Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The NFL upholds Tom Brady's suspension. What's next?

The New England Patriots will begin defense of their ill-gained Super Bowl on September 10 without quarterback Tom Brady under center. The National Football League upheld the suspension of Brady for 4 games, largely for his refusal to cooperate with Ted Wells' investigation into Deflate-Gate. This after it was learned that as a symbol of Crybaby's defiant stance, he destroyed his cell phone, and taking with it any pertinent evidence that actually might've been able to exonerate him.

And, so, barring the Players' Association following through on its threat to take the league to court, Brady will be sitting for the first month of the season. All Crybaby did was strengthen the league's case against him, rather than weaken it, by childishly destroying the phone. Given the Patriots'----and Crybaby's---history, it will be business as usual come October if 2nd year signal caller Jimmy Garappolo doesn't get the Pats off to a quick start. If they're, say, 1-3, and sitting in the basement of the AFC East (where they belong), Crybaby will return with a massive chip on his shoulder, and he'll have his way anyway. Only problem is, Crybaby has to make 2 trips to the Meadowlands this year instead of 1, as the Pats will play the Jets AND Giants during the regular season.

I personally believe the league wasn't harsh enough with the Patriots. Given the history of sins that have gone unpunished, such as Brady's post-game tantrum in Charlotte in 2013, this is what the league should've done:

*--Redact the Super Bowl and AFC East & Conference titles. Had the league actually bothered to act on the complaints from the Colts & Ravens with great haste, chances are New England doesn't get to the big game, and the path was probably smoothed because of some backroom dealing to ensure major TV ratings.

*--Reduce the number of home games from 8 to 4. I'm not kidding. New England rarely loses at home, even in pre-season, due to the influence of owner Bob Kraft, who probably serves copious amounts of macaroni & cheese to game & league officials before each game. Well, I am kidding about that part. In order to properly punish the Patriots for a litany of sins, you have to take away the home field advantage(s). 12 games on the road, as opposed to 8, plus.....

*--The season opener is moved off Thursday, Sept. 10, and moved to Sunday, Sept. 13, in Pittsburgh. New England's only 4 home games, in my view, would be divisional games, plus a cupcake (i.e. Washington). The message from the other owners to Kraft would be, screw with us, we'll screw with you, and you have to like it.

Of course, it ain't gonna happen that way. Meantime, is there any way we can photoshop Brady and his wife, Gisele, into this 1985 Godley & Creme video?:

Well, it could be worse. I was going to suggest making Crybaby actually cry for the camera to pitch Maypo.

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