Saturday, August 22, 2009

Summerslam predictions

Summerslam is billed as the "biggest party of the summer". Appropriately, this year's edition is in Los Angeles at the Staples Center. Here's a quick look at the card.

ECW title: Christian vs. William Regal: This has "hot shot angle" written all over it. Regal was thrust into the #1 contender's role a week and a half ago, despite not having wrestled much on ECW since moving over in a cross-brand trade last month. His new allies, Vlad Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson, won't be involved if the creative team gets it right. Too soon for a title change-over again, so Christian retains.

WWE title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena: These two headlined this same PPV 2 years ago, and it speaks volumes of the inability of Raw's creative monkeys to find someone to be moved up to put fresh blood into the mix. The pundits will tell you that any combination of these two, plus Triple H and Batista (currently on the DL) have headlined more PPV's in the last 3-4 years. No wonder they say Raw is duller than dishwater despite the Saturday Night Live-esque Guest Host format that's been in effect for nearly 2 months. Orton, in fact, is the dullest of them all. That's what happens when you're the #1 heel on the show and you're not allowed to have a real range of emotions. Time for a switch here, as Cena regains the title.

Legacy (Ted DiBiase, Jr. & Cody Rhodes) vs. D-Generation X (Triple H & Shawn Michaels): Open & shut case. Legacy left the DX team lying in the ring Monday, sealing their fate. Superkick, pedigree, ballgame over. DX wins to start their latest reunion tour.

WWE tag titles: Big Show & Chris Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme: Open & shut case #2. Cryme Tyme (JTG & Shad Gaspard) aren't quite ready to be the faces of the dwindling tag team division. Jericho & Show retain.

WWE World title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk (TLC match): Jeff Hardy, along with brother Matt and Christian, helped make the TLC match famous some years back. However, nothing says lame duck champion like the reports that Hardy will take an extended sabbatical post-PPV, meaning that for Punk, the ducks are lined up in a tidy little row. Matt Hardy will pick up the baton for his brother, followed by John Morrison, Rey Mysterio, and the Undertaker. I'd not be surprised, either, if Jericho wants back in, too. Punk regains the title in what figures to be the best match on the show.

Intercontinental title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler: Ziggler had, I think, his best chance of winning the title last month, and didn't cash it in. Again, it's too soon to move the title to other hands, and, depending on who you believe, Rey was promised a lengthy run this time. Of course, when you factor in that your boss is a senile executive....! Pick-Mysterio.

Great Khali vs. Kane: 4 years ago, these two's roles were reversed. Now, Kane's the blase villain who's tortured Khali's interpreter/manager, Runjin Singh. They're now trying to claim Singh (Dave Kapoor) is Khali (Dalip Singh)'s brother. Stop the pain! Pick-Kane.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Jack Swagger: Swagger won the 1st meeting, but before that and since, he's picked his spots to press the issue. This from a former ECW champion? Yes, when Raw's head writer is an idiot. Swagger, though, would be a good bet to move into the main event and feud with Cena. Pick-Swagger.

Only the small minds in the creative office could screw this up, and they probably will.

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