Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Memo to Timex Cruz: Stop trying to be something you're not

 Looking to jump on the bandwagon against Disney because the Mouse House has spoken out against Florida dictator Ron DeStupid's anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation, Texas Senator Ted Cruz made a feeble attempt at comedy on a recent talk show appearance.


Cruz's idea of a joke was also meant to be a fear-mongering dog whistle to the GOPer base. He tried to suggest that Disney would soon have Pluto be more than man's best friend, if you get my drift, as it relates to Mickey Mouse.

Twitter, of course, had a field day roasting Cruz as if he was bombing out on The Gong Show 45 years ago. I can picture the late Chuck Barris mockingly consoling Cruz after getting gonged.

"I liked your act, but then again, I'm also into toe jamb."

You'd think Cruz would've learned a hard lesson after attempting Twitter wars with the likes of Jimmy Kimmel, Patton Oswalt, and the GOP's biggest nemesis, Alex From The Block (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez). Bank on Kimmel having something to say about this latest gaffe tonight.

In other words, Ted, don't quit your day job.

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