On The Shelf: Sgt. Rock returns

 There was a time, a number of years ago, when DC was considering the prospect of adapting Sgt. Rock for the big screen, with Arnold Schwarzenegger attached in the title role. It was never made, as fans couldn't get past the image of the Austrian-born film icon as the all-American Rock.

The latest entry from DC's new horror line brings Rock & Easy Company back to World War II to fight off not just ordinary Nazis, but ones raised from the dead in a desperate attempt by Hitler to win the war.

Sgt. Rock vs. The Army of The Dead, written by actor and comics fan Bruce Campbell in his DC debut, with artwork by Eduardo Risso, in the style, after a fashion, of Mike Mignola, is a totally weird thrill ride. In this short trailer, Campbell lays it out.

Campbell envisions himself as Rock, perhaps thinking a movie can be made adapting this story. Risso feeds into this by drawing Rock in Campbell's image. Campbell has written comics based on the "Evil Dead" and "Army of Darkness" movies for other publishers, so this is right in his wheelhouse. After this, I'd like to see him tackle one of DC's heavy hitters, with a different artist compatible with the subject matter.

Rating: A-.

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Riley Rossmo has drawn Harley Quinn and the Damian Wayne iteration of Robin. Now, he moves on to Tim Drake: Robin. It's not a good match.

Tim not only has his current life partner, Bernard, but a prospective superhero sidekick in Darcy, who is privy to his dual ID, while Bernard is not. A nice problem to have. I collected Tim's 1st solo ongoing in the 90's, which had some great artwork. Rossmo doesn't fit, as his work is more suited for the satirical antics of Harley.

Rating: C.

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Batman: The Audio Adventures was a 1-shot promoting the HBO Max podcast last year. The numbers were strong enough to bring it back as a 7 issue miniseries. With a continuing story this time, readers will have a chance to be more invested in the title, and maybe check out the podcast.

The first issue teases the debut of Harley in this continuity----because marketing wants it-----and sets up one crazy mystery that's more in tune with the 90's than the Golden Age. A nexus of Bat-realities, if ya will. I'm in.

Rating: B.

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I'm convinced now that DC Vs. Vampires writers James Tynion IV & Matt Rosenberg are not fans of the Wonder Twins.

Zan was killed off within the 1st issue or two. Now, in issue 9, after inheriting her brother's water-based powers, Jayna's quest for revenge ends, thanks to a vampiric Aquaman. I AM SO NOT DIGGING!!

As has been the case throughout, artist Otto Schmidt was the wrong choice to draw this book right from the jump. Put in the hands of a better creative team, the smart move is to leave the twins out of it, else you're going to be accused, as I'm sure Rosenberg is now, of playing to the internet haters that remain. To me, this virtue-signals that with Brian Bendis no longer exclusive to DC, any future projects that involve the twins will be a return to pre-2019 disrespect. DC isn't helping matters with this book by allowing for a 3 month hiatus, creating some 1-shots and spin-off miniseries, to give the ineffectual Schmidt time to finish the book.

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We talked before about Archie Comics' short-comings in discussing Sabrina's 60th anniversary special last time. Those short-comings crop up again in Chilling Adventures Presents Weirder Mysteries. Drawing upon past books in the Archie Horror line, Frank Tieri has Betty chasing aliens. Alexandra Cabot (Josie & The Pussycats) gets a short story spotlight with a predictable twist ending. None of these stories get past 10 pages, and that's wrong.

Rating: C-.

Sports this 'n' that

 The eyes of the baseball world will be fixated on two places this weekend. 

In the Atlanta suburb of Marietta, the Braves will try to claim 1st place in the National League East all to themselves against the Mets, who have won 9 of 16 from the defending champions. Max Fried will face off with Chris Bassitt tonight, while the Mets' twin aces, Max Scherzer & Jacob deGrom, have the weekend games. Mets partisans will say they'll be happy to take 2 of 3, but a sweep would wrap up the division, snapping the Braves' string of four straight division titles.

Think back to 2006. Atlanta's string of 14 straight division titles was broken by----wait for it----the Mets, who took the eventual World Champion St. Louis Cardinals to six games before falling in the NLCS.

Mets GM Billy Eppler is bringing in prized catching prospect Francisco Alvarez for his first taste of the majors this weekend, and give veterans Tomas Nido & James McCann a break. Alvarez may be an x-factor the Braves won't be ready for.

In the Bronx, the AL East champion Yankees open a series with Baltimore, but the main attraction is whether or not Aaron Judge can climb that last step and break Roger Maris' team & AL record of 61 homers, set in 1961. Judge tied the mark Wednesday at Toronto. The Orioles, though, are not the same patsies the Yankees are used to seeing, as they were contenders until about a month ago.

Roger Maris, Jr. has gone on record stating that Judge, in his eyes, would be the rightful single season homer champ if he does get to 62+ with six games remaining. He ain't alone in that argument.

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They say when you play with fire, you're bound to get burned.

Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross played with fire, if you will, particularly with QB Tua Tagovailoa, twice in the space of five days.

On Sunday, in a win over Buffalo, Tua was briefly knocked from the game, and the team claimed a back issue, but it was clear from what viewers saw that it was more than that, and that Tua should've been held out for the rest of the game. Instead, he was sent back out by coach Mike McDaniel, a 1st year coach, and Miami claimed 1st place in the AFC East all by themselves.

Fast forward four nights later at Cincinnati. Tagovailoa is knocked from the game again, this time carted off the field on a stretcher after sustaining neck & back injuries vs. the defending AFC champs.

Photo courtesy Yahoo!/Amazon Prime/ NFL.

Journeyman backup Teddy Bridgewater finished the game, a 27-15 Bengals win. NFL Players Association head DeMaurice Smith has initiated an investigation into what happened on Sunday, feeling that certain of Dolphin management failed Tagovailoa by letting him finish the Buffalo game.

At the end of the day, far as Ross and other owners are concerned, it's more about the dolla-dolla bill, y'all, than player safety. Miami's next game is October 9, but don't count on Tua being back by then.

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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers announced that yes, their Sunday home game vs. Kansas City will go on as planned, as Hurricane Ian will be in South Carolina by then. Postponing the game wouldn't really hurt NBC/Peacock all that much, but South Carolina moved up a tomato can game set for tomorrow to last night as a precaution, something that might've been considered by Tampa Bay management until the storm hit.

It'll be interesting to see the ratings on Sunday, though, as Mets-Braves gets a nearly 90 minute headstart on ESPN.

When icons meet: Forrest Tucker on Marcus Welby, MD (1974)

This one's for Hal Horn at The Horn Section:

From season 6 of Marcus Welby, MD:

Forrest Tucker (ex-Dusty's Trail, F-Troop) plays a police officer tasked to rush his pregnant daughter to the hospital, but an accident exacerbates the situation, and so does the revelation that the caring father also is dealing with issues of his own.

Commenters on YouTube believe "The Brittle Warrior" ranks among Tucker's best work.

Edit, 8/28/23: The video was deleted. In its place is a screen shot with Tucker and Patty McCormack:

No rating.

Musical Interlude: It's All The Way Live (Now)(1996)

 After his introduction to the charts with a rap remake of Lakeside's "Fantastic Voyage" in 1994, Coolio reached into Lakeside's catalogue again, this time for "It's All The Way Live (Now)", featured on the soundtrack to 1996's "Eddie", starring Whoopi Goldberg, Dennis Farina, & Frank Langella, plus a host of NBA stars, including Larry Johnson, Muggsy Bogues, and Dennis Rodman.

In memory of Coolio, 59, who has passed away, reportedly from a possible heart attack.

Donald Trump finally hired a lawyer who knows what he's doing. So the lawyer gets sent to the sidelines..........

"Dumb Donald is really dumb!"---Gene Rayburn, many times on Match Game between 1973-84.

Last month, Donald Trump finally found a lawyer that actually has a clue. He paid former Florida Solicitor General Christopher Kise a $3 million dollar advance to represent him. Unfortunately, Kise's advice goes right over the head of the delusional, paranoid, perhaps dementia-ridden former president, so, as Farron Cousins explains, Kise has been sidelined while three less experienced "lawyers" (there's a reason for the quotes) take point.

The word Farron couldn't think of is telegenic. The fact that his three lady lawyers, Lindsay Halligan, Christina Bobbs-her-hair (ex-One America News), and Alina Habba-Dabba-Doo, are telegenic appeals to the child within the man himself. By putting Kise on the sidelines, saving him for another, potentially less important case, Trump is further sinking his own ship.

And remember, he claimed he was a stable genius. Unfortunately, he was also exposed as a vain, pathetic loser in a cookie commercial with the Manning brothers, Peyton & Eli, 13 years ago.

Melania might want to see if Dr. Vinnie Boom Batz is available........

Sports this 'n' that

 After a lackluster start, Arizona State dumped football coach Herman Edwards about a week and a half ago, and now, there are rumors that opposing teams were tipped to Edwards' game plans----by his own staff!

Yahoo! is reporting that school officials, if not also Edwards' assistants, were looking to get rid of Edwards, a star linebacker with Philadelphia back in the day (remember Joe Pisarcik's fumble at the Meadowlands?) before coaching the Jests. The reporting implies the race card was a factor. If Edwards doesn't land another coaching job in college or the pros, broadcasting seems like the only remaining option.

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There is much wrangling over this weekend's Braves-Mets series at Truist Park, outside of Atlanta, due to Hurricane Ian, due to hit Florida tomorrow, and everyone assumes it'll make its way to Georgia soon after. One game separates the Mets from the 2nd place Braves in the NL East, and people are suggesting a neutral site, one that neither team has played this year, rather than move the series to Citi Field, although there is precedent for the Braves to assume the role of home team if they do that. With the playoffs more than a week away, MLB needs to make a decision, and quickly.

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The Giants were hoping to remain unbeaten after last night's game with Dallas, but it was not to be.

Instead, Big Blue is tied for 2nd with the Cowboys, a game behind unbeaten Philadelphia. Shame on you if you slept on Dallas QB Cooper Rush, who is filling in for Dak Prescott.

Under the bright lights of Monday Night Football, Rush brought the Cowboys back after the Giants had taken a 3rd quarter lead. So much for the talk of trading for a veteran starter until Prescott comes back. Until the next Cowboys loss, and, then, the whining starts again.

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Lost amidst everything else in the 1st 3 weeks of the season is the fact that Miami sits atop the AFC East at 3-0. There will be a pool on when people start invoking comparisons to the 1972 team, the only team to go a full season undefeated. Granted, there are three more regular season games than there were 50 years ago, but you can bet the surviving members of the 1972 team are rooting for today's Dolphins.

Dunce Cap Award: Richard Barnett and his attorneys

 Richard Barnett is the screwball who got into House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's office on 1/6/21, propped his feet on her desk for a photo op, and got busted for his participation in the incident.

Since that time, Barnett's trial has been pushed back a few times, most recently to December 12, the reason being that Barnett recently was being treated for COVID-10. However, his dimwitted lawyers filed a motion to bar certain words or phrases----you can guess which ones-----from being used at the trial as a means of trying to get their client off.

As Farron Cousins explains, that infamous photo of Barnett at Pelosi's desk may be all that's needed to sink him.

If these clown attorneys are trying for sympathy points, it ain't happening. Barnett's goose is as good as cooked, and his lawyers' grandstanding gets them and Barnett Dunce Caps.

Karma has already beaten Donald Trump

 During the 2020 presidential campaign, Donald Trump routinely, repeatedly denigraded Joe Biden, claiming that Biden, 3 years his senior, was in cognitive decline. Trump was trying the Don Rickles approach of insulting his opponent at every turn, because his low information base would at least get the gist of it.

Two years later, Trump's former attorney, Michael Cohen, gave an interview to CNN in which he believes Trump himself is suffering from-----wait for it----cognitive decline. How else to explain his increasingly unhinged statements of late? Regular readers of this blog know I've speculated on this for some time now, and it's good to know that it's finally catching on with Trump's former aides and the media.

Farron Cousins breaks it down:

I've said all along that Trump was better suited to be sent to Bellevue instead of even a country club prison. Let's just skip to the ending, and the white coats finally coming for the oldest baby in America.

On The Air: Eli's Places (2021)

 We have to wonder if the Manning family bought stock in the Walt Disney Company.

In the last three years alone, the two Super Bowl winning quarterbacks, Peyton & Eli, have been constant presences on ESPN programming. First, it was Peyton, the Gomer Pyle of the NFL, who landed a docuseries, Peyton's Places, on ESPN+, repurposing on Hulu. Last year, after retiring from the Giants, Eli teamed with Peyton for alternate broadcasts of Monday Night Football, billed as the Manning-cast, which proved to be a ratings draw.

In addition, Eli landed his own series, Eli's Places, now in its 2nd season on ESPN+ & Hulu. You're also aware of the Caesar's Sportsbook ads with papa Archie, plus J. B. Smoove and Halle Berry, of course.

Because the latest episode of Eli's Places got major media attention because of its content, ESPN decided to include most, but not all, of the episode, today on College GameDay. Borrowing from CBS' Undercover Boss, Eli poses as a walk-on at Penn State after a preliminary meeting with coach James Franklin. This also invokes the late George Plimpton's undercover stunt in Detroit, adapted into "Paper Lion".

Yes, Peyton & Eli are executive producers, adding to Peyton's portfolio (Capital One College Bowl, The Final Straw). Just don't let them try to do a variety show.

Rating: B--.

Sports this 'n' that

 With Yankees slugger Aaron Judge on the cusp of team and American League history, Apple TV+ had exclusive rights to last night's Yankees-Red Sox game at the Stadium. Yankee fans, however, were not having it prior to game time.

The Yes Network, now co-owned by the team with Amazon & Sinclair Broadcasting, was hoping to take the game in exchange for a future broadcast on Apple, but the tech giant refused to budge. Coupled with the team moving broadcast TV games that used to air on WPIX (locally WCWN) to Amazon Prime, it was a case of the team diving into 21st century technology, but at a critical juncture of the season, with Judge pursuing the team home run record for a single season, held by Roger Maris, this was something that Yankee fans across the country wanted on their TV's, not their computers.

Apple still said no.

Judge didn't hit #61 last night, as the Yanks made it two in a row over Boston, 5-4, so the chase for 61 continues today on Yes, with ESPN carrying Sunday's game.

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Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, St. Louis slugger Albert Pujols returned to Los Angeles, where he started the season with the Dodgers, and hit career homers 699 & 700, leading the Cardinals past the Dodgers. Mets announcer Wayne Randazzo was assigned the game, given the night off from his regular gig, and he treated both of Pujols' blasts the same as he would any homer by a Mets player.

Between Pujols and Judge, it seems baseball fans would rather forget that Barry Bonds holds the career and singe season homer records, due to his alleged PED use.

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Tennis icon Roger Federer ended his career in a loss in doubles play at the Laver Cup Friday, playing alongside friend and rival Rafael Nadal. However, some idiot ran on the court and set his arm on fire in protest over something unrelated to the match. The moron was quickly escorted off the court, likely first to a hospital, then jail.

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Rapper Action Bronson composed the theme for AEW star Hook, the son of former ECW champion Taz. Bronson made his wrestling debut Friday on Rampage, teaming with his friend to beat 2.0 (Angelo Parker & Matt Menard) in a tag team match. Bronson's a fan, having learned moves from watching TV before training with Taz & Hook.

Newly crowned Ring of Honor champ Chris Jericho was on commentary with Taz, Excalibur, & Jim Ross, and ended up having to eat crow, seeing his Jericho Appreciation Society teammates lose. Jericho is delaying the start of Fozzy's current concert tour, which is supposed to hit Albany in 2 weeks, claiming a throat injury, but it's more of a case of Jericho putting the tour aside to help AEW, which is still dealing with an injury plague, and bolster ratings.

Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing Taz or Hook tap Jericho out.....!

You can't declassify documents via telepathy. Guess who said you could?

 Donald Trump keeps digging deeper into the rabbit hole.

The former president went on Spam Hannity's Fox Shmooze show Wednesday, and tried to claim that he, or any other president, could declassify documents, just by thinking about it. Yeah, right, and pigs will fly.

"WAAAAH! Those documents are mine! I can do what I want with them! WAAAAAH!"

Unfortunately for Citizen Pampers, he made a public case for being shipped off to Bellevue. This after an appeals court reversed Florida judge and Trump sycophant Aileen Cannon's ruling barring the Department of Justice from continuing their criminal investigation into the documents retrieved from Mar-a-Lame-O last month. The appeals court also ruled that there was no evidence (of course) that any documents were declassified, further proof that the worst president of all time didn't have clue one about executing his duties in office, treating it like another business holding.

Earlier Wednesday, NY Attorney General Letitia James filed suit against Trump, Dumb Donald II, Stupid-E, Trust Fund Barbie (Ivanka), and two Trump Organization executives on fraud charges in a civil suit. Trump, predictably, called it a witch hunt. Junior called BS, but the real BS is the Trumps thinking they are above the law after all this time.

"WAAAAHHHH! It's a witch hunt, I tell you! WAAAAHHH!"

And we got this, unsolicited.

"Every time someone says it's a witch hunt, it's bad for our business, and everyone else's. Mr. Trump needs to wake up to reality."

Stick a fork in the Trump Organization. It's done.

Citizen Pampers won't play show & tell with the special master he personally selected. That'll cost him

 Ok, here's the situation. Citizen Pecos Pampers (Donald Trump) and the Department of Justice (DOJ) agreed to a special master to review classified documents retrieved last month from Mar-a-Lame-O to see if Pampers actually did de-classify some documents or if others are protected by any sort of privilege (i.e. lawyer-client privilege). However, Pampers and his law firm of Eeeny, Meeny, Miney, & Moe are playing hardball, refusing to share anything with the special master, Raymond Dearie, a jurist who was appointed by the late Ronald Reagan some 40 years ago. As Farron Cousins explains, these legal beagles think that because it works on TV (i.e. Law & Order, Perry Mason), it's ok to withhold that information until the inevitable trial. It isn't.

Hollywood historically has taken liberties with the legal system. Anyone that watches, say, The Flash or Law & Order: Special Victims Unit knows that. These lawyers are getting their marching orders from a delusional 70-something client who probably doesn't care about the actual rules of litigation. Their loss.

DeStupid gets sued by attorneys for the migrants. Get used to it

 First, it was a sheriff in Texas who opened a criminal investigation into the transport of immigrants from Texas to Florida to Martha's Vineyard last week by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

Today, an attorney representing those same migrants has filed suit against DeSantis and his transportation secretary Jared Perdue.

Photo courtesy Yahoo!.

DeSantis should've expected this, and he'll whine and try to weasel his way out of it, but there should be no way he can. Being the governor of a Republican controlled state does not protect him from being prosecuted.

Elsewhere, word is out that a certain bloviator returned to Florida and whined about the FBI executing a search warrant, and, get this, wearing shoes in his bedroom. Like, they're doing their job. The bloviator is also whining that DeSantis' stunt was his in the first place. Gee, what a surprise, eh, Dr. Frankenstein?

Nothing would please the majority of America more than to see DeSantis taken down, his presidential aspirations evaporating because of his over-reaching. And he deserves it.

The shipping of migrants from Florida & Texas continues, but it needs to stop, unless the governors are willing to go to jail

 I heard this morning that more undocumented migrants had been bused to New York. This after NYC Mayor Eric Adams appeared on ABC's This Week on Sunday to address the issue.

But, where were the GOPer scum who started his mess? Texas Governor Greg "Shakedown" Abbott and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis? The two were invited to offer their side of the issue, but declined like the cowards they are. They insist on this farce to "make a point", to "own the Libs", but it's backfiring, badly, and these two, along with Arizona Governor Doug "Acey" Ducey, just don't care. We're talking about innocent human beings used as political pawns so the GOP's Morally Blind Mice can look good to their brainwashed base.

But, there are calls for DeSantis, and maybe Abbott, too, to be arrested and charged with kidnapping. Farron Cousins explains.

We talked before about these GOPers shirking responsibility to "make a point". If it should happen that they do get busted, that torpedoes DeStupid's chances of running for President in 2024. Same with Ducey and Abbott. Human trafficking and exploitation for political gain is just flat out wrong, and it needs to be stopped. Yesterday.

Musical Interlude: Fletch, Get Outta Town! (1985)

 Dan Hartman's follow-up to his "Streets of Fire" hits was "Get Outta Town" (alternately known as "Fletch, Get Outta Town") from the soundtrack to Chevy Chase's 1st "Fletch" movie. Shot in London, Hartman plays a fortune teller trying to convince reporter Irwin Fletcher (Chase) to "get outta town".

We bring this up because "Fletch" is set to return, this time with Jon Hamm (ex-Mad Men) as Fletch. Due either this winter or sometime in 2023.

Local radio in the rerun zone with seemingly no escape

 In recent months, WROW's Sunday programming block has been slashed. Once the syndicated Sounds of Sinatra signs off around noon (ET), the station goes on auto-play with no DJ's until 7 pm and the syndicated Doo Wop Shop. The station dropped reruns of Dick Clark's Rock, Roll, & Remember 2 years ago, and not long after, pink-slipped weekend host Richie Norris. It is what it is.

However, what has happened in the Sunday equivalent of morning drive has been disturbing, to say the least.

We wrote before about how WYJB weekend host Joe Condon had disappeared from "Magic 590", leaving Albany Street in its present bind. WYJB afternoon host Jon Reilly had been tapped to succeed Condon, but his lone episode has been replayed every week but one, that week being a replay of a 2019 interview Condon conducted with Father Peter Young, in the latter's final appearance before his passing.

The reruns suggest that Reilly didn't fare too well in the ears & eyes of station management, and, while they're waiting to find a full-time host, haven't figured out that they need to start a Best of Albany Street. Preferably next week. Seems to me, though, that they're not getting enough ratings, and not enough attention, else they'd have done one of those two things already.

News, Views, & Interviews, with Aaron Mair now flying solo, has also suffered from rerunitis. Mair has always sounded a little nervous in the studio, even with Condon as moderator, more so now that he is going solo. Albany Broadcasting would do well to find a new moderator to help Mair out.

With the passing of Ramsey Lewis last week, the syndicated Legends of Jazz, a 2 hour show stretched to three thanks to extra commercials, ran an episode this morning that was either Lewis' last new episode or a rerun, I don't know for sure. We'll know what the plans are for United Stations, the series' syndicator and Legends in the coming weeks. The Sounds of Sinatra is now curated by Brian Mark, son of the late Sid Mark, who passed away earlier this year, with selected reruns filling the 10-12 noon block. I think Legends will take the same path.

But what of WROW? They cut local vet Bob Cudmore two years ago during the early months of the pandemic, and if the bridge is burned, Talk of The Town won't return at all when its needed now. Cudmore, based in Amsterdam, is enjoying retirement.

The solution?

1. Pick a full-time host for Albany Street, and move it to a more accessible time.

2. Pick a new moderator to help with News, Views, & Interviews. WYJB morning host and program director Chad O'Hara would be a good bet to fill both of those holes.

3. Move Legends and Sinatra to the afternoon block, and make use of John Gabriel, the Saturday morning host, on Sundays as well.

You can't go wrong.

On The Shelf, Sabrina, Harley, and a few other things

 As part of Spider-Man's 60th anniversary, Marvel issued a facsimile edition of the 1st ever Amazing Spider-Man Annual from 1964, with the web-spinner's 1st meeting with the Sinister Six. Unfortunately, while the story's still good, artistically, it hasn't aged well. Steve Ditko's work would continue to morph as he transitioned from Marvel to DC & Charlton a few years later, using stock poses and facial expressions. When Ditko returned to Marvel in the late 70's-early 80's, this was even more apparent. When he went to Archie in the mid-80's, at least he had people inking him that calmed down the pencils. 

An annual in 1964 was 25 cents. Overcompensating for inflation Marvel's asking price for this reprint is an unsightly $8. Ugh.

Rating: B--.

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Spider-Man is not the only one turning 60, of course.

Archie Comics is marking the 60th anniversary of Sabrina, The Teen-Age Witch with a 1-shot special that follows the usual formula for the Archie & Friends series. That is, a 5 page new story, followed by reprints. In this case, it's a big mistake.

The idea was to hype up a new nemesis for Sabrina in Amber Nightstone, a redheaded witch who was born on the same day and at the same time as Sabrina herself. Unfortunately, Archie under-delivered, capping the story at 5 pages, contradicting their own goals. How are you supposed to build a rivalry if your new villain is vanquished in just 5 pages?

Seriously, they should've skipped the reprints and made this a book-length adventure. As it is, writer-penciller Dan Parent's 1st mistake was picking up the story as Amber enters, instead of setting things up correctly.

Unless they're planning on a new ongoing series for Sabrina, this isn't going anywhere, though I like the Easter egg of Sabrina's eyes & mouth on the outside of the Dark Decanter (think the open to I Dream of Jeannie). Veteran inker Bob Smith, who worked for DC in the 70's & 80's, backs up Parent.

We talked before about the cover, as Parent reimagined and updated Dan DeCarlo's original cover to Sabrina, The Teen-Age Witch 1 from 1971, the updates being the use of modern technology, such as a flat-screen TV which, of course, is showing Riverdale, and the change in Sabrina's wardrobe into a red blouse, blue skirt, and black tights (sneakers on the floor), posing her seductively on the sofa while multi-tasking. 

Story's too short, the reprints are fine, but book-length stories should be the order of the day for these 1-shots to keep readers coming back.

Rating: B-.

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Last year at this time, and, yes, today is Batman Day, DC previewed Batman: Knightwatch, a digital first miniseries that only now is seeing print. In the first issue, Clayface & Catwoman are the featured characters, both having walked the line between good & evil in recent years (and Catwoman has been more hero than villain in this era). Catwoman's battle with Batgirl recalls their rivalry in animated form back in the 90's. Unfortunately, it doesn't play well here.

Rating: B.

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As season 3 of Harley Quinn is dropping on HBO Max (the season'a already over, and the show's been renewed for season 4), DC serves up a Prestige format special, a parody of Bravo's Real Housewives line of "reality" shows, with The Real Sidekicks of New Gotham, an anthology 1-shot that is alternately amusing and annoying. If you're a fan of the profane satire, this is for you. Some of the stories have better art than Max Sabin, and that's saying something. 

I've advocated all along that DC should've made The Eat, Bang, & Kill Tour as a Black Label book, and this should've been, too. Keep this away from the kiddo's and the Republicans, and you're fine.

Rating: B.

Shipping migrants to Massachusetts or anywhere else is not "owning the libs". It's shirking responsibility

 Back in April, Texas Governor Greg "Shakedown" Abbott began sending buses of migrants, or, undocumented immigrants, to Washington and Chicago. Why? Because the Republicans are obsessed with "owning the libs" and sticking it to the Biden administration. Abbott is claiming that the Biden administration is doing nothing about migrants crossing the border. They don't have to if you do things the way you're supposed to, jackass.

Knowing full well the heat was on him, Abbott convinced fellow GOPer governor Ron DeStupid to join in. Abbott & DeStupid arranged for migrants to be brought to Florida earlier this week. As you know, they've since been flown to Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts, where they were welcomed with open arms. Fox Shmooze had a camera crew there to record DeStupid's little stunt.

He's a Trump wanna-be.

Now, we're learning that Fox's Tabloid Carlson put the idea forward two months ago on his garbage hour to send migrants to Martha's Vineyard. Of course, Carlson made some racist remarks on his Thursday show, but the fun's soon going to come to an end, assuming the White House convinces the Department of Justice to crack down on Abbott & DeStupid.

This is not about "owning the libs", in this writer's opinion. It is about shirking and dodging responsibility. It is about passing the buck on addressing the migrant issue for DeStupid and Abbott, and other GOPer leaders, such as Arizona's Doug "Acey" Ducey. The White House issued a statement Thursday blasting DeStupid & Abbott as being "cruel". Wasting taxpayer dollars is cruel, all right, torture on the taxpayers because their leaders don't want the responsibility.

Update, 10:21 am (ET): Farron Cousins breaks it all down:

 

DeStupid is up for re-election in November. He needs to be taken down, if not by the voters, but by the DOJ. If he falls, the dominoes will follow behind him. It needs to happen.

Prince Pillow loses his phone to the FBI. America's Oldest Baby is whining

 On Tuesday, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell had his cell phone seized by the FBI while he was at a Hardee's drive-thru, as he's being investigated for pushing false claims about the 2020 election.

Unsurprisingly, Donald Trump is in a snit, and whined about it on Truth Social. Farron Cousins explains.

22 months after the election, and these idiots still don't get it. Lindell wasted everyone's time with another cyber-scamposium last month, which is really a telethon for his fading pillow business. And, as for Trump......

Stop playing the victim card. Outside of your pea-brained base, no one's buying. We wouldn't be surprised at all if Truth Social and MyPillow both disappear in less than a year.

We're also learning that when Dumb Donald floated the idea to buy Greenland from Denmark, that idea was given to him by cosmetics mogul Ronald Lauder (as in, Estee Lauder). If you needed any more proof that Trump treated the White House like an extension of the Trump Organization, there it is.

We tried to reach out to Trump's personal psychologist, Dr. Vinny Boombatz, but he's not taking any calls.

More examples of GOPer stupidity

 The late entertainer Jack Benny created the image of being a tight-fisted miser, which worked for many years in radio & television.

As his own public image has been irrevocably destroyed, Donald John Ebenezer Scrooge Trump has long been exposed as being a real life miser who won't spend any of his own money, instead grifting & swindling his brainwashed followers over and over again. 

He's trying to con his supporters and/or the average non-partisan taxpayer to foot the bill for the special master he's insisted upon because he's too cheap to pay his bills. One gets the feeling the Archduke of Affluenza thinks Benny's act was real, so it works for him, too. In the long run, it won't.

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Meanwhile, in Colorado, the Mile High Airhead, Lauren Bow-Wow, was humiliated in a debate with her Democratic challenger on Saturday.

Ms. Rocky Mountain Dumb took issue with the moderator, Edie Sonn, because she believed Sonn supported her opponent in 2020, and might be biased against her. Ms. Sonn works for the Colorado Behavioral Health Council when not serving as a non-partisan moderator. Unfortunately, Sonn had just as much trouble controlling Loopy Lauren as her opponent, Adam Fritsch, did.

Loopy Lauren repeatedly went to one irresponsible talking point, that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who's old enough to be Boebert's mom, runs a con game, and claimed that if Fritsch beats her, and Pelosi remains Speaker, he'll work for Pelosi. I don't think that's how it works.

But, consider, too, Sonn's line of work. It has to do with psychology. Something Boebert doesn't know thing one about.

For attacking the character of a non-partisan moderator, and making the debate a forum for her ego, Lauren Bow-Wow gets the Weasel ears.

Musical Interlude: Crush on You (1985-6)

 The Jets, based out of Minneapolis, emigrated to the US from Tonga, and began performing in the 70's. A co-ed band in the mold of the Sylvers, the Jets' early success surely had people thinking they would be the next Sylvers or Jacksons or, because of their Mormon upbringing, the Osmonds.

And, no, Jet is not their family name. It's actually Wolfgramm. Elizabeth Wolfgramm was 13 when she recorded the vocals for their 2nd single, "Crush on You":

Eddie Wolfgramm spun off from the family group to form Boys Club, which had a 1-hit wonder with "I Remember Holding You" in 1988, but is currently back with the Jets.

Sports this 'n' that

 Well, that didn't take long.

Nebraska sacked head coach Scott Frost on Sunday after the Cornhuskers got out of the blocks with a 1-2 start following a loss to Georgia Southern.

Photo courtesy Yahoo!.

Frost, a former quarterback at Nebraska who was drafted by the Jests, but washed out in the NFL after a couple of years, had just started his 5th season at his alma mater. Nebraska has suffered the consequences of school administration chasing the money after leaving the Big 12 for the Big 10 a few years ago, a clear case of a square peg in a round hole (see also: Rutgers). With former rivals Texas & Oklahoma set to move to the SEC, chasing bigger money themselves, there's an opening where Nebraska could return to the Big 12. They're better served if they did.

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The defending World Series champion Atlanta Braves began Saturday with a 1/2 game lead over the Mets in the NL East. That lead didn't even last 24 hours, and this morning, the Braves are back in 2nd, 1 1/2 games behind the Mets, after losing the last two games of their series to Seattle, while the Mets throttled Miami to the tune of 20-6 in the last two games.

And this is despite the Mets losing co-ace Max Scherzer (oblique) and star outfielder Starling Marte (finger) to the IL in the last few days. When you're top winners are your #4-5 starters (Carlos Carrasco & Taijuan Walker), you're doing something right. The Mets have 2 games left with Miami coming in two weeks, and will close the season with Atlanta. In between now and then, they'll finish business with the NL Central, starting tonight against Chicago. It's all about that 1st round bye that comes with the division title.

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A number of NFL teams saw key players go down with injuries on Sunday.

New England QB Mac Jones suffered a back injury in a loss to Miami. X-rays, however, were negative, so Jones could be ready for the team's next game. Journeyman backup Brian Hoyer would start otherwise.

Pittsburgh LB and former Subway pitchman TJ Watt was injured in a win over Cincinnati. Steelers fans are hoping it's not serious.

Dallas QB Dak Prescott suffered a hand injury in Sunday's loss to Tampa Bay, and will be out for an indefinite period. The Cowboys, or, more specifically, owner-GM Jerry Jones didn't even bother trying to draft or trade for a capable QB in case of a situation like this in the offseason, and it's already biting him in the wallet. Karma, you know.

In the same game, Tampa RB Leonard Fournette nearly wiped out Dallas' star defensive back Micah Parsons with a block while Parsons was engaged with another offensive player. This caught the attention of Buffalo LB Von Miller, who thinks that this kind of play should be outlawed by the league.

However, not everyone's on the same wavelength with Miller, who was roasted on Twitter.

What I do get is the likelihood of Brady haters siding with Miller, given how Brady's Patriots teams often got away with dirty tricks, too.

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America's Idiot, Stephen A. Smith, got roasted Friday for forgetting that the Philadelphia Eagles traded receiver Jalon Reager to Minnesota in the off-season. In discussing the Eagles' opener, Smith mistakenly assumed Reager was still on the team. Apparently, Smith isn't paying too much attention to headlines before going on the air, and this is the 2nd time at least that this has bitten him on his overpaid tuchis. Seems he thinks he's too cool for production meetings.

In Theatres: Thor: Love & Thunder (2022)

 If the last couple of "Avengers" movies have shown us anything, it's that Marvel Studios decided that Thor (Chris Hemsworth) needed to have a personality change. As a result, once he was stranded on Earth, Thor turned into an Asgardian version of Jeff Bridges' "Big Lebowski".

However, as the 4th Thor solo film, "Love & Thunder", opens, Thor is back to fighting trim. Good news.

Much of the plot is lifted from Jason Aaron's storyline a few years back that had Thor's ex, Dr. Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), take up the mantle of Thor, including the hammer Mjolnir, while Thor himself has Stormbringer, an axe that in the books was given to a mortal, Eric Masterson, aka Thunderstrike, back in the 90's. Stormbringer gets its name from the works of Michael Moorcock.

Anyway, Gorr, the God Butcher (Christian Bale under a ton of makeup), the last of his race, is out to end the Asgardians who've settled on Earth. The Thors have a problem with that.

As with Hawkeye, there's some cheesy dinner theatre silliness carried over from an earlier movie, as a New Asgardian company (Matt Damon, Sam Neill, Luke Hemsworth, Melissa McCarthy) attempts to entertain the masses. Apparently, their budget is in a box of shoestrings.

Check the trailer:

Given the presence of the Guardians of The Galaxy early on, there's also a soundtrack rife with 80's music from Dio and Guns 'n' Roses, plus GNR's 1991 epic, "November Rain". Also, Heimdall's son has named himself after GNR singer W. Axl Rose. Ok. We also get Russell Crowe chewing up scenery as Zeus, complete with Greek accent.

Rating: B-.

Notes from around town

 As previously reported, Days of Our Lives moves exclusively to Peacock starting Monday. To fill the void, NBC will add a hour-long afternoon news program, NBC News Daily, which locally will lead to a 2 hour talk show block, followed by 3 hours of news, including NBC Nightly News.

Not to be outdone, closer to home, WTEN is adding an extra hour of News10 in The Morning at 9 am, in back of Good Morning, America. Weekend anchor Stephanie Rivas will handle this hour, which leads to Sherri Shepherd's new self-titled talk show.

Shepherd (ex-The View, The Newlywed Game) previously had a self-titled series in 2009, which lasted one season. The actress' new, slimmer look should be a selling point.

==================================

The North Central district in the hometown hasn't had a grocery in too long. That's about to change with the opening of a market on River Street. We may need to check that out at some point. We've also yet to pay a visit to Dollar General in Lansingburgh, which has been open for a while.

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Walking up Congress Street, between 3rd & 4th Streets, one can't help but feel sad that some businesses have left the block in recent weeks. We've mentioned the for sale sign in the window at Jimmy's Lunch. The attempt to open a West Indian restaurant in the former Troy Kitchen space apparently has died. A corner grocer which had occupied the former Coffee Tyme diner, closed its doors earlier this year. Midtown Grocery has changed its name to Lucky Stop, and has discontinued its deli department. Styles Upon Styles, an urban barbershop, also closed. Real sad.

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After nearly 2 1/2 years, and thanks to a decision by Governor Hochul, the mask mandates on public transportation have changed. Locally, CDTA has made masks optional, but encouraged, so your best bet is to still carry a mask in your bag or pocket until we no longer need the masks.

A paranoid, mentally unstable old man melts down again. Film at 11

 We're referring, of course, to ol' Pecos Pampers himself, aka Donald John Narcissus Trump, who's finding out very quickly that there are judges who won't bow before him, as Aileen Cannon did. In fact, Cannon's this close to getting thrown under the bus after the Department of Justice filed an appeal of her ruling that Trump was entitled to have a special master review the documents the FBI collected from Mar-a-Lago last month.

Farron Cousins explains:

And, that ain't all.

Another judge dismissed a pathetic, frivolous suit filed against Hillary Clinton and the FBI, among others, alleging a conspiracy against Trump in 2016.

So, America's Oldest Baby goes on Truth Social, whines about it, and continues to embellish things in order to obfuscate the truth from his brainwashed followers. He insists on playing the victim to grift his followers by fund-raising because he's too cheap to pay his own bills.

At 76, however, this might be the quickest way to get him to Bellevue:

Sometimes, this is just too easy.

Sports this 'n' that

 "There's a right way, and a wrong way."---Oliver Hardy to Stan Laurel.

The "activists" of Direct Action Everywhere will never learn that important life lesson if they continue to pull stunts like last night during the Rams-Bills game.

You're not helping your cause by being stupid.

During the NBA playoffs, DAE repeatedly sent "activists" to disrupt games to call attention to animal abuses allegedly tied to Minnesota's outgoing owner, Glen Taylor, and Smithfield Farms. One idiot showed up during the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on July 4, and got taken down by the eventual winner, Joey Chestnut.

Then, there was last night, as depicted above. Two women ran onto the field with smoke bombs, but of course were taken down, arrested, and removed from So-Fi Stadium. You'd think by now they'd learn that's not the smartest of moves, because for one thing, if they go on the field too early, they won't be seen on camera. DAE took credit for the stunt.

Here's an idea, morons. Instead of disrupting sports events to get attention, do the right thing. Book a press conference. You know who your "enemy" is, so confront him directly, as your company name suggests. You try another stunt during baseball's post-season next month, you're only going to lower your profile, instead of raise it.

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Add Bills-Rams. British music legend Ozzy Osbourne was advertised as the halftime entertainment in what might be one of his last public appearances as a resident of the US. Osbourne has talked about returning to his native England in recent days.

While NBC's Maria Taylor introduced Osbourne, he was in the middle of the concert, and Twitter blasted NBC for showing only 10 seconds of the concert before throwing it back to halftime highlights. Osbourne's latest solo album drops today, but whomever the jabroni at NBC is that decided to back out of the concert gets the Weasel ears.

Oh, by the way, the Bills rolled over the reigning Super Bowl champs, 31-10.

=================================================

To follow up on a report from Wednesday, All Elite Wrestling CEO/owner Tony Khan addressed the fallout from Sunday's All Out show at the start of Dynamite.

Three days after winning the trios titles, Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson) had the titles vacated by Khan, as the trio are serving a suspension of undetermined length. The Death Triangle (PAC, who already has AEW's equivalent of the Intercontinental title, & the Lucha Brothers, Fenix & Penta El Zero Miedo) defeated Orange Cassidy & the Best Friends to win the titles.

What isn't clear about CM Punk is if he's been suspended. What is clear is that he suffered a torn tricep muscle in the course of winning back the AEW title from Jon Moxley. Punk is gone until at least spring 2023. A tournament began to determine a new champion, with the semi-finals taking place at MVP Arena on September 14. The word in the media, though, is that many in AEW want Punk gone after turning into a locker room pariah after an injury-riddled comeback.

================================================

For all the Yankees fans out there, it might be a better bet to have Aaron Judge break Roger Maris' team record for home runs before the 155th game is played. As memory serves, the schedule didn't expand to 162 games until after Maris set the standard in 1961. With 55 homers and counting, Judge has the team record for right handed sluggers, and needs 7 to pass Maris.

If you don't understand the system, don't complain about it. Accept it.

 Former Alaska Governor and Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, as you might know, lost a special election to fill a vacant Senate seat from her state. So, of course, she's whining about it because of the system used to determine the winner, referred to as ranked choice.

Voters are initially asked to rank the candidates in order of preference. In the final vote, Palin finished 2nd behind the winner, a Democrat. If only Governor Grizzly remembered how "reality" competition shows like Survivor, for example, work. It's a similar principle, but without the manufactured drama, only in this case, Palin decided to create some drama to renew her 15 minutes of fame.

She shredded the ranked choice formula, which was also tested in Maine four years ago, whining that it was "cockamamie", or, unfair. The message is clear, dim bulb. You cast your lot with swine like Donald Trump, the smarter Republicans, and most of the people of Alaska, will reject you, and they did. If you took the time to Google "ranked choice" before the process began, I'd venture to guess you'd get a better understanding of how this works. 

May you be strapped to a chair and forced to binge the entire run of Northern Exposure until Christmas.

Musical Interlude: In The City (1979)

 Eagles guitarist Joe Walsh teamed with composer Barry DeVorzon to create "In The City", which was first released as a solo track for the movie, "The Warriors", in 1979. That same year, it was included on the Eagles' album, "The Long Run". The following video was shot in the recording studio during the "Long Run" sessions.

The worst possible scenario at the worst possible time

 "Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten us into!"---Oliver Hardy to Stan Laurel, many times.

AEW CEO Tony Khan, whose family also owns the NFL's moribound Jacksonville Jaguars, has a mess on his hands with his 3 year old promotion.

Following Sunday's marathon All Out PPV in Chicago, things really got out of hand. Newly re-crowned champion and hometown hero CM Punk (Phil Brooks) lashed out at newly crowned trios champions Kenny Omega & The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson), "Hangman" Adam Page, and former compadre and fellow Chicago native Colt Cabana (Scott Colton) during the post-show presser. Khan sat to Punk's left (viewer's right), and had to be shocked.

It got even worse after, with reports of a fight among Punk, Omega, and the Bucks. Rumors are these surrounding Punk:

1. He may have suffered a torn pectoral muscle.

2. His 2nd reign as champion may be a short one, with talk that he could be released as of tonight.

As of this morning, Omega, the Bucks, their respective hangers-on, Michael Nakazawa & Brandon Cutler, and agent-producers Pat Buck, Christopher Daniels, and Ace Steel, the latter another friend of Punk's, have been placed on suspension, and Moxley, along with Chris Jericho, has been summoned to Buffalo for tonight's episode of Dynamite, with the promotion's Albany debut at MVP Arena a week away.

For Khan, the timing couldn't be worse.

After Punk first won the title, he had to step aside due to a foot injury. A tournament was held to crown an interim champion, won by Moxley, who subsequently defeated Punk two weeks ago. Punk won the rematch on Sunday. Punk's comeback, which began last year after a 7 year hiatus, during which time he wrote comic books and dabbled in MMA, looks like it's stalled with a potentially burnt bridge if he & Khan agree to part ways. That means another tournament, almost certain to put the title on Long Island product Maxwell J. Friedman, who returned on Sunday after a prima donna episode of his own.

With a resurgent WWE under new management, AEW conceivably could be crumbling under the pressure. Albany native Bobby Fish was let go last week, but as of Monday was challenging Punk to a fight. Add to this the new management of Warner Bros Discovery, which already has fans fearing the worst, and suddenly, the future doesn't look so bright for AEW.

Part of what set Punk off were rumors he had something to do with Cabana being moved to the Ring of Honor roster (Khan acquired ROH from Sinclair Broadcasting earlier this year), something Punk denies. I'd venture to suggest that putting the trios titles on Omega & the Bucks, who double as officers in the company, wasn't a good idea, other than for public relations or stroking egos, or whatever other rationale possibly exists.

It might be worth watching Dynamite just for the drama.

Classic TV: Break The Bank (1948)

 There have been three iterations of Break The Bank, each as distinct and different as night and day.

We've previously covered the two series that aired from 1976-77 (ABC & syndication) that employed nine stars and a game grid. The use of the celebrities was decried as a knockoff of NBC's popular Hollywood Squares. ABC gave the show 13 weeks, while the syndicated version lasted on season.

Eight years after that syndicated run ended, former Jack Barry assistant Richard S. Kline acquired the rights, and brought the series back, this time as a standard quiz on the order of the rest of the Barry-Dan Enright line of the 70's & 80's. This version went through two hosts, and also lasted a season.

Now, we're going all the way back to the first TV iteration, which began all the way back in 1948, and was passed around the networks before finishing on NBC in 1957, all of this after launching on radio on Mutual in 1945.

Bert Parks, best known, of course, for later hosting the Miss America Pageant for a number of years on NBC, was the definitive MC on both radio and TV, aided in the former by uber busy Bud Collyer. As was the case on TV, Bank shifted radio networks, too. ABC & NBC each ran the show concurrently on radio & TV, and if Mutual had a TV network, they'd probably have done the same.

The format for this Bank is similar to other quizzes of the period. Here, then, is a 1956 offering toward the end of the ABC run, as Dodge also sponsored The Lawrence Welk Show and Make Room For Daddy at the same time.

No rating, of course.

Proof that Ron DeStupid's policies don't work

 School has started in some states, such as Florida. It hasn't taken very long for controversy to rear its head in the classroom after a substitute teacher handed out a pop quiz to 6th graders in Bradenton the other day. One question in particular tries to obfuscate and confuse the students about the 2020 Presidential election.

Farron Cousins explains:

Florida Governor Ron DeStupid signed laws earlier this year mandating that teachers could not "indoctrinate" students with their political agendas. This was aimed at Democratic teachers, but, as Farron explains, the mandate has backfired spectacularly, as the in absentia teacher who wrote the lesson was in fact a Republican. The poor substitute will likely be sacrificed so DeStupid can make himself look good in front of his low info base. The school board in Bradenton wants to sweep this under the rug as quickly as possible, but the weak lip service doesn't inspire confidence that anything's really going to happen, and that's wrong.

As a lifelong New Yorker, politics never entered the classroom in my student days. Oh, sure, there was a class field trip to the State Capitol in Albany, but that was it.

The vagueness of how DeStupid's laws are written were bound to work against him, and they have. All the more reason to get this Trump knock-off knocked out of office and out of contention for 2024.

Frank Gifford for Westinghouse (1970)

 Former Giants star Frank Gifford, at the time working for CBS, was brought in to do at least this one ad for Westinghouse, promoting a kitchen range.

The very next year, Gifford bolted for ABC and Monday Night Football, and, well, you know the rest of the story.

Musical Interlude: Who Wears These Shoes? (1984)

 From the CD, "Breaking Hearts", comes a dance track from Elton John. Follow the orange brick road on this abstract set as Elton grooves to "Who Wears These Shoes?". The use of supporting players fading in & out was derived from ZZ Top's schtick of ghosting a year earlier in their videos.

And some people want to claim Elton invented what would be called "The Carlton Dance", made famous by Alfonso Ribiero on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air a few years later? Ya might want to do some research. Until Elton came out a few years ago, we could've imagined him as the luckiest man on the planet with all those dancers in the v-shaped leotards cozying up to him..........

Sports this 'n' that

 After Serena Williams announced that the US Open might be her last tournament, officials with the event may have gone a wee bit overboard in her three singles matches over the last five nights.

Williams, who was eliminated last night, has had a video montage play before her matches. Not sure if this also applied to her doubles match with sister Venus, in which they were eliminated in the 1st round. Tradition dictates that the opponent is introduced first, but, perhaps for the benefit of ESPN, they had Williams come out first, followed by the video, then her opponent.

So backward. The decision has generated heat against tournament organizers and ESPN, which, one suspects, wanted this order to goose ratings. I'm not going to even imagine the same thing happening if golfer Tiger Woods ever is forced to retire.

Williams has had endorsements during her career, including Gatorade, and, most recently, DirecTV's online stream, which found a means to outfit her as Wonder Woman. I wonder if she could play Nubia in a future movie.....!

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Capital One isn't just content with Jennifer Garner and Samuel L. Jackson as their primary endorsers. In recent months, they've contracted former NBA star and TNT analyst Charles Barkley to do radio & TV ads in addition to his being a pitchman for Subway, and, now, newly minted Hall of Famer Derek Jeter. "The Easiest Decision in The History of Decisions" comes off with them as being a bit forced.

Barkley is now joined by Tony Romo in on-camera spots for Subway. Stop the pain! This is why their subs are now over $10 per footlong. Inflation is chump change by comparison!!

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Reddit commentators are a sensitive bunch.

Fans of the Atlanta Braves have dismissed the Mets' winning 9 of 16 from the defending champs as "lucky", a sentiment echoed by Braves pitcher Spencer "EZ" Strider. From what I've observed, fans of most teams probably spend time on talk radio channels, too, and it sounds like it.

I will remind that 16 years ago, the Mets ended the Braves' run of division titles, and, barring a collapse, could do it again. I think, privately, Braves fans are cringing over that.

Dunce Cap Award: Alina Habba

 There's a reason that Alina Habba (Dabba Doo), one of Donald Trump's hired-on-the-cheap lawyers, is not respected by other barristers. She's been trained to be a professional airhead on camera, as Jesse Dollemore demonstrates:

You've heard the phrase, "open mouth, insert foot", right? We know Trump routinely inserts both feet, as do his two oldest sons, Dumb Donald II & Stupid-E, and sycophants like Rudy Goofiani, Rusty Gaetz, Goofy Gosar, Screwy Louie, et al. Alina is doing the same. In case you wonder about the "nickname" attached to her, well........

"Er....ah.... she was the president of my fan club in her hometown when she was a kid."

Yeah, sure, Fred.

Her double-speak across two networks, chatting with Pumpkin Spicer and Spam Hannity, means only one thing:

Enough said. Par for the course for Team Trump.

2022 NFL preview

 We are six days away from the start of the 2022 season. In a switch, the NFL is giving teams a week off prior to the start of the season, which might be a good thing in the long term.

AFC East:

Scandal is plaguing defending division champion Buffalo, having been forced to cut rookie punter Matt Araiza last week over a rape case that took place during his senior season at San Diego State. By the time the season ends, it will be little more than small potatoes, at least until Araiza resurfaces elsewhere. Otherwise, the Bills' core remains largely intact for another post-season run.

You know things are bad in New England when the Patriots finished 1-2 in the preseason, and there are still some concerns with 2nd year QB Mac Jones. The Jets finished 3-0, but that doesn't always translate into a playoff run. Miami made a bunch of questionable decisions, and lost draft picks. Their biggest off-season move, signing Tyreek Hill (Kansas City), won't net them a playoff spot.

Projected order of finish:

1. Buffalo.

2. New England.

3. Jets.

3 (tie). Miami.

AFC North:

The saga of Mitch Trubisky, once a promising star in Chicago, brings him to Pittsburgh, where he'll be either starting or mentoring rookie Kenny Pickett. Mason Rudolph could end up the odd man out. Cincinnati won't sneak up on anyone this season, and will compete for the wild card instead of a division title. Lamar Jackson's facing questions about his future in Baltimore, but if he finds his groove, the Ravens will be poised for a division title. DeShaun Watson won't see the field in Cleveland until they face his former team, Houston, in Week 13. An 11 game suspension is a stiff price for all those allegations of sexual misconduct, most of which have been settled out of court.

Projected order of finish:

1. Baltimore.

2. Pittsburgh.

3. Cincinnati.

4. Cleveland.

AFC South:

Doug Pederson won a Super Bowl in Philadelphia, but now he's being asked to right the ship in Jacksonville and help 2nd year QB Trevor Lawrence find his footing. Needs more than that. The post-Watson era actually began last year in Houston, but now that he's officially gone, and the ambulance chaser that ran him out has faded away, they can get back to the business of football. It's still a two-team race, though, between Tennessee & Indianapolis.

Projected order of finish:

1. Tennessee.

2. Indianapolis.

3. Houston.

4. Jacksonville.

AFC West:

Kansas City faces a more uphill climb, with Tyreek Hill gone (Miami), and defenses will focus more on Patrick Mahomes. They'll still make a run, and maybe win another division title. Denver swapped quarterbacks with Seattle, and signed Russell Wilson to a 5 year extension on Thursday. Wilson could get that elusive Super Bowl yet. Las Vegas faded down the stretch last year, and can't afford to have that happen again. Los Angeles had the same thing happen to them. This year, it will be a 4-way dogfight up to about Christmas.

Projected order of finish:

1. Los Angeles.

2. Kansas City.

2 (tie). Denver.

2 (tie). Las Vegas.

NFC East:

Why Washington owner Daniel "Napoleon" Snyder waited so long to change the team's name to Commanders, I'll never know. Should've done that years ago. Unfortunately, they're as dysfunctional as ever. If Dak Prescott and Dallas can't silence their critics, even with a division title, I think Dak can sell those nay-sayers some Sleep Number beds. Their defense, though, will carry them again. The Giants teased their fan base with two straight comeback wins, but couldn't put away the Jests. That's trouble. Philadelphia did a fade, but can always be counted on to spoil the Giants' post-season dreams.

Projected order of finish:

1. Dallas.

2. Philadelphia.

3. Giants.

4. Washington.

NFC North:

As long as Aaron Rodgers stays in Green Bay, Jordan Love is not going to get his chance to be the starting quarterback. I don't think Rodgers has been totally forgiven for being an anti-vax jabroni last year, but, well......! It's year 2 for Justin Fields in Chicago, and the pressure is already on. Ditto for Jared Goff in Detroit, which stops their teases after Thanksgiving. Minnesota didn't look like they actually did anything to help themselves in the draft.

Projected order of finish:

1. Green Bay.

2. Chicago.

3. Minnesota. 

3(tie). Detroit.

NFC South:

Lost in the Tom Brady soap opera in Tampa Bay is the fact that OJ Howard is gone (Houston), along with Rob Gronkowski, who was last seen on a UFC Fight Night with his family on ESPN 2 weeks ago. Maybe Gronk wants to embarrass himself in the Octagon next. Carolina got Baker Mayfield (Cleveland) to solve their QB problem, which could mean the end of those Progressive Insurance commercials. Cam Newton is still waiting for a phone call. Atlanta ended the Matt Ryan era by trading him to Indianapolis, signaling that they're still in rebuilding mode. The goal for New Orleans is to keep Jameis Winston healthy. Yeah, that'll work.

Projected order of finish:

1. Tampa Bay.

2. Carolina.

3. New Orleans.

4. Atlanta.

NFC West:

After all the drama, San Francisco realized that Jimmy Garappolo is their best chance at QB to lead them back to the Super Bowl, so they decided not to move him. Unfortunately, they do have other headaches, such as Deebo Samuel asking for a trade. Drew Lock hasn't exactly warmed up the fan base in Seattle, and coach Pete Carroll decided to name Geno Smith as his starting QB, nearly 10 years after Smith was drafted by the Jests. Lock threw 3 interceptions against Dallas last week, which gave him a seat on the bench. Los Angeles remains the team to beat, but Arizona needs to avoid another desert collapse, because another late season fade could send Kliff Kingsbury out of town.

Projected order of finish:

1. Los Angeles.

2. San Francisco.

3. Arizona.

4. Seattle.

Of course, I could be wrong.