You might be Ted Cruz.
Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy for adapting his redneck jokes, but it fits.
Cruz, the dimwitted Senator from Texas, got into another social media war last week, this time with actor-comedian and Caesars SportsBook pitchman Patton Oswalt (ex-The King of Queens, Happy!, Marvel's Agents of SHIELD) after Oswalt had to cancel a club date due to---what else?---COVID concerns.
Now, you'd think that after getting routinely flamed on Twitter by Jimmy Kimmel and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Cruz would find something better to do with his time than pick fights he can't win. Unfortunately, he's cribbing from the Donald Trump playbook, and failing.
Farron Cousins explains: