Dumb Donald keeps poking the bear

 The bear, in this case, would be Iran.

Yes, there is an unpleasant history between the US & Iran, mostly illustrated by the hostage crisis between 1979-81. But, on a day when he should've actually done the smart thing, and gone to church like millions of others, Donald John Judas Trump opted for a sllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooow motorcade through Washington. Sometime Sunday morning, he issued a fresh threat to the Iranian government to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, claiming he'll have power plants & bridges in Iran bombed tomorrow.

In a potty mouthed post on Truthless Social, Trump made this threat, mocking the Iranians by stating, "Praise be to Allah". 

"Open the strait, or I unleash hell!"

That he made this latest threat on Easter, of all days, reminds us again that he is not, and never has been, a Christian, having conned everyone, including the late James Dobson, into believing he'd give his life to Christ. Trump is trying to bully the Iranian government into giving him what he wants. The worst case scenario there is another hostage crisis, more than 45 years later.

Trump is grossly unpopular with most of the country here because a lot of Americans have grown tired of his act. When he talks to news outlets like Fox No News or NBC, you can't really tell if he's telling the truth (he usually isn't). He just gives interviews so he can be on TV and get a headline or three. At the end of the day, it's all about him. It always is. The more he plays up his faux tough guy act, the worse it's going to be for everyone.

Musical Interlude: Johnny B. Goode (1977)

 From season 5 of Happy Days:

Suzi Quatro debuts as Leather Tuscadero, whose sister, Pinky (Roz Kelly), had been written off after her debut a year earlier. A reformed thief turned musician, Leather makes the scene with a cover of Chuck Berry's legendary "Johnny B. Goode", aided by Richie & Potsie (Ron Howard & Anson Williams) on guitar, and Ralph (Donny Most) on the piano. Don't think the guys were actually playing, though, but, rather, miming.

Of course, it's a truncated version on air.

Richie's sister, Joanie (Erin Moran), would join Leather's group, though we don't see her in the above clip.

Erika Kirk gets mocked, threatens to sue. She's wasting her time

 Most of us know Druski from the T-Mobile commercials with Zoe Saldana. Today, more people are finding out about him after a skit he performed went viral, and roused the anger of Erika Kirk, nearly 7 months after the murder of her husband, Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk.

Druski, to his credit, checked all the legal boxes before he went ahead and had himself made up as a lookalike for the widow Kirk, though he never mentioned her by name in the skit. In truth, the skit was all about conservative women in general.

Encouraged by fellow right wing dimbulbs, Kirk has threatened to sue, but she has no case. It is the knee-jerk reaction of right wingers to threaten litigation when offended.

Check out this side-by-side comparison between Kirk (on the right) and Druski (on the left):

When the joke is on them, conservatives can't deal with it, which is why you have president Trump and others railing against late night talkers like Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, & Stephen Colbert. No, they'll laugh along with gasbags like Greg Gutfeld & Jesse Watters on Fox No News, or morons like Tony Hinchcliffe. They forget that the late Ronald Reagan, despite his flaws on policy, was beloved because he could not only take a joke, but dish it out with the best of them. The Bushes shared the stage with their mimics, Dana Carvey & Will Ferrell. While we don't know what Trump thinks of James Austin Johnson (Saturday Night Live), he couldn't stand Alec Baldwin's mockery of him.

Druski will be just fine. Erika Kirk drank too much conservative kool-aid to appreciate the humor.

Another domino falls: Pam Bondi dumped as Attorney General

 Frustrated by the inability of the Department of Injustice to prosecute political enemies despite 0 evidence of any crimes, president Trump fired Attorney General Pam Bondi earlier today.

Reports have Bondi moving into a private sector job after she helps her deputy, Todd "Bleached" Blanche, move into her office, and that she'd already returned home to Florida.

However, there are also reports that have EPA director Lee Zeldin being considered for the AG's job. Unfortunately, Zeldin already has one strike against him, since Trump doesn't like failure of any kind. You'll recall that Zeldin was beaten like a rented goalie nearly 3 1/2 years ago for NY Governor. His work at the EPA has been under the radar while drones like Bondi and former Homeland Insecurity secretary Kristi Gnoem were getting unfavorable headlines.

Blanche has been a personal attorney for Trump before being named to the DOI. As such, Trump wants to wait & see if Blanche can give him what he wants before taking the interim label off. Commentators such as Brian Tyler Cohen are sounding the alarm that House Oversight Committee Chairman Gomer Comer will cancel the deposition for Bondi, scheduled for April 14, to protect the Orange Onion. Democrats on the committee, of course, will force Comer to allow the deposition to take place. That's how scared Republicans are of letting the truth slip free on anything.

The return of South Park can't come fast enough for these clowns.

Already, there are online polls to ask who'd be next to go. Unfortunately, Comer's not on the list, since he'd have to lose his seat via election, but FBI director "Counterfeit" Kash Patel seems to be the frontrunner to be the next scapegoat. We'll probably hear something right around this time next month. 

Stay tuned.

Oh, the blasphemy: A prosperity gospel preacher compares Trump to Jesus

 Donald Trump is not a Christian. Never has been. He pretends to be one to do what he does best, grift his supporters dry.

The last two days have provided us with irrefutable proof, unless you're a MAGA supporter, willfully ignorant of the truth, of this.

On Tuesday, it was reported that Trump is building a "library" in Miami that looks more like a shrine to his overinflated ego, complete with a golden statue in his likeness.

Exodus 32, anyone?

Do the 10 Commandments ring any bells?

The literacy-challenged Trump won't set foot in a church unless he needs to, but he's got enough Christian pastors, mostly the prosperity gospel variety, committing blasphemy by supporting this fraud.

On Wednesday, televangelist Paula White-Cain, wife of Journey keyboard player Jonathan Cain, and an advisor to Trump since 2002, compared Orange Judas to Jesus Himself.

If that golden eagle statue doesn't give away Trump's true motives, what does?

Mrs. Cain drew parallels between the legal issues Trump faced in between terms, a pair of assassination attempts in the last couple of years, and the trials Jesus faced in the New Testament.

Yeah, sure, tell another tall tale.

If anything, Trump is the diametric opposite of Jesus. Selfish instead of selfless. He continues to con the evangelicals and the prosperity gospel types, right along with the rest of the marks, and this is even after he's been on the record stating he's not even sure he's actually going to Heaven.

Spoiler alert: unless he actually has an epiphany that prompts him to publicly accept Jesus as his Savior, his afterlife is trending in the opposite direction. This latest dog & pony show is a distraction from everything else.

News flash: God doesn't like being mocked. Trump will discover the reality of that in due course.

Trading places: Joan Rivers hosts Hollywood Squares (1988)

 From season 2 of The New Hollywood Squares:

During the course of this iteration's three year run (1986-9), producer Rick Rosner was looking for a theme for April Fool's Day.

Well, I've spoiled it already. Joan Rivers swaps places with John Davidson for the day, although it seems Shadoe Stevens didn't get the memo.......!

Nearly 40 years later, Shadoe is heard at the end of this video, as he's now the announcer for the Game Show Vault channel.

During the course of the run, Shadoe and Jm J. Bullock each took turns filling in for Davidson, although, in those cases, Davidson was on vacation. Howard Stern filled Shadoe's cubicle the week Stevens filled in.

No joke: Four judges rule against president Trump on four different cases

 While today is April Fool's Day, president Donald John Pinocchio Trump thinks every day is April Fool's Day, since he deceives his base so, so much.

That being said, it shouldn't surprise anyone that the oldest baby in America is whining that he can't build his precious ballroom at the White House after a judge told him he had overstepped his bounds.

Judge Richard Leon, a George W. Bush appointee, ruled Tuesday that Trump had overstepped his authority by destroying the East Wing of the White House last year, just so he could have a ballroom, even though, if memory serves, the East Wing had a ballroom in it, in the first place.

Trump's argument, baseless as usual, is that he doesn't need Congressional approval for any of his vanity projects.

"WAAAHHHHH! I can do whatever I want! WAAAHHHHH!"

No, you can't. He has raised millions of dollars from donors willing to flatter the Orange Ego to get on his good side. He's a professional grifter, you idiots. Judge Leon sided with the National Trust for Historic Preservation.

Now, you know that Trump doesn't like being told, "no", on anything. The White House is not his personal property, unlike the land he owns in New York, Palm Beach, etc.. He had no right to destroy the East Wing, just to satisfy a fever dream of his. He wants Mar-a-Lago North, but watch. Once he's out of office, the ballroom, if it's completed at all, will either be torn down, or reconfigured into the new East Wing, and put to better use.

Judge Timothy Kelly declined a bid from Team Pampers to dismiss a suit which claims resident quack Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and the Department of Health & Human Services broke the law by declining Freedom of Information Act requests.

"WAAAAH! What we do is on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know until we tell you. WAAHHH!"

The cuts to DHHS happened a year ago, challenged by CREW (Citizens for Responsibility & Ethics in Washington). The suit is going forward, meaning more whining from Trump is coming.

Judge Randolph Moss said that Trump could not terminate funding for PBS & National Public Radio, stating that it violates the 1st Amendment. The executive order, signed in May is unconstitutional, and has been permanently blocked. Fans of PBS & NPR are rejoicing.

Finally, Judge Amit Mehta is allowing a suit connected to the 1/6/21 riots to move forward. You'll recall that Trump tried to claim presidential immunity, but, as a beaten incumbent candidate, he has no immunity.

"WAAAHHH! I was screwed! WAAAAH!"

No, you weren't, you pathetic sore loser. Your mishandling of COVID cost you the election. Five years later, we have to tell you again to get over it, but you won't listen. If you'd won, you wouldn't be in Washington right now.

With the onset of old age comes the knowledge that Trump just refuses to read anything. Blame it on his ego, and how he was raised, knowing it will lead to his final downfall.