Thursday, August 7, 2014

WWE is missing the point on one match at Summerslam

One of the spotlight matches at WWE's August "special event", Summerslam, sees corporate heiress Stephanie McMahon returning to competition for the first time in nearly 11 years. However, this time, she's not the crowd favorite, unlike in 2003, when she had the support of the fans against her insane father, Vince. This time, Vince is using her and her husband, Triple H, to continue his tired old schtick of the authority figures screwing with the talent. He's pulling the puppet strings because he knows his own act is tired and stale, and he should be at home with the grandchildren.

Stephanie is being pitted against former Divas champion Brie Bella, wife of former champ Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson), who is on the DL with neck & shoulder injuries. Rumors have Brie's twin sister, Nikki, turning on Brie, and also having Triple H, in a clear conflict of interest, as the referee.

Let's address these rumors, one at a time.

1. Having the Bella Twins feud does nothing for either sister, or the Divas division. Period. It would work better if Bryan were on the active roster, but he isn't, and may not be for a while to come. Plus, while fans have been screaming for Nikki's squeeze, current champ John Cena, to turn heel, that won't happen anytime soon, either, because his merchandise brings in too much money to the WWE coffers.

2. Triple H would be better served as a manager, assuming Bryan makes it to LA to be in his wife's corner, risking further injury. However, the "Authority"'s power abuses over the last year require having a neutral advocate to ensure there won't be any sort of a screwjob.

Since I'm overqualified to be a member of WWE's much-maligned creative team, let me offer a solution.

Since this week's television is already taped, let's set the scene for next week.

Raw: The main attraction may be a birthday party for Hulk Hogan, but a couple more surprises would impact the McMahon-Bella match. To wit:

1. The return of Linda McMahon. I'm not kidding. The former CEO has kept a low profile since losing her second attempt at political office in 2012, and who else could perhaps force some sense into her daughter & son-in-law six days before one of the biggest PPV's of the year?

2. The identity of the special referee needs to be a real surprise. The way I see it, you need someone with no vested interest in either competitor, nor any past history on either side. Clues would be sprinkled throughout the 3 hour show, and since Hogan will likely get the final segment, this has to start the 3rd hour. By this point, Mrs. McMahon will have made her presence known and back in a WWE ring for the first time in several years. She isn't taking back her old job, but she is serving as an advisor to the new GM, since WWE needs a babyface administrator to offset McMahon-Helmsley Era II. We'll get to that in a bit, but as for the ref, Linda also has that figured out, and has some long forgotten music queued, leading with:

"I'm the lady to mess with!"

Yep, former women's champion Victoria (Lisa Varon, most recently with Ring of Honor after a lengthy run in TNA as Tara) would return after several years away. The shocked expression on Stephanie's face would be priceless. There would be no advance warning in either of these cases, and the crowd pop in Portland, Oregon would be off the charts for Victoria. Trust me on that.

Victoria would cut a promo promising she would be impartial, and, glaring at Triple H, she won't take any crap from anyone, period.

Linda then adds Hogan as an outside enforcer.

Let's see how WWE Uncreative screws this up.


magicdog said...

Just curious, have you seen the DTV of Scooby Doo Meets the WWE?

It was on CN this past weekend. I'm not a wrestling fan but it was amusing. The girls from YJ were shown in a cameo watching the smackdown!

hobbyfan said...

Haven't seen it yet. I am thinking of getting the DVD, though.