Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A collection of Weasels & Dunces

Rather than just hand out one set of weasel ears and one dunce cap this week, we've multiples of each. We'll deal with them one case at a time.

Weasel #1: Kim Kardashian. Her divorce from hoopster Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets hasn't been finalized, but that hasn't stopped the publicity-obsessed Kardashian from calling more attention to herself, this time leeching onto rapper Kanye West, no stranger to controversy in his own right. While some media outlets are buying into the belief that West is Kim's latest squeeze, others are claiming it's another publicity stunt. However way you slice it, Kim is better off doing something more worthwhile, like, you know, working for a living!!! All she's doing is extending her 15 minutes that comes mostly from her exaggerated backside, once parodied by Eminem, among others. Sorry, kid, but it's time to get a real job.

Dunce #1: Ozzie Guillen. What was the Miami Marlins' manager thinking when he told a Time Magazine reporter that he had respect and admiration for Cuba's Fidel Castro? Has he already forgotten that his team's new stadium is situated right in the middle of Miami's Little Havana district, and that the citizens there absolutely despise Castro? Apparently. The Marlins benched Guillen for 5 games, as of last night, but the bottom line is, this is just Ozzie being Ozzie. He was a magnet for trouble while managing the Chicago White Sox, leading with his mouth. It doesn't help that the Marlins got off to a 1-3 start after all the hype. It wasn't so long ago that Major League Baseball censured then-Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott for speaking in positive terms about Adolf Hitler. One wonders if MLB suits will add to Guillen's punishment, or if they're satisfied that Marlins owner Jeff Loria, who spent a ton of money to upgrade his roster, policed things himself.

Weasel #2: Bobby Petrino. Petrino was dismissed as football coach at Arkansas on Tuesday, this coming after a motorcycle accident involving a 20-something woman identified as Petrino's mistress who was riding with Petrino. He was cited for lying to his bosses at Arkansas about the incident and trying to cover up his infidelity. This is the same guy who wore out his welcome in the NFL in half a season in Atlanta, perhaps setting a record of a sort. I'll be happy to award a Dunce Cap to the next school administrator that takes a chance on this duplicitous dweeb.

Weasel #3: Milande Wilson. They finally announced the winning ticket holders of the $656 million dollar Mega Millions jackpot, and Ms. Wilson wasn't one of them. Wilson claimed first to have had a winning ticket, then lost it, then had to weather the storm of a lawsuit filed by another woman, which now will be withdrawn for obvious reasons. Ms. Wilson was looking for her 15 minutes, which have quickly evaporated. I feel sorry for her lawyer, who got dragged into this like a Dunce.

Dunce #2: Walter Chambliss. Mr. Chambliss is a track coach at Homestead Sr. High in Miami. He also happens to have a suspended license, and despite it, he was able to rent a car to transport members of the track team to a non-league meet. Problem was, Chambliss was busted for not only the suspended license, but also for speeding. The rental car was towed away, and Chambliss was hauled off to the slammer, leaving the trackmen behind with no way of getting to the meet. You'd think Chambliss would've been aware of his license issue, but he opted to ignore. Coaches are supposed to teach responsibility and accountability, and he was neither responsible nor accountable for his failings, only in his own mind.

Weasel #4: Homestead SHS faculty. Speaking of lacking responsibility, Chambliss' bosses at Homestead left those kids in the lurch, refusing to provide alternate transportation to the meet because it was "not an official event". As in, unsanctioned. Probably a clandestine deal put together by certain sponsors more interested in exploiting the athletes to make a few bucks, but we'll never know that. This cold hearted approach fails because it goes against the whole idea of ensuring the students' safety. Parents are upset, and rightfully so.

What does this tell us? An unsanctioned event involving high school athletes should still be under the school's jurisdiction, regardless. The athlete isn't just there for himself to draw the attention of college scouts, but he is a representative of his school. In that context, the school should still be looking out for his well being, not worrying about bottom lines that they're not entitled to and avoiding responsibility when those kids need them in a time of need.


magicdog said...

Kim Kardashian: Being a big butted, attention whore IS her job! She's laughing all the way to the bank!

Ozzie Guillen: Instead of his 5 game suspension, he should be returned to Venezuela to kiss Hugo Chavez' posterior. Apparently he likes living under dictators.

Bobby Petrino: Deserves everything he gets and I hope his wife takes him for everything he's got. He should have been upfront in the beginning.

Milande Wilson: I think both her lawyer and the media deserve dunce cap awards. Her lawyer had to have known she didn't really have the winning ticket - if I were hired as her attorney, I would have asked to see it before calling a press conference. The media deserves it because she didn't produce the ticket and they didn't check with the lottery officials who already knew who the real winners were. Wilson deserves her weasel ears for lying about winning, and making the owner of the McDonald's franchise she worked at all sorts of grief. S/he probably had to hire security when Wilson claimed she hid the ticket on the premises and may have even closed the restaurant so they could search it. The only good thing to come of this is that now you too can buy your very own "Sweet Swine" hat just like Wilson wore in her press conference. A fast thinking entrepreneur bought the domain name and is producing the hats.

Chambliss is just an idiot and should not have set up the students for a fall. His bosses should have known he couldn't drive and should have made certain alternate arrangements could have been made.

Don't forget to add the following to the list:

The NBC & ABC networks, the NY Times, et al. for purposely lying, and misleading the public with selectively edited audio and video related to the Trayvon Martin debacle. The audio was edited in a way to make Robert Zimmerman seem like a racist. He never brought up the race of the intruder until the 911 operator asked him about it. Zimmerman's version of events appears to be the correct one based on witness statements and videotape showing he was injured in the back of the head (which some networks chose to obscure with graphics) and had a broken nose from a punch Trayvon gave him. Trayvon's recent pix and Twitter account posts (which was deleted but cached) were never shown either. Rather we got a 4 year old doctored photo of him when he was a 13 year old boy, not the 6'3 175 lb man he really was. The majority of the mainstream media pandered to the likes of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and needlessly stirred up racial tensions. A man's life has been sacrificed on the altar of political correctness and he was tried in the court of public opinion.

Spike Lee: he still deserves a weasel award for tweeting the address of a family thought to be related to Zimmerman and forcing them to go into hiding. Even if he had tweeted the right address, it still would have been wrong. I can only hope the wronged family got one whopping settlement out of him.

hobbyfan said...

Spike already apologized for his foolishness, and that issue was previously addressed.

George Zimmerman now has been charged with 2nd degree murder. To paraphrase Grandpa Jones on "Hee Haw", back in the day, beats me why they waited so long.