Generation, you were introduced to Worf's son, Alexander. In 2023, Alexander now sees his father as some sort of traitor, as the Klingons are back to being a antagonistic warrior race. IDW is producing a new Trek miniseries, Day of Blood, which reignites the war between the Klingons and the Federation. Christopher Cantwell, Jackson Lanzing, & Colin Kelly, who are all working on other projects for Marvel, collaborate on this one. Day of Blood arrives in July. 

Rating: A.

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There's more stuff, coming, of course, after a haul of 2nd day remainders today. Back with more next time.

Donald Trump still claims to be a Christian. The facade is crumbling!

 Part of the elaborate con that Donald Trump has pulled over the last 8 years (and maybe longer) is snow-jobbing Christians into thinking he's one of them. He hardly is.

Consider the E. Jean Carroll case, for example, barreling toward its conclusion, likely next week. Trump refused to show up to face his accuser in person. Christians don't do that. They played the infamous Access Hollywood tape from 2005, where he bragged that he could get away with sexually assaulting women because of his celebrity status. Yeah, sure, and pigs will fly. Once he realized that his lead attorney, Joe Tacopina, practically destroyed his own reputation by rumblin', bumblin', and stumblin' (apologies to Chris Berman) through his cross-examination of Carroll, Trump decided to cut short his golf vacation in Ireland, having already been to Scotland, and return to New York, where closing arguments begin on Monday. In other words, he didn't want to be there in the first place, and Judge Lewis Kaplan is calling his bluff!!

Trump had his chance, and he passed. Chances are, that selfish decision alone will cost him dearly.

Trust me. A local TV or radio personality would lose his career within days if it got out that he did the things Trump allegedly did. 

And, then, in a pre-recorded interview with the Victory Channel, Trump tried to again work his shell game with the Christians, as if they don't know about the various legal issues he has in Washington, New York, and Atlanta. Jesse Dollemore talks about this.

The house of cards is falling. Trump is still trying to convince people he will be able to run next year for President, but it's looking like that ain't happening, if everything plays out like the Carroll case.

You know what Trump is getting, of course. Another Dunce Cap.

A local pastor talks about Christians leaving "baggage" at the cross when they accept Christ as their savior. I think we can safely conclude Trump hasn't, and is trying to have his cake and eat it, too. To paraphrase an old cliche, a fool and his brains are soon parted. Trump is that fool in this case.

What Might've Been: TLC (1984)

 Sitcoms about niche schools have not fared too well.

For example, ABC was fortunate to get two seasons out of Detective School (One Flight Up) with Randolph Mantooth & James Gregory.

In 1984, NBC had an unsold pilot from One Day at a Time producers Dick Bensfield & Perry Grant, set at a nursing school in Philadelphia. Unfortunately, TLC was burned off in the summer of '84, as network executives held to the belief that no one wanted a sitcom at a nursing school, especially when it's populated by a cast of mostly unknowns. The only familiar names in the cast were Jessica Walter, Jere Fields (ex-Curiosity Shop), and Cathy Silvers (Phil's daughter), fresh from Happy Days. TLC came from Embassy, the same studio that had a monster hit for the network with The Facts of Life, and if they were trying to duplicate the success of Facts, it went nowhere, fast.

Philadelphia, as a setting for sitcoms, completed the then-network trifecta, after two seasons each of The Tony Randall Show (ABC/CBS) and Angie (ABC). The current FX series, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, with Danny DeVito, may be the most successful series set in the City of Brotherly Love.

Here's TLC:

No rating. Didn't even know this existed until today.

When GOPers bring the stupid

 It's already well known that President Biden will not be attending the official coronation of King Charles III, and that his wife, Dr. Jill Biden, will be there in his stead. It has been a tradition that American Presidents have shied away from these ceremonies.

Donald Trump was one of those presidents, and he's throwing shade on Biden for not going.

"WAAAH! He's being disrespectful! WAAAAH!"

Actually, Diaper Don, if that's the standard, then the shoe would be on the other foot if you were still president. Trump's juvenile whining about Biden is standard operating procedure, but, if he decided he wanted to go, I doubt they'd let him into the country, after seeing what kind of a irresponsible, immature brat he still is at 76.

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As Biden's son, Hunter, is being investigated, Georgia Misrepresentative Marjorie Taylor Greene is teasing articles of impeachment against the elder Biden.

Sorry, but it doesn't fall under "high crimes & misdemeanors", Empty-G, so step off!!

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The continuing misadventures of Greene and Colorado airhead Lauren Boebert should serve as proof that in order to qualify to run for Congress, you need a college education. A GED, which Boebert has after dropping out of high school, isn't enough. It doesn't help that Boebert actually admitted she barely understands the governmental structure she's working in.

Clearly, she should've stayed in school.

And to claim that AR-15's are a sort of hole puncher, as it said on a t-shirt she was shilling, the other day?  It makes you wonder if she bought that GED.....

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Florida Misrepresentative Matt Gaetz had a woman arrested after she spilled a drink on him at a wine tasting recently. He tried to claim that it was "battery", but it's not even close.

What a wimp. Someone check and see if he has the Diary of a Wimpy Kid book series hidden at home.

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The Albany Times-Union's Chris Churchill devoted his column today to the silence coming from Schuylerville's Elise Stefanik after some Rensselaer County GOPers are facing fraud charges. She's not even coming to the defense of Richard Crist, James "Don't Call me Commissioner" Gordon, or even Jason Schofield, which says that she wants to put the 518 in her rear-view mirror as she angles for a higher national profile. Actually, shirking responsibility to the party at home ain't helping your cause, Elise. The state GOP might want to have a word with you.

Donald Trump loses his lawsuit vs. the NY Times. A harbinger of things to come

 A few years ago, the New York Times did a Pulitzer Prize-winning expose on the tax fraud committed by the Trump family, dating back to patriarch Fred Trump. Donald Trump sued the iconic newspaper and his niece, Mary. And while the issue with Mary hasn't been settled, the case against the Times has, and it's bad news for the Oldest Baby in America.

We'll let Michael Popok of Meidas Touch explain:

While this case has been under the headlines with the other issues Trump is facing, the fact that the judge ruled in favor of the Times is a sign of things to come. And you know what the reaction is going to be at Mar-a-Lame-O:

"WAAAHHHH!!!!! I don't wanna pay up! WAAAAAAHHHH!!"

It would not be in Trump's best interests to have overworked attorney Alina Habba-Dabba-Doo file an appeal. That hasn't been working lately. And it's looking like E. Jean Carroll may get her payday next.........