Monday, April 6, 2020

Wrestlemania: What went wrong, and what went right

The first-ever closed-set Wrestlemania is in the books, a two night event that, due to COVID-19, was pre-taped a week and change before it was scheduled to take place.

Right now, let's go over the roll call of champions in WWE, NXT included. New titlists in bold.

Raw:

WWE Champion: Drew McIntyre.
US Champion: Andrade (out with a rib injury).
Raw tag team champions: The Street Profits.
Raw women's champion: Becky Lynch.
24/7 Champion: Rob Gronkowski.

Yes, you read that right. The three-time Super Bowl champion acted as host for most of the two nights, and you knew he was there so CEO/Chairman Vince McMahon could have something for ESPN & FS1 to talk about, as well as shows like Entertainment Tonight. Gronk's pal, Mojo Rawley, had regained the 24/7 title from R-Truth (Ron Killings) the night before, but as he was being chased on Sunday, Gronk dove into the scrum, and eventually pinned Rawley.

Yeah, the party boy fits right in.

McIntyre dispatched Brock Lesnar, ending the absentee champion's latest title-held-hostage run in under 10 minutes, but folks online are salty because it was all finishing moves. The F-5 vs. the Claymore Kick. Fans had the same problem the night before with another title match (see below), but under the circumstances, what could you do?

Lynch surprised fans by retaining over former NXT champ Shayna Baszler, lending credence to rumors that McMahon had not been happy with Baszler's recent appearances on Raw. There figures to be a rematch, perhaps as early as tonight (pre-taped).

The Street Profits (Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins) retained over the makeshift team of Angel Garza & Austin Theory, the latter of whom has only been in NXT for a short time after moving from the indie Evolve promotion late last year. Garza's manager, Zelina Vega (Thea Trinidad), initiated a sore loser attack after, leading to Bianca Belair, Ford's wife, making the save, and setting up a 6-person mixed tag, again possibly on tonight's show.

Other stuff: Vega's real-life better half, Aleister Black, downed Bobby Lashley. Kevin Owens defeated Seth Rollins, but the match required a restart since Rollins tried to take the lazy way out with a DQ, but Owens was having none of it. Rollins' blasphemous "Monday Night Messiah" gimmick is destined to fail in the long haul. Liv Morgan defeated Natalya in a pre-show match on Sunday, which helps Morgan out in the long term.

Undertaker turned back the clock to 2000, returning to street clothes and a motorcycle, recalling his "Big Evil"/American Bad Ass persona (2000-3) in besting A. J. Styles, who should've known better, in a Boneyard match, which is just a fancy name for a Buried Alive match. Fans loved this match.

NXT:

NXT champion: Adam Cole.
North American champion: Keith Lee.
NXT tag team champions: Matt Riddle & Pete Dunne.
NXT women's champion: Charlotte Flair.

They say that Flair defeated Australia's Rhea Ripley because they think Flair, who celebrated a birthday on Sunday, is a ratings draw. Recent numbers say otherwise. The theory I have is that McMahon felt he wanted to give Charlotte, an office favorite, a "birthday present".

Couple this with Lynch beating Baszler, and it's WWE Horsewomen 2, NXT 0. I'd think Vince was sending son-in-law Paul "Triple H" Levesque a not-so-subtle message.

Regular readers of this blog know where I think Vince should be right now......

Smackdown:

WWE Universal Champion: Braun Strowman.
Intercontinental champion: Sami Zayn.
Smackdown women's champion: Bayley.
Smackdown tag team champions: John Morrison & Mike "The Miz" Mizanin.
WWE Women's tag team champions: Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross.

Bliss & Cross had dropped the women's tag titles to the Kabuki Warriors (Asuka & Kairi Sane) back in October, but with the division as thin as a slice of onionskin paper, creative had little choice but to flip the titles back. Sane had just gotten back from her honeymoon in Japan just to take the loss. Yes, guys, she's recently gotten married.

Bayley survived a 5-woman elimination match that saw her bestie, Sasha Banks, eliminated by Lacey Evans before Bayley was able to retain. However, the seeds have been planted for the former tag champs to finally feud over the title.

Zayn, leader of what is known as the Artists' Collective (w/Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro), retained largely because it's too soon to change the Intercontinental title again. Cesaro showed off a new finisher in beating Drew Gulak earlier Saturday with a spinning release torture rack he calls the UFO, which apparently is something he had used in the indies before joining WWE a decade or so ago. However, Gulak, seconding Daniel Bryan, was no worse for wear in trying to help his new friend.

What was a three-way ladder match for the tag titles was reduced to a captains' ladder match with Miz sidelined with an undisclosed illness. All that did was give Morrison, the parkour expert, more room to do some jaw dropping moves. Seeds have been planted for the Usos & New Day to feud again as they jockey for position, but there's another tag team looming.....

And that would be Heavy Machinery, as Otis defeated Dolph Ziggler, and, in the process, gained the love of Mandy Rose in the process after they found out two nights earlier on Smackdown how Ziggler had conspired with Rose's erstwhile tag team partner, Sonya Deville, to keep Mandy & Otis from being a couple.

The Saturday co-feature saw Strowman, denied the Universal title in repeated attempts against Lesnar, prevail over 50-something Bill Goldberg in another short bout. Vince McMahon is insistent on bringing back the likes of Goldberg to goose up WWE Network subscriptions and ratings, as today's roster, a large chunk of which hasn't been fully developed before being called up, aren't generating consistent ratings.

Do us all a favor, Vince. Retire, and save room at the retirement home for your buddy in Washington.

Sunday's co-feature saw Bray Wyatt defeat John Cena in a match that was, well, surreal, for lack of a better description. Both men reportedly had input on the match, which was a visual time trip through the mind of Cena, as we revisited his earlier personae, plus some other crazy ideas. Again, the fans were eating it up. The result was what it was meant to be, as Wyatt is being re-built up after losing to Goldberg in Saudi Arabia in February, ending his run at Universal champion.

But, watch. Cena, if he returns at all, won't be back until Summerslam at the earliest.

To answer the question in the subject box, what went wrong?

Putting the NXT women's title on Flair. No matter what excuses are used, she didn't need it. To say she's on the Wednesday show to pull people away from AEW is bull.

McIntyre & Strowman's title wins taking a total time of less than 10 minutes each has people questioning McMahon's insistence on using Goldberg & Lesnar as much as he has.

What went right?

Just about everything else.

We'll see what happens tonight.

4 comments:

Mike Doran said...

Sometime in the '90s, when the WWF had turned into the WWE, going hog-wild with gimmicks in the process, Richard Roeper wrote the following in his Chicago Sun-Times column:

This isn't your father's professional wrestling.
As a matter of fact, this isn't even your big brother's pro wrestling from ten years ago.


For my part, I go back to the regional pro wrestling of the late '50s/early '60s (Yeah, I'm that old).

When Vince MacMahon took over the field in the '80s, I noticed just how he'd ramped up the craziness to heights undreamed of in my youth; I had no idea just how far he'd ultimately go …

A challenge for you:
Go to YouTube sometime and look up Alias The Champ, a Republic programmer from 1949 (the year before I was born), starring Gorgeous George.
It's there; I just checked.
I saw it on TV as a child, sometime in the mid-'50s; I also saw the then-current wrestlers on local TV circa '60.
Compared to today's wrestling scene, it all seems almost quaint …

hobbyfan said...

Thanks for telling me you've got 13 years on me, Mike.

I'll take you up on Alias The Champ soon.

I'm sure you've heard or read of President Trump calling himself a stable genius. Well, I think we know where he got the idea. From his buddy, Vince.

Mike Doran said...

(1) Check out Mystery*File blog for a sort-of "critique" of Alias The Champ I put up over there some years back (just go to the site and Search for the movie).

(2) Donald Trump was told of his "genius" long before he ever met Vince MacMahon.
His principal source was his father, Fred C. Trump Senior.
Look up the Trump family history some time - if you've got the nerve (and the stomach).

hobbyfan said...

I found Alias the Champ on YouTube. It'll be reviewed soon.

Delusions run in the Trump family, don't they? Seems Melania actually has the brains in the family.......