Rather than just hand out one set of weasel ears and one dunce cap this week, we've multiples of each. We'll deal with them one case at a time.
Weasel #1: Kim Kardashian. Her divorce from hoopster Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets hasn't been finalized, but that hasn't stopped the publicity-obsessed Kardashian from calling more attention to herself, this time leeching onto rapper Kanye West, no stranger to controversy in his own right. While some media outlets are buying into the belief that West is Kim's latest squeeze, others are claiming it's another publicity stunt. However way you slice it, Kim is better off doing something more worthwhile, like, you know, working for a living!!! All she's doing is extending her 15 minutes that comes mostly from her exaggerated backside, once parodied by Eminem, among others. Sorry, kid, but it's time to get a real job.
Dunce #1: Ozzie Guillen. What was the Miami Marlins' manager thinking when he told a Time Magazine reporter that he had respect and admiration for Cuba's Fidel Castro? Has he already forgotten that his team's new stadium is situated right in the middle of Miami's Little Havana district, and that the citizens there absolutely despise Castro? Apparently. The Marlins benched Guillen for 5 games, as of last night, but the bottom line is, this is just Ozzie being Ozzie. He was a magnet for trouble while managing the Chicago White Sox, leading with his mouth. It doesn't help that the Marlins got off to a 1-3 start after all the hype. It wasn't so long ago that Major League Baseball censured then-Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott for speaking in positive terms about Adolf Hitler. One wonders if MLB suits will add to Guillen's punishment, or if they're satisfied that Marlins owner Jeff Loria, who spent a ton of money to upgrade his roster, policed things himself.
Weasel #2: Bobby Petrino. Petrino was dismissed as football coach at Arkansas on Tuesday, this coming after a motorcycle accident involving a 20-something woman identified as Petrino's mistress who was riding with Petrino. He was cited for lying to his bosses at Arkansas about the incident and trying to cover up his infidelity. This is the same guy who wore out his welcome in the NFL in half a season in Atlanta, perhaps setting a record of a sort. I'll be happy to award a Dunce Cap to the next school administrator that takes a chance on this duplicitous dweeb.
Weasel #3: Milande Wilson. They finally announced the winning ticket holders of the $656 million dollar Mega Millions jackpot, and Ms. Wilson wasn't one of them. Wilson claimed first to have had a winning ticket, then lost it, then had to weather the storm of a lawsuit filed by another woman, which now will be withdrawn for obvious reasons. Ms. Wilson was looking for her 15 minutes, which have quickly evaporated. I feel sorry for her lawyer, who got dragged into this like a Dunce.
Dunce #2: Walter Chambliss. Mr. Chambliss is a track coach at Homestead Sr. High in Miami. He also happens to have a suspended license, and despite it, he was able to rent a car to transport members of the track team to a non-league meet. Problem was, Chambliss was busted for not only the suspended license, but also for speeding. The rental car was towed away, and Chambliss was hauled off to the slammer, leaving the trackmen behind with no way of getting to the meet. You'd think Chambliss would've been aware of his license issue, but he opted to ignore. Coaches are supposed to teach responsibility and accountability, and he was neither responsible nor accountable for his failings, only in his own mind.
Weasel #4: Homestead SHS faculty. Speaking of lacking responsibility, Chambliss' bosses at Homestead left those kids in the lurch, refusing to provide alternate transportation to the meet because it was "not an official event". As in, unsanctioned. Probably a clandestine deal put together by certain sponsors more interested in exploiting the athletes to make a few bucks, but we'll never know that. This cold hearted approach fails because it goes against the whole idea of ensuring the students' safety. Parents are upset, and rightfully so.
What does this tell us? An unsanctioned event involving high school athletes should still be under the school's jurisdiction, regardless. The athlete isn't just there for himself to draw the attention of college scouts, but he is a representative of his school. In that context, the school should still be looking out for his well being, not worrying about bottom lines that they're not entitled to and avoiding responsibility when those kids need them in a time of need.