What Might've Been: The Phantom (1961)

 After launching the animated division of his King Features TV arm, Al Brodax went to live action with a 1961 pilot for Lee Falk's The Phantom. This was included in a video compilation of unsold pilots I once had that also included a pair we've previously reviewed, Archie and The Shadow.

Stuntman Roger Creed was cast as The Phantom and his alter ego, Kit Walker, known as Mr. Walker here. Our cast also includes Reginald Denny, Paulette Goddard, and Lon Chaney, Jr. (ex-Hawkeye & The Last of The Mohicans). Chaney was doing quite a bit of television in those days.

Yes, the video quality isn't too good, but this is what I had to deal with. Chaney is fine, as is Goddard. Creed? Not so much. Awkward mount on the horse, and I'm not sure if he did much acting otherwise, other than being a stuntman.

Rating: C.

Baseball this 'n' that

 Ballplayers have sung the "Star Spangled Banner" prior to games, most famously by Dwight Smith, Sr. when he was with the Cubs back in the day.

Make room for St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright.

Video courtesy Bally Sports Midwest & Major League Baseball.

Wainwright, who is, in fact, retiring after this season, will mark the occasion by releasing a country music album. I wonder if he got the idea from recently retired ump and country singer Joe West......!

Oh, by the way, St. Louis lost, 10-9, to Toronto.

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Both of last year's World Series teams fell in defeat on Thursday as well.

Houston dropped a 3-2 decision to the Chicago White Sox, as Yordan Alvarez's solo shot in the 9th wasn't quite enough.

Earlier, in Arlington, the Philadelphia Phillies spoiled Jacob deGrom's Rangers debut, knocking him out in the 4th inning in going to an early 5-0 lead. Unfortunately, the Phillies' pen is still poison, as the newest Phillie, Gregory Soto (Detroit) was tagged with the loss as Texas came back to win, 11-7. Par for the course for deGrom, who had more no decisions than wins with the Mets the last few years.

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The Mets, on the other hand, got good & bad news on Thursday.

The bad: Justin Verlander's NL debut will have to wait, as he is on the IL with an injury. Tylor Megill will be recalled from Syracuse to make the start at Miami on Saturday.

The good: Max Scherzer went 6 in his season opener, and while his defense coughed up an early 3-0 lead, the offense made up for it with 2 runs in the 7th, and David Robertson (Cubs/Philadelphia) closed out a 5-2 win. The Mets, in their history, are a ridiculous 41-21 on Opening Day.

What really cost Miami was their peabrained decision to put Jazz Chisholm, Jr. in the outfield. In that 7th inning, Chisholm got torched on a double by Brandon Nimmo, driving in the winning runs. 

No truth to the rumor that new Miami manager Skip Schumaker replaced Billy the Marlin with a team of elves as the Marlins' mascot(s).

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The most annoying thing Thursday was MLB Network's sudden obsession with Angels ace/DH Shohei Ohtani.

In the run-up to the season opener vs. Oakland, every time they cut away to Oakland, they resorted to changing their "Ballpark Cam" to "Ohtani Cam". Look, we get it. Ohtani figures to be a major free agent after the season, but this joke will get run into the ground if they insist on using it all season.

It must have been a bad omen, since Oakland, with newly acquired Kyle Muller (Atlanta) defeated the Angels.

Dunce Cap Award: Matt Gaetz (and friends)

 What is it with Republicans that they have to insist on lying to justify their decisions?

Take, for example, Florida Misrepresentative Matt "Rusty" Gaetz, who recently hired a man, Derrick Miller, to be an adviser on military matters. Miller did time for murder while serving in Afghanistan, but Gaetz, whose tiny brain can't comprehend that, is claiming Miller was railroaded. Never mind the fact that Miller was paroled, and spent some time as an assistant to Screwy Louie Gohmert of Texas.

Farron Cousins explains why Gaetz made this boneheaded decision.

Well, we already know Gaetz is a pandering twit, gaslighting the veterans living in his district to sell them on his hiring Miller. The fibs his office issued in a statement, read above by Farron, illustrate just how stupid Gaetz is, along with his staff and his gullible base.

You know what Gaetz gets for this:

We can't have them made in the shape of beanies, otherwise it'd be a perfect fit. And, yeah, his flacks get Dunce Caps, too.

The beginning of the end?

 When I logged on after coming home from work, the news was a pleasant surprise.

A grand jury in NYC has voted in favor of indicting former president Donald Trump for his hush money payment to adult film star Stormy Daniels (Stephanie Clifford). Predictably, Trump and his enablers in the GOP are railing against the decision.

Rather than say anything further, we'll kick it over to CBS News. This is from their YouTube channel.

Disbarred attorney Michael Cohen, who has already done time in prison for his part in the scandal, spoke to MSNBC. The usual online pundits, such as Brian Tyler Cohen, Jesse Dollemore, and, likely as this is being written, Farron Cousins, have weighed in. This will be the lead story on the late news across the country, and well into Friday morning, nearly 2 weeks after Trump had falsely claimed that he was to be indicted three days later. It turned out, the indictment came nine days after Trump's assumed date.

The reaction from the oldest baby in America? Predictable:

"WAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I'm innocent! I'm being framed! Send me money! WAAAAHHHH!!"

Trump now holds the dubious distinction of being the first former president to be indicted on criminal charges ever. It never happened to Richard Nixon or Bill Clinton, or even Andrew Johnson. Trump, whose obsession with the spotlight has helped turn him from a media icon in New York in the 80's into a political neophyte turned pariah, will continue to whine and cry, claiming his perpetual victimhood, but it's soon going to end. In the wake of today's news, it's likely we'll hear the same thing coming out of Georgia. No amount of threats of violence from his brainwashed followers can save him this time. Today's decision demonstrates that no man, no matter who he is, is above the law.

WWE presents its smallest Hall of Fame class in years

 On Friday, Wrestlemania weekend kicks off in earnest with the annual Hall of Fame induction in Los Angeles, airing live on Peacock. Including the annual Warrior Award, only 5 people are going into the Hall this year, the smallest class since the earliest days of the Hall's existence.

Warrior Award: Former referee Tim White will be one of two posthumous inductions. White passed away just a couple of years ago, and in addition to his years of service as a referee, he also hosted angles at his Providence, Rhode Island club, the Friendly Tap, and was a backstage aide to the late Andre The Giant, whom he now joins in the Hall.

Celebrity Wing: Actor-comedian Andy Kaufman (ex-Taxi) never set foot in a WWF/E ring, but his regional feud with Memphis legend Jerry Lawler became the stuff of legend in 1982-3, and the subject of a documentary, "I'm From Hollywood", that made the rounds on Comedy Central a few years back. A lifelong fan, Kaufman also filmed a short movie with Fred Blassie, "My Breakfast With Blassie". Reportedly, Lawler, who has been recovering from some health issues of his own, will make the trip to LA to induct Kaufman.

Retired:

Keiji Muto, aka The Great Muta, retired earlier this year in his native Japan, and has appeared for every major American promotion except one. Yep, Friday will mark his WWE debut. Muto, as Muta, made his American debut in the National Wrestling Alliance for World Championship Wrestling in 1989.

Stacy Keibler went from being a NFL cheerleader for her hometown Baltimore Ravens to a hot commodity with WCW from 1999-2001, and then transitioned to WWF/E from 2001-6. 

Active:

Rey Mysterio, on the eve of a father-son clash with son Dominic at Wrestlemania, will enter the Hall as the headliner. Not only is Mysterio a Grand Slam champion (WWE/US/Intercontinental/tag titles), but he also held the WWE & WCW versions of the Cruiserweight title.

This year's class came together over the course of the last few weeks, a departure from past classes, due likely to a continuing transition within the company from Executive Chairman and head nutcase Vince McMahon to Paul "Triple H" Levesque, who retired from competition last year, and was assumed to be heading this year's class. Maybe next year.

Classic TV: M Squad (1957)

 Lee Marvin had already begun to build an impressive resume as a movie actor. However, in 1957, he found his breakout role on television in M Squad, which his production company co-produced with Revue for NBC.

Marvin starred as Det.-Lt. Frank Ballinger, head of the title division of the Chicago PD. The series ran for three seasons, and for two of those seasons, jazz legend Count Basie composed the music. Long time Revue/Universal music supervisor Stanley Wilson composed the 1st season theme.

While the series is readily available on DVD, it's been a long time since it'd aired on TV. I remember when WWOR subbed in this series during the Syndex period in the 90's, when the station was forced to black out series airing in syndication in local markets outside of NYC.

Let's take a look at a sample episode, with guest stars Mike Connors, DeForest Kelley, and Bobby Driscoll ("Peter Pan", "Song of The South").

The open has been edited off for copyright reasons.

Marvin's movie career got a boost after the series ended, with films like "The Dirty Dozen", "Paint Your Wagon", and "Cat Ballou". NBC missed an opportunity to include him in network retrospectives in the 60's, 70's, and 80's.

Rating: A.

Weasel of The Week: Care to take a guess?

 In the wake of a school shooting in Nashville on Monday, conservatives have gone out of their way to deflect attention away from another call for gun law reforms and to ban certain forms of assault weapons to instead scapegoat the LGBTQ+ community as a whole because the slain shooter, Audrey Hale, 28, a Nashville native, was transgender.

Senator Josh Hee-Hawley of Missouri, without evidence to back up his assertions (as usual) tried to claim this was a hate crime. No, it wasn't, jackass. I'll explain why shortly.

Georgia Misrepresentative Empty-G (Marjorie Taylor Greene) is whining about a rumored protest, also reported by Fox No News, set to take place on April Fool's Day (Saturday) in front of the Supreme Court building in Washington. Empty-G still thinks Antifa is an actual organization, and is blaming Antifa for the protests. Empty-G got her Congressional Twitter account suspended for a week for her anti-trans remarks, which were deleted.

Would someone give this woman a clue?

Fox No News' Tabloid Carlson claimed, again without any evidence to support his claims, that transgenders are the "natural enemy" of Christians. No, they're not, dimwit.

Unlike morons like Carlson, Hee-Hawley, and Empty-G, I actually do go to church. The Bible tells us that Jesus' basic message was about love, something that is lost with these conservative peabrains who pander to a voter/viewer base that is under-informed on a variety of issues.

Audrey Hale, it is said, had some psych issues, and could not get the help she needed. What we don't know is if she actively sought help. As has been the case with many shooters, Hale resorted to a mass shooting as a last resort to call attention to her plight. It was only after Hale was identified as trans that the GOPers got their pitchforks out, ignorant of all details. As for Hee-Hawley's claim of a hate crime, the door for that argument closed upon Hale's death.

If Hee-Hawley, Empty-G, and the rest of the GOP Idiot Brigade actually cared about their jobs and the voters, instead of using their positions to be famous for the sake of same, we might actually get something done in Washington. Along with Tabloid Carlson, the silver-spooned jackass, they get the Weasel ears this week.

A week of self-congratulation: CBS On The Air (1978)

 CBS marked 50 years on the air, between radio & television, with a week-long miniseries that was more about self-congratulation than anything else.

However, CBS On The Air, despite all the star power, had its flaws. The miniseries united the news & entertainment departments. How else could you see veteran newsman Bob Schieffer virtually rubbing shoulders with Isabel Sanford (The Jeffersons)? On the other hand, a fair number of iconic series were not represented at all. Ed Sullivan had passed on some time earlier, and, if memory serves me, so did Rod Serling (The Twilight Zone). They threw a bone to daytime, inviting game show hosts Bert Convy (Tattletales), Gene Rayburn (Match Game), and Bob Barker, whose Price is Right might've started a new string of primetime specials by that point. Of course, Barker was also the go-to host for the Miss USA & Miss Universe pageants back then. Bill Cosby was there more for a short-lived 1972 variety show than his iconic Saturday morning series, Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids. Bob Keeshan (Captain Kangaroo) carried the flag for children's television.

But who was missing? That's actually fairly easy:

Eddie Albert (Switch, ex-Green Acres). 

Richard Boone (ex-Have Gun, Will Travel).

Raymond Burr (ex-Perry Mason).

Bob Crane (ex-Hogan's Heroes). Crane would pass away three months after this miniseries ended.

Ken Curtis (ex-Gunsmoke).

Bill Bixby (The Incredible Hulk, ex-My Favorite Martian).

Lou Ferrigno (The Incredible Hulk).

Jackie Gleason.

Peter Graves (ex-Mission: Impossible).

Larry Hagman (Dallas was either in production or had started its first season).

Guy Lombardo, Mr. New Year's Eve at CBS.

Allen Ludden (Password was less than a year away from returning----on NBC).

And that just scratches the surface. While June Lockhart was there with Lassie, she and announcer Dick Tufeld were the lone cast members from Lost in Space. Buddy Ebsen was recognized for both Barnaby Jones and The Beverly Hillbillies. We have to assume Switch and Hulk were in production when this was being taped.

Mary Tyler Moore & Walter Cronkite were the lead hosts.

The following video is incomplete, missing some segments due to copyrights or lost tape or somesuch. There will be no rating.

NBC had already done specials to mark 40 (1966) & 50 years (1976), and would do a 60 year salute in 1986. ABC would follow suit with salutes of their own. CBS had the formula, but it got a wee bit bloated, don't you think?

When Icons Meet: Clint Eastwood on Mister Ed (1962)

 From season 2 of Mister Ed:

As the series wraps its 1st season on CBS (2nd overall), Clint Eastwood (Rawhide) appears as himself, and helps Wilbur (Alan Young) and Roger Addison (Larry Keating) with a community play. Donna Douglas, in the last of three pre-Beverly Hillbillies appearances, and her 2nd for the season, is cast as Clint's girlfriend. Kathleen Freeman plays Clint's maid.

This was the next-to-last episode of the season. Donna Douglas was not the only Hillbillies cast member to appear during this season, as Nancy Kulp and Raymond Bailey appeared separately.

Rating: B.

Wisconsin schools to 1st graders: Rainbowland is not for you

A Wisconsin elementary school was planning on using Miley Cyrus' 2017 duet with her god-mother, Dolly Parton, "Rainbowland", during a spring concert scheduled in May. Unfortunately, some right wing cheesehead, aware of Miley's bouts of post-Hannah Montana adult immaturity, decided that the song was not appropriate for 1st graders to sing. The Muppet classic, "The Rainbow Connection", is being used instead of "Rainbowland", and, in all honesty, while that, too, was on the chopping block, there were parents on the opposite side of the issue raising a fuss, so the kids get to honor Kermit the Frog.

So, what's wrong?

As Parton herself acknowledges, "Rainbowland" is about acceptance, and being able to share with our brothers & sisters, if you will, regardless of race, gender identity, et al, things that are anathema to right wingers.

In truth, "Rainbowland" should be reserved to be sung by middle schoolers (grades 5-8) or high schoolers. It's really a big ask of 1st graders who probably haven't understood the additional societal context of rainbows. 

Did Wisconsin school administrators over-reach? Yep. The song should be played, and knowing how these geeks think, it's probably banned from country radio in Cheese Country.

To give you some idea, here's the song in question. Parton & Cyrus never shot a video, so we have a slide show with the lyrics appearing on the screen.

I don't think school administrators even remember when Dolly appeared on The Muppet Show and/or Sesame Street back in the day. As for those same head-in-the-sand right wingers, I recommend being forced to binge-watch That 70's Show, especially the best of Ashton Kutcher.........

Weasel of The Week: James Comer

 He already has a Dunce Cap, so what would it take for Misrepresentative James Comer to also earn a set of Weasel ears?

How about going on CNN and trying to gaslight Jake Tapper by claiming that Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg has no jurisdiction when it comes to the GOP's false god, Donald John Narcissus Trump?

No, Congressman Unwelcome, it's the other way around. You and the other Dunces are out of bounds, as legal experts such as Glenn Kirschner have pointed out. Trump's own lawyer du jour, Joe Tacopina, has admitted that Trump went over the line by making death threats to Bragg, which encouraged an idiot in Orlando to send Bragg an envelope with a death threat and what turned out to be harmless white powder (likely talcum powder), received on Friday.

Brian Tyler Cohen has a clip of Comer's gaslighting stunt, and breaks it down.

Kirschner, in a Saturday video, said that Trump, by making his threats, committed additional crimes that the grand jury should consider. Every time Trump opens his mouth, and whines the same delusional baloney about being robbed of the White House in 2020, he digs a deeper hole for himself.

Comer gets the Weasel ears for being ignorant of the law and reality.

2023 American League preview

 Now, it's time to take a look at the American League, with four days to Opening Day as this is being written.

American League East:

The Yankees rode Aaron Judge's record setting season to another AL East title. That was the good news. The bad news was that the Bombers were eliminated early from the post-season. The 99 wins, matching Judge's uniform number, wasn't even enough for bragging rights in NY, since the Mets won 101. Judge might not be able do duplicate last year's numbers, though MLB would love it if he erased Barry Bonds from the record books. 

The offense is largely intact, although Matt Carpenter ended up being a rental. When the biggest off-season pickup was 1 starting pitcher (Carlos Rodon, coming over from San Francisco), you wonder what Hal Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman were thinking. Rodon's been hurt. So has Luis Severino. Nester Cortes looked good in a preseason start the other day. Domingo German has been hot & cold. Frankie Montas has to look better than he did last year, otherwise, until Rodon and Severino are cleared, Gerrit Cole is going to have a bigger burden than he should.

In contrast, Toronto made some moves in the off-season, bringing in outfielders Kevin Kiermaier (Tampa Bay) and Daulton Varsho (Arizona) and 1B Brandon Belt (San Francisco), heisting pitchers Chris Bassitt, (Mets) & Chad Green (Yankees) out of New York, Zach Pop out of Miami, and Zach Thompson from Pittsburgh. John Schneider (no relation to the actor-singer) begins his first full season as manager.

Baltimore gave the division quite a scare last season, staying in contention until roughly the final month of the season. Pitcher Mychal Givens returns after spending last season with the Mets, who also let James McCann find his way back to the AL as a free agent. Manager Brandon Hyde has to hope ace pitcher John Means finds his 2021 form after spending last season on the IL. Tampa Bay isn't scaring anyone, either, despite signing Jose Siri (Houston) to replace Kevin Kiermaier (Toronto), and adding Zach Eflin (Philadelphia) to bolster the rotation despite Eflin working in the bullpen during the playoffs.

The Xander Bogaerts era is over in Boston, with Bogaerts chasing the money to San Diego. However, Trevor Story is on the IL, and won't be ready for opening day. Boston restocked by picking up Adalberto Mondesi (Kansas City) and Yu Chang (Cleveland) to try to fill the void. The Red Sox loaded up on pitching, getting Kenley Jansen as their new closer (Atlanta), and bringing Joely Rodriguez back from the NL (Mets). Richard Bleier is hoping a new base will erase the stigma of a 3-balk-in-1-at-bat vs. the Mets in Miami. Corey Kluber (Tampa Bay) continues his tour of AL East clubs. Reese McGuire comes over from Chicago to handle the catching. Japan's Masataka Yoshida was a big reason why Japan won the WBC. Adam Duvall (Atlanta) provides the power bat lost with Bogaerts' departure. Boston could get Kevin Plawecki back as he was cut by Pittsbuirgh.

Projected order of finish:

1. Toronto.

2. Yankees.

3. Boston.

4. Baltimore.

5. Tampa Bay.

American League Central:

A name change did some good for Cleveland last season. As the Guardians, they won the division, just as the NFL's Washington "Football Team" (now Commanders) did the same 2 years earlier. Rookie catcher Bo Naylor is hoping to join big brother Josh on the active roster, and probably will. The Guardians got a much needed power bat in Josh Bell (San Diego/Washington), who will anchor the infield.

Minnesota boosted their offense, picking up Joey Gallo (Dodgers) and Michael A. Taylor (Kansas City) to play the outfield. After all the drama that brought Carlos Correa back, thanks to Scott Boras' shell games, Correa gets a new double play partner in Kyle Farmer (Cincinnati). Christian Vazquez finished 2022 as a World Series winner with Houston, and will share catching duties with Ryan Jeffers. Pablo Lopez comes over from Miami to help the pitching staff, but hopefully won't get lost in the shuffle like Kenta Maeda has the last couple of years.

Detroit is hoping to resurrect Michael Lorenzen's career after going one and done with the Angels last year. Tyler Nevin, son of Angels manager Phil Nevin, comes over from Baltimore to help in the infield. The Tigers heisted outfielders Nick Maton and Matt Vierling from Philadelphia. If you can call it a heist, that is. Chicago stood pat. Kansas City thinks Aroldis Chapman can still close games. After last season with the Yankees, I don't think so. The Royals also got Ryan Yarborough (Tampa Bay) and ex-Valleycat Jordan Lyles (Baltimore) to bolster the pitching staff. Other than that, not much.

Projected order of finish:

1. Cleveland.

2. Minnesota.

3. Chicago.

4. Detroit.

5. Kansas City.

American League West:

After their epic battle to end the WBC, Shohei Ohtani & Mike Trout are once more teammates with Los Angeles, hoping to finally make the postseason, which would be the last thing on the bucket list before Ohtani tries free agency after the season. Trout has some new faces in the outfield with Mickey Moniak (Philadelphia), Hunter Renfroe (Milwaukee), and Brett Phillips (Baltimore). The infield has some fresh blood, too, with Gio Urshela (Minnesota) and Brandon Drury (San Diego). Tyler Anderson moves across town from the Dodgers.

The most significant change for defending champion Houston was getting Jose Abreu away from Chicago to add another power bat. Dusty Baker probably would retire if he wins another title. Seattle sees Tommy La Stella, a career infielder (San Francisco) as a DH? Seriously? Kolten Wong comes over from the NL (Milwaukee) to play 2nd base. Teoscar Hernandez (Toronto) should give them a power bat.

Oakland picked up DH Jesus Aguilar and outfielder JJ Bleday (Miami) and pitcher JP Sears (Yankees), but will that mean anything?

The real story in the division is in Texas, and how they loaded up on pitching. The big prize, of course, was Jacob deGrom (Mets), but the Rangers also got Nathan Eovaldi (Boston), spoiling a possible reunion with the Yankees. Jake "Eggs" Odorizzi comes back to the AL after finishing last season in Atlanta. Mitch Garver comes over from Minnesota to help with the catching. A rotation of deGrom, Eovaldi, Odorizzi, Jon Gray, and Andrew Heaney or Dane Dunning could be a surprise, especially if deGrom is healthy.

Projected order of finish:

1. Houston.

2. Los Angeles.

3. Texas.

4. Seattle.

5 Oakland.

Of course, I could be wrong.

Who's the real animal?, part 2

The longer this goes, the further Donald Trump descends into straight up mental degeneration. Forget about the rabbit hole. Trump is digging his political grave in a very public manner.

Farron Cousins explains:

Forget about jail at this point. Trump needs to be given a full psychiatric examination, because, with his 77th birthday 3 months away, he may be dealing with the onset of dementia as he pushes himself well beyond his limits. Yes, he is afraid of being locked up. It no longer matters to him that his public image has been irretrievably altered. The real estate mogul who became a celebrity in the 80's is now an unstable demagogue who can't stop himself.

The endgame is coming, and we already know he'll lose.

Who's the real animal?

We'll start this one with a commentary from Farron Cousins:

George Soros did not have direct contact with Alvin Bragg. As Farron notes, a group associated with Soros, acting on their own, made a donation to Bragg's campaign. Soros is just a convenient bogeyman for the GOPers to scapegoat whenever possible. As for the racist garbage being spewed on Truthless Social by the oldest baby in the world, it illustrates just how much Trump has regressed mentally. 76, going on 77, yet with the attitude and impulses of a small child.

Trump is afraid of going to jail and losing out on running for President. We get it. It was exposed long ago that he's not the tough street fighter he pretended to be, and never was. Yet, his gullible supporters, who've let him fleece them out of over a million dollars since he claimed without evidence nearly a week ago that he would be arrested, will hang on his every lie, and treat it like gospel. It bothers him that you have two DA's, Fani Willis & Bragg, and NY Attorney General Letitia James, all African-Americans, looking to put Trump away, and remove him from the national spotlight & discourse. One by one, Trump's allies are being caught in the crosshairs to the point where they may not be able to justifiably defend Trump any longer. In time, one would think, that would include members of the the GOP Idiot Squad in Washington, led by Empty-G and Kevin McCarthy.

Why wasn't Trump included in defamation lawsuits filed by Dominion & Smartmatic? No one knows for sure, but he's burdened already with enough litigation to last him to the end of his days. In the end, Trump will be left all alone, with no one to turn to, because even the dimmest bulbs in the family, that being Stupid-E, Screaming Kimi, and Dumb Donald II, will finally tire of him at some point. They say that Trump will throw his own family under the bus to try to save himself, but the reality is, he only needs to look in the mirror for the source of all of his problems, past, present, & future.

Maybe FedEX knew something with this ad (1981)

 John Moschitta, Jr. was not very well known when Federal Express' ad agency hired him for this 1981 ad. However, he gained a reputation as the fastest talker on the planet because of this ad.

John would later go on to do other ads, not specifically because he can talk super fast, but he did use his schtick to sell Matchbox's Micro Machines toys.

2023 National League preview

 We are one week away from Opening Day of the 2023 Major League Baseball season. With the World Baseball Classic having ended on Tuesday, it's back to business as usual. Well, at least for most teams.

National League East:

After getting pwned by the Atlanta Braves & the Mets last season, Philadelphia shocked everyone by winning the NL title, only to be brought back to reality after losing the World Series to Houston. The Phillies have said good-bye to Jean Segura (Miami) and Didi Gregorius, and signed Trea Turner (Dodgers) to take over at shortstop. All Turner did during the WBC was fall in love with the home run. The Phillies now need this burst of power, with Rhys Hoskins lost for the season with a torn ACL sustained today vs. Detroit. Bryce Harper isn't due back until perhaps July after undergoing Tommy John surgery. That means two of last year's free agent signings, Nick Castellanos and Kyle Schwarber, have to step up. Castellanos in particular disappeared during the World Series. Josh Harrison (White Sox) will be Turner's double play partner.

As we've noted the Phils fortified their rotation by signing Taijuan Walker away from the Mets, but lost Noah Syndergaard, as he went back to California (Dodgers). We'll get to "Thor" later.

In Miami, Don Mattingly stepped down as manager, and Skip Schumaker will be the new manager, coming over from St. Louis. He may have already made one big mistake by moving Jazz Chisholm, Jr. from second base to the outfield, the better to utilize Chisholm's speed. That means Jorge Soler, in his 2nd season in Miami, is going to be mostly a DH. Outside of Sandy Alcantara, the Marlins' best arm may be ageless Johnny Cueto. AL batting champ Luis Arraez (Minnesota) replaces Chisholm at second.

We talked about the Mets the other day. Now that their front line players have returned from the WBC, they should be fine. Washington? Fuhgeddaboutit!

That leaves Atlanta. Shenendehowa graduate Ian Anderson starts the season at Gwinnett (Triple A) to try to correct his control issues that plagued him last year. The Braves picked up catcher Sean Murphy (Oakland) to back up Travis d'Arnaud, but otherwise, it's pretty much the same cast as last year, save for Dansby Swanson (see below).

Projected order of finish:

1. Atlanta.

2. Mets.

3. Miami.

4. Philadelphia.

5. Washington.

National League Central:

The Chicago Cubs made some moves in the off-season, plucking pitcher Jameson Taillon away from the Yankees, and signing away shortstop Dansby Swanson from Atlanta. DH Trey Mancini just won a World Series ring with Houston. Willson Contreras is gone (St. Louis), but the Cubs signed Tucker Barnhart (Detroit) to take his place. Eric Hosmer flopped in San Diego, but he might find a home at Wrigley.

Cincinnati welcomed back catcher Curt Casali (San Fransisco), just in case Tyler Stephenson isn't 100%. Former Yankee farmhand Nick Solak was last seen in Texas. Otherwise, not much to write home about. The same can be said for Pittsburgh, although they are addressing defensive and offensive issues in signing Ji-Man Choi (Tampa Bay) and Austin Hedges (Cleveland). Prodigal son Andrew McCutcheon is back, but likely not for long. Rising star Connor Joe comes over from Colorado.

In St. Louis, the rich simply get richer. Lars Nootbar became a household name playing for Japan in the WBC. As noted Willson Contreras comes over from Chicago to succeed Yadier Molina behind the plate. Adam Wainwright returns for another season, but starts on the IL (groin). Milwaukee can also say they got richer. Jesse Winker returns to the NL after a year in Seattle. Brian Anderson was without a job in Miami, so he finds a home with the Brewers. The pitching largely remains the same. William Contreras (Atlanta) joins his brother in the Central division, so he & Willson will see each other frequently.

Projected order of finish:

1. St. Louis.

2. Milwaukee.

3. Chicago.

4. Cincinnati.

5. Pittsburgh.

National League West:

It used to be that it was the easy pick to set up Los Angeles as your division champion. Not so fast. San Diego tired in the NLCS, easy prey for Philadelphia, so they made some upgrades. Fernando Tatis, Jr. will finish his PED suspension to start the season, then move to the outfield to make room for Xander Bogaerts (Boston). Seth Lugo (Mets) projects as a starter, at least for now. Michael Wacha returns to the NL after spending last year in Boston. Matt Carpenter finished last year with the Yankees. Lugo & Wacha will join Blake Snell, Joe Musgrove, and Yu Darvish in the rotation. The Dodgers won't be easily put down, of course, but they did lose Cody Bellinger (Cubs). Their outfield has been fortified with the addition of David Peralta (Arizona), although JD Martinez (Boston) is being projected strictly as a DH. There will be a pool on when Noah Syndergaard finally takes the mound as an opposing pitcher against the Mets, as he ducked them when he was with Philadelphia and the Angels last season.

If anything, San Francisco stocked up on pitching, signing Mets prospect Thomas Szapucki, Taylor Rogers (Miami), Ross Stripling (Toronto), Jakob Junis (Miami), Sean Manaea (San Diego), and Luke Jackson (Atlanta). The outfield has been bolstered with Mitch Haniger (Seattle) and Michael Conforto (Mets). Manager Gabe Kapler hasn't settled on a specific DH, so that position is by committee.

In Arizona, Evan Longoria (San Francisco) is hoping to resurrect his career, squeezed out of a job with the Giants. In what has been a trend, the Diamondbacks shopped for outfielders, getting Lourdes Gurriel, Jr. (Toronto) and Kyle Lewis (Seattle). The less said about Colorado, the better.

Projected order of finish:

1. San Diego.

2. Los Angeles.

3. San Francisco.

4. Arizona.

5. Colorado.

Of course, I could be wrong.

A "missing" wrestler found-----on The Masked Singer

 For the 2nd straight cycle, Fox's Masked Singer included an active wrestler in the star-studded field of costumed celebrities. In the last cycle, it was former WWE & AEW champion Chris Jericho, and he was sent home early, faring much, much better than he did the last time he was on a Fox music series (Celebrity Duets, 2006).

On Wednesday, it was WWE's turn.

Former women's champion Alexa Bliss (Lexi Kaufman-Cabrera) overcame a massive issue with stage fright to go on stage as the Axoloti (What?) to cover Leann Rimes' "Can't Fight The Moonlight":

In a post-show interview, Bliss revealed she had gotten encouragement from her husband, singer Ryan Cabrera, and members of *NSYNC, including Joey Fatone. That help, coupled with some rehearsals, produced a performance that likely will get crossover play on Smackdown come Friday. It's too bad Alexa's been eliminated, but this might be the start of a career change should she have to hang up the tights & boots. I can picture her singing backup behind Ryan on his next album.......!

Have no fear, Alexa will likely return to WWE soon enough.

Dunce Cap Award: Fibber Jordan, James Comer, and Bryan Stiel

Only a dozen or so people, mostly members of the NY Young Republicans, turned out to protest an indictment that didn't happen on Tuesday.

For now, Donald John Pinocchio Narcissus Trump remains a free man, but for how much longer? Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, Jr. could still issue an indictment, but it may not be for another few days at least.

That didn't stop a trio of GOPer idiots from attempting to interfere with Bragg's investigation, ignorant of the fact that Congress has no jurisdiction in the case in New York.

The leader of this group of blind mice is House Judiciary Committee Chairman Fibber Jordan of Ohio, who, along with Kentucky Misrepresentative James Combover and Wisconsin's Bryan Stiel, are demanding that Bragg drop what he's doing and come to Washington to talk to them. As noted, they don't have the authority to do so. The only "authority" they have is blind loyalty to Trump, the oldest spoiled brat on the planet. Seems Jordan checked a certain closet, and thought he found something significant. He probably got a concussion, and doesn't remember Congressional protocol, but that's another story.

Anyway, MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell broke it all down Tuesday night on The Last Word:

As far as Republicans are concerned, the rules of conduct in Congress go out the door in favor of fealty to a 76, soon to be 77, year old man-child with the impulses of a 3 year old. They'd rather protect the former president than sit on the sidelines like they're supposed to in this case. For going out of bounds in service to a man-baby, this is their prize:

Enough said.

Sports this 'n' that

 This is the kind of baseball theatre Major League Baseball by itself couldn't create.

Top of the 9th inning, finals of the World Baseball Classic. Two out. Angels 2-way star Shohei Ohtani on the mound for the save. The last obstacle is Angels teammate Mike Trout. Japan was designated as the home team for the 2nd straight night, by the way. 

Unable to put Trout away with heat (fastballs clocking around 100 MPH), Ohtani closed it by getting Trout to chase a slider out of the strike zone. The celebration began immediately.

Photo courtesy Yahoo!.

For Japan, this was their 3rd WBC title, and their first since 2009. In the most star-packed WBC yet, it came down to the two best teams in the tournament in terms of talent. And it may be the last under the old rules of MLB, as there won't be any more defensive shifts, now that the tournament is over.

You can imagine Trout & Ohtani sharing a few laughs on the flight back to the Angels' spring camp in Arizona.

==========================================

A 1st round exit in the NCAA men's tournament last Friday at MVP Arena spelled the end for Rick Pitino at Iona.

On Monday, it was confirmed that Pitino was leaving for St. John's, swapping the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference (MAAC) for the Big East. Iona wasted little time bringing in Pitino's successor, hiring Tobin Anderson away from Fairleigh Dickinson. Anderson got on the Gaels' radar after a Friday upset of Purdue.

The carousel will continue spinning while the tournament continues, and even after it ends on April 3.

==========================================

For basketball fans who grew up in the 70's, this hurts.

Until the WBC concluded Tuesday night, the biggest sports story of the day was the passing of NBA Hall of Famer Willis Reed at 80.

Reed played 10 seasons, all with the Knicks, winning two championships, the captain of a team that was loaded with future Hall of Famers, not just Reed. Dave DeBusschere, future Senator Bill Bradley, Walt "Clyde" Frazier, Earl Monroe, and Phil Jackson were all part of those title teams in 1970 and '73.

Reed would later coach the Knicks and the Nets, then moved to the college ranks at Creighton.

Rest in peace.

Names making news

 Tyra Banks has left the ballroom.

Banks announced last week she was leaving Dancing With The Stars after three seasons. When the series returns to Disney+ in September, Julianne Hough, who has been a pro and a judge on the series, will take over as co-host, paired with past mirrorball winner Alfonso Ribiero (America's Funniest Home Videos). Banks & Ribiero are also former castmates on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

===========================================

The stage is now set for the finals of the World Baseball Classic tonight in Miami after Japan rallied for 2 runs in the 9th to defeat Mexico, 6-5. Japan will face Team USA, which blew out Cuba on Sunday, 14-2. That game was marred by three interruptions by Cuban protesters who felt they needed to use the forum to issue messages against the Cuban government.

Trea Turner, who signed with Philadelphia in the off-season, hit 2 homers in the game, and 3 overall over the weekend, to lead Team USA to victory. On Monday, Shohei Ohtani (Angels) led off the bottom of the 9th with a double off Mexican closer Geovany Gallegos (St. Louis), who failed to record an out, as a walk and another double won the game for Japan, designated as the home team for the game.

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It looks as though Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg is calling Donald Trump's bluff.

On Saturday, the former president claimed without evidence (of course) that he would be "arrested" today. Word we're getting is that he's not even going to be indicted today, but that it could still happen before the week is out. 

Trump, meanwhile, is using the prospects of indictment and/or arrest to do what he does best, grift off his gullible supporters to enrich himself. Count Cheapo won't spend any of his own money unless it's really, really necessary.

"I don't want to spend money. Send me money! WAAAAHHH!!!"

As expected, right wing websites are rallying to the defense of the Archduke of Affluenza, but when will they ever realize that they've been conned for the last eight years or more? House Speaker Kevin McCarthy is calling for calm, but at the same time is defending the oldest baby in America. Ditto for Georgia Misrepresentative Marjorie Taylor Greene. Both of them are basically talking out of both sides of their mouths.

Just accept the fact that the OOP's false god is going down, finally, and there's not thing one the GOPers can do about it.

A Pennsylvania school board rejected plans for a production of Addams Family. Is nothing sacred to conservatives anymore?

 You know the song.

"They're creepy & they're kooky,

Mysterious & spooky,

They're altogether ooky,

The Addams Family!" (italics mine)

Seems a school board in the Pennsylvania suburbs has decided via a 7-2 vote not to mount a production of a musical derived from a 2009 production based on the series and/or Charles Addams' seminal strip, removing it from consideration for the 2023-24 school year.

It begs to ask, then. Is nothing sacred to conservatives anymore?

The board's position is that the production is "inappropriate" and promotes "bad values".

Oh, please! Give me a break! The sitcom based on Addams' works turns 60 next year. This year marks 30 years since "Addams Family Values", the 2nd of two feature films with Raul Julia as Gomez and Christopher Lloyd as Uncle Fester. Like, who hasn't grown up with the original Addams Family, with John Astin, Carolyn Jones, Ted Cassidy, & Jackie Coogan? Interest in adapting the 2009 musical has heightened with the success of Netflix's Wednesday, one would believe.

This controversy gets my attention because it hits home. Troy High School is mounting its own production, March 31-April 2, at the Troy Veterans Auditorium, which links together the middle & high schools. To my knowledge, no one has raised any objections over the production here in town, and why should they? For many of us, Addams is a part of our childhoods. Why should a group of conservative screwballs with their heads in the sand in Pennsylvania, or anywhere else, for that matter, take that away from their local school? Because they miss the point of the dark satire that fueled Addams' work.

The school board majority in Pennsylvania was looking to score political points. Their short-sighted viewpoint will do more harm than good.

To protest or not to protest: What should Trump supporters do?

 While Donald Trump is convinced he will be arrested on Tuesday, that is not actually etched in stone, despite the whining of the Orange Onion.

Perhaps in light of this, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy is urging calm. So is Georgia Misrepresentative Marjorie Taylor Greene, who is looking to divert the cattle herd to a scheduled rally in Waco, Texas, set for Friday.

For once, he said something smart. Photo courtesy Yahoo!.

Of course, both GOPers still support the oldest baby in America. However, they both feel, and, I think, so do other Republicans, that another violent protest isn't the answer. Greene, for her part, is urging supporters to save their money and gas for what would amount to a pilgrimage of pandering in Texas.

Being indicted, which likely is what will really happen, if at all, on Tuesday, is not the same as being arrested. Trump will get fingerprinted, have his picture taken for a mugshot, then sent on his way. In other words, he's making a mountain out of a molehill to salve his wounded ego, and issue a call to action to his supporters. 

However, if I were a Trump supporter, I'd listen to McCarthy and Greene, and sit it out on Tuesday. The Christians who blindly support the Orange Onion will pray, not realizing still that Trump has deceived them these last 8 years.

Either way, it's the beginning of the end for Donald Trump, and if it knocks him out of the 2024 presidential race, so much the better.

Forgotten TV: Doctor Doctor (1989)

 People still associate Matt Frewer with Max Headroom. In 1989, Frewer tried to do something about that, and landed a sitcom at CBS that cast him in a totally new light.

Unfortunately, that light lasted three seasons across two calendar years.

Doctor Doctor was a mid-season replacement when it bowed in the winter of 1989. No, its theme isn't the song of the same name by the British group Thompson Twins, but, rather, a cover of the Rascals' "Good Lovin'", only because the producers couldn't get the rights to the original. Frewer played Dr. Matt Stratford, who was a partner in a clinic with his best friend from med school, Abe (Julius Carry III). Inga Swenson (ex-Benson) had a recurring role as Dr. Stratford's mom, a nurse who briefly worked with her son.

The series ended up cancelled at the end of the 1990-1 season due to, of course, declining ratings. While Frewer took on a handful of guest roles, he also tried his hand at cartoons, hired by MGM to give voice to the Pink Panther two years after Doctor ended, and got 2 seasons out of that gig.

Let's take a look at the opener.

Don't know who butchered "Good Lovin'" (the singers were never credited), but it was a bad omen in the long term.

Rating: B-.

On The Air: Gotham Knights (2023)

 Batman is dead. Four suspects, including the Dark Knight's adopted son (it's not who you think it is) have been framed. There are familiar characters, but the central figure in Gotham Knights, the latest DC Comics entry from executive producer Greg Berlanti, is not.

Turner Hayes (Oscar Morgan) is a fresh out of the box creation strictly for the TV show, but, then again, Harley Quinn went from Batman: The Animated Series to pop culture icon in record time more than 30 years ago, so anything's possible.

Anyway, Turner's adoption follows the pattern established when Bruce Wayne (David Miller in a brief cameo) had adopted his wards in the books (i.e. Dick Grayson, Tim Drake). Now, we're not sure if there's any sort of Bat-embargo with this series, since an adult Dick and a Tim who's barely out of his teens are factors in HBO Max's Titans, but we'll see soon enough.

The CW's hype machine misfired, claiming that the children of some of Batman's greatest enemies have been framed. That's not really true. We have:

Harper & Cullen Row, a set of siblings created by Scott Snyder during the New 52 era at DC.

Duela Dent, alleged to be the daughter of The Joker, but with her last name, there might be ties to DA Harvey Dent (Misha Collins, ex-Supernatural). Introduced in the pages of Teen Titans during its mid-70's revival.

Also on board are Stephanie Brown, whom comics fans know as the Spoiler, but not yet in costume, and Carrie Kelley, introduced in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns as a future era Robin, brought to the present day of this continuity by the show's creators.

Then, you factor in co-executive producer Danny Cannon (Pennyworth, Gotham), who directed the pilot. He's the one who decided to insert a young Selina Kyle into the early life of Bruce Wayne on Gotham, likely at the request of DC suits.

Let's take a look at the trailer:

Fans are understandably concerned that this series could end up 1 and done due to the shift in the CW's programming philosophy under Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav, although the option is there to move the show to HBO Max.

A decent start, so we'll forgive the misleading hype.

Rating: B-.

The perp walk of a lifetime is coming.........or is it?

 This is almost too good to be true.

The oldest baby in America, Donald John Narcissus Trump, is claiming this morning on Truth Social that he is being arrested on Tuesday in connection with hush money payments made to adult film actress Stormy Daniels. He's putting the message out there 3 days early as a dog whistle to his supporters, whom he's urging to protest on Tuesday.

"WAAAAHHHH! Help me avoid jail! WAAAHHHHH!"

Per Yahoo!, neither the office of Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, nor Trump's own people, are commenting on the matter. This leads me to believe that Trump is trying to force Bragg's hand by making this announcement, fishing for sympathy at the same time.

Trump is trying to control the narrative, and, perhaps, taint every other investigation against him and his family. He is that afraid of going to jail, such that he thinks there'll be thousands of loyal drones convening in Manhattan on Tuesday.

Bragg's response should be to block the protest, and make the bust NOW!

As for Trump, Sammy Davis, Jr. sang it best back in the 70's. "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time!". An arrest all but kills Trump's chances of regaining the White House in 2024, and even Republicans will be breathing a sigh of relief if/when that happens.

Stay tuned.

Musical Interlude: Discotheque (1997)

 In the 90's, U2 was experimenting with various ideas. One of those was 1997's "POP", the first single of which, "Discotheque", is an adventurous homage to the disco era of the 70's. The Edge grew out a mustache befitting the era, and toward the end, the band channels the Village People (The Edge is a biker, Bono's a motorcycle cop, etc.), which itself is hilarious.

Moron TV: Vinnie & Bobby (1992)

 Fox thought they had something with Matt LeBlanc, such that he factored into not one, but two spin-offs from Married.....With Children.

However, after Top of The Heap flopped, Fox tried again with LeBlanc, this time in Vinnie & Bobby, a spring replacement series that ran for nearly 2 full months in 1992. While LeBlanc had perfected the dimbulb persona that would morph into Joey on Friends (and its spin-off, Joey), viewers had gotten tired of Vinnie.

The late standup comic John Pinette co-starred as a fellow construction worker of the title characters, William Melvin (Bill) Belli. Yes, inspired by attorney Melvin Belli.

With spring right around the corner (starts Monday afternoon), here's the penultimate episode, "Spring is in The Air":

Broadway star Robert Torti, who played Bobby, never landed another steady series gig, but did manage a high profile movie role in Tom Hanks' 1996 film, "That Thing You Do!".

No rating.

2023 NY Mets preview

 The World Baseball Classic wraps up next week. A scant more than a week later, the 2023 baseball season will officially begin.

For the Mets, runners-up in the NL East last season, there is a sense of urgency, not with the offense, but with the bullpen.

The pitching staff was overhauled over the off-season. Jacob deGrom took the money and fled west to Texas. Taijuan Walker joins Zack Wheeler in Philadelphia. Seth Lugo decided he wanted to be a starter again, and San Diego is willing to oblige. However, the Mets filled the holes in the rotation by bringing in veteran Justin Verlander (Houston), who reunites with ace Max Scherzer, as the two were teammates in Detroit, and signing Japanese star Kodai Senga. Jose Quintana came over from St. Louis, but he's injured, and may not be ready until July. Joey Lucchesi should be ready after missing all of 2022. The Mets bolstered the bullpen by getting Brooks Raley (Tampa Bay) and David Robertson (Philadelphia), who will be added to the growing list of players who've suited up for both the Mets & Yankees.

The addition of Robertson is now even bigger, after closer Edwin Diaz was presumed to be lost for the season after an accident at the World Baseball Classic on Wednesday.

Diaz tore a patella tendon while celebrating Puerto Rico advancing to the quarterfinal round. Fans are calling for owner Steve Cohen to sign free agent Zach Britton (last with the Yankees), but with Robertson, a veteran closer with the Yanks, Phillies, Cubs, & White Sox, is that necessary? Diaz won't be back until after the season.

Mets fans on Reddit are obsessing over rookies Brett Baty and Francisco Alvarez. The latter likely will start the season in Syracuse, while the former caddies Eduardo Escobar at 3rd, although there is talk of Baty being tested in the outfield. Otherwise, the infield is solid with Francisco Lindor, Jeff McNeil, & Pete Alonso. The Mets signed Omar Narvaez (Milwaukee) as veteran catching insurance for Tomas Nido and Alvarez after James McCann left town after 2 unspectacular seasons. The outfield for now is intact (Mark Canha, Brandon Nimmo, Starling Marte).

Figuring the rotation to be Verlander/Scherzer/Senga/Carlos Carrasco/David Peterson or Tylor Megill, the latter stepping aside when Quintana becomes available in the summer, the Mets will challenge Atlanta again, and dominate upstart Philadelphia. Again. With everyone playing everyone starting this season, interleague play as we know it is no more. It will, however, be interesting to see the Mets vs. deGrom when they play Texas, or if Noah Syndergaard actually starts a game vs. the Mets in LA with the Dodgers, and not duck them like he did with the Phillies & Angels last year.

Projected finish. 2nd, good for a Wild Card again.

Of course, I could be wrong.

What Might've Been: Cool Million (1972)

 A former CIA agent becomes a private detective, whose fee is a Cool Million. Nice idea, but the concept, a component of the NBC Wednesday Mystery Movie, ended up a dud, cancelled after 1 season of 5 TV-movies.

James Farentino (ex-The Bold Ones: The Lawyers) top-lined as Jefferson Keyes, the ex-CIA agent-turned-sleuth. Adele Mara, wife of co-executive producer Roy Huggins, was the secretary, if you will, who fielded calls for Keyes' services. Frequent correspondent Mike Doran supplied this information to YouTube the other day. Mike, however, can't take credit for the video, which another fellow posted back in December.

Here's "Hunt For a Lonely Girl", with Kim Darby, Ray Milland, and a pre-Police Woman Ed Bernard in a supporting role.

Edit, 10/27/23: The video was deleted. In its place is a sample clip:

Cool Million continued a string of TV failures for series creator Larry Cohen, whose best efforts (Branded, The Invaders) lasted two seasons each, while, in addition to Cool Million, Blue Light, Coronet Blue, & Custer (which Cohen "suggested") each lasted one season. Small wonder Cohen turned to movies, and created the "It's Alive" series of horror films.

No rating. Just a public service.

How a chronic liar can't keep his story straight..........

 Just about everyone believes that then-president Donald John Pinocchio Trump, aka Pecos Pampers, was largely responsible for the insurrection at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. Trump and his brainwashed supporters believe otherwise, and the Legion of The Brainwashed will accept anything that the oldest baby in America tells them, even if he's become prone to changing the story with almost as much frequency as, say Hulk Hogan.

You see, the Archduke of Affluenza is now trying to sell the idea that then-VP Mike Pence, a target of the rioters that day, was actually at fault because he wouldn't do what the Orange Onion wanted, which was illegal anyway.

"WWWWAAAHHH! Not my fault! It's Pence's fault! WWWWAAAAHHHHH!"

Yeah, sure, and pigs can fly.

Trump, of course, refuses to accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong. He's always deflecting, projecting, or casting blame on others, all because of how he was reared by his father a long time ago. He's finding out that he's not above the law after all, but has a fear of incarceration, and is trying to avoid going to jail or a psychiatric ward, whichever would be more appropriate for a man who, at 76, is on his 5th childhood.

And, then, we add the fact that he refused an invitation from Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg to testify in front of a grand jury.

"WWWAAAHH! You don't deserve to hear from me in person! WAAAAHH!"

The longer he holds out, the worse it's going to be for him and everyone else. It's way past time for Trump to finally man up, own his situation, and take his legal medicine like a man, instead of like a.....

What Might've Been: Sara (1985)

 Producer Gary David Goldberg already had a hit series on NBC with Family Ties. In the winter of 1985, Goldberg thought he had another winner at NBC with a workplace comedy, set in a law office.

Unfortunately, with NBC unwilling to tinker with its Thursday block, Sara, starring Geena Davis, lasted just 13 episodes, airing opposite ABC's Dynasty. It just ended up on the wrong night. Davis fronted an ensemble that found a lot of success elsewhere. For example, Bronson Pinchot, who was hot off "Beverly Hills Cop" and a Pointer Sisters music video, would cement his status with Perfect Strangers. Ronnie Claire Edwards was the sage veteran, with The Waltons on her resume. Bill Maher, after a few guest appearances on Murder, She Wrote, became a talk show host, currently on HBO. Matthew Lawrence would later team with brothers Andrew & Joey in Brotherly Love, and front a poorly received Saturday morning series, Superhuman Samurai SyberSquad, on ABC. Mark Hudson isn't known for his acting, but rather as a musician as 1/3 of The Hudson Brothers. Alfre Woodard has become more of a character actor in recent years.

Let's take a look at a sample episode.

Geena Davis would later rebound with movies such as "Fletch", "The Fly" (the Jeff Goldblum version), and "A League of Their Own" before returning to TV with a self-titled sitcom and the political drama, Commander-in-Chief, both for ABC.

No rating.

Names making news

 Once again, the Academy Awards are under fire for cutting their memorial segment short on Sunday, leaving out a number of stars who passed away, including Tom Sizemore, who passed away earlier this month. The Academy is trying to tune into today's technology, offering a QR scan code so that viewers could see the complete list on the Academy website.

As usual, they don't realize that not everyone owns a computer or a smartphone. On the plus side, the segment began with John Travolta honoring Olivia Newton-John.

Also on Sunday, host Jimmy Kimmel, without mentioning his name, put Tabloid Carlson on blast for attempting to gaslight his audience last week by cherry-picking portions of the 40,000+ hours of video supplied to Carlson by Kevin "The Body Snatcher" McCarthy. Carlson certainly deserves it, and so should McCarthy, who is giving fellow GOPers like Empty G everything they asked for, diluting his power as speaker of the house.

Then, the other day, McCarthy claimed he would slow release the footage for the rest of the media outlets. That's not going to work. I honestly believe it's way past time the Federal Communications Commission sanctioned Carlson for his nightly gaslighting under the heading of "opinions".

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When are right wingers going to learn not to mess with Alex From The Block?

I refer, of course, to NY Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who now is possibly facing a suit from conservative jackass Alex Stein, just because AOC used her rights to block Stein on Twitter. Some commenters online believe Stein has become obsessed with AOC.

Hate to break it to you guys, but she's spoken for.

Late last year, AOC got engaged to her boyfriend in NYC, so Stein is SOL. His suit is a desperate cry for attention. Professionally, he's a comedian, but the only place he'd be welcome would be on Greg Gutfeld's Fox No News show. Wouldn't be surprised if Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, et al roasted Stein on their shows.

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Amidst the torrent of books being kept off school and public library shelves in Florida, per Governor Ron DeStupid and his thought police, are some books by best selling author Jodi Picoult, and she isn't having it.

According to Picoult, a lone, anonymous parent cited one of her books as containing adult romance, which Picoult denies. Sounds to me like this parent heard about the book second or third hand from a friend, and decided to take up the cause without bothering to check the facts, that is, actually reading the book.

This is what DeStupid has wrought. He has empowered his ill informed base to be glorified library nannies. I wonder what these idiots would think if they knew Picoult had dabbled as a comic book writer a number of years back, chronicling the exploits of a certain iconic Amazon. Yep. Wonder Woman. If DeStupid decides to censor graphic novels, count on Marvel (a unit of Disney) and DC (Warner Bros. Discovery), among others, to fight back. It's a battle that would expose DeStupid as the fraud he is, because a lot of his legislation is actually illegal, but, blinded by political ambition, he doesn't care. He'll care when he loses next year, if not sooner.

This Angel can sing: The Cheryl Ladd Special (1979)

 A while back, we served up a clip from this next entry, in which Charlie's Angels co-star Cheryl Ladd did a duet with Waylon Jennings. Now, we have the whole enchilada.

In the winter of 1979, halfway through her 2nd season on Angels (the 3rd season for the series), Cheryl was given her first TV special, with Waylon and actor-singer Ben Vereen as the main guests. I think Cheryl did maybe 3-4 of these variety specials all together, the last airing after Angels ended its run.

I never saw it until I ran across it on YouTube, so there's no rating.

Musical Interlude: Goin' Back to Cali (1987)

 LL Cool J's "Goin' Back to Cali" was one of two hit singles off the soundtrack to 1987's "Less Than Zero" (The Bangles' cover of "Hazy Shade of Winter" was the other). LL is in LA, surrounded by plenty of beautiful women, Martha Quinn included. The 518's gift to MTV had left at the end of '86, only to return in February '89 for a 3 year hitch, and was in between movies when this video arrived.

Proof that not every Christian drinks the MAGA Kool-aid

 Oh, this is just too rich.

A Christian group, Faithful America, is calling for Colorado Misrepresentative Lauren Boebert to resign AND repent recent remarks directed at President Biden. Now, we know that the Mile High Airhead won't resign, but what we're learning is that not every Christian is pro-MAGA, pro-GOP.

Farron Cousins explains what's happening:

I honestly think it doesn't stop there. Where is the Catholic League to ask the same of Boebert on behalf of the President, a practicing Catholic? What about the Anti-Defamation League? Farron may be right about the fact that Boebert gets to speak at churches and at least act like she understands the Bible, but really doesn't. It's all for show with her. However, considering that she barely was re-elected 4 months ago, her chances of a 3rd term could go up in flames if these groups ramp up the pressure over the next 20 months.

Names making news

 After Star Trek: The Next Generation ended, segueing into Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Michael Dorn was one of three cast members----Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis being the others----cast for Disney's animated adventure series, Gargoyles. Unlike the others, Dorn made a 2nd career as a voice actor, landing a supporting role on Superman: The Animated Series, starring in Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys, a 1 year syndicated series, and the title role as I. M. Weasel, a back-up feature to Cow & Chicken.

This summer, Dorn is parlaying his Superman gig as John Henry Irons, aka Steel, into his comics writing debut for DC, as Irons and his daughter, Natasha, will star in their own series, Steelworks, which will continue plot elements from Action Comics. These days, in the books, Irons has had a on-again-off-again relationship with Lana Lang. Contrast that with the Irons that has appeared on Superman & Lois the last two seasons, played by Wole Parks, who came from an alternate earth where he was married to Lois Lane (Elizabeth Tulloch). Right wingers in certain parts of the country are probably tearing their hair out over both storylines.

Dorn becomes the latest Hollywood star to give comic books a whirl. The name recognition value alone should move a few extra copies.

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All of Minnesota likely has their flags at half-staff this afternoon after the passing of NFL Hall of Fame coach Bud Grant at 95.

While Grant tried and failed to win the Super Bowl four different times with the Minnesota Vikings, he won four Grey Cups in the Canadian Football League, and, as a three sport star in high school, Grant was on 2 NBA championship teams with the then-Minneapolis Lakers.

Rest in peace.

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We reported not long ago how CVS at the Uncle Sam Atrium keeps their detergents under lock & key. It's a chain wide thing, as Rick Karlin reported for the Albany Times-Union that CVS' Bethlehem location also has had to deal with shoplifters. According to Karlin, the thieves then turn around and sell the stolen detergent online in order to make a profit without spending a dime themselves. The greed of these people is just ridiculous. Security cameras should identify the thieves and turn them over to the police to end this.

Robert Blake (1933-2023)

 Our Gang.

Red Ryder.

Hell Town.

Baretta.

"In Cold Blood".

"Electra Glide in Blue".

Emmy winner Robert Blake's career was undone when he was accused of killing his 2nd wife, Bonnie Bakley, only to be acquitted in 2005. He did, however, have to pay her family in a civil suit. A career that began at age 6 as Mickey Gubitosi as a member of Our Gang had been brought to a halt, and never really started again after acquittal.

Blake passed away on Thursday at 89 from heart disease, six months shy of his 90th birthday. He enjoyed his greatest television success with Baretta, which began as a mid-season replacement in the winter of 1975, and ran for 4 seasons (1975-8). It is said he threatened to quit if Universal or ABC suits didn't allow Sammy Davis, Jr.'s rendition of "Keep Your Eye on The Sparrow", the series' theme, to be used. Needless to say, Blake won out, and would call on Davis again for the theme to Hell Town, a 1985 series for NBC that lasted one season.

Edit, 4/10/23: Had to change the video as it was privatized. I've located a Blake appearance on Death Valley Days from the 60's, with Robert Taylor as host. "The Kid From Hell's Kitchen":

I'm working on locating some of the Our Gang shorts from Blake's time with the troupe, and those will turn up over at Saturday Morning Archives.

Rest in peace.

Musical Interlude; Alright (1990)

 Janet Jackson takes viewers on a time trip to the golden age with "Alright", the 4th single from 1989's "Rhythm Nation 1814". "Alright" was in heavy airplay on MTV for the 2nd half of 1990, and there's plenty of reasons for that. The song topped Billboard's Dance Singles chart, and peaked at #4 on the Hot 100. 

The video also features guest appearances by Cyd Charisse, the Nicholas Brothers, and the legendary Cab Calloway, in one of his last appearances.

Weasel of The Week; Ron DeStupid

 This is just too easy.

You've seen the headlines already, I'm sure. Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic, the top ranked player in the world, remains unvaccinated against COVID-19, and thus cannot play in tournaments here in the US.

Djokovic is reportedly scheduled to compete in the Miami Open in 2 weeks, and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is demanding that President Biden lift the vaccine mandates now, two months before those mandates expire.

Sorry, Dr. Stupid, but it's not Biden's call, nor is it really your call.

Novak Djokovic. Photo courtesy of Yahoo1.

It's easy to see through DeStupid's argument. He sees Djokovic as a gate attraction, and a reason to fish for political points, as usual, in his obsessive quest to "own the libs". It would be up to the US Tennis Association and/or the World Tennis Association to petition for an exemption of some kind. You, DeStupid, are sticking your mug where it doesn't belong.

The sport of tennis does not need to be politicized here in the US just because a Trump clone misleading the state is having a Trumpian tantrum. It's not your call at all, DeStupid, but what you are getting is a set of Weasel ears. If you want to find the real source of all of Florida's problems, just look in the mirror, punk.