Names making news

 Two days before the New Hampshire primary, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has withdrawn from the GOP race for president, leaving just former president Donald John Narcissus Trump, professional bully, and former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley, competing for the nomination, which most media types have presumed will end up with the Orange Bloviator.

"Maybe next time."

DeSantis, like Vivek Ramaswamy before him, endorsed the oldest baby in America.

So, it begs to ask. Why does Trump, with more felony charges than Baskin Robbins and Heinz have flavors combined, still curry favor with GOP voters?

It's because the suburban voters, including those in the district of 518 traitor Elise Stefanik, have bought into Trump's facade that he is a fighter, an illusory image that has been there from the go. Stefanik bought in to advance her career. They ignore the fact that the image crumbles with the very real visual of Trump, whining all the way, having a public temper tantrum on a seemingly daily basis. Of course, he'll take a victory lap, and brag, exaggerating as he goes, on Truthless Social, but if he thinks he's got it easy on Tuesday with just Haley challenging him, think again.

Meanwhile, Fox No News drone Laura Inkblot called for DeSantis to drop out of the race. The Archduke of Affluenza has regained his coveted favored nation status with Fox No News, as witnessed by an interview he gave to Spam Hannity last week.

But, what happens if Trump ends up convicted in any of his criminal trials that could conclude before the GOP genuflection conference in August?

That question will be answered then, to be sure.

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House Speaker Mike Johnson is on the hot seat. What a shock.

After Johnson announced that he and the Democrats were able to further delay a government shutdown, which extremist GOPers like Rusty Gaetz, Empty-G, Goofy Gosar, and others, have demanded, because of their own stupidity, they turned on Johnson, and have threatened to have him ousted as speaker, three months after he was selected to replace Kevin McCarthy. It bothers these screwballs that Johnson was using logic and common sense to come to an agreement. The GOP extremists want the government shut down to put pressure on President Biden. What purpose would that serve?

If the government is shut down, no government employee gets paid, and guess what? That includes Empty-G, Gaetz, and the rest of the idiot squad. They're hating on Johnson because of the simple fact that he did something they don't want to do. He thought things out.

In other words, he made them look like exactly what they are. Morons.

As the popular phrase of the moment goes, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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On Friday in Moline, Illinois, Disturbed frontman David Draiman gave fellow singer Taylor Swift her props, and fans at the show weren't having it, which led them to be scolded by Draiman. Maybe some of these folks are still salty over T-Swizzle teaming with 80's metal icons Def Leppard for an episode of CMT Crossroads back in 2008. Good on Draiman to set them straight.

Draiman should be getting an invitation to join Taylor in the studio real soon.

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After the Philadelphia Eagles were eliminated Monday from the NFL playoffs, center Jason Kelce had to deflect rumors that he was set to retire. Not yet, he says.

I think that before he does retire, and he wants to leave Philadelphia, Kelce could consider joining brother Travis in Kansas City to finish his career. Jason earned his first commercial endorsement this season, teaming with Travis to pitch Campbell's Chunky Soup, while Travis can also be seen in ads for DirecTV, Pfizer, and State Farm, among others.

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The last thing WWE needed, with the Royal Rumble right around the corner, was to lose a key player to an injury.

World champion Seth Rollins tore his meniscus and a partial tear of an MCL ligament in a match on January 15 vs. Jinder Mahal. Rollins spent the 2nd half of 2023 competing despite some back issues that would've otherwise required him to miss some time. He'll address the WWE fans to open Monday Night Raw to discuss his options. He's likely to have to sit out a few weeks, and still be ready for a big money match at Wrestlemania in April vs. CM Punk. He wouldn't have had the leg injuries if he actually took care of his back (not 100% storyline) when he actually needed to. Just sayin'.