Rather than just hand out one set of weasel ears and one dunce cap this week, we've multiples of each. We'll deal with them one case at a time.
Weasel #1: Kim Kardashian. Her divorce from hoopster Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets hasn't been finalized, but that hasn't stopped the publicity-obsessed Kardashian from calling more attention to herself, this time leeching onto rapper Kanye West, no stranger to controversy in his own right. While some media outlets are buying into the belief that West is Kim's latest squeeze, others are claiming it's another publicity stunt. However way you slice it, Kim is better off doing something more worthwhile, like, you know, working for a living!!! All she's doing is extending her 15 minutes that comes mostly from her exaggerated backside, once parodied by Eminem, among others. Sorry, kid, but it's time to get a real job.
Dunce #1: Ozzie Guillen. What was the Miami Marlins' manager thinking when he told a Time Magazine reporter that he had respect and admiration for Cuba's Fidel Castro? Has he already forgotten that his team's new stadium is situated right in the middle of Miami's Little Havana district, and that the citizens there absolutely despise Castro? Apparently. The Marlins benched Guillen for 5 games, as of last night, but the bottom line is, this is just Ozzie being Ozzie. He was a magnet for trouble while managing the Chicago White Sox, leading with his mouth. It doesn't help that the Marlins got off to a 1-3 start after all the hype. It wasn't so long ago that Major League Baseball censured then-Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott for speaking in positive terms about Adolf Hitler. One wonders if MLB suits will add to Guillen's punishment, or if they're satisfied that Marlins owner Jeff Loria, who spent a ton of money to upgrade his roster, policed things himself.
Weasel #2: Bobby Petrino. Petrino was dismissed as football coach at Arkansas on Tuesday, this coming after a motorcycle accident involving a 20-something woman identified as Petrino's mistress who was riding with Petrino. He was cited for lying to his bosses at Arkansas about the incident and trying to cover up his infidelity. This is the same guy who wore out his welcome in the NFL in half a season in Atlanta, perhaps setting a record of a sort. I'll be happy to award a Dunce Cap to the next school administrator that takes a chance on this duplicitous dweeb.
Weasel #3: Milande Wilson. They finally announced the winning ticket holders of the $656 million dollar Mega Millions jackpot, and Ms. Wilson wasn't one of them. Wilson claimed first to have had a winning ticket, then lost it, then had to weather the storm of a lawsuit filed by another woman, which now will be withdrawn for obvious reasons. Ms. Wilson was looking for her 15 minutes, which have quickly evaporated. I feel sorry for her lawyer, who got dragged into this like a Dunce.
Dunce #2: Walter Chambliss. Mr. Chambliss is a track coach at Homestead Sr. High in Miami. He also happens to have a suspended license, and despite it, he was able to rent a car to transport members of the track team to a non-league meet. Problem was, Chambliss was busted for not only the suspended license, but also for speeding. The rental car was towed away, and Chambliss was hauled off to the slammer, leaving the trackmen behind with no way of getting to the meet. You'd think Chambliss would've been aware of his license issue, but he opted to ignore. Coaches are supposed to teach responsibility and accountability, and he was neither responsible nor accountable for his failings, only in his own mind.
Weasel #4: Homestead SHS faculty. Speaking of lacking responsibility, Chambliss' bosses at Homestead left those kids in the lurch, refusing to provide alternate transportation to the meet because it was "not an official event". As in, unsanctioned. Probably a clandestine deal put together by certain sponsors more interested in exploiting the athletes to make a few bucks, but we'll never know that. This cold hearted approach fails because it goes against the whole idea of ensuring the students' safety. Parents are upset, and rightfully so.
What does this tell us? An unsanctioned event involving high school athletes should still be under the school's jurisdiction, regardless. The athlete isn't just there for himself to draw the attention of college scouts, but he is a representative of his school. In that context, the school should still be looking out for his well being, not worrying about bottom lines that they're not entitled to and avoiding responsibility when those kids need them in a time of need.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
On The Air: Ring of Honor Wrestling
Ring of Honor (ROH) is aspiring to be Avis to WWE's Hertz in terms of wrestling, if you get my drift. TNA has tried for the last decade, but they keep tripping over themselves with bad writing, bad booking, and an over-reliance on faded stars, a good number of whom came down from WWE.
ROH took over the Philadelphia market that had been home to ECW until it was absorbed by WWE in 2001. They're not extreme, but rather, more of an old school promotion with some of today's wrinkles mixed in. Former WWE announcer Kevin Kelly was brought in late last year as the promotion's new play-by-play man, coinciding with the change in television. ROH lost its deal with Mark Cuban's HDNet, shortly after the network was dropped by Time Warner Cable in much of the country. Sinclair Broadcasting bought ROH last year, and has since continued to purchase television stations to increase not only their visibility in the marketplace, but also ROH's. In my home district, Sinclair acquired CBS affiliate WRGB and CW affiliate WCWN a few months ago, and right before Easter, ROH made its debut in the Albany market, airing on WCWN Saturdays at 9 pm (ET), with a replay on Sunday nights at midnight.
Edit: 10/28/15: Here's an episode from April 2012:
Aside from Kelly, there aren't that many familiar faces in ROH. Veteran manager-promoter Jim Cornette, better known for his many years with WCW & WWE, is the executive producer of ROH-TV. Jay Lethal returned to ROH last year after spending a few years with TNA. Sexy Maria Kanellis, dropped by WWE 2 years ago after nearly 6 years there, has resurfaced, billed as the "First Lady of ROH".
All that's left now is ROH making an inroad into the Albany area for a house show or television taping. TNA & WWE have shared the use of the Times Union Center in Albany and the Glens Falls Civic Center. That leaves venues with old school auras like the Washington Avenue Armory in Albany and the RPI-James Houston Field House in Troy, neither of which have hosted pro wrestling in years. In fact, it's been 22 since WCW's last visit to Troy. Vince McMahon may not think TNA is competition, and they've given him no real reason to think otherwise, but ROH is another story altogether.
Rating: A.
ROH took over the Philadelphia market that had been home to ECW until it was absorbed by WWE in 2001. They're not extreme, but rather, more of an old school promotion with some of today's wrinkles mixed in. Former WWE announcer Kevin Kelly was brought in late last year as the promotion's new play-by-play man, coinciding with the change in television. ROH lost its deal with Mark Cuban's HDNet, shortly after the network was dropped by Time Warner Cable in much of the country. Sinclair Broadcasting bought ROH last year, and has since continued to purchase television stations to increase not only their visibility in the marketplace, but also ROH's. In my home district, Sinclair acquired CBS affiliate WRGB and CW affiliate WCWN a few months ago, and right before Easter, ROH made its debut in the Albany market, airing on WCWN Saturdays at 9 pm (ET), with a replay on Sunday nights at midnight.
Edit: 10/28/15: Here's an episode from April 2012:
Aside from Kelly, there aren't that many familiar faces in ROH. Veteran manager-promoter Jim Cornette, better known for his many years with WCW & WWE, is the executive producer of ROH-TV. Jay Lethal returned to ROH last year after spending a few years with TNA. Sexy Maria Kanellis, dropped by WWE 2 years ago after nearly 6 years there, has resurfaced, billed as the "First Lady of ROH".
All that's left now is ROH making an inroad into the Albany area for a house show or television taping. TNA & WWE have shared the use of the Times Union Center in Albany and the Glens Falls Civic Center. That leaves venues with old school auras like the Washington Avenue Armory in Albany and the RPI-James Houston Field House in Troy, neither of which have hosted pro wrestling in years. In fact, it's been 22 since WCW's last visit to Troy. Vince McMahon may not think TNA is competition, and they've given him no real reason to think otherwise, but ROH is another story altogether.
Rating: A.
Mike Wallace (1918-2012)
If there was ever anyone in television or radio news that defined the term, investigative reporter, it would be Mike Wallace, who was one of the original anchors of CBS' long-running 60 Minutes until his retirement in 2006. Wallace's last interview on the program aired in 2008. On Saturday, Wallace passed away at 93.
Before 60 Minutes, Wallace had been well established not only on television, but in radio, having been not only a newsman, but also an actor and announcer. Shifting over to television, Wallace, like some of his CBS contemporaries, hosted quiz shows on the side, and was the MC for the pilot of what would become To Tell The Truth, with radio actor Bud Collyer tapped as host when it went to series.
My first memory of Wallace was the syndicated anthology series, Biography, produced by David L. Wolper. It was still in reruns as far back as the early 70's as far as I can recall. Here's a clip introducing an episode on Pope Pius XII:
Wallace is the 2nd 60 Minutes personality to have passed within the last year, following Andy Rooney. Now, they can start swapping old war stories all over again. Rest in peace, Mike.
Before 60 Minutes, Wallace had been well established not only on television, but in radio, having been not only a newsman, but also an actor and announcer. Shifting over to television, Wallace, like some of his CBS contemporaries, hosted quiz shows on the side, and was the MC for the pilot of what would become To Tell The Truth, with radio actor Bud Collyer tapped as host when it went to series.
My first memory of Wallace was the syndicated anthology series, Biography, produced by David L. Wolper. It was still in reruns as far back as the early 70's as far as I can recall. Here's a clip introducing an episode on Pope Pius XII:
Wallace is the 2nd 60 Minutes personality to have passed within the last year, following Andy Rooney. Now, they can start swapping old war stories all over again. Rest in peace, Mike.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
On The Air: Santino's Foreign Exchange (2012)
Santino Marella (real name John Anthony Carelli) may be the court jester of the WWE these days, as well as its US champion, but giving him his own YouTube show may be asking for trouble.
On this installment of Santino's Foreign Exchange, taped in England late last year, Marella tries to claim that he actually submitted some songs to the Beatles when he was a child. Uh, that would be impossible. You see, if my math is correct, Marella wasn't yet born when the Beatles were one of the biggest acts in show business. This is where the running gag of this episode fails. Any educated fan, be it of music or WWE or both, can see right through Marella's scam. See if you can figure out where he trips himself up........
He should try to do stand-up comedy. I hear they are looking for someone to be the next Norm Crosby (part of Marella's schtick is his malaprops)...
Rating: C.
On this installment of Santino's Foreign Exchange, taped in England late last year, Marella tries to claim that he actually submitted some songs to the Beatles when he was a child. Uh, that would be impossible. You see, if my math is correct, Marella wasn't yet born when the Beatles were one of the biggest acts in show business. This is where the running gag of this episode fails. Any educated fan, be it of music or WWE or both, can see right through Marella's scam. See if you can figure out where he trips himself up........
He should try to do stand-up comedy. I hear they are looking for someone to be the next Norm Crosby (part of Marella's schtick is his malaprops)...
Rating: C.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Monday Night Raw, 4/2/12: A new era, and an old nightmare
We went 6-2 with our Wrestlemania picks on Sunday. Not too shabby, I'll admit, but the one match I didn't want to be on the wrong end of was the 12-man tag match. Thanks to the duplicity of Eve Torres, who had been on the losing end of a women's tag match earlier, Teddy Long is out as GM of Friday Night Smackdown. John Laurinaitis gets to run both Smackdown & Monday Night Raw into the ground until the next panic attack. In other words, when Vince McMahon finally realizes he made a mistake, he'll send Laurinaitis either back to the front office, or down to the bushes to relearn charisma.
US champ Santino Marella retained in a handicap, billed as a triple threat, title defense over Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler. WWE Champ CM Punk was counted out in a loss to Mark Henry, then had to deal with Chris Jericho afterward. Jericho smashed a bottle of Jack Daniels on Punk's head, still trying to sell the idea that Punk would eventually renounce his straight edge beliefs. Like that'll ever happen. It's a lost cause, but the writers don't know that. (Gee, what a shock, eh?)
Cody Rhodes got a taste of his own medicine after losing the Intercontinental title to Big Show at Wrestlemania. Show disrupted Rhodes' match vs. Kofi Kingston to show stills of his KO victory over Rhodes. So, of course, Rhodes lost again.
The Rock (Dwayne Johnson, to be seen next in "GI Joe: Retribution" this summer) said goodbye for now, vowing to win the WWE title for the first time in 10 years upon his return. Heh, that'd be worth the price of admission if it actually happens, and knowing the senile McMahon, it probably will. John Cena, who lost to Rock, wanted to publicly congratulate him, but was reintroduced to an old friend instead. Let me give you a little visual aid.......
Yep, he's baaaaaaaackkkkkkk!! Brock Lesnar, after retiring from UFC, has returned to WWE, and will resume hostilities vs. Cena after hitting the F-5. It's one of those things like riding a bike. You never forget, and even though it's been a while since Lesnar has actually wrestled, well....! Now you wonder if his wife, Sable, will return, too. Uh, I don't think so.
Speaking of returns, the artist formerly known as A-Train (Matt Bloom) returned, now operating under the handle of Lord Tensai. In his first match back in America in 8 years, he squashed Alex Riley like a bug. The caveman hair is gone, replaced with tattoos. I think Cena or Punk will be seeing this guy real soon, too.
I give them less than 6 months before they realize at last that Laurinaitis just isn't the long term answer. As Stone Cold Steve Austin used to say, that's all I have to say about that.
US champ Santino Marella retained in a handicap, billed as a triple threat, title defense over Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler. WWE Champ CM Punk was counted out in a loss to Mark Henry, then had to deal with Chris Jericho afterward. Jericho smashed a bottle of Jack Daniels on Punk's head, still trying to sell the idea that Punk would eventually renounce his straight edge beliefs. Like that'll ever happen. It's a lost cause, but the writers don't know that. (Gee, what a shock, eh?)
Cody Rhodes got a taste of his own medicine after losing the Intercontinental title to Big Show at Wrestlemania. Show disrupted Rhodes' match vs. Kofi Kingston to show stills of his KO victory over Rhodes. So, of course, Rhodes lost again.
The Rock (Dwayne Johnson, to be seen next in "GI Joe: Retribution" this summer) said goodbye for now, vowing to win the WWE title for the first time in 10 years upon his return. Heh, that'd be worth the price of admission if it actually happens, and knowing the senile McMahon, it probably will. John Cena, who lost to Rock, wanted to publicly congratulate him, but was reintroduced to an old friend instead. Let me give you a little visual aid.......
Yep, he's baaaaaaaackkkkkkk!! Brock Lesnar, after retiring from UFC, has returned to WWE, and will resume hostilities vs. Cena after hitting the F-5. It's one of those things like riding a bike. You never forget, and even though it's been a while since Lesnar has actually wrestled, well....! Now you wonder if his wife, Sable, will return, too. Uh, I don't think so.
Speaking of returns, the artist formerly known as A-Train (Matt Bloom) returned, now operating under the handle of Lord Tensai. In his first match back in America in 8 years, he squashed Alex Riley like a bug. The caveman hair is gone, replaced with tattoos. I think Cena or Punk will be seeing this guy real soon, too.
I give them less than 6 months before they realize at last that Laurinaitis just isn't the long term answer. As Stone Cold Steve Austin used to say, that's all I have to say about that.
WWE welcomes its 2012 Hall of Fame class
On Saturday, the WWE opened the doors, if you will, to its Hall of Fame for its 2012 class. At present, there is no physical building to house the Hall, but the word is they are thinking of building one, which would, in fact, make a lot of sense, given the company's rich history, even if Chairman-CEO Vince McMahon selectively ignores said history. Here's a look at this year's class. The highlights of the ceremony air later tonight on USA Network.
Ron Simmons: An All-American linebacker at Florida State, Simmons turned from the gridiron to the squared circle when he was unable to make it in the NFL or even the CFL. He became the first African-American World champion when he dethroned Big Van Vader in 1992, and even though that title reign was short-lived, Simmons had etched his place in history. He jumped to WWE 4 years later, adopting the guise of Faarooq, and was attired in Roman gladiator gear. The gimmick was modified to modern times when he was given a stable, the Nation of Domination, a year later, but that gave way eventually to the Acolytes, later known as APA, in which he teamed with John "Bradshaw" Layfield, who inducted him into the Hall. The APA won 3 tag titles before Simmons retired from full-time competiton in 2004.
Yokozuna: Rodney Anoia wrestled under the name Kokina Maximus for the AWA before he signed with WWE in 1992, and won 2 WWE titles from 1993-4, winning the '93 Royal Rumble in impressive fashion. He passed away just a few years ago, and was inducted posthumously by Jey & Jimmy Uso, along with their father, Rikishi.
Mike Tyson: Already inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame, Tyson, whose last WWE appearance was in 2010, appeared as a guest referee at Wrestlemania 14 in 1998. DeGeneration X (Shawn Michaels & Triple H) presented Tyson.
Mil Mascaras: Quite simply, the greatest masked wrestler of all time. Mascaras didn't spend a lot of time in WWE back in the day, but did appear for Eddie Einhorn's ill-fated IWA promotion in the 70's. Alberto Del Rio, Mascaras' nephew, was tapped to induct Mascaras, a consolation of sorts, as Del Rio, sidelined all winter due to a torn groin, wasn't able to compete at Wrestlemania.
Edge: Adam Copeland had a brief cup of coffee as a TV jobber in WCW before he signed with WWE in 1997 and entered their developmental program. As Edge, he debuted a number of months later, and racked up 11 (by their count) World or WWE titles over the course of 5 years (2006-11), this after 14 tag titles with 6 different partners. One of those former partners, childhood best pal Christian, was selected to induct the "Rated R Superstar", whose film debut, "Bending The Rules", is already out on DVD after a quickie, limited edition theatrical release.
The Four Horsemen: These bad guys were marketed as pro wrestling's answer to Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack back in the 80's. Put it another way, they were cool way before the rise of the counter-culture throwbacks of the New World Order in WCW and DX in WWE. Ric Flair was inducted solo in 2008, leading everyone to believe he was finally going to retire, but nearly 2 years later, he signed with TNA after a tour of Australia with old rival Hulk Hogan. Tully Blanchard became a preacher. Arn Anderson is now an agent-producer for WWE after hanging up the tights more than a decade ago. Barry Windham was a tag champ with both WWE & WCW, and gets in because the original 4th Horseman, Ole Anderson, is not on good terms with WWE and likely never will be. Manager James J. Dillon rounds out the 5-man group that was inducted by their most famous adversary, Dusty Rhodes.
The USA broadcast will focus on Tyson, Edge, & the Horsemen, so you'll have to wait for the Wrestlemania DVD to see the whole thing, as they never release the Hall of Fame event as a separate DVD entity.
As per usual, there has been the hue & cry over the exclusion of the late "Macho Man" Randy Savage, and speculation as to why, usually centering around an urban legend having to do with Stephanie McMahon, which I don't buy into, and it may be more about Vince McMahon holding grudges for whatever reason. The same goes for 70's icons Bruno Sammartino & Bob Backlund, who represent a very different era, and have their reasons for not cooperating with McMahon. Everyone has their preferences for who should be next to go. As it is, WWE has already inducted most of the icons of the 80's, save for Savage.
What do you guys think? Who's next?
Ron Simmons: An All-American linebacker at Florida State, Simmons turned from the gridiron to the squared circle when he was unable to make it in the NFL or even the CFL. He became the first African-American World champion when he dethroned Big Van Vader in 1992, and even though that title reign was short-lived, Simmons had etched his place in history. He jumped to WWE 4 years later, adopting the guise of Faarooq, and was attired in Roman gladiator gear. The gimmick was modified to modern times when he was given a stable, the Nation of Domination, a year later, but that gave way eventually to the Acolytes, later known as APA, in which he teamed with John "Bradshaw" Layfield, who inducted him into the Hall. The APA won 3 tag titles before Simmons retired from full-time competiton in 2004.
Yokozuna: Rodney Anoia wrestled under the name Kokina Maximus for the AWA before he signed with WWE in 1992, and won 2 WWE titles from 1993-4, winning the '93 Royal Rumble in impressive fashion. He passed away just a few years ago, and was inducted posthumously by Jey & Jimmy Uso, along with their father, Rikishi.
Mike Tyson: Already inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame, Tyson, whose last WWE appearance was in 2010, appeared as a guest referee at Wrestlemania 14 in 1998. DeGeneration X (Shawn Michaels & Triple H) presented Tyson.
Mil Mascaras: Quite simply, the greatest masked wrestler of all time. Mascaras didn't spend a lot of time in WWE back in the day, but did appear for Eddie Einhorn's ill-fated IWA promotion in the 70's. Alberto Del Rio, Mascaras' nephew, was tapped to induct Mascaras, a consolation of sorts, as Del Rio, sidelined all winter due to a torn groin, wasn't able to compete at Wrestlemania.
Edge: Adam Copeland had a brief cup of coffee as a TV jobber in WCW before he signed with WWE in 1997 and entered their developmental program. As Edge, he debuted a number of months later, and racked up 11 (by their count) World or WWE titles over the course of 5 years (2006-11), this after 14 tag titles with 6 different partners. One of those former partners, childhood best pal Christian, was selected to induct the "Rated R Superstar", whose film debut, "Bending The Rules", is already out on DVD after a quickie, limited edition theatrical release.
The Four Horsemen: These bad guys were marketed as pro wrestling's answer to Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack back in the 80's. Put it another way, they were cool way before the rise of the counter-culture throwbacks of the New World Order in WCW and DX in WWE. Ric Flair was inducted solo in 2008, leading everyone to believe he was finally going to retire, but nearly 2 years later, he signed with TNA after a tour of Australia with old rival Hulk Hogan. Tully Blanchard became a preacher. Arn Anderson is now an agent-producer for WWE after hanging up the tights more than a decade ago. Barry Windham was a tag champ with both WWE & WCW, and gets in because the original 4th Horseman, Ole Anderson, is not on good terms with WWE and likely never will be. Manager James J. Dillon rounds out the 5-man group that was inducted by their most famous adversary, Dusty Rhodes.
The USA broadcast will focus on Tyson, Edge, & the Horsemen, so you'll have to wait for the Wrestlemania DVD to see the whole thing, as they never release the Hall of Fame event as a separate DVD entity.
As per usual, there has been the hue & cry over the exclusion of the late "Macho Man" Randy Savage, and speculation as to why, usually centering around an urban legend having to do with Stephanie McMahon, which I don't buy into, and it may be more about Vince McMahon holding grudges for whatever reason. The same goes for 70's icons Bruno Sammartino & Bob Backlund, who represent a very different era, and have their reasons for not cooperating with McMahon. Everyone has their preferences for who should be next to go. As it is, WWE has already inducted most of the icons of the 80's, save for Savage.
What do you guys think? Who's next?
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Rockin' Funnies: Hollywood Indian Guides (2007)
Bill Engvall is one of the busiest guys in Hollywood these days, right along with his Blue Collar TV compadres Larry The Cable Guy & Jeff Foxworthy. Like Foxworthy, Engvall has done a self-titled sitcom, and was hired last year by GSN to revive the game show, Lingo, this in the wake of Foxworthy's success with Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?. Larry? He's the new pitchman for Prilosec these days. Go figure, right?
Anyway, in 2007, Engvall decided to give music a try. Well, not exactly. There is a musical background that goes with a spoken word track from his CD, "Here's Your Sign". "Hollywood Indian Guides" got a ton of airplay on CMT, back when they played a lot more music than they do now (Hey, it's a MTV Networks channel, what did you expect?). Yeah, I know, Foxworthy's done the comedy-music thing, too, with Alan Jackson a number of years back. Seems ol' Larry's behind the curve, don't ya think?
Warner Bros. Records' YouTube channel serves up "Hollywood Indian Guides".
Now, who d'ya think makes an appropriate April Fool? It ain't Engvall, that's for sure.
Anyway, in 2007, Engvall decided to give music a try. Well, not exactly. There is a musical background that goes with a spoken word track from his CD, "Here's Your Sign". "Hollywood Indian Guides" got a ton of airplay on CMT, back when they played a lot more music than they do now (Hey, it's a MTV Networks channel, what did you expect?). Yeah, I know, Foxworthy's done the comedy-music thing, too, with Alan Jackson a number of years back. Seems ol' Larry's behind the curve, don't ya think?
Warner Bros. Records' YouTube channel serves up "Hollywood Indian Guides".
Now, who d'ya think makes an appropriate April Fool? It ain't Engvall, that's for sure.
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