Sunday, April 14, 2013

Dunce Cap Award: Alex Rodriguez

At this rate, the only way Alex Rodriguez will ever make it to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown is either by buying a ticket or being on a work release program from the nearest prison.

The New York tabloid media is having a field day with reports that Rodriguez allegedly was attempting to acquire documentation linking him with the controversial Biogenesis lab in Miami that supposedly supplied him with PEDs a while back. Apparently, Rodriguez thought this was more important than continuing his rehabilitation from hip surgery that is keeping him out of the Yankee lineup until July at the earliest. If you believe what the newspapers tell you, the Yankees wouldn't mind at all if A-Rod (or should that be A-Roid?) never came back. They signed Kevin Youkilis in the offseason not only as insurance in case Rodriguez can't play at all this year, but to ensure stability at third base, though Youkilis can also play first base, as he did for Boston for several years.

The fact that Rodriguez supposedly wanted to spend---or should that be waste?---money on damning evidence that could destroy his chances of being elected to the Hall tells us that Rodriguez just doesn't care about the consequences, but rather protecting what little integrity he has left. There was another curious headline earlier this week that claimed he had a new girlfriend in the Dominican Republic, though there's been no mention of him splitting with ex-wrestler Torrie Wilson that I've read. Talk about dum-de-dum-dum-dummmmmmmmbbbbbbbbbb!!!!

I shan't be surprised if eventually the prices of his baseball cards drop dramatically during the course of his season as public opinion gradually continues to turn against him. For all of his talent, Rodriguez has wasted it by becoming dependent on performance enhancers, and doing so in the worst place in the world to get caught. In the media fishbowl known as New York City. We suggest a large size Dunce Cap be sent to Mr. Rodriguez, and recommend that Torrie fit it on for him, then wrap him in a headscissors if in fact he cops to cheating on her, too.

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