NFL 2023 preview, part 2: North & South

 NFC North:

It is a new era in Green Bay. Mason Crosby, arguably the best placekicker the Packers have had in ages, retired after the 2022 season. Aaron Rodgers took his drama to New York (Jets), along with Randall Cobb & Aaron Lazard. Jordan Love is the new QB, backed by rookie Sean Clifford. While the Pack rolled through the pre-season, the real fun starts September 10.

Journeyman QB Teddy Bridgewater returns to the NFC North, now with Detroit, and wearing an odd number for his position. Then again, with defensive players now allowed, as of last year, to wear single digits, just like in college, Bridgewater choosing a linebacker's number, 59, makes a bizarre sort of sense. Minnesota may regret dumping Dalvin Cook (Jets). Chicago brought in DJ Moore (Carolina) to give Justin Fields a big play receiver to throw to.

Projected order of finish:

1. Detroit.

2. Green Bay.

3. Chicago.

4. Minnesota.

AFC North:

Baltimore brought Odell Beckham, Jr. out of limbo (last with the Rams), and also added journeyman receiver Nelson Agholor (New England) to work with Lamar Jackson. Defensively, Jadaveon Clowney joins the defensive line after spending the last two years in Cleveland. Getting back to the playoffs is a certainty in "Charm City".

The biggest thing that stands out in Pittsburgh is drafting a 2nd generation defensive back in Joey Porter, Jr. (Penn State), whose dad was an assistant with the team for a number of years after retiring. The linebacking corps gets some help with Kwon Alexander coming in (Tampa Bay). In Cincinnati, Joe Burrow is just getting back onto the practice field after missing all of preseason with an injury. The Bengals should be fine. Cleveland is Cleveland.

Projected order of finish:

1. Baltimore.

2. Cincinnati.

2 (tie). Pittsburgh.

4. Cleveland.

NFC South:

The Derek Carr era begins in New Orleans, as Carr (Las Vegas) has supplanted Jameis Winston as the Saints' starter. That a former Raiders coach, Dennis Allen, is the coach in New Orleans will help orientate Carr in his new home. The Saints have some legal issues to deal with, though. Alvin Kamara starts the season suspended, and ageless tight end Jimmy Graham was involved with some legal problems recently.

Tampa Bay seems to think that Baker Mayfield is the heir to Tom Brady, rather than 3rd year pro Kyle Trask. Mayfield crashed & burned in Carolina, and, before that, Cleveland, peaking too soon, and spending too much time on commercials for Progressive Insurance. Speaking of the Panthers, top draft pick Bryce Young (Alabama), if given enough time, can be a difference maker for Carolina. It's year 2 for Desmond Ridder in Atlanta, but the Falcons aren't going anywhere.

Projected order of finish:

1. New Orleans.

2. Carolina.

3. Tampa Bay.

4. Atlanta.

AFC South:

Indianapolis is putting its trust in Shane Steichen to get them to the playoffs. Frank Reich was a failure, now in Carolina, but Steichen, a career assistant, is an unknown quantity. Rookie QB Anthony Richardson and veteran Gardner Minshew (Philadelphia) are pressing Sam Ehlinger for the starting job. Houston is making noise with rookie QB CJ Stroud (Ohio State) taking the starting job from Davis Mills. Tennessee just heisted veteran kicker Nick Folk from New England for draft picks. Meanwhile, they drafted another QB, Will Levis (Kentucky) to supplement Ryan Tannehill and Malik Willis. Whichever one is the starter will get to throw to DeAndre Hopkins, who returns to the division after spending the last three years in Arizona. Jacksonville is just looking for respect.

Projected order of finish:

1. Tennessee.

2. Houston.

2 (tie). Indianapolis.

4. Jacksonville.

Of course, I could be wrong.

Sounds of Praise: He's Got The Whole World in His Hands (1976)

 Despite the fact that he was a heel (villain) for most of his career, Windham Rotunda, aka Bray Wyatt, who passed away last week at 36, was likely a Christian off-camera. Why else would Wyatt, playing the part of a cult leader, use the gospel standard, "He's Got The Whole World in His Hands"?

"World" has its roots, though, in an African-American spiritual, and was first recorded for the US & UK charts by Laurie London in 1958. London hit #1 on the US pop chart, making "World" the only gospel record to "strike the summit" of the pop chart. 

In 1976, on her self-titled syndicated variety show, Dolly Parton teamed with Kenny Rogers for the first time. While Wyatt only recited the chorus over and over again, we get the complete version here, with Rogers & Parton on guitars.

A fitting place to be a fool at a ballgame

 It was the 7th inning of Monday's game between Atlanta & Colorado at Coors Field. The homestanding Rockies are getting blown out by the NL East leaders. Despite this, some idiots decided to get on the field, clearly wasted, and wanted to take a picture with Braves star Ronald Acuna, Jr.. Of course, it didn't end well.

Photo courtesy CBS Sports.

In all, three morons got on the field. The first one wanted to take a selfie. When he got in trouble with security, his friends joined in. All three were bum-rushed out of Coors Field, likely to never return.

Now, stop and think for a minute. If you wanted to take a selfie with the presumptive NL MVP, instead of waiting until the 7th inning, when your braincells have been soaked by the sponsor's suds, why not arrange a meet before the game?

We see drunken fans disrupt baseball & football games all the time. There's no more fitting place for something like this than at Coors Field, where it's rather obvious what will result from ill-timed fan interaction with a visiting player.

Videos of Summer: Steal My Sunshine (1999)

 Canada's Len had just one hit, and it was a doozy.

"Steal My Sunshine", sung by the brother-sister team of Marc & Sharon Costanzo, was on car radios everywhere in 1999.

Sports this 'n' that

 The Mets averted a sweep at the hands of the Angels, winning the finale, 3-2, earlier this afternoon. The game aired on Peacock on their premium tier. Rafael Ortega, who came over from the Cubs, drove in the game winner. Meanwhile, the Mets shut down Shohei Ohtani, who went 0-4.

Speaking of Ohtani, as you've heard by now, the Angels superstar has an elbow injury that will prevent him from pitching the rest of the season, but he can still swing the bat as the DH. The Mets kept him in the ballpark the entire series.

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As far as football goes, the Jets own New York. For now.

Gang Green defeated the Giants Saturday night, as Aaron Rodgers made his first preseason start and Jets debut. The two teams will meet again during the regular season.

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The Trey Lance era is over in San Francisco already.

The 49ers gave up on Lance, and traded him to Dallas for draft picks, which means Lance will back up Dak Prescott, while last year's rookie hero, Brock Purdy, will be the Niners' starter. Dallas sent draft picks to San Francisco to get Lance.

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These days, the only time the media cares about Little League baseball is during postseason tournaments. Locally, there isn't enough space or media interest in the prospects of kids who will later move on to high school and/or college ball.

Still, the Little League World Series is a benchmark that marks the end of summer for millions of kids globally, with school starting in some states, and classes beginning after Labor Day in others, including NY.

The final today matched El Segundo, California vs. an all-star team from Curacao. Highlights posted on YouTube include commentary from ESPN's Karl Ravech, Jessica Mendoza, and former LLWS hero and recently retired major leaguer Todd Frazier:

Chris Berman would refer to today's hero as Louis "Victory" Lappe, even though his surname rhymes with frappe.

Eduardo Perez flew to San Francisco for Sunday Night Baseball, with Cubs voice Jon Schiambi filling in for Ravech in calling the Braves-Giants game.

Bob Barker (1923-2023)

 It has come across the wires that game show icon and animal rights activist Bob Barker has passed away at 99.

Barker made his television debut taking over as host of Truth or Consequences on New Year's Eve, 1956, tapped by original host and executive producer Ralph Edwards (This is Your Life) to succeed Jack Bailey, who had succeeded Edwards in 1954. While still hosting Truth, Barker picked up a 2nd gig, hosting Chuck Barris' short-lived Family Game in 1967. Five years later, when Mark Goodson & Bill Todman revived The Price is Right for CBS, Barker got the call. Truth ended three years later in syndication.

In the 90's, Barker famously branched out into acting, appearing in "Happy Gilmore" with Adam Sandler, and got into a fist fight on the golf course with Gilmore (Sandler), shedding his family-friendly image with some choice, coarse language.

A few years later, Barker appeared on WWE Monday Night Raw as a guest host du jour, and got into a spat with wrestler-musician Chris Jericho (now with AEW). 

From 1966, a sample episode of Truth or Consequences:

Rest in peace, Bob. Heaven has set up a Showcase for you.

Weasel of The Week: Fibber Jordan

 Well, here we go again.

Having learned nothing from his attempt to interfere in Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg's investigation into Donald Trump, Ohio Misrepresentative Fibber Jordan is doing the same thing, this time demanding documents from Fulton County DA Fani Willis, who should take the time to inform Jordan to do what he does best. Pound sand.

Farron Cousins explains.

What's next? A dog & pony show, sans dogs & ponies, in Atlanta? As Farron asserts, the Department of Justice should step in and shut Jordan down by investigating him for abusing his authority in service to Trump. If Jordan, a professional moron, isn't careful, he could wind up getting a subpoena himself. For now, he gets a set of Weasel ears, largely because that's what he is.

A Classic Reborn (again?): The Saint (1987)

 Two things to talk about, actually.

In the summer of 1987, CBS revived the anthology series, Summer Playhouse, as a vehicle for unsold pilots. Tim & Daphne Maxwell Reid, two months away from Frank's Place, served as hosts, and the gimmick this time was viewers were given phone numbers to call to help the network decide if they wanted to keep a specific pilot.

In this case, it was The Saint.

CBS had been home to Ian Oglivy and Return of The Saint as part of the CBS Late Movie package a few years earlier, but, oh, did they misfire with the casting of this adaptation of Leslie Charteris' iconic anti-hero.

Australian Andrew Clarke was cast as Simon Templar, but one look at him, and you get the feeling network suits weren't thinking straight. They went out and got an Australian knockoff of Thomas Magnum (Tom Selleck).

Anyway, Templar arrives in New York, and runs afoul of Inspector Fernack (Kevin Tighe, ex-Emergency!, and in the beginning of a career revival, mostly in movies such as "Eight Men Out" & "Road House".). Fernack, in the books, was the American equivalent of Inspector Teal, a frequent nemesis of Templar.

What you'll see is the first few minutes of "The Saint in Manhattan", bracketed by the Reids.

No rating.

Most defendants accept the procedure without question. This one whines to fundraise when he shouldn't be allowed to

 All but 2 of the defendants in the Fulton County racketeering case involving former president Donald John Narcissus Trump have surrendered. This includes Trump, Rudy Goofiani, Silly Sidney Powell, Mark "No Liberty" Meadows, John Eastman, and Jeffrey Clark.

In the midst of all this, perhaps knowing his Truthless Social is about to go under, Trump returned to X (formerly Twitter), finally accepting the invitation, if you will, from Elon Musk, and promptly posted his mugshot, such as that is, and did what he does best. Whine, lie, & cry in order to grift his supporters yet again.

His first tweet since the winter of 2021 included a link to his website for the purposes of fundraising/grifting, and, as we all know, for someone who claims to be very, very rich, he's too cheap to actually pay his legal bills, and needed a bail bondsman to pay his $200,000 bond Thursday night. When will the facade end?

Before returning to Bedminster in New Jersey, Trump held court at the airport and continued to lie about the case, claiming it's "election interference" when it clearly is not.

"WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! They hate me! They don't want me to be president again! They're screwing me! WAAAAHHHHHH!"

Wrong again, strained spinach breath! You tried to weasel your way back to the White House in 2020, got your butt smacked down 7 ways to Sunday, and you, nearly 3 years later, can't handle it like a responsible adult. You can't take a mugshot right! You have to look like a bully with that mugshot. Do us all a favor, Citizen Pampers, and grow up!!

The average criminal defendant looks calm & relaxed, as we noted before. This attention-addicted narcissist doesn't know how to relax. To him, image is everything, and he's anything but a strong man.

Meanwhile, Georgia GOPers are conspiring to try to help the Oldest Baby in America by passing legislation that could remove Fani Willis from the case. That ain't happening. Trump is going to have to accept the fact that for once in his life, he will be held accountable, and since he doesn't like it, too bad! It's time to stop the grift, man up, grow a set, and accept responsibility. Roy Cohn can't save you, Trump. Daddy's false wisdom can't save you. Last and certainly not least, because you have lied to your supporters about your "faith", well, God will have the last word.

Are you sure that's a mugshot?

 When people are arrested, booked, and have their mugshots taken, they're told to be relaxed.

Donald Trump doesn't know how to relax.

The former president surrendered to law enforcement in Fulton County, Georgia, and, as promised, had his mugshot taken thus:

Friends, that is the picture of an arrogant, defiant, unrepentant con man who still claims he was screwed in 2020. This man looks more like a cartoon villain, don't you think?

NFL 2023 preview, part 1: AFC & NFC East

 With 2 weeks before the real season begins, it's time to take a look at the NFL of 2023.

AFC East:

The balance of power in the division may again be shifting, and the cautious approach employed by most teams means that while some are "struggling" in the pre-season, things should snap back to normal when the bell rings in Week 1.

Take, for example, the Jets.

15 years ago, Gang Green took a chance on Brett Favre after Green Bay let him go. One sexting scandal later, he was gone, and spent his final 2 seasons in Minnesota. Now, his successor with the Packers, Aaron Rodgers, is a Jet, and brought with him receivers Aaron Lazard and Randall Cobb. The Jets also picked up running back Dalvin Cook (Minnesota) and receiver Mecole Hardman (Kansas City). Good thing, too, with the news today that receiver Corey Davis has retired after 2 seasons.

New England may be angling to get back into the playoff hunt, winning the chase for Ezekiel Elliott (Dallas), giving them a potentially lethal 1-2 punch at running back with Rhamondre Stevenson. Now, all they need is to figure out which of their quarterbacks, Mac Jones or Bailey Zappe, can be a consistent winner.

Buffalo said goodbye to receiver Cole Beasley (Giants), and hello to Andy Isabella (Baltimore). Other than that, the biggest news would be the return of defensive back Damar Hamlin to the field in week 1 vs. the Jets. Miami basically stood pat.

Projected order of finish:

1. Buffalo.

2. New England.

3. Jets.

3 (tie). Miami.

NFC East:

The biggest change in Washington is not really on the roster. Offensive coordinator Eric "Sleeping With" Bienemy came over from Kansas City, and infused some fresh energy into the Commanders' offense. Washington has won 2 of the last 3 division titles, and would like to become Chiefs East. Maybe that explains why some Native American activists want the team to change their name back to the Redskins.

Former Syracuse QB Tommy DeVitto has landed with the Giants after playing his senior season at Illinois last year. Could wind up being Daniel Jones' caddy and/or successor based on what we've seen. In addition to Cole Beasley, the Giants also picked up Jamison Crowder from the Jets to boost their receiving corps. Philadelphia added to their backfield by picking up running back Rashaad Penny (Seattle), adding to an already lethal unit. Dallas may have weakened themselves by parting with Ezekiel Elliott, worried so much more about Dak Prescott. As long as Jerry Jones continues to misrun football operations, they won't be division champions.

Projected order of finish:

1. Philadelphia.

2. Washington.

3. Giants. 

4. Dallas.

Of course, I could be wrong.

CBS Fall preview 50 years ago (1973)

 CBS spent more time in their 1973 fall preview hyping their returning shows than their freshman class. Small wonder that most of those 1st year series flopped.

The Class of '73:

The New Perry Mason. With Raymond Burr now playing Ironside on NBC, Monte Markham (ex-The Second Hundred Years) takes over as Mason. One problem. It's airing opposite Disney and The FBI. Thanks for coming. Replaced by Apple's Way after the holidays.

The New CBS Tuesday Night Movies, which was mostly Hawkins and Shaft alternating. Not quite a full wheel like what NBC was doing.

Kojak. Telly Savalas' seminal cop anchored the Wednesday lineup, backing up Sonny & Cher and Cannon.

Calucci's Department: James Coco works for a state unemployment service. Depressing stuff from Ed Sullivan's production company, opposite Sanford & Son and The Brady Bunch. Replaced by the Gunsmoke spin-off, Dirty Sally.

Roll Out!: Stu Gilliam, Hilly Hicks, & Val Bisoglio head the ensemble in this series, which would've been more appropriate to put opposite Sanford. 

Danny Dark, Keebler pitchman, radio personality, and soon to be a newly minted voice actor, narrates.

Mind the video quality. We've reviewed all except Shaft. 

And, so, the clown show will soon begin without the head clown..........

 You know by now that former president Donald Trump has decided he won't participate in any debate, including the opener tomorrow in Milwaukee. The reason? The Oldest Baby in America doesn't want to sign a clause stating that he would support the GOP nominee if it's someone other than himself. What a surprise.

"NO! NO! NO! I am the nominee! I won't sign! I don't need you!"

Instead, the Archduke of Affluenza will sit for an interview on social media, previously recorded, with Tucker Carlson. Otherwise, Citizen Pampers will be in New Jersey, while other candidates, including former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson, former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley, and businessman Vivek Ramaswamy, will be on stage in Milwaukee. Christie & Hutchinson in particular have accused Trump of being scared. We saw three years ago that Trump is not a good debater, despite what his brainwashed acolytes say to the contrary.

There will be a contingent flying in to support the Tangerine Turncoat, including Kryin' Kari Lake, Empty-G, and Rusty Gaetz. However, they're not getting free passes from Fox News, which will air the event live, moderated by Martha McCallum & Bret Baier. Dumb Donald II has also indicated he would stand for his father. Without Trump and his non-stop denials & lies about 2020 and his indictments, it should be fairly easy for the rest of the field to establish themselves on the national stage.

Citizen Pampers' message to the GOP is this. Most, but not all, polls have him comfortably in front in the GOP race, and he doesn't need to be there, which goes against his obsessive need for the spotlight. He won't sign the loyalty pledge, because he believes the nomination is already sewn up, a year before the convention. That can change, especially if he can't wiggle his way out of legal trouble, but try telling that to a guy who is allergic to truth.

Celebrity Rock: Suave & Debonair (The Gong Show, 1979)

 While The Gong Show ended its NBC run in 1978, Chuck Barris and his parody of talent shows soldiered on in syndication for 2 more seasons, ending in 1980.

This 1979 offering leads off with the act Suave & Debonair, performing the song of the same name. Paul Reubens & John Paragon ended up in a tie for first with a perfect score of 30, but lost via tiebreaker. Series regular Jaye P. Morgan, or, as Barris would put it, "Jaye P. Mor-goan"), is joined by Wayland Flowers & Madame (The Hollywood Squares) and Carl Ballantine (ex-McHale's Navy).

In all, Reubens, playing various characters, appeared 15 times on Gong. Amazingly, Barris never returned the favor by appearing on Pee-Wee's Playhouse.

It's clear Flowers went to the Edgar Bergen school of ventriloquism, as you can see him mouthing Madame's lines.

Dunce Cap Award: Eric Trump

 This is too easy to pass up.

Eric Trump, the middle son of the former president, proved yet again just how dim he really is. He's making half-brother Barron, soon to be a high school senior, look like a genius by comparison.

I'll let Farron Cousins break down Eric's latest gaffe:

If you could market BS, Eric, you'd be rich beyond your wildest dreams, because that's become the family's biggest asset.

I should note, too, that there hasn't been word one outside of a media report last week about how Barron was the target of a death threat alongside his father. In comparison to his half-siblings, Barron is as innocent as possible, shielded from the media scrutiny by his mother, Melania. He didn't deserve to get death threats, if only because of guilt by association with his weasel of a father.

Eric, meanwhile, gets the latest in a long string of Dunce Caps collected by his father and older brother, Dumb Donald II. It's just too bad the Liars Club closed a long time ago.

Forgotten TV: Mouth to Mouth (1988)

 In the fall of 1988, MTV had built a reasonably successful early evening block with Dial MTV, Remote Control, & The Half-Hour Comedy Hour, the latter pair airing four nights a week due to the Top 20 Video Countdown, by this time now hosted by Adam Curry, airing on Fridays.

Some genius thought it might be a good idea to expand the block into primetime. The first experiment, though, didn't have the staying power MTV thought it would.

Mouth to Mouth was a call-in interview series hosted by comedian Steve Skrovan, and debuted on Halloween night. Three months later, it was gone, a victim of low ratings because teens were likely ceding the television to the parents by 8 pm most nights. If you're wondering what took over the 8 pm (ET) berth, I've an easy answer for you. MTV welcomed back prodigal daughter Martha Quinn in February 1989 with Deja Video: The 80's Revisited, aka Classic MTV, which was only a half hour, as opposed to Mouth being an hour long show. I can imagine the ratings took off like a rocket upon Martha's return.

In this sample clip (no complete episodes), Skrovan is joined by Kiss vocalist Paul Stanley.

After Mouth ended, Skrovan left MTV for Fox's Totally Hidden Video, and has since become a successful writer & producer. Suffice to say, he made some lemonade out of this lemon.

No rating. Never saw the show.

Musical Interlude: You Make My Dreams (1980-1)

 Hall & Oates' peppy, bouncy "You Make My Dreams" was the final single off 1980's "Voices". There's a reason why I picked this song.

If you're like me, and you're watching the Little League World Series on ESPN, you'll recognize the opening riffs from "Dreams" playing as they go to commercial breaks after most innings. I guess they went with the basic theme behind the title.......

Remember Mr. Dirt? (1972)

 Mobil had one of the first iconic commercial characters of the 70's when they introduced Mr. Dirt in 1972. Actor-comedian-screenwriter Ronny Graham brought Mr. Dirt to life in a series of spots, including this one:

In addition to the commercials, Ronny found opportunities to appear on such shows as M*A*S*H and Chico & The Man, playing a preacher on the latter series during season 2.

Forgotten TV: You Can be a Star (1983)

 You Can be a Star was the original Nashville Network's answer to Star Search, except that Star, hosted by country singer Jim Ed Brown, was a daily series. Also, Star lasted just six years (1983-9), or half as long as Star Search. It's amazing that a daily talent show lasted as long as it did

Here's a sampler from 1984, uploaded to YouTube by contestant Joey Carmon:

No rating. Didn't see the show.

If you're not going to carry out your threat, why make the call anyway?

 Nearly two weeks ago, Abigail Jo Shry of Alvin, Texas called in a death threat directly to Judge Tanya Chutkan. Shry, after being arrested, told investigators she probably wasn't going to carry out the threat after all, which suggests she wanted to scare Chutkan into dismissing the case against former president Donald Trump.

Shry also threatened a Houston Democrat, Sheila Jackson Lee, and the entire LGTBQ community.

This is what people who bow at the altar of Trump will do for their false god. If it can be proven that Shry was just looking to scare Chutkan with her threat, and, essentially, knew what she was doing, a prison sentence would be likely. A lot of Trump supporters are being characterized in the media as being unhinged and deranged, much like Trump himself has been portrayed. As he puts on an act, so do they, such that it's hard to tell who's really got their marbles in place or not.

What Shry and others like her don't realize is that they're blindly following a con man who won't spend a dime, despite claims to the contrary, to help them if they get into legal trouble. Take, for example, the financial quagmire lawyers Jenna Ellis & Rudy Goofiani have gotten themselves into after their indictments earlier this week, if you believe some of those clickbait channels.

At this point, there are two kinds of Trump supporters. The gullible types who need to justify their own gripes with the government and will blindly follow Trump, and the ones disengaged from reality who potentially are a danger to themselves. Those are the ones who need psychiatric treatment yesterday. A deprogramming center would be needed to open in virtually all 50 states, including here in NY, to bring these people out of 8 years and counting of brainwashing.

Now, we just have to figure out how to classify the Washington Idiot Squad, whose membership includes the likes of Empty-G, Fibber Jordan, Goofy Gosar, Rusty Gaetz, and Screwy Louie Goemert. Are they blindly following Trump to further their careers? Or are they just that gullible?

Musical Interlude: Old Joe's Place (2003)

 From "A Mighty Wind":

The Folksmen (Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, & Harry Shearer) serve up some tasty folk with a country beat (I can picture this actually being done bluegrass style, this is so good for what is meant to be a satire) with "Old Joe's Place". I really do need to see the movie......

When it's Shearer's turn to sing (as Mark), he uses the same voice he does for Principal Skinner from The Simpsons.

What Might've Been: Bet on Your Baby (2013)

 This ain't exactly Baby Races 2.0, but betting on what your child does in a particular situation? That's the world we live in today.

Bet on Your Baby ran for 2 short seasons between 2013-4 on ABC, hosted by actress Melissa Peterman (ex-Reba). Truth be told, it actually flew under the radar, as I don't recall reading about this when it first came out.

Historically, game shows with small children don't fare very well. ABC had The Baby Game in the 60's. The Family Channel (now Freeform) was home to Baby Races 30 years ago. Each lasted a season. The revived Generation Gap, also on ABC, is in its 2nd season, and, yes, they've had kindergarteners play the game as part of family competition. I think that also applied to Family Game Night on the late, lamented Hub a decade ago.

Let's check out a network promo:

Packaged by Procter & Gamble, a rare non-soap opera from the company. You were expecting maybe Hallmark?

No rating.

Two carpetbaggers were foiled in running for Senate last year, but there is one already in office

 You will recall that last year, former football hero Herschel Walker ran for Senate in Georgia while maintaining a residence in Texas that he had supposedly relocated from to return to the Peach State, where he made his name in college.

Dr. Mehmet Oz ran for Senate in Pennsylvania, but was based in New Jersey.

The common link? Both lost. Walker came across as totally clueless. Oz, at least, conceded defeat with dignity. Both were, shall we say, persuaded by a certain bloviator to run.

One wonders if that same bloviator also had a hand in former college football coach Tommy Tuberville running and winning a Senate seat in Alabama. You see, the problem that has now surfaced with Tuberville is that he, too, has become a carpetbagger. Living in Florida with his wife while claiming a residence in Auburn, Alabama that his namesake son owns (different middle initials). Tuberville traded on his coaching record at Auburn. As Farron Cousins explains, Tuberville found a loophole that allows him to remain in office.

You'll recall, also, that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had been elected as a Senator from NY after she and her husband, former President Bill Clinton, had established NY residency. The rules are different here than in Alabama. But, how much do you want to bet that there'll be a push to close the loophole Tuberville exploited, and turn him into a one term wonder?

At this rate, maybe the next GOP convention should be held in an appropriate setting, like Leavenworth.

You can domesticate a dog family, but their dinner is just the same (1975)

 Gaines, a division of General Foods at the time, experimented with not only having real dogs given human voices, but doing the same with costumed actors dressed as dogs, in the 70's.

Take, for example, this 1975 bit for Gravy Train with a husband & wife set of dogs. The wife's voice is that of actress Judy Graubart (The Electric Company). The husband could be Skip Hinnant (also from The Electric Company) or a slightly toned down Barry Gordon, I'm not sure which.

Sports this 'n' that

 Veteran MLB umpire Angel Hernandez has drawn & raised the ire of players, managers, coaches, & fans throughout his career for some poor judgment in making calls on the field.

A few years ago, Hernandez filed suit against MLB, claiming racial discrimination prevented him from being promoted to a full-time crew chief. He was an interim chief for a few years, but that wasn't enough. Unfortunately, Hernandez lost the suit. He tried filing it again, and he struck out again on Monday.

File photo courtesy Yahoo!.

Hernandez missed the first half of the 2023 season with an undisclosed injury, proving that umpires are human, too. The Cuban native isn't exactly a popular guy, and may be carrying a chip on his shoulder because of his legal issues with MLB. That won't end well. Trust me.

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ESPN has parted ways with reporter-anchor Sage Steele after 16 years. Steele had issues with her employers after making some remarks about the network's COVID policies last year, and while she still worked, you had to figure she wasn't going to stick around much longer. She settled litigation on Monday, and said her good-byes. Don't know if she'll be picked up by another network straight away, though, so we'll wait & see.

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The balance of power may be shifting again in the AFC East.

The New England Patriots fortified their backfield by signing free agent running back Ezekiel Elliott (Dallas). This will give the Pats a 1-2 punch by coupling Elliott with Rhahondre Stevenson behind QB Mac Jones.

The Jests did the same thing, signing Dalvin Cook (Minnesota) to a 1 year deal worth more than 8 1/2 million dollars. The Jests have Breece Hall coming back from an ACL injury, and Michael Carter, a 3rd year back, is listed as #2 on the depth chart. Aaron Rodgers' 1st season in the AFC should be interesting.

What Might've Been: Rhyme & Reason (1975)

 Rhyme & Reason was a unique panel game in that the gimmick to this show as poetry.

Designed as a vehicle for series regular Nipsey Russell, billed as the poet laureate of television, Rhyme, hosted by Bob Eubanks, fresh from the 1st iteration of The Newlywed Game, lasted one full year on ABC (1975-6) before being cancelled. By that point, the networks had started expanding daytime soaps. NBC's Days of Our Lives (now on Peacock) and CBS' As The World Turns had expanded to an hour, which ultimately sealed Rhyme's fate.

On the bright side, its replacement has become an icon unto itself. Family Feud premiered the following Monday.

Let's take a look at a portion of the pilot. Russell &  Richard Dawson are joined by Jack Cassidy, Lee Meriweather (Barnaby Jones), Adrienne Barbeau (Maude), & Jaye P. Morgan.

Rating: B.

If you're going to act like a child, that doesn't mean you're going to be treated like one. Or: Guess who needs a social media timeout?

 On Friday, Judge Tanya Chutkan made it clear that there are certain things that Donald Trump can and cannot talk about. The latter includes making threats toward prosecutors such as NY Attorney General Letitia James, NYC DA Alvin Bragg, and special prosecutor Jack Smith, and judges such as Chutkan and, in NY, Juan Merchan. Of course, Trump, on his 5th childhood, won't pay attention, convinced that his 1st Amendment rights are being violated (they're not), and whined and cried at a rally in Iowa over the weekend.

"WAAAAAHHHHH! They're not fair! WAAAHHHHH!"

Showing his racist side, Trump made false claims about Fulton County DA Fani Willis when his attempts to force her recusal from the case there didn't work. Today, Merchan smacked down demands from Team Pampers to recuse himself because of his daughter's involvement in an unrelated case a year ago. Trump fails to understand, purposefully, of course, that not all judges are like Aileen "Shot From a" Cannon in Florida, who's already being hammered for botching other cases that don't involve the oldest baby in America, and yet, she still tries to provide cover. Makes ya wonder if there isn't any side action at Mar-a-Lame-O involving her and Mango Beavis.......!

Chutkan had warned that if Trump decided to be the immature jerk he usually is, she would, at her discretion, bring the trial date forward, whether he and his remaining ambulance chasers like it or not. The best way to silence him is, of course, forcing him to serve some jail time, and separate him from his phone, taking him off Truthless Social. Kinda reminds me of an old E-Trade commercial involving that baby and his tablet.......

Of course, the E-Trade baby has more class and talent than Trump, but that's beside the point. Trump puts on the act of being an immature brat to incite his base, which can't tell the difference between fact or fiction any more than Trump himself can. Bottom line is, Trump needs to be taken off social media for the duration, and if he doesn't like it, that's just too bad for him and his base.

Classic TV: Disney introduces viewers to Space Mountain (Wonderful World of Disney, 1975)

 By the mid-70's, the Wonderful World of Disney, the lead in NBC's Sunday lineup, offered more original episodes, in addition to splitting feature films into two parts, or commissioning original multi-parters.

One of these original shows was taped at Disney World in Orlando to introduce viewers to the park's then-newest attraction, Space Mountain.

Lucie Arnaz (ex-Here's Lucy) hosts, aided by Tommy Tune, who also serves as choreographer, and Lyle Waggoner, who was in the midst of transitioning from The Carol Burnett Show to Wonder Woman at this point.

No rating. My folks were watching something else that night.

Dunce Cap Award: Greg Steube

 When will Republicans learn that unless you have hard, concrete evidence of high crimes & misdemeanors, you're wasting everyone's time on a petty vendetta against President Biden and his family?

Florida Misrepresentative Greg Steube introduced 4 articles of impeachment against Biden on Friday, but, as usual, has no evidence to support his claims. It's a coincidence, of course, that it comes on the same day that Merrick Garland, head of the Department of Justice, appointed Delaware prosecutor David Weiss as a special prosecutor to investigate Hunter Biden, despite the fact that Weiss, a Donald Trump appointee, supposedly fumbled when he offered the younger Biden a plea deal a few weeks back. No investigation to this point has had any legitimate links between father & son in the latter's business dealings, but GOPers like Steube don't care. 

Someone get him a copy of Santayana!!

Steube, only now, wants the publicity that fellow Florida "lawmakers" Matt "Rusty" Gaetz and Marco "Polo" Rubio have gotten, but he's walking the same fine line of stupid as two other colleagues, Colorado airhead Lauren Boebert, and Georgia's Duchess of Dumb, Marjorie Taylor Greene. Steube claims, again, without evidence, that Biden:

1. Undermined the integrity of his office. Oh, really? You want to talk about undermining integrity? Look no further than your colleagues swearing fealty to a 77 year old toddler.

2. Brought disrepute upon the Presidency. No, he didn't, dummy. That was your guy, Diaper Don.

3. Betrayed his trust as President. Again, that was Trump.

4. Acted in a manner subversive to the rule of law at the expense of America's citizens. I'm calling total BS on this one. That, once again, describes Trump!

As if you couldn't guess, Steube-Dum is following the leaden footsteps of Lauren Balloon and Empty-G, and like those two bubble-heads, his articles are going nowhere.

We sought comments from one of Steube-Dum's constituents in Sarasota.

"Uh, what's impeachment?"

What a surprise. By the way, for those of you who don't know who that is above, that is Scooby-Dum, Scooby-Doo's brother, who got his 15 minutes between 1976-8.

Of course, you know what Steube's getting, although he could borrow one from Empty-G's growing collection:

Serves him right.

What Might've Been: 240-Robert (1979)

 With the success of CHiPs, Rick Rosner was approached by ABC about developing a series for them, similar to what he'd accomplished for NBC.

240-Robert, which dramatized cases of the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department, was a rare bird in that it premiered in late August, well ahead of the official start of the fall season. This was Mark Harmon's 1st starring role, paired with Joanna Cassidy and John Bennett Perry. However, Harmon's & Cassidy's contracts expired after the first season, and Pamela Hensley, who was recurring on Buck Rogers in The 25th Century, was brought in to replace Cassidy.

However, the 2nd season was just 3 episodes long due to 1) a writers' strike, and 2) low ratings when the series returned.

Rosner co-produced the series with Filmways, giving the studio their first primetime sale to ABC since 1966. The studio was at the time the parent company of Ruby-Spears, which sold Fangface & Plastic Man to ABC before it became part of Taft Entertainment.

Let's take a look at a sample episode from season 1, with a pre-Three's Company Jenilee Harrison among the guest stars. The teaser for the following week's show gives us something you didn't expect. Mark Harmon picking up a guitar to sing.

No rating.

Musical Interlude: Stone Cold (1982)

 Rainbow's "Stone Cold" was the 1st single off 1982's "Straight Between The Eyes". The hook here is a recurring spot, usually during the bridge and/or chorus where singer Joe Lynn Turner is in a mirror room with some models with platinum wigs and plastic mannequin-esque masks.

If that bit with the mirrors looks familiar, a few months later, another British band, A Flock of Seagulls, would use the same gimmick with singer Mike Score in a similar sitch, in the video for "I Ran (So Far Away)", which was the Flock's 1st single, only the models here had dark hair and no masks.

Another day, another right wing idiot making false claims about "woke"

 Last fall, Kellogg's introduced a limited edition cereal, Pride.

Iconic mascot Tony the Tiger was photographed with transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney two months ago at the Tony Awards in New York.

Singer-game show host RuPaul adorned boxes of Cheez-It crackers.

It's mid-August, and after Kellogg's put out some Pop-Tarts with rainbow frosting, former White House aide Stephen Miller went cuckoo.

Picture of a moron. Courtesy Yahoo!.

Miller and his group have filed a frivolous lawsuit against Kellogg's, falsely claiming (of course) that the breakfast giant is "sexualizing" children.

To borrow a line from the Fresh Prince, hmmmmmmmmm, wellllllllllllll, of course not!!

Miller, like other conservative scum, thinks Kellogg's has gone "woke", but if you ask him what "woke" means, he'll avoid answering, because, of course, he doesn't know. "Woke", to right wingers, is just a buzzword to incite their low-information base.

Note at the beginning I made reference to Pride cereal being a "limited edition" product. That means it was intended to be issued as part of a promotion. That part is lost on conservative idiots like Miller.

Here's the thing. Punks like Miller leave themselves wide open for possible defamation suits from corporations like Kellogg's, Anheuser-Busch, Mars Wrigley, et al, but the corporations, perhaps wisely, refrain from litigation, even though winning those suits would be a slam dunk. Until someone does, Miller will continue to smear cherished, iconic products, and that's a crime unto itself.

A GOP debate without Donald Trump might actually be a good thing........

 With the first GOP Presidential debate for 2024 less than 2 weeks away, it seems as though not everyone who has declared their candidacy will be on the debate stage, and that includes presumptive front runner Donald John Narcissus Trump.

You see, several weeks back Republican National Committee chair Ronna McDaniel told the candidates they had to sign a loyalty pledge to ensure their participation in that first debate. Some, like Nikki Haley, Ron DeSantis, and Chris Christie, have signed, and will be on the debate stage. Guess who hasn't signed?

Yup. Trump.

The former president, the man who mandated loyalty to him instead of the country when he was president, won't sign the pledge, believing he doesn't need to. Problem is, as Farron Cousins explains, if Trump doesn't sign, and doesn't show up for the first debate, stick a fork in him as far as future debates are concerned, because he won't participate at all.

As Farron asserts, it may come down to Trump's ginormous ego dictating what he ultimately does.

Trump's constant lying and embellishing will get him in trouble, because, of course it will. He wants the spotlight, and as Farron hints, McDaniel may give the Oldest Baby in America a free pass because he does mean ratings to the networks. However, if you leave off Trump and his tired, persistent whining and juvenile insults, it might actually be a boon for the GOP, because the others will have a chance to discuss policy plans without Fraud Fauntleroy talking over them every two seconds. 

Let's face it. Trump's act is so stale, bread mold is on strike. Fresh air on the debate stage might actually work in the GOP's favor.

Look who's shilling for Ford Mustang! (1971)

 Ford was pushing the Mustang pretty strong during the 70's, as they did with all of their other models. The Mustang ads, though, had some star power.

Sid Caesar (ex-Your Show of Shows) appears in the first two (don't know who plays his wife) ads. Ad #3 features Farrah Fawcett, who did a lot of commercials in those days, and William Christopher (ex-Gomer Pyle USMC), a year before he joined the cast of M*A*S*H. For what it's worth, the narrator in the first Caesar ad sounds like ol' Morris the Cat himself, John Erwin. Can't get a clear make on the actor in the last of the four ads. Some people think it was Robert Redford, who'd made his name in movies by then.

What Might've Been: Turn On (1969)

 I think most of you know the story about this one.

ABC had asked George Schlatter to come up with something akin to Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In on NBC, but at half the length, with the jokes at twice the speed.

That formula resulted in Turn On being cancelled while it was still on the air on its opening night. 

Let me repeat that. It was cancelled while the 1st episode was on the air!

Yes, Turn On was an even bigger bomb than Jackie Gleason's You're in The Picture, which led to Gleason explaining the failure a week later. ABC didn't give Schlatter and Ed Friendly that satisfaction. Not even a cherished star like Tim Conway, the host du jour opening night, was enough to keep people interested. The only other familiar faces were Theresa Graves, who'd later move to Laugh-In, and, after that, Get Christie Love!, and New York children's show legend Chuck McCann.

Here's that one infamous episode:

A 2nd episode has turned up on YouTube, with Robert Culp (ex-I Spy, Trackdown) and then-wife France Nuyen as hosts.

If it was on, say, at 10 pm (ET), instead of an earlier berth, would things have been different? We'll never know.

Rating: C.

Musical Interlude: Ophelia (1975-8)

 The Band, NY music legends, originally recorded "Ophelia" in 1975. Three years later, it was included in the concert movie, "The Last Waltz", directed by another legend, Martin Scorcese. Written by J. Robbie Robertson, lead vocal by drummer Levon Helm.

In memory of Robertson, 80, who passed away earlier today. Rest in peace.

John Lauro is finding out what other lawyers have. You can't defend a baby who never grew up (mentally, that is)

 After embarrassing himself on national television on Sunday, attorney John Lauro, the latest to risk his reputation by representing the oldest baby in America, Donald Trump, is attempting to dissuade his client from demanding that Judge Tanya Chutkin be recused from the case she is to hear in Washington. Lauro has floated the idea of moving the case to GOP-friendly West Virginia (good luck with that). We'll let Farron Cousins break it down, and then, we'll say the quiet part out loud.

So, like, what's the real reason Trump doesn't want Chutkin? That's really very easy. Citizen Pampers has to deal with a female African-American judge who won't bow down to him like Aileen "Shot From a" Cannon is trying to do in Florida (and will ultimately fail). 

"WAAAAHHHHH! She's biased against me! WAAAHHHHHH!"

No, she's not, Diaper Don. Get a clue.

Trump is putting on the act for the low-information, suburban base of racist bigots who remain loyal to him, blind to the fact that he might not be on the ballot in 15 months after all. Speaking of Judge Cannon, she's already rumblin', bumblin', & stumblin' toward possible disqualification if the case she has goes to the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals, which has previously reversed pro-Trump rulings she made a year ago. She has no idea that by denying special prosecutor Jack Smith and the Department of Justice the right to keep certain information confidential, it creates more targets for Trump and his followers. And the more Trump lashes out like a baby, the worse it's going to get for him between now and next year.

WWE & Slim Jim----together again (2023, 1995)

 If you watched Summerslam over the weekend, you probably saw this next item:

For the first time in nearly 30 years, Slim Jim beef snacks, now made by ConAgra Foods, sponsored a WWE event, or, more specifically, a specific match. LA Knight (Shaun Rickert) was the winner of that match. In the name of equality, Bianca Belair joins Knight, and a video monitor uses some vintage footage of the late "Macho Man" Randy Savage, a pitchman for Slim Jim back in the 90's, not only with WWE, but, in this 1995 clip, with WCW.

It's been a while since Slim Jim mounted an ad campaign, and it feels like old times.

The Baltimore Orioles benched their play-by-play announcer. The backlash has been severe

 Two weeks ago, Baltimore Orioles play-by-play announcer Kevin Brown, no relation to the former pitcher, noted the fact that the Orioles, in 1st place in the AL East, had beaten the Tampa Bay Rays three times to that point in the 2023 season, or, the same amount of times between 2020-2. The graphics department at MASN (Mid Atlantic Sports Network) served up some stats that supported Brown's comments.

Orioles owner Peter Angelos was not pleased to be reminded of the team's recent struggles before their ascent to the division lead this season, and Brown was effectively benched.

On Monday, the play-by-play callers for other teams teamed up to support Brown, including Michael Kay (Yankees), Gary Cohen (Mets), and Jason Benetti (White Sox/ESPN). Former ESPN personality Keith Olbermann also weighed in.

Kevin Brown. Photo courtesy of Awful Announcing vis Twitter/X.

Angelos, you might remember, was lambasted for years as a poor man's George Steinbrenner wanna-be. Olbermann declared John Angelos, the Orioles' CEO, as the "Worst Person in The World", earlier this morning.

Look, I get it. The Birds are flying high, angling for a playoff spot. They have come off a sweep of the Mets. Management is just a little thin-skinned right now about their recent past, but every team, even the Yankees, has gone through that, and they deal with it in a far more professional manner. Brown is in his 5th season as the voice of the Orioles, succeeding Gary Thorne. Cohen & Benetti have both suggested that if the Orioles dump Brown altogether because of such petty, childish tantrums as thrown by management, other teams, and, for that matter, Fox or ESPN, would be more than happy to bring him in.

Prediction: Brown will be back in the booth after the backlash, perhaps as early as this weekend.

Here we go again: Now, conservatives are whining about Harry's razors because they partnered with a transgender male. Last year

 Conservatives, if confronted, don't know what "woke" really means. To them, it's a buzzword for anything that they don't like culturally.

After a boycott against Anheuser-Busch, makers of Bud Light, two months ago, right wing whiners are now targeting Harry's, an independent brand of shaving products that launched 11 years ago, and has advertised on radio, more than television, in this writer's view.

This ad will help you get acquainted with Harry's.

See, last year, Harry's entered into a deal with transgender male Luke Pearson, not too dissimilar from the deal Bud Light cut with transgender female Dylan Mulvaney earlier this year. The difference? Harry's is a smaller company looking to grow its brand any way they can. Why it took so long for right wing crybabies to launch a boycott? Jealousy.

Bent-over Shapiro co-founded a rival company, Jeremy's, targeted at conservative users, but it's not as readily available as Harry's or more well known brands like Schick or Gillette, all of which are available at Walmart. In case you wonder about another recent addition, the Dollar Shave Club, it's marketed by Unilever. Edgewell, the parent company of Schick, attempted to buy Harry's four years ago, but withdrew their offer two years later.

Anyway, Shapiro and other like minded morons are now targeting Harry's. It's what bullies do. When Harry's sees increases in sales of their product, they should thank Shapiro and his friends for making it all possible, while Jeremy's goes the way of the Edsel, if you will.

Donald Trump refuses to accept reality. It's time reality----and the public-----rejected him

 Well, I can't say I didn't warn you.

Sunday, the biggest fake-triot in America, Donald John Narcissus Trump, whined about the US National Women's Soccer team being eliminated from the World Cup after losing via penalty kicks to Sweden.

"WAAAAAAHHHHHH!! They're woke! They deserved to lose because of it! WAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Being "woke" has nothing to do with it, jackass. Sweden was the better team. Period. Accept it.

Trump also took issue with former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tweaking him after his arraignment Thursday in Washington, quipping that Trump "looked like a scared puppy". The deranged former president projected that derangement on Pelosi, claiming she belongs in Hell. Social media, of course, had a field day roasting Citizen Pampers.

All it proved is that Trump can't or doesn't know how to take a joke.

Former Vice President Mike Pence has made the rounds, affirming that he didn't have the authority, despite his lunatic boss' claims to the contrary, to prevent the certification of Joe Biden as President in 2021. Pence, rightfully, put the Constitution ahead of the whims of a 70-something sore loser, whose new lawyer, John Lauro, made the TV rounds on Sunday, trying in vain to spin Trump's malicious plans in a positive way. Lauro also got roasted on social media.

"Well, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it!"---Super Chicken, 1967.

I honestly believe that because of his advanced age, Trump needs to be given a full psychiatric examination before he is allowed to run in 2024, if he can at all. As it stands, it does appear as though he can't differentiate between reality and fiction, and hasn't been able to in quite some time. He reacts the way a toddler would when things don't go his way, and for him to try to continue to perpetuate the notion of his being a patriot is an insult.

This, then, is the lasting image of Trump, and if he's got a problem with it, too bad.

Sports this 'n' that

 The NFL Hall of Fame induction ceremony took place Saturday, airing on ESPN & NFL Network, with the former's Chris Berman as MC. Two Jets from different eras went in.

Joe Klecko was part of the NY Sack Exchange in the 80's, alongside Mark Gastineau, Marty Lyons, & Abdul Salaam. Darrelle Revis played the bulk of his career with Gang Green as a prolific defensive back whose end of the defensive formation was referred to as "Revis Island". Revis also played for New England, Tampa Bay, & Kansas City in an 11 year career. Revis was already enshrined in the Jets' Ring of Honor, as has Klecko, I do believe.

For what it's worth, Cleveland, which saw lineman Joe Thomas inducted, beat the Jets on Thursday, 21-16, in the Hall of Fame game.

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So the Chicago White Sox & Cleveland Guardians had a game Saturday afternoon, and an old school brawl broke out between Cleveland's Jose Ramirez and Chicago's Tim Anderson.

Photo courtesy Yahoo!.

It all started when Ramirez slid into 2nd base in a vain attempt to break up a double play, sliding in between the legs of Anderson. Ramirez took exception to an overly aggressive tag, and, well, they were ready to rumble.

Anderson did his best impression of a Chicago Blackhawks enforcer. Both players, along with Guardians manager Terry Francona (ejected for the 2nd straight game), 3rd base coach Mike Sarbaugh, and closer Emmanuel Clase, and White Sox manager Pedro Grifol, were ejected.

For what it's worth, Chicago won the game, 7-4.

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Saturday was a good night for the Paul brothers.

First, Logan had the opening match at Summerslam, and needed a set of brass knux supplied, reportedly, by one of his YouTube pals, to defeat Ricochet. Like, please!! The dude pinned Rey Mysterio clean as a sheet at Wrestlemania, then beat The Miz at Summerslam a few months later, but after losing to Roman Reigns and Seth Rolliins in his last two bouts, Paul, playing the villain, needs a foreign object against Ricochet?!?

Paul had the curtain jerker because he wanted to fly to Dallas to see brother Jake fight Nate Diaz, a bout Jake won via unanimous decision. Given that Summerslam swelled to nearly 5 hours, ending at 12:45 am this morning (ET), he's lucky.

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Also at Summerslam:

Japan's IYO SKY (formerly Io Shirai) cashed in her Money in The Bank briefcase after Bianca Belair had dethroned Asuka. Bayley used the briefcase to KO Auska and Charlotte Flair. IYO then weakened Belair with the case, before landing her signature moonsault to win the title.

I've long advocated banning the use of the briefcase as a predatory weapon, but does WWE listen? Nope.

Just weeks after reuniting, the Usos are fractured again, as Jimmy turned on brother Jey, helping Roman Reigns to another tainted title defense in a no-DQ Tribal Conflict match. It's all about prolonging the Bloodline soap opera for as long as is necessary at this point, as Reigns should've been stripped of the title a while ago because of persistent interference in his matches. That he's become a part-timer at this point, taking matches when he feels like it, a la Brock Lesnar, is a mistake.

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The US Women's National soccer team has been eliminated from the Women's World Cup, as today's match vs. Sweden has gone final. The Swedes won on penalty kicks after a scoreless draw through regulation and overtime.

You can bet a certain bloviator will whine about this.

Musical Interlude: Cry (1985)

 Kevin Godley & Lol Creme, formerly with 10cc, landed a top 20 hit in 1985 with "Cry". The duo have also directed videos, not just for themselves, but for other artists. Creme later joined the Art of Noise, and, a few years later, Godley reunited with another 10cc alum, Graham Gouldman, on a new project.

Think of "Cry" as the unofficial theme of a certain bloviator.

The paranoia of MAGA is showing: They think Jack Smith is calling for the death penalty on Trump, and they still want Mike Pence dead

 If you could ask a Trump supporter to agree to a psychiatric evaluation (highly unlikely, I know), you'd be likely to find there isn't much in the way of functioning brain cells.

We're finding out that Truthless Social, Donald Trump's social media platform, sent out a false truth earlier claiming, without evidence, as usual, that prosecutor Jack Smith is supposedly calling for the death penalty. No, he's not. Not even close, but the paranoia of MAGA-verse has reached this point. Farron Cousins explains.

Given Trump's advanced age-----he just turned 77 in June-----he's not going to see the electric chair any time soon. As he is mentally deteriorating before the whole world, his supporters are doing the same.

At the same time, 2 1/2 years after the Capitol Riot, these poor, deluded souls are still calling for former Vice President Mike Pence to be hung, and, now, it's because he's finally grown a spine and started speaking out against Trump, as the other GOP candidates should going forward. Those that choose to placate the Toddler Who Never Grew Up, however, will not advance beyond the earliest debates. Team MAGA doesn't comprehend that Trump has used them all this time, and continues to as long as he keeps begging for donations, since he's too cheap to spend his own money to pay his legal bills. The grift will never end, as long as there are enough marks to enable it. As Farron warned in a separate video, you have to hope the FBI and Secret Service are aware of the death threats against Pence, and act accordingly.

What needs to happen before another indictment: Trump is forced off social media, forbidden to disclose on Truthless Social if/when the next indictment, this one from Georgia, is coming. Cut him off from communicating with his followers, and the last vestiges of his facade will crumble into dust.

Dunce Cap Award: Republican apologists for a 77 year old toddler

 As expected, former president Donald Trump pled not guilty to the latest charges brought against him by special prosecutor Jack Smith. House Speaker Kevin "The Body Snatcher" McCarthy and other GOP morons are trying to frame this as a Democratic distraction from the GOPers' investigation of President Biden's son, Hunter. Never mind the fact that the younger Biden's former aide, Devon Archer, confirmed that the President had no knowledge of his son's business dealings while Joe Biden was VP under Barack Obama. Arizona's Andy Biggs actually mumbled a confirmation under his breath as he fled the press on Monday.

But, after it was announced that Trump was charged with four new counts, mostly regarding conspiracy to defraud the US and conspiring to prevent a transition of power, McCarthy, 518 traitor Elise Stefanik, Arkansas Misrepresentative Tom "I never picked" Cotton, James Combover, Empty-G, and some of the other usual suspects have whined that Trump is being denied his right to free speech under the 1st Amendment. Wrong again! It is his conduct, not his speech, that got him in trouble, according to Smith at a Tuesday presser. Trump is ginning up his base of imbeciles by continuing to denigrade Smith like a school bully deathly afraid of going to the principal's office.

As it was, when Trump arrived in Washington today for a hearing, there was only a smattering of supporters, including the infamous Dion Cimi, who infamously hung pro-Trump banners at various baseball stadiums 2 years ago.

The GOP has no evidence against Hunter Biden they can make stand up, but, like their false god, they're quick to claim Trump has done nothing wrong. The Three Blind Mice are ashamed to have ever met any of these geeks.

Here's Farron Cousins with his take on things:

We're sending a case of Dunce Caps to Washington. We know who deserves them.

What if dogs could really be interviewed? (1974)

 In 1974, Purina had made some adjustments to their nearly 50 year old Dog Chow (yes, it'll turn 100 before the end of the decade), and in a clever ad, a "Man on The Street" interviewer (George Fenneman, ex-Dragnet, You Bet Your Life) talks to some dogs (not sure about the voice actors, although I suspect some of the usual suspects of the period, like Daws Butler or Dayton Allen or even Mel Blanc or Paul Frees).

When GOPers bring the stupid

 In light of former president Donald Trump being indicted for a 3rd time Tuesday, well, of course, the oldest baby in America lashed out with the same tired rhetoric and lies, because it's all he has. A 77 year old former president with the impulse control of a 2 year old.

Still, while its numbers are dwindling, the Legion of The Brainwashed will still support him, even though they don't really understand why. Because he won't tell you the truth, and you buy into his Joe Isuzu act.

Two rivals, Senator Tim Scott (South Carolina) and former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley, are trying to defend him while also campaigning against Trump. That's self-defeating all by itself.

And, then, there is Senator Innertube, aka former Auburn & Cincinnati football coach Tommy Tuberville.

The freshman Senator from Alabama has blocked 55 Biden administration appointments for lame reasons. In response, the Biden administration reversed a Trump administration ruling that would move the Space Force from its base in Colorado Springs to Huntsville, Alabama. Senator Innertube's grandstanding, obstruction, and posturing has cost his home state potentially millions in revenue and thousands of prospective jobs.

Farron Cousins explains:

Tuberville couldn't win the big one with any consistency at Auburn, which, of course, means beating Alabama in the Iron Bowl every November. So he finished his coaching career in Cincinnati, and wasn't exactly great shakes there. He was elected because of name recognition from his Auburn days, but you couldn't trust him to judge a pig race any more than you could allow him to remain in Washington. He's counting on voters forgetting about this latest debacle, or allowing him to deflect the blame to President Biden, but, as Farron notes, the reality is that Tuberville did this to his own home state because he is bending the knee to an even worse political wackjob.

As they say, you reap what you sow.

Remember Sugarcane 99? (1967)

 Today, Squibb is part of a merged company with Bristol-Myers. In 1967, it was functioning on its own, and introduced an early sugar substitute, Sugarcane 99.

Unfortunately, the product didn't last long, as it was off the market by the end of the decade. Veteran commercial voiceover Ralph Bell is the narrator in this ad, in which the lone recognizable actor is character actor Olan Soule (Dragnet, The Andy Griffith Show):

Sports this 'n' that

 NFL pre-season action starts Thursday with the Hall of Fame game, which this year features the Cleveland Browns and the Jests. The game airs on NBC, starting at 8 pm. When the season ends with the Super Bowl in February, however, it may not be the sloppiest game, but it'll sure look like it if Nickelodeon has anything to say about it.

That's because after the ratings for their kid-friendly alternate broadcasts of Christmas games the last couple of years have brought some big ratings for the cabler, Nick will again partner with CBS for this year's big game. Nate Burleson (CBS Mornings, The NFL Today) made the announcement this morning, and will be in the booth to call the game. Nick will add the CGI effects shown on the field during their broadcast. Trust me, it won't show up on CBS. 

If Nick wants to use any of their beloved cartoon stars as guest analysts, I'd recommend not going back to Patrick Star (Bill Fagerbakke, SpongeBob SquarePants). You need a toon who actually knows the game and can teach the kiddo's. Just sayin'.

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The Mets aren't done dealing. Or are they?

New York shipped outfielder Mark Canha to Milwaukee for a minor league pitcher on Monday, and rumors persist that their primo free agent signing from last winter, Justin Verlander, could be next before the trade deadline tonight at 6 pm (ET). I don't think so. The Mets need Verlander to anchor their rotation for the rest of the season, then try to refill next year. Carlos Carrasco and tonight's starter, Jose Quintana, are not ace material. Quintana has struggled early in both of his starts, strafed in the first two innings of games vs. the Yankees and White Sox. Carrasco got lit up Saturday vs. Washington, and didn't get out of the 3rd inning.

Update, 3:10 pm (ET): Verlander heads back to Houston in exchange for outfielders Ryan Clifford & Drew Gilbert, the latter no relation to ye scribe.

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The US Women's National Soccer Team has reached the field of 16, or, the knockout stage of the Women's World Cup, despite a scoreless draw with Portugal.

Megan Rapinoe comforts a Portugal player.

As we know, there are certain "ugly American" types who won't be happy if the ladies don't win the tournament. I don't have to tell you who fits that description.........!

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Nexstar Media, which owns the CW in addition to WXXA & WTEN here in the 518, is adding to its sports library, starting in 2025. 

The CW will begin carrying the NASCAR Xfinity series then, with most races airing on Saturdays. By then, CW will be filling its Saturdays in with college basketball & football, as ACC coverage begins in September. Come 2025, the races will start while basketball is in its post-season. And let's not forget the LIV golf tour, which started the sports revolution at CW.