Hollywood's original Pet Vets (Calling All Curs, 1939)

 The Three Stooges are a trio of veterinarians entrusted with a valuable dog whose owner has anxiety issues, especially since the dog gets kidnapped right out from under the boys' noses.

Portions of "Calling All Curs" were later used in "Stop, Look, & Laugh", and in Jump 'n' The Saddle's "Curly Shuffle":

A change of pace for the boys, considering they're usually down on their luck or day laborers. Curly, in particular, was a dog lover off screen, so this was a labor of love for him.

Rating: A-.

Marryin' Stooges (In The Sweet Pie & Pie, 1941)

 Every now and again, the Three Stooges would be given romantic interests. In 1941's "In The Sweet Pie & Pie", however, the boys are manipulated into a triple wedding by a conniving lawyer (an uncredited Richard Fiske) to help three socialites collect an inheritance. The boys have been accused of crimes they apparently didn't commit, and are subject to be hanged, but, oh, is that shyster about to find out the truth.......

Rating: A-.

Dunce Cap Award: three female stooges

With apologies to the estates of Moe, Shemp, & Curly Howard, Joe Besser, Larry Fine, & Joe DeRita, Donald Trump's idea of Three Stooges makes the comedy legends look like MENSA members.

You know, of course, that Lindsey Halligan, the former beauty pageant contestant and personal attorney to Orange Beavis, was disqualified as US Attorney for the Northern District of Virginia due to being unlawfully appointed by Trump and Attorney General Pam Bondi.

So Halligan & Bondi are raging, claiming that the former is still the lead attorney.

A deer in the headlights.

The only reason Halligan can even try to claim her position is because Trump finds her telegenic, malleable, and of course, gullible enough to take whatever he says as gospel. And while there are reports circulating that Trump, behind the scenes, is getting annoyed with Bondi's bumbling, she's trying to win back his trust by standing by Halligan.

Between the two of them, their professional IQ is rapidly falling underwater, right along with their boss.

And, then, there is the Dumb Dora of the White House, Karoline Leavitt.

Leavitt was whining about a CNN report, the chyron of which was largely accurate, regarding the murder of Renee Good 8 days ago in Minneapolis.

The truth hurts, doesn't it? Of course, it does. She claims CNN's reporting lacked context. 

Here's the problem, Karoline. Your boss doesn't want the truth to be out there, despite evidence to the contrary. You know, like the riot on 1/6/21. The video evidence is for all to see, and no amount of lying, whining, & crying can change any of that.

And, so, you know what these ladies will get this week:

Stop insulting our intelligence----and yours, I might add----, ladies. It may help you in the long run.

How people really see the Trump administration: I'll Never Heil Again (1941)

 "I'll Never Heil Again" is the sequel to the 1940 Three Stooges short, "You Nazty Spy" (and we'll get to that one another time). 

A Hitler knockoff named Hailstone (Moe Howard) has taken over Moronica. The former king's aides have regretted their decision, and seek to restore the king......

The long break showcasing the map will leave you in stitches the rest of the film. Trust me.

Rating: A+.

While the fate of Hailstone won't await president Trump, the fact that the latter's administration makes the Stooges look like geniuses.....

Celebrating the simple: The Three Stooges Greatest Hits (1997)

 Columbia-Tri-Star marked the 75th anniversary of The Three Stooges with a primetime special airing on ABC. 

Martin Short (ex-SCTV, Saturday Night Live, The Associates) serves as host, with a pastiche of archived film footage, sorted by topic, including the boys' run with Ted Healy. Barry Williams (ex-The Brady Bunch) and Little Richard are the guests, with the latter performing a cover of "The Curly Shuffle".

Burton Richardson is your announcer.

Missed this the first time because my folks weren't Stooge fans.

Rating: A.

On DVD: The Three Stooges in False Alarms (1936)

 It's been a while since we checked in on The Three Stooges.

In "False Alarms", the boys are firemen who just can't seem to stay out of trouble, especially when it comes to their girlfriends. Ohhhh, boy.......

Rating: B.

The fatal price of beer: Beer Barrel Polecats (1946)

 The Three Stooges decide to make their own beer during prohibition, but overcharging for the suds gets them in prison. Here's "Beer Barrel Polecats":

Rating: B.

Creepy TV: Creeps (1955)

 When we last looked in on The Three Stooges, we saw "The Ghost Talks". Six years later, it was remade as "Creeps", with the boys doubling as their own sons while footage from the earlier film was redone.

Rating: B.

Creepy TV: The Ghost Talks (1949)

 The Three Stooges are movers tasked to remove some items from a reputedly haunted castle, and meet a suit of armor housing a ghost. Here's "The Ghost Talks":

Rating: B.

Horseplay: The Three Stooges in Horsing Around (1957)

 "Horsing Around" is the sequel to "Hoofs & Goofs". In it, the The Three Stooges discover that what they thought was the reincarnation of their late sister, Birdie, is a reincarnation, alright, but of another horse, and then, the guys set out to help reunite her with her baby daddy, who's in danger of being euthanized due to injury.

As before, Ruth Godfrey White, uncredited, is the voice of Birdie.

Continuity? The Stooges? Whodathunk?

Rating: B--.

Back to School Week: Violent is The Word For Curly (1938)

 The Three Stooges are mistaken for college professors, and end up charming some young ladies with "The Alphabet Song" in "Violent is The Word For Curly":

Rating: A+.

What Might've Been: Jerks of All Trades (1949)

 The Three Stooges took time from their shooting schedule at Columbia to try a pilot for a possible TV series, bringing along repertory player Emil Sitka for Jerks of All Trades.

First produced in 1949, this was reissued nearly 30 years later.

Performed live, Jerks was a test to see if the Stooges could adapt to the new medium, using the same slapstick comedy we'd come to know & love for more than 15 years. However, the live format took away some of the charm of the classic shorts.

Rating: B--.

Was this the inspiration for Monty Python?: Self-Made Maids (1950)

 The answer to that rhetorical question, of course, is no. The Monty Python troupe gained inspiration from Shakespearean theatre, where men playing female parts was very common.

In 1950's "Self-Made Maids", The Three Stooges play all the primary parts, thanks to some clever trick photography.

The gimmick of the Stooges playing their own children had been done before, and would be done again. They would repeat the tactic of playing all the main parts 8 years later in "Oil's Well That Ends Well" (with Joe Besser).

Rating: B--.

Plumbing for trouble: Vagabond Loafers (1949)

 The Three Stooges are back in the plumbing business, however reluctantly, in 1949's "Vagabond Loafers", a remake of the classic "A Plumbing We Will Go". Dudley Dickerson appeared in both films, and would make this his last film, although stock footage would be used in subsequent shorts.

Knowing they're hard up for money, why would Shemp & Larry choose to forego a reward? Hmmmmm.

Rating: B.

One Stooge and two wanna-be's: Roast Beef & Movies (1934)

 Everyone knows that in between stints in the Three Stooges, Shemp Howard had a series of solo shorts, and the Glove Slingers series, at Columbia, before rejoining brother Moe and Larry Fine after brother Curly retired from the act.

While there's no record of Moe going solo, Curly, billed as Jerry Howard, took a break from being with Ted Healy to co-star with George Givot in 1934's "Roast Beef & Movies" for MGM. The idea here is that Givot was to be the leader, a la Moe. Howard is filling Fine's spot, and Bobby Callahan is the lovable goof that Curly normally is.

Note how Howard pulls the buttons off Givot's jacket and eats them. I wonder of those were made of licorice or something. Apparently, Healy was on his way out at MGM, and the studio thought Givot would become a big star. We know the rest of Curly's story.

Rating: B--.

On The Shelf: Man-Thing turns 50, but Marvel fumbles

 The Man-Thing made his debut in the pages of Savage Tales 50 years ago. A scientist, Ted Sallis, had been working on a modified version of the same super soldier formula that created Captain America some 30 years earlier, but, pursued by enemy agents, crashes into the swamps of the Florida everglades, and mutates into a mute monster, powered by emotional empathy, whose touch burns its fearful victims.

Veteran writer Steve Orlando, making his Marvel debut, was tasked with creating an all-new story for the character's 50th anniversary. Marvel, sensing big bucks, decided that instead of a miniseries, there would be a trio of 1-shot specials in which Man-Thing would co-star with the company's big guns, Spider-Man, the Avengers, & the X-Men.

Unfortunately, that strategy backfired. The last two chapters were released a week apart, and it didn't help that Orlando had created a less than appealing villain in the Harrower, an arrogant woman who wants the Man-Thing's powers for herself. By the time the X-Men chapter came out, I'd already decided this was a lost cause. Shoot, RL Stine did a better job with Man-Thing a few years ago.

Rating: C-.

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Speaking of the black & white era at Marvel, which we really weren't, ye scribe caught a lucky break, and acquired a pair of issues of Marvel Preview, a quarterly anthology series that would adapt novels, such as Philip Wylie's Gladiator, or creator-owned characters, like Gil Kane's Blackmark. The series gave way to Bizarre Adventures around 1980 or so, so that Marvel could do more black & white uncensored stories of popular characters like the X-Men.

Roy Thomas, who adapted Gladiator into Man-God in 1976, revisited the concept at DC a few years later when he created the character of Iron Munro for his Young All-Stars series. I don't really remember if Marvel let him finish Man-God----he might've, but I'm not sure----, but bringing the concept back now in the 21st century would be nice right about now.

Rating for Marvel Preview: A-. Hey, they actually adapted Sherlock Holmes before DC did. That accounts for something.

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We talked up the current Suicide Squad series a couple of months back. This was an outgrowth of a Future State miniseries during the winter, and in the probable future as now, Amanda Waller is more ruthless than ever. I honestly don't know if that would be the politically correct thing to do with Waller, treating her like just another power-drunk politico, which is what she really is.

However, I have serious doubts about whether or not DC will stick with any of the Future State concepts, even though the most hyped, Wonder Girl, debuts this week. Readers are desperate to get out of the grim-dark era that we've been stuck in since the mid-80's, but grim-dark-lovin' fanboys are like, well, do I really need to tell you?

The mistake DC made was piggybacking a Black Adam two-parter that belonged in the back of Future State: Shazam! on the back of this mini, and that was equally dull in repackaging Adam into a tragic hero yet again.

Rating: B--.

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American Mythology, the license holders to the Three Stooges, decided to adapt Hanna-Barbera's 1977 bionic parody, The Robonic Stooges. The writers, including SA Check, who writes most of the Stooge adaptations for American Mythology, did their level best to retain the spirit of those shorts, most of which, if memory serves, were written by Norm Maurer, Moe Howard's son-in-law, who also had a hand with a certain pair of Super Friends characters ye scribe is so fond of, while adding the eye-pokes and slapstick antics of the real Stooges, which were left out of the cartoons due to anti-violence restrictions.

Rating: A-.

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The Hellfire Club used to be enemies of the X-Men back in the day, but times have changed, and on the living island of Krakoa, a mutant itself, it seems the groups will come together for what is being billed as the Hellfire Gala. So Marvel decides to go all Glamour with a preview guide that shows off some formal mutant fashions for 2021. So not digging Professor X's new helmet, which he's had the last couple of years. The weekly event is a cash grab, nothing more.

Horse nonsense: Hoofs & Goofs (1956)

 After the passing of Shemp Howard, the Three Stooges reloaded, bringing in Joe Besser (ex-The Abbott & Costello Show), an old friend of Shemp's, to take the vacant spot.

The first outing, unfortunately, is also one of the lesser lights of the Stooge filmography.

"Hoofs & Goofs" takes a poke at reincarnation. In this case, the boys' sister, Birdie (Moe in drag in a dual role), supposedly had passed on, and has been reincarnated as a horse, much to Joe's delight, but it causes problems for the guys when the horse is expecting.

Ruth Godfrey White was the voice of Birdie the horse, physically performed by "Tony the Wonder Horse".

You might think the Stooges jumped the shark with Besser, as he was replaced for the movie series by Joe DeRita, who was a better fit. There's a reason why, in the 80's, the Jump 'N' The Saddle Band didn't name check Besser in the lyrics to "The Curly Shuffle".

Rating: C-.

A Stooge family reunion: Hold That Lion! (1947)

"Hold That Lion!" was the 100th Three Stooges entry released by Columbia, and includes a slice of comedy history.

Shemp Howard had rejoined the Stooges after younger brother Curly was sidelined with a stroke. Curly makes a cameo appearance in this film, as a passenger on board a train while the Stooges are pursuing a shady con man who holds their inheritance. It's also the only time Curly was seen with a full head of hair, but there's no mistaking that distinctive face.

Eight years later, Shemp passed away, and the downward spiral of the Stooges began with the addition of Joe Besser (ex-The Abbott & Costello Show), who left the team after 2 years (1957-9).

Rating: A.

When Stooges go to court: Idiots Deluxe (1945)

This was waaaaaaaaaaaay before The People's Court, but could you picture the Three Stooges before a judge on that show?

"Idiots Deluxe" was released in the summer of 1945, and was the beginning of the end for Jerome "Curly" Howard, who had taken ill in the interim before this short was released. The boys are all alone in a courtroom with a judge, no jury, as Moe relays the tale of how Curly & Larry supposedly drove him crazy.....



Considering the current climate, an empty courtroom would work today, coupled with modern technology to allow a virtual jury to make the verdict instead of the judge (Vernon Dent).

Rating: B-.

Meet the heiress to the Three Stooges! (To Tell The Truth, 1990-1)

We had this one up before, but it got taken down. Then again, you can never keep a good Stooge down.

Joan Howard Maurer, daughter of Moe Howard of The Three Stooges, appeared on To Tell The Truth during its NBC run (1990-1). Ultra busy Alex Trebek is the moderator. Joan appears in the first game.



While we're at it, happy birthday wishes to panelist Orson Bean, who turns 91 today.