Names making news

 It's official. Governor Kathy Hochul will run for a formal election in November after blowing away the Democratic primary field on Tuesday. 

On the other side, Long Island Rep. Lee Zeldin defeated three challengers, including Andrew Goofiani, to claim the GOP nod. All of this was expected. Goofiani flushed his chances due to his father's rumblin', bumblin', and stumblin' on the campaign trail (apologies to Chris Berman), culminating in exaggerating what had happened at a ShopRite in Staten Island Saturday that may cost a store employee his job.

For Zeldin to end a long GOP drought in the Executive Mansion, he has to do one important thing, even if he doesn't believe he needs to. He has to denounce Donald Trump!!

That's right. Zeldin, more than anyone in the state GOP, has to move on from the 2020 election, and the Archduke of Affluenza. For the GOP to be taken seriously again, they need to begin the post-Trump era yesterday. 

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Meanwhile, Colorado misrepresentative Lauren BowWow offered the possibility that she might've skipped a few history classes when she was in school, suggesting that the church should "direct" the government. She's pandering to the evangelicals still enthralled in what is now a pointless deference to Citizen Pampers.

Farron Cousins explains:

President Biden is a practicing Catholic, as was the late John F. Kennedy, 60 years ago. Donald Trump conned evangelicals and secular citizens alike, and for all we know has an allergic reaction to holy water. He nervously held a Bible upside down for a photo op he shouldn't have needed 2 years ago. There have been true Christians in the White House (Jimmy Carter, the Bushes). Lauren, unfortunately, thinks Trump is a legit Christian, but when was the last time the Tangerine Turncoat actually walked into a church? Why do you think Tiffany is having her wedding at Mar-a-Lago?

If Lauren was a high school dropout, it's not too late for a GED.

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If the testimony of Cassidy Hutchinson, an aide to Trump Chief of Staff "Easy" Mark Meadows, is to be believed, America's Oldest Baby actually wanted to be a part of the insurrection after all, only to be rebuffed by the Secret Service. Not only that, but documentarian Alex Holder's footage reveals that Team Pampers began plotting to steal the election mere weeks before the election actually took place. Holder has video evidence of Stupid E (Eric) reminding someone on the (cell) phone to vote in Florida instead of "someplace else". Alleged strategist Steve Bannon, who looks more like he's forgotten how to play chess in his old age, based on photos, went so far as to give an interview declaring Trump would be in the White House on January 20, 2021, which, of course, didn't happen.

All this tells us is that the GOP, while Trump was president, lost its collective spine, and some of them still haven't recovered their individual ones.